Bengali wedding
Encyclopedia
Islam
Islam . The most common are and . : Arabic pronunciation varies regionally. The first vowel ranges from ~~. The second vowel ranges from ~~~...
and Hindu
Hinduism
Hinduism is the predominant and indigenous religious tradition of the Indian Subcontinent. Hinduism is known to its followers as , amongst many other expressions...
marriages have their distinctive religious rituals, there are many common Bengali rituals in weddings across both West Bengal
West Bengal
West Bengal is a state in the eastern region of India and is the nation's fourth-most populous. It is also the seventh-most populous sub-national entity in the world, with over 91 million inhabitants. A major agricultural producer, West Bengal is the sixth-largest contributor to India's GDP...
and Bangladesh
Bangladesh
Bangladesh , officially the People's Republic of Bangladesh is a sovereign state located in South Asia. It is bordered by India on all sides except for a small border with Burma to the far southeast and by the Bay of Bengal to the south...
.
Arranging the wedding
A traditional wedding is arrangedArranged marriage
An arranged marriage is a practice in which someone other than the couple getting married makes the selection of the persons to be wed, meanwhile curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship. Such marriages had deep roots in royal and aristocratic families around the world...
by Ghotoks (matchmakers), who are generally friends or relatives of the couple. The matchmakers facilitate the introduction, and also help agree the amount of any settlement.
In Muslim marriages another settlement to make which is called 'Mahr
Mahr
In Islam, mahr is an amount of money paid by the groom to the bride at the time of marriage which she can spend as she wishes. The English concept of "dower", the gift of funds to the wife in the event she becomes widowed, closely approximates mahr. The terms "dowry" and "bride price" are...
' or 'Kabin' to be paid by the groom to the bride
Bride
A bride is a woman about to be married or newlywed.The word may come from the Proto-Germanic verb root *brū-, meaning 'to cook, brew, or make a broth' which was the role of the daughter-in-law in primitive families...
- which is a religious requirement.
Bengali weddings are traditionally in four parts: the bride's gaye holud, the groom's gaye holud, the wedding ceremony, and the reception. These often take place on separate days. The first event in a wedding is an informal one: the groom presents the bride with a ring marking the "engagement" which is gaining popularity. This can sometimes be considered as Ashirwaad.
A Bengali Hindu Marriage can be divided into the following parts:
- Pre-wedding Rituals: Adan Pradan, Patri Patra, Ashirvad, Aai Budo Bhaat, Vridhi, Dodhi Mangal, Holud Kota, Adhibas Tatva, Kubi Patta, Snan, Saankha Porano
- Wedding Rituals: Bor Boron, Potto Bastra, Saat Paak, Mala Badal, Subho Drishti, Sampradan, Yagna, Saat Pak (couple), Anjali, Sindur Daan and Ghomta
- Post-Wedding Rituals: Bashar Ghar, Bashi Biye, Bidaye, Bou Boron, Kaal Ratri, Bou Bhaat, Phool Sajja, Dwira Gaman
Turmeric ceremony
The turmeric ceremonies or gaye holud ( gaee holud, lit. "yellowing the body") take place before the wedding ceremony. There is one turmeric ceremony for the bride and one for the groom. For the bride's gaye holud, the groom's family - except the groom himself - go in procession to the bride's home. They carry with them the bride's wedding outfit, wedding decoration including turmeric paste and hennaHenna
Henna is a flowering plant used since antiquity to dye skin, hair, fingernails, leather and wool. The name is also used for dye preparations derived from the plant, and for the art of temporary tattooing based on those dyes...
, sweetmeats and gifts. They also take two large fish decorated as a groom and bride. There are local variations on this tradition, such as the number of fish, the party responsible for cooking the fish and time the fish is taken to the groom's family.
