The Wettest Stories Ever Told
Encyclopedia
The Wettest Stories Ever Told is the eighteenth episode of The Simpsons
’ seventeenth season
.
armed with knives), the family try to salvage the night by turning the episode into yet another Simpsons anthology show (in the same vein as "Tales from the Public Domain
," "Margical History Tour
," and "Simpsons Christmas Stories
")--this time with a nautical theme.
(who is widowed), Bart
, and Lisa
board the Mayflower
to head for the new world, but just as they do, Homer
runs ahead of them and hides in a barrel. They see the police (Lenny and Carl) looking for him (as he made the mistake of questioning why this era is called the Jacobean era
when the king is named James
), and they take pity on him. Marge immediately grows on Homer, but Moe likes her as well (having gone as far as to kill her previous husband) and is instantly jealous of their friendship. To get Homer out of the way, Moe takes him down to the storage room where all the beer is held and tells him to drink whenever a wave hits the boat. He gets drunk, and Captain “Flandish
” (Flanders
) and Reverend Lovejoy find him and other passengers partying.
Moe blames Homer, and they place him in a stock. A storm then approaches, and Captain Flandish becomes unconscious. Homer claims that he steers better when he is drunk, and while drinking a bottle of wine while still trapped in the stock and shirtless, he leads them safely out of the storm, and gets together with Marge. All members of the Mayflower meet the Wampanoag tribe, and Flandish thanks Great Chief Wig-Gum for all he has done for them, as he regrets for what they are going to do to them. Wiggum then asks what that is, and Flandish replies it is giving him the biggest piece of pumpkin pie
, and mumbles that they are going to take their land and wipe them out.
sets sail from England in 1789, commanded by Captain Bligh (Skinner
). During the first 718 days of the voyage, Bligh severely mistreats his crew, by not giving them water at last day in order to save water and tossing off their mail because they had drawn a picture of Bligh making out with a merman. Willie warns him of a mutiny
if he mistreats them too much, but Bligh ignores him. They arrive in Tahiti
, where Homer and Marge are the rulers of island and the crew has a wonderful time until it was time to leave. The crew wanted to stay at Tahiti, but Captain Bligh tells them that it was wonderful vacation but they must forget it and sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" in-a-round while working.
Eventually, Bligh continues abusing the crew more as they sing, and First Mate Bart Christian
, who had enough of this, leads a mutiny with the help of the crew and sends Bligh and Willie off in a lifeboat
. Willie then berates Bligh for not listening to him in the first place, but that only makes Bligh more angry at Willie, challenging him as too much of a spineless coward to mutiny. In response, Willie forces Bligh off the lifeboat (proving that he is not a coward) and rows away while Bligh holds onto on a sea turtle
, who then submerges into the sea, with Skinner in tow after the latter taunts it. Bart, as the new Captain of the Bounty, orders the crews to set sail for Tahiti. Then he throws away the ship’s helm and they crash into Antarctica.
Neptune on New Year’s Eve during the 1970s in a parody of The Poseidon Adventure. At midnight, Captain Burns fails to notice a massive freak wave
which hits the bridge and kills him and First Officer Waylon Smithers
and the ship capsizes. Led by Selma, survivors Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Lenny, Carl, Comic Book Guy, Old Jewish Man (and his wife), and Sideshow Mel ignore Purser
Wiggum’s advice to stay put in the ballroom and decide to climb up the decks to the engine room
. While climbing up through the smokestack, Lenny panics and takes a dive.
They encounter rooms in flame, tigers, and Homer doing his business in an upside-down bathroom, knowing that he has great "ass-suction". Comic Book Guy swims through a flooded deck to help the others get to the engine room, but he has a heart attack
and dies. The group makes it to the engine room, but Sideshow Mel’s hair is set on fire because of a blowtorch
from the rescue team and he falls unconscious. The rest of the original group makes it off the ship, at which point they encounter the walking skeletons
of the Bounty crew who are still trying to get back to Tahiti
. In a moment of Fourth Wall
breaking, Jimbo chastises Bart for being a so incompetent capitan to the point of invade another person's story, but Bart retorts that, at least, he's still trying to go back to Tahiti and get some girls there, unlike Kearney and Dolph which became gay mates (actually their ribs got stuck in each other, but Bart refuses to acknowledge it.).
