(last words in the film) Merry Christmas, Alfred. Good will towards men... and women.

(When the Batmobile doesn't compact like it should) Alright, now I'm a little worried.

(responding to Alfred's comment about "security" when repairing the Batmobile) Security? Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave? I'm sitting there working. I turn around, there she is. (sarcasticallly) "Oh, hi Vick. Come on in!"

[To Max] Hi. [Max gasps] I believe the word you're looking for is... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHH!!! Actually... this is all just a bad dream. You're home in bed. Heavily sedated, resting comfortably... and dying from the noxious pollutants you've personally spewed in a lifetime of profiteering. Tragic irony, or poetic justice? You tell me.

Odd as it may seem, Max, you and I have something in common. We're both perceived as monsters. But somehow, you're a well-respected monster, and I am... to date... not!

[about his parents] I just want to know... why they did what they felt they had to do... to a child who was born... a little different. A child... who spent his first Christmas - and many since - in a sewer...

A penguin is a bird that cannot fly! I am a man. I have a name. [pauses] ... Oswald Cobblepot!

[After visiting his parents' grave] I was their number one son, and they treated me like number two! But it's human nature to fear the unusual. I guess when I reached out to them with a shiny flipper, instead of five chubby digits... they freaked.

[to Batman, after they both encounter Catwoman] I saw her first. Gotta fly!

[to a crowd of voters] I may have saved the mayor's baby, but I refuse to save a mayor who stood by, helpless as a baby, while Gotham City was ravaged by a disease that turned eagle-scouts into crazed clowns and happy homemakers into catwomen!