Banned From Argo
Encyclopedia
"Banned From Argo" is a filk
song written and originally recorded by Leslie Fish
, released in 1977 on the album Solar Sailors, and later as part of various compilations (Star Trek Comedy: The Unofficial Album; Dr. Demento
's Hits From Outer Space, etc.) It won the 2003 Pegasus Award for Best Classic Filk Song.
. Though no character is mentioned by name, they are identified by their shipboard title/duties and certain characteristics (such as Captain Kirk
's sexual escapades or Scotty
's taste for alcohol), and are stated to be a Starfleet
crew in the final verse. The framework of the song's "story" is the starship crew's stop at "Argo Port" for shore leave
, where their antics result in chaos and destruction, prompting the planet's government to ban them from returning, as stated in the chorus:
And we're banned from Argo, every one.
Banned from Argo, just for having a little fun.
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four,
But Argo doesn't want us anymore.
(The final chorus adds a faux-innocent "Wonder why?" to end the song.)
In the original recording, the song is played in a bluegrass
style, with guitars and banjos as the only musical accompaniment. It follows a pattern of single verse followed by single chorus, with an instrumental interlude, the length of one verse and chorus together, between the second-to-last chorus and the final verse. The tune to the single verse is "The Boston Burglar".
The original version of the song prior to recording referenced Klingons in place of pirates in the eighth verse, but was altered for recording. Since Pon Farr
and Starfleet
are both mentioned in the recording lyrics, the removal does little to mask the song's origins.
Once "released into the wild" it was rapidly adopted and expanded upon, with verses referencing various other characters, ships, cultures and so on from the Star Trek universe, with several hundred verses known to have been written worldwide. As a result, the song has become so long and unwieldy that it is rarely heard except when a new verse has been written, at which time only the original verses will be sung, with the new verse inserted ahead of the final "apologetic" verse (which has always retained its place at the end of the song).
The song has inspired enough filks and parodies to fill two dedicated collections. The Bastard Children of Argo, a collection of parodies, by various authors, published by Random Factors in 2001, contains 78 songs, plus several versions of the original provided by Fish. The Bastard Grandchildren of Argo was issue #83 of the bimonthly filk magazine Xenofilkia, from July 2002, containing 25 songs There have been other filks and parodies of BFA not contained in these collections.
Filk music
Filk is a musical culture, genre, and community tied to science fiction/fantasy fandom and a type of fan labor. The genre has been active since the early 1950s, and played primarily since the mid-1970s. The term predates 1955.-Definitions:As the Interfilk What Is Filk page demonstrates, there is...
song written and originally recorded by Leslie Fish
Leslie Fish
Leslie Fish is a filk musician, author, and anarchist political activist.-Music:Along with The DeHorn Crew, in 1976 she created the first commercial filk recording, Folk Songs for Folk Who Ain't Even Been Yet...
, released in 1977 on the album Solar Sailors, and later as part of various compilations (Star Trek Comedy: The Unofficial Album; Dr. Demento
Dr. Demento
Barret Eugene Hansen , better known as Dr. Demento, is a radio broadcaster and record collector specializing in novelty songs, comedy, and strange or unusual recordings dating from the early days of phonograph records to the present....
's Hits From Outer Space, etc.) It won the 2003 Pegasus Award for Best Classic Filk Song.
Structure and style
The song pokes fun at the conventions and characters of the original Star Trek television seriesStar Trek: The Original Series
Star Trek is an American science fiction television series created by Gene Roddenberry, produced by Desilu Productions . Star Trek was telecast on NBC from September 8, 1966, through June 3, 1969...
. Though no character is mentioned by name, they are identified by their shipboard title/duties and certain characteristics (such as Captain Kirk
James T. Kirk
James Tiberius "Jim" Kirk is a character in the Star Trek media franchise. Kirk was first played by William Shatner as the principal lead character in the original Star Trek series. Shatner voiced Kirk in the animated Star Trek series and appeared in the first seven Star Trek movies...
's sexual escapades or Scotty
Montgomery Scott
Montgomery "Scotty" Scott is a Scottish engineer in the Star Trek media franchise. First portrayed by James Doohan in the original Star Trek series, Scotty also appears in the animated Star Trek series, seven Star Trek movies, the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Relics", and in numerous...
