The Castle (radio series)
Encyclopedia
The Castle is a 2007 Radio 4
comedy set in the Middle Ages and referencing modern life - in the words of its own introduction, "a comedy set in the filth, stench and grime of the middle ages, with some nice music". In the traditions of Blackadder
, the exact timeframe of the series is not fixed - one episode specifies it to be in the early 12th century, yet another references Joan Of Arc. It is written by Kim Fuller
, with additional dialogue by Paul Alexander
. It was first broadcast from Friday 7 September 2007, at 11.30am, and a second series began on Friday 2 January 2009 in the same time slot. Series 3 debuted on Wednesday 14 July 2010.
BBC Radio 4
BBC Radio 4 is a British domestic radio station, operated and owned by the BBC, that broadcasts a wide variety of spoken-word programmes, including news, drama, comedy, science and history. It replaced the BBC Home Service in 1967. The station controller is currently Gwyneth Williams, and the...
comedy set in the Middle Ages and referencing modern life - in the words of its own introduction, "a comedy set in the filth, stench and grime of the middle ages, with some nice music". In the traditions of Blackadder
Blackadder
Blackadder is the name that encompassed four series of a BBC1 historical sitcom, along with several one-off instalments. All television programme episodes starred Rowan Atkinson as anti-hero Edmund Blackadder and Tony Robinson as Blackadder's dogsbody, Baldrick...
, the exact timeframe of the series is not fixed - one episode specifies it to be in the early 12th century, yet another references Joan Of Arc. It is written by Kim Fuller
Kim Fuller
Kim Fuller is a British writer for film, radio and television. His brother Simon Fuller is Britain's most successful music manager as manager of Annie Lennox and The Spice Girls amongst others and creator of the Idol Series...
, with additional dialogue by Paul Alexander
Paul Alexander (British writer)
Paul Alexander is a British comedy writer. He has written or contributed to My Hero, Red Dwarf, The 10 Percenters, My Spy Family, Babes in the Wood, The Castle, Horrid Henry, Bedsitcom, Oggy and the Cockroaches and The Green Green Grass.-External links:...
. It was first broadcast from Friday 7 September 2007, at 11.30am, and a second series began on Friday 2 January 2009 in the same time slot. Series 3 debuted on Wednesday 14 July 2010.
Series 1
- Sir William De Warenne moves into the castle next door, and discovers the lovely Anne. Anne discovers the lovely Sam. Charlotte discovers that she is supposed to stay out of the way.
- An unexpected lion and the world's first satellite dish spell trouble for Anne and Sam Tree's ongoing romance.
- Sir William decides to woo Lady Anne with a swearing cook and a chocolate fountain.
- Sir William decides to open a theme castle and Sam Tree decides to save Unicorn Forest.
- The village pub acquires two new mysterious barmaids as Anne and Charlotte plot to ensnare Sam Tree. Sir William De Warenne gets in touch with his feminine side whilst Duncan gets in touch with his masculine one.
- Sir John tires of acting as the local magistrateMagistrateA magistrate is an officer of the state; in modern usage the term usually refers to a judge or prosecutor. This was not always the case; in ancient Rome, a magistratus was one of the highest government officers and possessed both judicial and executive powers. Today, in common law systems, a...
, and hands the job to Sir William, who, having realized that Sam stands between him and Anne, uses his position to condemn Sam to death. Unfortunately the scaffold is built using Thomas's latest invention - the flat pack.
Series 2
- Sam leaves by rocket and Sir William fails a health and safety inspection of his torture chamber
- Ann seeks Sam's replacement, her father falls in love with the con artist Countess de Totty (Katy BrandKaty BrandKaty Brand is an English actress, comedian and writer known for her ITV2 series Katy Brand's Big Ass Show and for Comedy Lab Slap on Channel 4....
) and Sir William enters Celebrity Strictly Come Gavotting - A theatrical troupe led by Will ShakeshaftWilliam ShakespeareWilliam Shakespeare was an English poet and playwright, widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language and the world's pre-eminent dramatist. He is often called England's national poet and the "Bard of Avon"...
(Lewis MacLeodLewis MacLeodEuan Lewis MacLeod is a prolific Scottish character actor, who can be heard as the voice of a huge number of television commercials, movie trailers and cartoons in his native UK. He voices characters such as Sebulba from Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace and Postman Pat...
