Wedding reception
Encyclopedia
Party
A party is a gathering of people who have been invited by a host for the purposes of socializing, conversation, or recreation. A party will typically feature food and beverages, and often music and dancing as well....
held after the completion of a marriage
Marriage
Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found...
ceremony. It is held usually as hospitality for those who have attended the wedding
Wedding
A wedding is the ceremony in which two people are united in marriage or a similar institution. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes...
, hence the name reception: the couple receives society, in the form of family and friends, for the first time as a married couple. Hosts provide their choice of food and drink, although a wedding cake
Wedding cake
A wedding cake is the traditional cake served to the guests at a wedding reception after a wedding. In modern Western culture, it is usually a large cake, multi-layered or tiered, and heavily decorated with icing, usually over a layer of marzipan or fondant...
is popular. Entertaining guests after a wedding ceremony is traditional in most societies, and can last anywhere from half an hour to many hours or even days.
Before receptions—a social event that is structured around a receiving line, and usually held in the afternoon, with only light refreshments—became popular, weddings were more typically celebrated with wedding breakfasts
Brunch
Brunch is a meal eaten between breakfast and lunch. The word is a portmanteau of breakfast and lunch.-Origin of the word:The 1896 supplement to the Oxford English Dictionary cites Punch magazine which wrote that the term was coined in Britain in 1895 to describe a Sunday meal for "Saturday-night...
(for those whose religious traditions encouraged morning weddings) and wedding balls
Ball (dance)
A ball is a formal dance. The word 'ball' is derived from the Latin word "ballare", meaning 'to dance'; the term also derived into "bailar", which is the Spanish and Portuguese word for dance . In Catalan it is the same word, 'ball', for the dance event.Attendees wear evening attire, which is...
(for those who were married in the evening). The popularity of receptions, rather than breakfasts, dinners, and balls, during the 20th century led to the name reception being applied to any social event after a wedding, whether it is brunch, tea, dinner, or a dance.
Location
Until after World War II, wedding celebrations were most commonly held in the bride's home, in whatever style of entertainment was within the means of the family. This might be a grand ballBall (dance)
A ball is a formal dance. The word 'ball' is derived from the Latin word "ballare", meaning 'to dance'; the term also derived into "bailar", which is the Spanish and Portuguese word for dance . In Catalan it is the same word, 'ball', for the dance event.Attendees wear evening attire, which is...
for a wealthy family, a luncheon for middle-class families, or an afternoon tea, featuring cake and lemonade, for working-class families. The choice depended primarily on the family's economic situation, and in some cases, mass weddings were favored as a way to share costs. At the beginning of the 20th century, dance hall
Dance hall
Dance hall in its general meaning is a hall for dancing. From the earliest years of the twentieth century until the early 1960s, the dance hall was the popular forerunner of the discothèque or nightclub...
s became common, and were rented by those planning a celebration beyond what their homes could hold. Typical locations for wedding celebrations now include hotel ballrooms, community halls, social halls at the church or other sacred place where the wedding ceremony took place, and, particularly for smaller weddings, restaurants and garden parties at home. There are also many small businesses that specialize in providing places for wedding ceremonies and celebrations.
Receiving line
Technically, to be a reception, instead of some other form of entertainment, guests must be greeted with a receiving line. In a receiving line, the wedding party, including the bridal couple, their parents, and any honor attendants, stand in order of precedence
Order of precedence
An order of precedence is a sequential hierarchy of nominal importance of items. Most often it is used in the context of people by many organizations and governments...
and greet every guest in turn. Each guest greets the first (lowest precedence) person in the line and, if necessary, introduces himself. The first person then introduces the guest to the next person in the line, and turns to the next guest. As each guest properly speaks little more than his name (if necessary) and conventional greetings or congratulations to each person in turn, the line progresses steadily without unnecessary delays.
After formally receiving each guest in this fashion, the members of the bridal party can mingle with guests, eat, and enjoy more extended conversations.
Grand entrance
Another option, popular on the West Coast of the United States, is having a grand entrance instead of a receiving line. The grand entrance might involve presenting the some or all of the wedding party, the parents, and/or the bride and groom.The wedding party is usually introduced by a master of ceremonies
Master of Ceremonies
A Master of Ceremonies , or compere, is the host of a staged event or similar performance.An MC usually presents performers, speaks to the audience, and generally keeps the event moving....
, disc jockey
Disc jockey
A disc jockey, also known as DJ, is a person who selects and plays recorded music for an audience. Originally, "disc" referred to phonograph records, not the later Compact Discs. Today, the term includes all forms of music playback, no matter the medium.There are several types of disc jockeys...
, or band leader. It may be done in the same manner as they walked down the aisle during the wedding ceremony. This is generally much faster than a receiving line and guests may be seated before the arrival of the wedding party. In addition, it can be an event in itself and be as entertaining as wished. Introductions may be accompanied by music and information about each person to introduce them to the guests. However, unlike a reception line, it does not give the guests an opportunity to speak to any of the people being presented.
