The Bris
Encyclopedia
The Bris is the sixty-ninth episode of the sitcom Seinfeld
. It is the fifth episode of the fifth season, and it first aired on October 14, 1993.
gets a fortunate parking spot right in front of the hospital, which becomes unfortunate when a mental patient at the hospital suicidally
jumps from the roof and lands on it. George then attempts to get the hospital to pay for the car's damages. Kramer
, having directed the mental patient to the roof without realizing his intention, stumbles into the wrong room at the hospital and becomes convinced that he has seen a "pigman", an encounter he quickly develops into part of a conspiracy theory concerning the government and genetic mutation, claiming, "The government's been experimenting with pig-men since the fifties!" The incident of discovering a pigman in a hospital bed parodies the British 1973 film O Lucky Man!
. When George thinks there should be pigmen walking around, Jerry
tells George that there is always some "group of perverts that's attracted to it, 'ooh, that little tail really turns me on.'" In Shallow Hal
, Jason Alexander
's character has a little tail, and in fact, there is a group of females who are attracted to it.
Elaine
and Jerry become nervous about the religious duties they must perform when they agree to become godparents to the newborn baby, obligated to arrange the bris, which involves booking a mohel
and holding the baby during the circumcision
. At the bris, Elaine's unstable, shaky mohel arrives (guest star Charles Levin
). Kramer, disturbed by the concept of the bris, attempts to stop it, and the mohel accidentally circumcises Jerry's finger. The four go to the hospital, where Jerry's finger is attended to. Kramer finds the "pigman" (whom he later discovers is actually a "fat little mental patient") and "liberates" him from the hospital. The "pigman" steals George's car, which was again conveniently parked. The ending of this episode is a tribute to The Godfather
, even using the theme music from the movie. This is the last episode where Kramer gets applauded on his first entrance into Jerry's apartment, because Larry David had begged the studio audience to stop doing so, since he felt it wasted screen time and it threw off the actors' timing. According to the Notes About Nothing feature of the episode on the DVD, Jason Alexander has stated that this is the only episode he wishes was never made; his objections specifically centered around the character of the mohel, whose behavior (specifically, his hatred of children) bothered him.
Kramer: The pig-man! I saw a pig-man! He was just lying there and then he woke up. He looked up at me and made this horrible sound, eeeeaaaahhh, eeeeaaaahhh.
Kramer: Believe me, Jerry. Somewhere in this hospital, the anguished "oink" of Pig-Man cries out for help.
Jerry: Well, if I hear an anguished "oink", I'm outta here.
Kramer: Look, I know what's going on here, the oink, oink. Look here you little quack, there was a half man, half pig holed up in that room, there. Now where is he?! Where is he?! You know what I mean - pork, sausage, A-deek-a-deek-a-deek th-th-th-that's all folks.
George: He couldn't move over two feet! Land on the sidewalk, it's city property!
George: Someone's going to pay for this damage and it's not going to be me.
Jerry: Oh, you're screwed.
George: I know.
Mrs. Sweedler: Flew right past the children's wing. Apparently, they thought he was flying. You know how children are. "Oh, look a man is flying, a man is flying!" Then, SPLAT.
George: I wish there were pigmen. You get a few of these pigmen walking around and suddenly I'm looking a whole lot better. Then if somebody wants to fix me up at least they could say, "Hey at least he's no pig-man!"
Elaine: How do you find a mohel
? Motels, models...
Jerry: Oh, finding a Mohel
is a piece of cake. Any idiot can find a Mohel
. I have the tough job. I have to hold the baby while they do it. How would you like that job?
Jerry: Ah well, if it isn't Shakey the Mohel! Nice job on the circumcision, but it's not supposed to be a finger!
Mohel: The circumcision was perfect. The finger was your fault! You flinched!
Jerry: Oh, who made you a mohel? Whadya, get your degree from a matchbook?
Mohel: (making a sudden movement towards Jerry) You see! He flinched again!