's taste for alcohol), and are stated to be a Starfleet
Starfleet
In the fictional universe of Star Trek, Starfleet or the Federation Starfleet is the deep-space exploratory, peacekeeping and military service maintained by the United Federation of Planets . It is the principal means by which the Federation conducts its exploration, defense, diplomacy and research...
crew in the final verse. The framework of the song's "story" is the starship crew's stop at "Argo Port" for shore leave
Shore leave
Shore leave is the leave that professional sailors get to spend on dry land. It is culturally infamous for its excess. Sailors without family obligations and with basic lodging needs provided aboard ship may spend their wages for the journey in a brief period of extravagance ashore and return to...
, where their antics result in chaos and destruction, prompting the planet's government to ban them from returning, as stated in the chorus:
And we're banned from Argo, every one.
Banned from Argo, just for having a little fun.
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four,
But Argo doesn't want us anymore.
(The final chorus adds a faux-innocent "Wonder why?" to end the song.)
In the original recording, the song is played in a bluegrass
Bluegrass music
Bluegrass music is a form of American roots music, and a sub-genre of country music. It has mixed roots in Scottish, English, Welsh and Irish traditional music...
style, with guitars and banjos as the only musical accompaniment. It follows a pattern of single verse followed by single chorus, with an instrumental interlude, the length of one verse and chorus together, between the second-to-last chorus and the final verse. The tune to the single verse is "The Boston Burglar".
The original version of the song prior to recording referenced Klingons in place of pirates in the eighth verse, but was altered for recording. Since Pon Farr
Pon farr
Pon farr is a term used in the fictional Star Trek canonical TV series. In Star Trek, pon farr is a psychophysical condition affecting Vulcans, in which Vulcan males and females go into heat every seven years, going into a blood fever, becoming violent, and finally dying if they do not mate with...
and Starfleet
Starfleet
In the fictional universe of Star Trek, Starfleet or the Federation Starfleet is the deep-space exploratory, peacekeeping and military service maintained by the United Federation of Planets . It is the principal means by which the Federation conducts its exploration, defense, diplomacy and research...
are both mentioned in the recording lyrics, the removal does little to mask the song's origins.
Plotline
The crew's escapades in the song include (in order of appearance):- "The Captain" (James T. KirkJames T. KirkJames Tiberius "Jim" Kirk is a character in the Star Trek media franchise. Kirk was first played by William Shatner as the principal lead character in the original Star Trek series. Shatner voiced Kirk in the animated Star Trek series and appeared in the first seven Star Trek movies...
) indulging his sexual appetites with "five partners, each of a different world and sex", requiring an escape by transporterTransporter (Star Trek)A transporter is a fictional teleportation machine used in the Star Trek universe. Transporters convert a person or object into an energy pattern , then "beam" it to a target, where it is reconverted into matter...
to prevent his arrest by the "shore police"Shore patrolShore patrol are service members that are provided to aid in security for the U.S. Navy, United States Coast Guard, United States Marine Corps, and the British Royal Navy while on shore...
. - The "Engineer" (Montgomery "Scotty" ScottMontgomery ScottMontgomery "Scotty" Scott is a Scottish engineer in the Star Trek media franchise. First portrayed by James Doohan in the original Star Trek series, Scotty also appears in the animated Star Trek series, seven Star Trek movies, the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Relics", and in numerous...
) and "Navigator" (Pavel ChekovPavel ChekovPavel Andreievich Chekov is a Russian Starfleet officer in the Star Trek fictional universe. Walter Koenig portrayed Chekov in the original Star Trek series and first seven Star Trek films; Anton Yelchin portrayed the character in the 2009 film Star Trek.-Origin:Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry...
) engaging in a drinking contest, with the Engineer winning and the Navigator beating "almost all". The pair then drunkenly leave a shuttlecraftShuttlecraft (Star Trek)In the Star Trek fictional universe, a shuttlecraft is a small auxiliary spaceship carried by the larger craft such as the Enterprise. Shuttlecraft were documented in the writer's guide for the series in 1966 and first appeared in the episode The Galileo Seven. Galileo was the name of the...
parked on top of a government building. - The "proper, cool First Officer" (Mr. SpockSpockSpock is a fictional character in the Star Trek media franchise. First portrayed by Leonard Nimoy in the original Star Trek series, Spock also appears in the animated Star Trek series, two episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, seven of the Star Trek feature films, and numerous Star Trek...