) visits the town. - De Warenne invites his friend Earl of Essex and his daughter, hoping to flirt with the latter to make Ann jealous, whilst CSI arrives to investigate a murder victim from 15 years ago found by Time Team - who turns out to be Essex's twin brother
- Sir John Woodstock puts on a rock music festival, much to the annoyance of the Pope
- Lord Clarkson arrives and tries to get his hands of Sir John's estate by marrying Ann so Peter Stringfellow can build a lap-dancing club there, and Merlin uses helium to give Charlotte a breast enhancement in an attempt to distract Clarkson
Series 3
- The Dragon Of Mass Destruction - Sir William is interrogated by the Chilcott Enquiry, Sir John receives a letter from Lady Lumley of Purdey, and Henry falls in love with Lady Lindsay de Lohan.
- The Pilchards Of Doom - King Russell de Brand pays a visit, Sir John is challenged to a duel by Lady Lumley's husband, and Thomas attempts to discover the origins of the universe with the aid of Lord Hadron and his steed Collider.
- The Snowballs Of Hell - During an exceptionally cold winter (in August), Sir John permits the whole village population to move into the castle for the duration, but gang warfare soon breaks out. Meanwhile, Charlotte gets intimate with Merlin and Anne catches up with an old flame.
- The Vuvuzela Of Terror - Sir John struggles to convince His Majesty's Chancellor to pass his expense claims for moat-cleaning.
- Four Wiseguys And A Funeral - Sir William sets out to write his autobiography, but is visited by gangsters who threaten to reveal his darkest secret.
- There's No Place Like Woodstock - Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber arrives in Woodstock, and stages a production of "The Wizard Of Oz" starring Lady Anne as Dorothy.
Popular culture references
- All episodes - musical interludes between scenes consist of well-known rock tunes such as "Paranoid"Paranoid (song)"Paranoid" is a song by the British heavy metal band Black Sabbath, featured on their second album Paranoid . It is the first single from the album, while the B-side is the song "The Wizard". It reached number 4 on the UK Singles Chart and number 61 on the Billboard Hot 100...
and "Relax"Relax (song)"Relax" is the debut single by British dance group Frankie Goes to Hollywood, released in the UK by ZTT Records in 1983. The song was later included on the album Welcome to the Pleasuredome ....
, played in a medieval style, using instruments like the recorderRecorderThe recorder is a woodwind musical instrument of the family known as fipple flutes or internal duct flutes—whistle-like instruments which include the tin whistle. The recorder is end-blown and the mouth of the instrument is constricted by a wooden plug, known as a block or fipple...
and the luteLuteLute can refer generally to any plucked string instrument with a neck and a deep round back, or more specifically to an instrument from the family of European lutes....
.
Series 1
- Episode 3 - "broad carriage" in lieu of broadband, Gordon de Ramsay and a witch in lieu of Gordon RamsayGordon RamsayGordon James Ramsay, OBE is a Scottish chef, television personality and restaurateur. He has been awarded 13 Michelin stars....
and Nigella LawsonNigella LawsonNigella Lucy Lawson is an English food writer, journalist and broadcaster. Lawson is the daughter of Nigel Lawson, the former Chancellor of the Exchequer, and Vanessa Salmon, whose family owned the J. Lyons and Co. empire...
, "What Ho!" and "Oi! Varlet" in magazine in place of Hello magazineHello!Hello is a weekly magazine specializing in celebrity news and human-interest stories, published in the United Kingdom since 1988. Hello is sister magazine to ¡Hola!, the Spanish weekly magazine launched in Spain in 1944...
, "Make the Pox History!" in lieu of Make Poverty HistoryMake Poverty HistoryMake Poverty History is the name of a campaign that exists in a number of countries, including Australia, Canada, Denmark , Finland, New Zealand, Nigeria, Norway, Romania, the United Arab Emirates, Great Britain and Ireland...
, and the minstrel "Master James BluntJames BluntJames Hillier Blount , better known by his stage name James Blunt, is an English singer-songwriter and musician, and former army officer, whose debut album, Back to Bedlam and single releases, including "You're Beautiful" and "Goodbye My Lover", brought him to fame in 2005...
late of the king's army". - Episode 4 - Theméd park inventor Sir Walt-er de 'IsneyWalt DisneyWalter Elias "Walt" Disney was an American film producer, director, screenwriter, voice actor, animator, entrepreneur, entertainer, international icon, and philanthropist, well-known for his influence in the field of entertainment during the 20th century. Along with his brother Roy O...