Jerry: Nice mohel picking, Elaine. You picked a helluva mohel!
Mohel: One more peep outta you, and I'm gonna slice you up like a smoked sturgeon.
Jerry: Oh, don't threaten me, butcher boy.
Seinfeld
Seinfeld is an American television sitcom that originally aired on NBC from July 5, 1989, to May 14, 1998, lasting nine seasons, and is now in syndication. It was created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, the latter starring as a fictionalized version of himself...
. It is the fifth episode of the fifth season, and it first aired on October 14, 1993.
Plot
The four go to the hospital to meet friends who have just had a baby. At the hospital, GeorgeGeorge Costanza
George Louis Costanza is a character in the American television sitcom Seinfeld , played by Jason Alexander. He has variously been described as a "short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man" , "Lord of the Idiots" , and as "the greatest sitcom character of all time"...
gets a fortunate parking spot right in front of the hospital, which becomes unfortunate when a mental patient at the hospital suicidally
Suicide
Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one's own death. Suicide is often committed out of despair or attributed to some underlying mental disorder, such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, alcoholism, or drug abuse...
jumps from the roof and lands on it. George then attempts to get the hospital to pay for the car's damages. Kramer
Cosmo Kramer
Cosmo Kramer, usually referred to as simply "Kramer", is a fictional character on the American television sitcom Seinfeld , played by Michael Richards...
, having directed the mental patient to the roof without realizing his intention, stumbles into the wrong room at the hospital and becomes convinced that he has seen a "pigman", an encounter he quickly develops into part of a conspiracy theory concerning the government and genetic mutation, claiming, "The government's been experimenting with pig-men since the fifties!" The incident of discovering a pigman in a hospital bed parodies the British 1973 film O Lucky Man!
O Lucky Man!
O Lucky Man! is a 1973 British comedy-drama fantasy film, intended as an allegory on life in a capitalist society. Directed by Lindsay Anderson, it stars Malcolm McDowell as Mick Travis, whom McDowell had first played as a disaffected public schoolboy in his first film performance in Anderson's...
. When George thinks there should be pigmen walking around, Jerry
Jerry Seinfeld (character)
Jerome "Jerry" Seinfeld is the main protagonist of the American television sitcom Seinfeld . The straight man among his group of friends, this semi-fictionalized version of comedian Jerry Seinfeld was named after, co-created by, based on, and played by Seinfeld himself.The series revolves around...
tells George that there is always some "group of perverts that's attracted to it, 'ooh, that little tail really turns me on.'" In Shallow Hal
Shallow Hal
Shallow Hal is a 2001 romantic comedy film starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Jack Black, and Jason Alexander. It was directed by the Farrelly Brothers and filmed in and around Charlotte, North Carolina as well as Sterling and Princeton, Massachusetts at Wachusett Mountain.- Plot :Hal Larson is a...
, Jason Alexander
Jason Alexander
Jay Scott Greenspan , better known by his professional name of Jason Alexander, is an American actor, writer, comedian, television director, producer, and singer. He is best known for his role as George Costanza on the television series Seinfeld, appearing in the sitcom from 1989 to 1998...
's character has a little tail, and in fact, there is a group of females who are attracted to it.
Elaine
Elaine Benes
Elaine Marie Benes is a fictional character on the American television sitcom Seinfeld , played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Elaine's best friend is her ex-boyfriend Jerry Seinfeld; she is also good friends with George Costanza and Cosmo Kramer...
and Jerry become nervous about the religious duties they must perform when they agree to become godparents to the newborn baby, obligated to arrange the bris, which involves booking a mohel
Mohel
A mohel is a Jewish person trained in the practice of brit milah "covenant of circumcision."-Etymology of the Hebrew and Aramaic term:...
and holding the baby during the circumcision
Circumcision
Male circumcision is the surgical removal of some or all of the foreskin from the penis. The word "circumcision" comes from Latin and ....