The Simpsons
The Simpsons is an American animated sitcom created by Matt Groening for the Fox Broadcasting Company. The series is a satirical parody of a middle class American lifestyle epitomized by its family of the same name, which consists of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie...
’ seventeenth season
The Simpsons (season 17)
The Simpsons' seventeenth season originally aired between September 2005 and May 2006, beginning on Sunday, September 11, 2005. It broke Fox's tradition of pushing its shows' season premieres back to November to accommodate the Major League Baseball games airing on the network during September...
.
Plot
When the Simpsons' plans for a nice family outing at the Frying Dutchman turns into a dining disaster (due to an uncooperative octopusOctopus
The octopus is a cephalopod mollusc of the order Octopoda. Octopuses have two eyes and four pairs of arms, and like other cephalopods they are bilaterally symmetric. An octopus has a hard beak, with its mouth at the center point of the arms...
armed with knives), the family try to salvage the night by turning the episode into yet another Simpsons anthology show (in the same vein as "Tales from the Public Domain
Tales from the Public Domain
"Tales from the Public Domain" is the fourteenth episode of The Simpsons thirteenth season. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on March 17, 2002. It is the third trilogy episode of the series, which had become annual since the twelfth season's "Simpsons Tall Tales",...
," "Margical History Tour
Margical History Tour
"Margical History Tour" is the eleventh episode of The Simpsons fifteenth season. The episode was first broadcast on February 8, 2004. This is one of several Simpsons episodes that features mini-stories.-Plot:...
," and "Simpsons Christmas Stories
Simpsons Christmas Stories
"Simpsons Christmas Stories" is the ninth episode of The Simpsons seventeenth season.-The First Do'h-El:When Reverend Lovejoy can not attend the Christmas sermon due to a horrible train wreck , Flanders immediately takes over. However, he gets a paper cut and faints...
")--this time with a nautical theme.
Mayflower Madman
MargeMarge Simpson
Marjorie "Marge" Simpson is a fictional main character in the animated television series The Simpsons and part of the eponymous family. She is voiced by actress Julie Kavner and first appeared on television in The Tracey Ullman Show short "Good Night" on April 19, 1987...
(who is widowed), Bart
Bart Simpson
Bartholomew JoJo "Bart" Simpson is a fictional main character in the animated television series The Simpsons and part of the Simpson family. He is voiced by actress Nancy Cartwright and first appeared on television in The Tracey Ullman Show short "Good Night" on April 19, 1987...
, and Lisa
Lisa Simpson
Lisa Marie Simpson is a fictional main character in the animated television series The Simpsons. She is the middle child of the Simpson family. Voiced by Yeardley Smith, Lisa first appeared on television in The Tracey Ullman Show short "Good Night" on April 19, 1987. Cartoonist Matt Groening...
board the Mayflower
Mayflower
The Mayflower was the ship that transported the English Separatists, better known as the Pilgrims, from a site near the Mayflower Steps in Plymouth, England, to Plymouth, Massachusetts, , in 1620...
to head for the new world, but just as they do, Homer
Homer Simpson
Homer Jay Simpson is a fictional character in the animated television series The Simpsons and the patriarch of the eponymous family. He is voiced by Dan Castellaneta and first appeared on television, along with the rest of his family, in The Tracey Ullman Show short "Good Night" on April 19, 1987...
runs ahead of them and hides in a barrel. They see the police (Lenny and Carl) looking for him (as he made the mistake of questioning why this era is called the Jacobean era
Jacobean era
The Jacobean era refers to the period in English and Scottish history that coincides with the reign of King James VI of Scotland, who also inherited the crown of England in 1603 as James I...
when the king is named James
James I of England
James VI and I was King of Scots as James VI from 24 July 1567 and King of England and Ireland as James I from the union of the English and Scottish crowns on 24 March 1603...