The procession traditionally centers on the (younger) female relative and friends of bride, and they are traditionally all in matching clothes, mostly orange
Orange (colour)
The colour orange occurs between red and yellow in the visible spectrum at a wavelength of about 585–620 nm, and has a hue of 30° in HSV colour space. It is numerically halfway between red and yellow in a gamma-compressed RGB colour space, the expression of which is the RGB colour wheel. The...
in colour. The bride is seated on a dais, and the henna
Henna
Henna is a flowering plant used since antiquity to dye skin, hair, fingernails, leather and wool. The name is also used for dye preparations derived from the plant, and for the art of temporary tattooing based on those dyes...
is used to decorate the bride's hands and feet with elaborate abstract designs. The turmeric paste is applied by the bride's friends to her body. This is said to soften the skin
Skin
-Dermis:The dermis is the layer of skin beneath the epidermis that consists of connective tissue and cushions the body from stress and strain. The dermis is tightly connected to the epidermis by a basement membrane. It also harbors many Mechanoreceptors that provide the sense of touch and heat...
, but also colours her with the distinctive yellow
Yellow
Yellow is the color evoked by light that stimulates both the L and M cone cells of the retina about equally, with no significant stimulation of the S cone cells. Light with a wavelength of 570–590 nm is yellow, as is light with a suitable mixture of red and green...
hue that gives its name to this ceremony. The sweets
SweetS
was a Japanese idol group. Put together through auditions, the group debuted in 2003 on the avex trax label. Although the group met minor success, they disbanded after three years with the release of a final single in June 2006....
are then fed to the bride by all involved, piece by piece. There is, of course, a feast for the guests. The groom's gaye holud comes next, and has the same form as the bridal ceremony.
Wedding ceremony
The wedding ceremony ( bibaho/bie) follows the gaye holud ceremonies. As the wedding ceremony is arranged by the bride's family, much of the traditions revolve around embarrassing the groom. The groom, along with his friends and family, traditionally arrive later than the bride's side. As they arrive, the younger members of the bride's family barricade the entrance to the venue, demanding money from the groom in return for allowing him to enter. There is a bargaining between groom and the bride's family members on the amount of moneyMoney
Money is any object or record that is generally accepted as payment for goods and services and repayment of debts in a given country or socio-economic context. The main functions of money are distinguished as: a medium of exchange; a unit of account; a store of value; and, occasionally in the past,...
of the admission
Admission to an event or establishment
Admission to a journey or other event or establishment may be subject to paying an entrance fee / buying a ticket. A pass may give admittance without a ticket for a given time period, or give the right to obtain free tickets. A discount pass allows buying tickets at a reduced price...
. There is typically much good-natured pushing and shoving involved. Another custom
Norm (sociology)
Social norms are the accepted behaviors within a society or group. This sociological and social psychological term has been defined as "the rules that a group uses for appropriate and inappropriate values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. These rules may be explicit or implicit...
is for the bride's younger siblings, friends, and cousins to conceal the groom's shoes for money; to get them back the groom must usually pay off the children. Siblings, friends and cousins also play many practical jokes on the groom.
For a Hindu wedding, a priest asks the couple to chant mantra
Mantra
A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation"...
s from the holy texts that formalises the following:
- Kanya sampradaan ( konnasomprodan lit. "giving the bride"): the ceremonial giving away of the bride by the father of the bride
- Saat Paake Ghora (The couple walks round the ceremonial fire seven times. See SaptapadiSaptapadiSaptapadi is the most important rite of a Hindu marriage ceremony. The word, Saptapadi means "Seven steps"...
, .)'
For a Muslim wedding, the bride and groom are seated separately, and a kazi (person authorized by the government to perform the wedding), accompanied by the parents and a witness
Witness
A witness is someone who has firsthand knowledge about an event, or in the criminal justice systems usually a crime, through his or her senses and can help certify important considerations about the crime or event. A witness who has seen the event first hand is known as an eyewitness...
( wakil) from each side formally asks the bride for her consent to the union, and then the groom for his.