Food
The food served at a wedding reception is determined by the time of the wedding and local custom. Food may range from a single non-alcoholic drink with wedding cakeWedding cake
A wedding cake is the traditional cake served to the guests at a wedding reception after a wedding. In modern Western culture, it is usually a large cake, multi-layered or tiered, and heavily decorated with icing, usually over a layer of marzipan or fondant...
to elaborate, multi-course dinners. The type of food is chosen entirely at the discretion of the hosts.
Some receptions, especially if the family's culture or religious faith prohibits alcohol or dancing, focus on dessert. Hosts may also choose to honor regional or local customs, such as by serving a culturally important cake like croquembouche
Croquembouche
A croquembouche or croque-en-bouche is a French pastry, a pièce montée that is often served at weddings, baptisms, and first communions. It is a high cone of choux filled with pastry cream that can be dipped in chocolate bound with caramel, and usually decorated with threads of caramel, sugared...
in France rather than a white layer cake
Layer cake
A layer cake is a cake consisting of multiple layers, usually held together by frosting or another type of filling, such as jam or other preserves. Most cake recipes can be made into layer cakes; butter cakes and sponge cakes are common choices...
, or by adding local specialties. For example, weddings in Pittsburgh often feature thousands of homemade cookies in addition to a wedding cake.
The wedding cake
Wedding cake
A wedding cake is the traditional cake served to the guests at a wedding reception after a wedding. In modern Western culture, it is usually a large cake, multi-layered or tiered, and heavily decorated with icing, usually over a layer of marzipan or fondant...
is often a multi-tiered layer cake
Layer cake
A layer cake is a cake consisting of multiple layers, usually held together by frosting or another type of filling, such as jam or other preserves. Most cake recipes can be made into layer cakes; butter cakes and sponge cakes are common choices...
that is elaborately decorated with white frosting. Some couples have a smaller display cake, which is supplemented by sheet cake
Sheet cake
A sheet cake is a cake baked in a large, flat rectangular pan such as a sheet pan or a jelly roll pan. These single-layer cakes are almost always frosted, and may be decorated on the flat surface on the top...
.
The groom's cake
Groom's cake
In the United States, a groom's cake is a wedding tradition typically associated with the American South. While a wedding cake may often be decorated in white and light in texture and/or color, the groom's cake can take a variety of forms, many incorporating chocolate or fruit. Cheesecake...
is a tradition observed mainly in the southern United States. In the Colonial and Victorian eras, the white-iced bride's cake was considered "too light" for male tastes, and a second cake choice—usually a dark, liquor-soaked fruitcake—was also offered. Today, chocolate is popular, although the groom's cake may be in any flavor and is usually shaped or decorated as something significant to the groom, such as a favorite hobby or sport.
If a full meal is served, the wedding cake is usually served after the meal. Otherwise, the cake may be served as soon as the family has received all of the guests.
Commonly, the couple ceremonially cut the first piece of the cake, and in a nod to an ancient Roman wedding rite
Confarreatio
In ancient Rome, confarreatio was a traditional patrician form of marriage. The ceremony involved the bride and bridegroom sharing a cake of spelt, in Latin far or panis farreus, hence the rite's name. The Flamen Dialis and Pontifex Maximus presided over the wedding, and ten witnesses had to be...
, may feed a bite to one another and perhaps sip a glass of wine or other drink with linked arms. Then the cake is served to the guests. Like being asked to pour tea at a formal tea party, being asked to serve the cake is generally considered an honor.
Toasts
In most WesternWestern culture
Western culture, sometimes equated with Western civilization or European civilization, refers to cultures of European origin and is used very broadly to refer to a heritage of social norms, ethical values, traditional customs, religious beliefs, political systems, and specific artifacts and...
countries, either before or after food is served, toasts are made by the wedding party, wishing the couple well. Commonly, toasts are proposed by the bride
Bride
A bride is a woman about to be married or newlywed.The word may come from the Proto-Germanic verb root *brū-, meaning 'to cook, brew, or make a broth' which was the role of the daughter-in-law in primitive families...
's father, the groom, the best man, and/or the maid of honor.
A new trend involves the addition of a DVD slideshow or photo montage video, featuring pictures of the new spouses growing up and meeting. These are created using home movies
Home movies
A home movie is part of the motion picture filmmaking process made by amateurs, often for viewing by family and friends. When the hobby began, home movies were produced on photographic film, but accessibility of video production with video cameras and low cost data storage devices has made the...
and photos taken over the couple's life, edited and set to music. The montage is shown either on a large TV or monitor or with an LCD projector
LCD projector
An LCD projector is a type of video projector for displaying video, images or computer data on a screen or other flat surface. It is a modern equivalent of the slide projector or overhead projector...
.
Dances
If there is dancing at the celebrations after the wedding, the newly married couple typically open the dancing with their first danceFirst dance
The first dance is an element in a number of traditions, being an opening of a certain dance function: ball, prom, etc.-Balls:In the context of balls, the term "first dance" has two meanings....