), and they take pity on him. Marge immediately grows on Homer, but Moe likes her as well (having gone as far as to kill her previous husband) and is instantly jealous of their friendship. To get Homer out of the way, Moe takes him down to the storage room where all the beer is held and tells him to drink whenever a wave hits the boat. He gets drunk, and Captain “Flandish
Myles Standish
Myles Standish was an English military officer hired by the Pilgrims as military advisor for Plymouth Colony. One of the Mayflower passengers, Standish played a leading role in the administration and defense of Plymouth Colony from its inception...
” (Flanders
Ned Flanders
Nedward "Ned" Flanders, Jr. is a recurring fictional character in the animated television series The Simpsons. He is voiced by Harry Shearer, and first appeared in the series premiere episode "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire". He is the next door neighbor to the Simpson family and is generally...
) and Reverend Lovejoy find him and other passengers partying.
Moe blames Homer, and they place him in a stock. A storm then approaches, and Captain Flandish becomes unconscious. Homer claims that he steers better when he is drunk, and while drinking a bottle of wine while still trapped in the stock and shirtless, he leads them safely out of the storm, and gets together with Marge. All members of the Mayflower meet the Wampanoag tribe, and Flandish thanks Great Chief Wig-Gum for all he has done for them, as he regrets for what they are going to do to them. Wiggum then asks what that is, and Flandish replies it is giving him the biggest piece of pumpkin pie
Pumpkin pie
Pumpkin pie is a traditional sweet dessert, often eaten during the fall and early winter, especially for Thanksgiving and Christmas in the United States and Canada. The pumpkin is a symbol of harvest time and featured also at Halloween....
, and mumbles that they are going to take their land and wipe them out.
The Whine-Bar Sea
The BountyHMS Bounty
HMS Bounty , famous as the scene of the Mutiny on the Bounty on 28 April 1789, was originally a three-masted cargo ship, the Bethia, purchased by the British Admiralty, then modified and commissioned as His Majesty's Armed Vessel the...
sets sail from England in 1789, commanded by Captain Bligh (Skinner
Seymour Skinner
Principal W. Seymour Skinner is a fictional character in the American animated sitcom The Simpsons. He is voiced by Harry Shearer. Born in Capitol City, he is the principal of Springfield Elementary School...
). During the first 718 days of the voyage, Bligh severely mistreats his crew, by not giving them water at last day in order to save water and tossing off their mail because they had drawn a picture of Bligh making out with a merman. Willie warns him of a mutiny
Mutiny on the Bounty
The mutiny on the Bounty was a mutiny that occurred aboard the British Royal Navy ship HMS Bounty on 28 April 1789, and has been commemorated by several books, films, and popular songs, many of which take considerable liberties with the facts. The mutiny was led by Fletcher Christian against the...
if he mistreats them too much, but Bligh ignores him. They arrive in Tahiti
Tahiti
Tahiti is the largest island in the Windward group of French Polynesia, located in the archipelago of the Society Islands in the southern Pacific Ocean. It is the economic, cultural and political centre of French Polynesia. The island was formed from volcanic activity and is high and mountainous...
, where Homer and Marge are the rulers of island and the crew has a wonderful time until it was time to leave. The crew wanted to stay at Tahiti, but Captain Bligh tells them that it was wonderful vacation but they must forget it and sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" in-a-round while working.
Eventually, Bligh continues abusing the crew more as they sing, and First Mate Bart Christian
Fletcher Christian
Fletcher Christian was a master's mate on board the Bounty during William Bligh's fateful voyage to Tahiti for breadfruit plants...
, who had enough of this, leads a mutiny with the help of the crew and sends Bligh and Willie off in a lifeboat
Lifeboat (shipboard)
A lifeboat is a small, rigid or inflatable watercraft carried for emergency evacuation in the event of a disaster aboard ship. In the military, a lifeboat may be referred to as a whaleboat, dinghy, or gig. The ship's tenders of cruise ships often double as lifeboats. Recreational sailors sometimes...
. Willie then berates Bligh for not listening to him in the first place, but that only makes Bligh more angry at Willie, challenging him as too much of a spineless coward to mutiny. In response, Willie forces Bligh off the lifeboat (proving that he is not a coward) and rows away while Bligh holds onto on a sea turtle
Sea turtle
Sea turtles are marine reptiles that inhabit all of the world's oceans except the Arctic.-Distribution:...