At this time, for Muslim weddings, the amount of the dowry
Dowry
A dowry is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings forth to the marriage. It contrasts with bride price, which is paid to the bride's parents, and dower, which is property settled on the bride herself by the groom at the time of marriage. The same culture may simultaneously practice both...
or mahr
Mahr
In Islam, mahr is an amount of money paid by the groom to the bride at the time of marriage which she can spend as she wishes. The English concept of "dower", the gift of funds to the wife in the event she becomes widowed, closely approximates mahr. The terms "dowry" and "bride price" are...
is verified, and if all is well, the formal papers are signed, and the couple are seated side by side on a dais
Dais
Dais is any raised platform located either in or outside of a room or enclosure, often for dignified occupancy, as at the front of a lecture hall or sanctuary....
. The bride's veil ( orna/ghomṭa) is draped over both the bride and groom, and a mirror is placed in front of them. The groom is then supposed to say something romantic on what he sees in the mirror—notionally the first time he has laid eyes on his bride. A traditional answer is to say that he has seen the moon. The bride and groom then feed each other sweets, while the bride's family members try to push the groom's face into the food. All the guests then celebrate the union with a feast.
In Hindu marriages on the day of the marriage (after wedding ceremony is over), close friends and relatives remain awake for the entire night. This is called the Basor Raat. Generally the day on which wedding is held Basor Raat starts after midnight if the wedding ceremony is over by evening. Most Hindu Bengali marriages happen in the evening. The next day, preferably before noon, the couple make their way from the venue to the groom's home, where a bridal room has been prepared.
Reception
The receptionWedding reception
A wedding reception is a party held after the completion of a marriage ceremony. It is held usually as hospitality for those who have attended the wedding, hence the name reception: the couple receives society, in the form of family and friends, for the first time as a married couple. Hosts...
, also known as the bou bhat ( lit. "bride feast") or walima among Muslims, is a party
Party
A party is a gathering of people who have been invited by a host for the purposes of socializing, conversation, or recreation. A party will typically feature food and beverages, and often music and dancing as well....
given by the groom's family in return for the wedding ceremony. It is generally a much more relaxed affair, with only the second-best wedding outfit being worn.
Unlike in the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom act as a couple at the reception; the bride and groom arrive together, receive and see off guests together, and dine together. After the party, the bride and groom go to the bride's family house for two nights. On the second day, the bride's family are invited to the groom's house for a meal, and they leave with the bride and groom. This meal is called firani.
Flower bed ceremony
In the flower bed ceremony ( ful shôjja, lit. "flower bed"), the bride wears a lot of floral ornaments and their marriage bed is decorated with flowers by the groom's family. This is the night of consummationConsummate
Consummation or consummation of a marriage, in many traditions and statutes of civil or religious law, is the first act of sexual intercourse between two individuals, following their marriage to each other...
. In Muslim marriages, this takes place on the night of the wedding. In Hindu marriages, this takes place on the night of the reception.
See also
- Bengali Hindu weddingBengali Hindu wedding-Arranging the wedding:A traditional wedding is arranged by Ghotoks , who are generally friends or relatives of the couple. The matchmakers facilitate the introduction, and also help agree the amount of any settlement....
- Gaye HoludGaye HoludGaye holud is a ceremony observed mostly in the region of Bengal . It is part of an elaborate series of celebrations constituting the Bengali wedding. The gaye holud takes place one or two days prior to the religious and legal Bengali wedding ceremonies...
- Culture of BangladeshCulture of BangladeshBangladesh has a long history in its culture. The land, the rivers, and the lives of the common people formed a rich heritage with marked differences from neighbouring regions. It has evolved over the centuries and encompasses the cultural diversity of several social groups of Bangladesh...
- Culture of West BengalCulture of West BengalThe culture of West Bengal is an Indian Culture which has its roots in the Bengali literature, music, fine arts, drama and cinema. People of West Bengal share their cultural heritage with the neighbouring Bangladesh . West Bengal has a long tradition of popular literature, music and drama largely...