) being drugged "with something green" and assaulted in an alley, said to have "suffered things obscene". He seems to make a full recovery, but then proceeds to teach the ship's computer to speak profanityProfanityProfanity is a show of disrespect, or a desecration or debasement of someone or something. Profanity can take the form of words, expressions, gestures, or other social behaviors that are socially constructed or interpreted as insulting, rude, vulgar, obscene, desecrating, or other forms.The...
. - "The Head Nurse" (Christine ChapelChristine ChapelChristine Chapel is a fictional character in the original Star Trek series, and in some of the films based on it. She was played by the late Majel Barrett....
) acquiring "an odd green potion guaranteed to cause Pon farrPon farrPon farr is a term used in the fictional Star Trek canonical TV series. In Star Trek, pon farr is a psychophysical condition affecting Vulcans, in which Vulcan males and females go into heat every seven years, going into a blood fever, becoming violent, and finally dying if they do not mate with...
", the uncontrollable VulcanVulcan (Star Trek)Vulcans, or sometimes Vulcanians, are an extraterrestrial humanoid species in the Star Trek universe who evolved on the planet Vulcan, and are noted for their attempt to live by reason and logic with no interference from emotion. They were the first extraterrestrial species in the Star Trek...
mating urge (a reference to Chapel's romantic interest in Mr. Spock, and quite likely the explanation of what happened to Spock in the previous verse). She returns to the ship happy, but without her uniform and walking in a painful manner "with her feet a yard apart". - "Our lady of Communications" (UhuraUhuraNyota Uhura is a character in Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Animated Series, the first six Star Trek films, and the 2009 film Star Trek...
) wins "a shipwide bet" by altering Argo's planetary communication system so that video transmissions viewed on Argo will make all people on the screen appear to be nude. - The "Doctor" (Leonard "Bones" McCoyLeonard McCoyLeonard "Bones" McCoy is a character in the Star Trek media franchise. First portrayed by DeForest Kelley in the original Star Trek series, McCoy also appears in the animated Star Trek series, seven Star Trek movies, the pilot episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and in numerous books,...
) is arrested for "inciting whores to riot", and has to be transported out of jail, "intact except for hickies and six kinds of VDSexually transmitted diseaseSexually transmitted disease , also known as a sexually transmitted infection or venereal disease , is an illness that has a significant probability of transmission between humans by means of human sexual behavior, including vaginal intercourse, oral sex, and anal sex...
". - The "Helmsman" (Hikaru SuluHikaru SuluHikaru Sulu is a character in the Star Trek media franchise. First portrayed by George Takei in the original Star Trek series, Sulu also appears in the animated Star Trek series, the first six Star Trek movies, one episode of Star Trek: Voyager, and in numerous books, comics, and video games...
) brings some exotic plants with him on shore leave; the ship later receives a transmission from Argo's planetary governor, who claims that "a gang of plants entwined his house and then seduced his wife". - When a gang of space pirates lands on Argo and witnesses the Starfleet crew at play, the pirates flee the planet rather than be drawn into the debauchery.
- After the instrumental break, the final verse states the crew's pride for being "Starfleet's finest" and for leaving "a trail a mile wide" when they're on leave. There is also a quick apology to the inhabitants of Argo for the effects of their "play", and a note that Argo won't be forgetting this starship crew anytime soon.
Further development and derivatives
The song is so well known among filkers that its title is commonly abbreviated to "BFA".Once "released into the wild" it was rapidly adopted and expanded upon, with verses referencing various other characters, ships, cultures and so on from the Star Trek universe, with several hundred verses known to have been written worldwide. As a result, the song has become so long and unwieldy that it is rarely heard except when a new verse has been written, at which time only the original verses will be sung, with the new verse inserted ahead of the final "apologetic" verse (which has always retained its place at the end of the song).
The song has inspired enough filks and parodies to fill two dedicated collections. The Bastard Children of Argo, a collection of parodies, by various authors, published by Random Factors in 2001, contains 78 songs, plus several versions of the original provided by Fish. The Bastard Grandchildren of Argo was issue #83 of the bimonthly filk magazine Xenofilkia, from July 2002, containing 25 songs There have been other filks and parodies of BFA not contained in these collections.