. At the bris, Elaine's unstable, shaky mohel arrives (guest star Charles Levin
Charles Levin (actor)
Charles Levin is an American actor who has appeared in television and movies and on stage. He is best known for the role of Elliot Novak on the series Alice having become a regular in the show's 9th season and the recurring role of Eddie Gregg on Hill Street Blues from 1982 to 1986.-Life and...
). Kramer, disturbed by the concept of the bris, attempts to stop it, and the mohel accidentally circumcises Jerry's finger. The four go to the hospital, where Jerry's finger is attended to. Kramer finds the "pigman" (whom he later discovers is actually a "fat little mental patient") and "liberates" him from the hospital. The "pigman" steals George's car, which was again conveniently parked. The ending of this episode is a tribute to The Godfather
The Godfather
The Godfather is a 1972 American epic crime film directed by Francis Ford Coppola, based on the 1969 novel by Mario Puzo. With a screenplay by Puzo, Coppola and an uncredited Robert Towne, the film stars Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caan, Robert Duvall, Sterling Hayden, John Marley, Richard...
, even using the theme music from the movie. This is the last episode where Kramer gets applauded on his first entrance into Jerry's apartment, because Larry David had begged the studio audience to stop doing so, since he felt it wasted screen time and it threw off the actors' timing. According to the Notes About Nothing feature of the episode on the DVD, Jason Alexander has stated that this is the only episode he wishes was never made; his objections specifically centered around the character of the mohel, whose behavior (specifically, his hatred of children) bothered him.
Quotes
Kramer: The pig-man! I saw a pig-man! He was just lying there and then he woke up. He looked up at me and made this horrible sound, eeeeaaaahhh, eeeeaaaahhh.
Kramer: Believe me, Jerry. Somewhere in this hospital, the anguished "oink" of Pig-Man cries out for help.
Jerry: Well, if I hear an anguished "oink", I'm outta here.
Kramer: Look, I know what's going on here, the oink, oink. Look here you little quack, there was a half man, half pig holed up in that room, there. Now where is he?! Where is he?! You know what I mean - pork, sausage, A-deek-a-deek-a-deek th-th-th-that's all folks.
George: He couldn't move over two feet! Land on the sidewalk, it's city property!
George: Someone's going to pay for this damage and it's not going to be me.
Jerry: Oh, you're screwed.
George: I know.
Mrs. Sweedler: Flew right past the children's wing. Apparently, they thought he was flying. You know how children are. "Oh, look a man is flying, a man is flying!" Then, SPLAT.
George: I wish there were pigmen. You get a few of these pigmen walking around and suddenly I'm looking a whole lot better. Then if somebody wants to fix me up at least they could say, "Hey at least he's no pig-man!"
Elaine: How do you find a mohel
Mohel
A mohel is a Jewish person trained in the practice of brit milah "covenant of circumcision."-Etymology of the Hebrew and Aramaic term:...
? Motels, models...
Jerry: Oh, finding a Mohel
Mohel
A mohel is a Jewish person trained in the practice of brit milah "covenant of circumcision."-Etymology of the Hebrew and Aramaic term:...
is a piece of cake. Any idiot can find a Mohel
Mohel
A mohel is a Jewish person trained in the practice of brit milah "covenant of circumcision."-Etymology of the Hebrew and Aramaic term:...
. I have the tough job. I have to hold the baby while they do it. How would you like that job?
Jerry: Ah well, if it isn't Shakey the Mohel! Nice job on the circumcision, but it's not supposed to be a finger!
Mohel: The circumcision was perfect. The finger was your fault! You flinched!
Jerry: Oh, who made you a mohel? Whadya, get your degree from a matchbook?
Mohel: (making a sudden movement towards Jerry) You see! He flinched again!
Jerry: Nice mohel picking, Elaine. You picked a helluva mohel!
Mohel: One more peep outta you, and I'm gonna slice you up like a smoked sturgeon.
Jerry: Oh, don't threaten me, butcher boy.