, the architect Sir Richard de RogersRichard RogersRichard George Rogers, Baron Rogers of Riverside CH Kt FRIBA FCSD is a British architect noted for his modernist and functionalist designs....
, and his Gherkin tower30 St Mary Axe30 St Mary Axe, the Swiss Re Building , is a skyscraper in London's main financial district, the City of London, completed in December 2003 and opened at the end of May 2004...
, and the building of a super casino.
Series 2
- Episode 1 - Falling property prices in reference to the credit crunch, Torturer's Question Time in reference to Gardener's Question Time, the Westfield Shopping CentreWestfield LondonWestfield London is a shopping centre in White City in the London Borough of Hammersmith and Fulham. The centre was developed by the Westfield Group at a cost of £1.6bn,...
- Episode 2 - Prontascribe for Prontaprint, Sir Bruce ForsoothBruce ForsythSir Bruce Joseph Forsyth-Johnson, CBE , commonly known as Bruce Forsyth, or Brucie, is an English TV personality...
hosting Strictly Come GavottingStrictly Come DancingStrictly Come Dancing is a British television show, featuring celebrities with professional dance partners competing in Ballroom and Latin dances. The title of the show suggests a continuation of the long-running series Come Dancing, with an allusion to the film Strictly Ballroom...
and John SergeantJohn Sergeant (journalist)John Sergeant is a British television and radio journalist and broadcaster.-Biography:The son of a missionary who was also a distinguished linguist, Sergeant is of Russian Jewish origin on his mother's side. Sergeant's early life meant that he followed his father's work, and was raised in...
's participation in it, recycling collections - Episode 3 - Various quotations from Shakespeare.
- Episode 4 - the BodenBoden, SwedenBoden is a locality and the seat of Boden Municipality in Norrbotten County, Sweden with 18,680 inhabitants in 2005.- History :The town of Boden started as a railway junction where the Northern Line met with the Ore Line from the rich iron ore fields in northern Sweden.The town experienced...
catalogue; global warming; the Iraq War; Tony RobinsonTony RobinsonTony Robinson is an English actor, comedian, author, broadcaster and political campaigner. He is best known for playing Baldrick in the BBC television series Blackadder, and for hosting Channel 4 programmes such as Time Team and The Worst Jobs in History. Robinson is a member of the Labour Party...
(McCloud), Time TeamTime TeamTime Team is a British television series which has been aired on Channel 4 since 1994. Created by television producer Tim Taylor and presented by actor Tony Robinson, each episode features a team of specialists carrying out an archaeological dig over a period of three days, with Robinson explaining...
; Polish plumbers; droughts, water rationing; De Warrene's friend the Earl of Essex as a stereotypical ChavChavA chav is a term that is used in the United Kingdom to describe a stereotype of teenagers and young adults from an underclass background.-Etymology:...
white van man; CSICSI: Crime Scene InvestigationCSI: Crime Scene Investigation is an American crime drama television series, which premiered on CBS on October 6, 2000. The show was created by Anthony E. Zuiker and produced by Jerry Bruckheimer...
, staffed by Lord Howard Kane, Poirot, Scooby Doo and Sherlock HolmesSherlock HolmesSherlock Holmes is a fictional detective created by Scottish author and physician Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. The fantastic London-based "consulting detective", Holmes is famous for his astute logical reasoning, his ability to take almost any disguise, and his use of forensic science skills to solve...
; the divorce of Lord McCartneyPaul McCartneySir James Paul McCartney, MBE, Hon RAM, FRCM is an English musician, singer-songwriter and composer. Formerly of The Beatles and Wings , McCartney is listed in Guinness World Records as the "most successful musician and composer in popular music history", with 60 gold discs and sales of 100... - Episode 6 - An 'exit strategy in the Holy Land' (comparing it to the Iraq War), the car/cart-obsessed Lord ClarksonJeremy ClarksonJeremy Charles Robert Clarkson is an English broadcaster, journalist and writer who specialises in motoring. He is best known for his role on the BBC TV show Top Gear along with co-presenters Richard Hammond and James May...