, who then submerges into the sea, with Skinner in tow after the latter taunts it. Bart, as the new Captain of the Bounty, orders the crews to set sail for Tahiti. Then he throws away the ship’s helm and they crash into Antarctica.
Watership D'ohn (aka, The Neptune Adventure)
Homer’s story takes place on the luxury linerOcean liner
An ocean liner is a ship designed to transport people from one seaport to another along regular long-distance maritime routes according to a schedule. Liners may also carry cargo or mail, and may sometimes be used for other purposes .Cargo vessels running to a schedule are sometimes referred to as...
Neptune on New Year’s Eve during the 1970s in a parody of The Poseidon Adventure. At midnight, Captain Burns fails to notice a massive freak wave
Freak wave
Rogue waves are relatively large and spontaneous ocean surface waves that occur far out in sea, and are a threat even to large ships and ocean liners...
which hits the bridge and kills him and First Officer Waylon Smithers
Waylon Smithers
Waylon Smithers, Jr., usually referred to as Smithers, is a recurring fictional character in the animated series The Simpsons, who is voiced by Harry Shearer. Smithers first appeared in the episode "Homer's Odyssey", although he could be heard in the series premiere "Simpsons Roasting on an Open...
and the ship capsizes. Led by Selma, survivors Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Lenny, Carl, Comic Book Guy, Old Jewish Man (and his wife), and Sideshow Mel ignore Purser
Purser
The purser joined the warrant officer ranks of the Royal Navy in the early fourteenth century and existed as a Naval rank until 1852. The development of the warrant officer system began in 1040 when five English ports began furnishing warships to King Edward the Confessor in exchange for certain...
Wiggum’s advice to stay put in the ballroom and decide to climb up the decks to the engine room
Engine room
On a ship, the engine room, or ER, commonly refers to the machinery spaces of a vessel. To increase the safety and damage survivability of a vessel, the machinery necessary for operations may be segregated into various spaces, the engine room is one of these spaces, and is generally the largest...
. While climbing up through the smokestack, Lenny panics and takes a dive.
They encounter rooms in flame, tigers, and Homer doing his business in an upside-down bathroom, knowing that he has great "ass-suction". Comic Book Guy swims through a flooded deck to help the others get to the engine room, but he has a heart attack
Myocardial infarction
Myocardial infarction or acute myocardial infarction , commonly known as a heart attack, results from the interruption of blood supply to a part of the heart, causing heart cells to die...
and dies. The group makes it to the engine room, but Sideshow Mel’s hair is set on fire because of a blowtorch
Oxy-fuel welding and cutting
Oxy-fuel welding and oxy-fuel cutting are processes that use fuel gases and oxygen to weld and cut metals, respectively. French engineers Edmond Fouché and Charles Picard became the first to develop oxygen-acetylene welding in 1903...
from the rescue team and he falls unconscious. The rest of the original group makes it off the ship, at which point they encounter the walking skeletons
Skeleton (undead)
A Skeleton is a type of physically manifested undead often found in fantasy, gothic and horror fiction, and mythical art. Most are human skeletons, but they can also be from any creature or race found on Earth or in the fantasy world.- Myth and folklore :...
of the Bounty crew who are still trying to get back to Tahiti
Tahiti
Tahiti is the largest island in the Windward group of French Polynesia, located in the archipelago of the Society Islands in the southern Pacific Ocean. It is the economic, cultural and political centre of French Polynesia. The island was formed from volcanic activity and is high and mountainous...
. In a moment of Fourth Wall
Fourth wall
The fourth wall is the imaginary "wall" at the front of the stage in a traditional three-walled box set in a proscenium theatre, through which the audience sees the action in the world of the play...
breaking, Jimbo chastises Bart for being a so incompetent capitan to the point of invade another person's story, but Bart retorts that, at least, he's still trying to go back to Tahiti and get some girls there, unlike Kearney and Dolph which became gay mates (actually their ribs got stuck in each other, but Bart refuses to acknowledge it.).