, Tom-Tom the sat nav parrot with the voices of Terry WoganTerry WoganSir Michael Terence Wogan, KBE, DL , or also known as Terry Wogan, is a veteran Irish radio and television broadcaster who holds dual Irish and British citizenship. Wogan has worked for the BBC in the United Kingdom for most of his career...
, Billy ConnollyBilly ConnollyWilliam "Billy" Connolly, Jr., CBE is a Scottish comedian, musician, presenter and actor. He is sometimes known, especially in his native Scotland, by the nickname The Big Yin...
and Kenneth WilliamsKenneth WilliamsKenneth Charles Williams was an English comic actor and comedian. He was one of the main ensemble in 26 of the Carry On films, and appeared in numerous British television shows, and radio comedies with Tony Hancock and Kenneth Horne.-Life and career:Kenneth Charles Williams was born on 22 February...
, the London congestion chargeLondon congestion chargeThe London congestion charge is a fee charged for some categories of motor vehicle to travel at certain times within the Congestion Charge Zone , a traffic area in London. The charge aims to reduce congestion, and raise investment funds for London's transport system...
, Sir Peter StringfellowPeter StringfellowPeter James Stringfellow is an English nightclub owner.-Early life:Stringfellow was born on 17 October 1940 to Elsie and James William Stringfellow , a steelworker...
opening a lap-dancing committee in the village, Jeremy PaxmanJeremy PaxmanJeremy Dickson Paxman is a British journalist, author and television presenter. He has worked for the BBC since 1977. He is noted for a forthright and abrasive interviewing style, particularly when interrogating politicians...
hosting University ChallengeUniversity ChallengeUniversity Challenge is a British quiz programme that has aired since 1962. The format is based on the American show College Bowl, which ran on NBC radio from 1953 to 1957, and on NBC television from 1959 to 1970....
(though England still only has two universities), the StigThe StigThe Stig is a character in the British motoring television show Top Gear. The character plays on the anonymity of racing drivers' full-face helmets, with the running joke that nobody knows who, or indeed what, is inside the character's racing suit. The character was the creation of presenter Jeremy...
Series 3
- Episode 1 - Lady LumleyJoanna LumleyJoanna Lamond Lumley, OBE, FRGS is a British actress, voice-over artist, former-model and author, best known for her roles in British television series Absolutely Fabulous portraying Edina Monsoon's best friend, Patsy Stone, as well as parts in The New Avengers, Sapphire & Steel, and Sensitive...
of Purdey, Lady Lindsay de LohanLindsay LohanLindsay Lohan is an American actress, pop singer and model. She began her career as a child fashion model before making her motion picture debut in Disney's 1998 remake of The Parent Trap at the age of 11...
, and the Chilcot Inquiry - Episode 2 - King Russell de BrandRussell BrandRussell Edward Brand is an English comedian, actor, columnist, singer, author and radio/television presenter.Brand achieved mainstream fame in the UK in 2004 for his role as host of Big Brother spin-off, Big Brother's Big Mouth. His first major film role was in the 2007 film St Trinians...
, Lord HadronLarge Hadron ColliderThe Large Hadron Collider is the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator. It is expected to address some of the most fundamental questions of physics, advancing the understanding of the deepest laws of nature....
and his horse, Collider. Lady Lumley talks about the Gurkhas, and speaks to Sir John of becoming The AvengersThe Avengers (TV series)The Avengers is a spy-fi British television series set in the 1960s Britain. The Avengers initially focused on Dr. David Keel and his assistant John Steed . Hendry left after the first series and Steed became the main character, partnered with a succession of assistants...
, with her trusty "Steed" (a horse with a bowler). - Episode 4 - Sir John is struggling with his expenses claims, Henry acquires a VuvuzelaVuvuzelaThe vuvuzela , also known as lepatata Mambu , colloquially known in South Africa as "Moerstripper", is a plastic horn, about long, which produces a loud monotone note, typically around B3 . Some models are made in two parts to facilitate storage, and this design also allows pitch variation...
, and Anne and Charlotte visit a medieval Tesco. - Episode 5 - Sir John and Sir William read the Daily (Chain) Mail and object to its right-wing content, arguing that even the warmongering Baron von Adolf find it too extreme. Sir William is visited by Antonio SopranoThe SopranosThe Sopranos is an American television drama series created by David Chase that revolves around the New Jersey-based Italian-American mobster Tony Soprano and the difficulties he faces as he tries to balance the often conflicting requirements of his home life and the criminal organization he heads...
, and Merlin awakes to find a dead unicorn's head in his bed. - Episode 6 - Andrew Lloyd WebberAndrew Lloyd WebberAndrew Lloyd Webber, Baron Lloyd-Webber is an English composer of musical theatre.Lloyd Webber has achieved great popular success in musical theatre. Several of his musicals have run for more than a decade both in the West End and on Broadway. He has composed 13 musicals, a song cycle, a set of...
arrives to stage a production of The Wizard of OzThe Wizard of Oz (adaptations)The Wonderful Wizard of Oz is a 1900 novel by L. Frank Baum, which has been adapted into several different works, the most famous being the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz, starring Judy Garland...
; he is in the midst of a talent war with Master CowellSimon CowellSimon Phillip Cowell is an English A&R executive, television producer, entrepreneur, and television personality. He is known in the United Kingdom and United States for his role as a talent judge on TV shows such as Pop Idol, The X Factor, Britain's Got Talent and American Idol...
of Subo.
Cast
- Sir John Woodstock - James FleetJames FleetJames Edward Fleet is an English actor. He is most famous for his roles as the bumbling and well-meaning Tom in the 1994 British romantic comedy film Four Weddings and a Funeral, and the dim-witted Hugo Horton in the BBC situation comedy television series The Vicar of Dibley.-Personal life:Fleet...
- Lady Anne Woodstock, John's teenage daughter - Susan Earl (series 1) / Montserrat LombardMontserrat LombardMontserrat Lombard is a British actress best known for playing WPC Sharon 'Shaz' Granger in the BBC Drama series Ashes to Ashes.Lombard was born in London. She is half Spanish and half Italian...
(series 2) / Martha Howe-DouglasMartha Howe-DouglasMartha Howe-Douglas is an English actress, best known for playing the receptionist Donna Parmar in the BBC One daytime soap, Doctors. She has appeared in the children's series Horrible Histories, and as Lady Anne in the BBC Radio 4 sitcom "The Castle"....
(series 3) - Lady Charlotte, Anne's best friend - Ingrid OliverIngrid OliverIngrid Oliver is a British actress and comedian, and one half of comedic double act Watson and Oliver.-Career:In September 2005, Ingrid Oliver and Lorna Watson performed their first show together at The Canal Cafe Theatre in London...
- Master Henry Woodstock, John's 13 year old son - Steven Kynman
- John's household servant Thomas, forever inventing medieval versions of modern innovations (central heating, radio, satellite dishes, microwave, parachute) - Jonathan KyddJonathan Kydd (actor)Jonathan Kydd is a British actor. He is the son of the actor Sam Kydd.His first film was The Iron Maiden, in which he appeared aged six with his father. His mother, Pinkie, was one of England's first female advertising copywriters. She also played table tennis eleven times for England.Kydd was...
(Kydd was only credited as Duncan in series 1, but series 2 corrected this error) - Sir William De Warenne, knight errant and scourge of the Levant, voted top knight by Esquire magazine - Neil DudgeonNeil DudgeonNeil Dudgeon is a British actor best known for his many television appearances, most often in crime drama.-Early Life:Dudgeon was born 1 January 1961 in Doncaster, Yorkshire, and attended Danum Grammar School among others. He established himself as an actor in school plays and went on to study...
- Cardinal Duncan, Sir William's closet-homosexual sidekick - Jonathan KyddJonathan Kydd (actor)Jonathan Kydd is a British actor. He is the son of the actor Sam Kydd.His first film was The Iron Maiden, in which he appeared aged six with his father. His mother, Pinkie, was one of England's first female advertising copywriters. She also played table tennis eleven times for England.Kydd was...
- Sam Tree, Anne's peasant heart-throb - Toby Ross-Bryant
- Merlin, Anne's second peasant heart-throb - Lewis MacLeodLewis MacLeodEuan Lewis MacLeod is a prolific Scottish character actor, who can be heard as the voice of a huge number of television commercials, movie trailers and cartoons in his native UK. He voices characters such as Sebulba from Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace and Postman Pat...
- Billy Bagshot, local standup comedian - Steven Kynman
- Jedediah Wainwright, a local busybody who speaks up in every public forum, claiming to represent organizations like the "Public Morals Committee" or "Environmental Committee". He objects to whatever is being proposed, declaring "It's outrageous!".