. When waltz
Waltz
The waltz is a ballroom and folk dance in time, performed primarily in closed position.- History :There are several references to a sliding or gliding dance,- a waltz, from the 16th century including the representations of the printer H.S. Beheim...
ing was popular, it was sometimes called a bridal waltz, although other dance styles are more commonly used now. The style of dancing depends on the nature of the music chosen. Fox trot, two-step
Two-step (dance move)
The two-step is a step found in many folk dances, and in various other dances. It seems to take its name from the 19th century dance related to the Polka....
, or rumba
Rumba
Rumba is a family of percussive rhythms, song and dance that originated in Cuba as a combination of the musical traditions of Africans brought to Cuba as slaves and Spanish colonizers. The name derives from the Cuban Spanish word rumbo which means "party" or "spree". It is secular, with no...
match most four-count pop ballads. While most contemporary Western couples select a romantic song and a relatively formal dance style, some couples choose to perform humorous choreographed dances.
Traditionally, shortly after the dance begins, guests would promptly join in the dancing, in order of precedence
Order of precedence
An order of precedence is a sequential hierarchy of nominal importance of items. Most often it is used in the context of people by many organizations and governments...
, exactly like at any other ball
Ball (dance)
A ball is a formal dance. The word 'ball' is derived from the Latin word "ballare", meaning 'to dance'; the term also derived into "bailar", which is the Spanish and Portuguese word for dance . In Catalan it is the same word, 'ball', for the dance event.Attendees wear evening attire, which is...
. In very recent times, some families have told guests to not start dancing until after watching a sometimes lengthy sequence of "special" dances. For example, after the first dance, the newly married couple might dance with their parents or new in-laws.
Departure
A ceremony is often made of the newlywed's departure. Rice or birdseed, signifying abundance, may be thrown at the departing couple, with birdseed preferred by facility managers, since it requires less clean up work than rice, and new, mess-free substitutes, such as blowing soap bubbleSoap bubble
A soap bubble is a thin film of soapy water enclosing air, that forms a hollow sphere with an iridescent surface. Soap bubbles usually last for only a few seconds before bursting, either on their own or on contact with another object. They are often used for children's enjoyment, but they are also...
s or ringing small bells being even more favored by the cleaning staff.
As the newlyweds are the guests of honor, the other guests are expected to remain at the reception until they leave them, and consequently, it is an imposition on the other guests for the newlyweds to stay unreasonably long at the party. On occasion, the newlyweds will stage an official leave-taking, so that guests feel free to leave, and then quietly return through another door.
Expense
Other traditions
Wedding traditions vary between countries, and between regions of the same country. Some traditions include:
- The money dance, or "dollar dance". Guests pay a small amount of money to dance with the bride or groom. In some cultures, the money is pinned to a special apron worn by the bride or groom. In others, the money is collected by friends. This is prevalent among Polish and Italian couples, although many other brides and grooms often incorporate it. There is considerable debate about the propriety of a money dance in English-speaking countries, where the practice is frowned upon because making guests pay for dancing or socializing with the bridal couple seems inhospitable, greedy, or distasteful. It is accepted when the couple and the majority of their guests are of one of the cultures in which it is traditional.
- Tossing of the bride's bouquetFlower bouquetA flower bouquet is a collection of flowers in a creative arrangement. There are different kinds including nosegay, crescent, and cascading bouquets. Flower bouquets are often given for special occasions such as birthdays or anniversaries. They are also used extensively in weddings. Traditionally...
and garterGarter (stockings)Garters are articles of clothing: narrow bands of fabric fastened about the leg, used to keep up stockings, and sometimes socks. Normally just a few inches in width, they are usually made of leather or heavy cloth, and adorned with small bells and/or ribbons...
. The bride tosses her bouquet over her shoulder to a group of all the single women present. Whoever catches it is supposed to be the next to get married. Similarly, the groom tosses the bride's garter to the single men, often after removing it from her leg. On occasion, the bride will "rig" the bouquet toss by tossing the bouquet to a woman who is engaged. The groom then arranges for the fiancé of the bouquet-toss winner to receive the bride's garter. Sometimes, the man who catches the garter is supposed to put it on the leg of the woman who catches the bouquet, or the garter is sold in a raffleRaffleA raffle is a competition in which people obtain numbered tickets, each ticket having the chance of winning a prize. At a set time, the winners are drawn from a container holding a copy of every number...
instead of being tossed. - Clinking glasses. Guests will often clink their glasses during dinner to ask the newlyweds to stand up and kiss. Some couples pass out wedding favor bells for guests to ring instead of clinking glasses.
- Favors. The hosts may provide a small gift for each guest. Favors may include chocolates, candles, picture frames, or other small gifts. Such favors are not required.
Gifts
Unless the wedding couple has a wedding registry, it is best not to give gifts or gift certificates. For Chinese weddings, cash or a check is always the best gift. In addition to that, some elder relatives might also give gold jewelry. The cash or check should be in a red envelopeRed envelope
In Chinese and other Asian societies, a red envelope or red packet is a monetary gift which is given during holidays or special occasions.-Usage:Red envelopes are mainly presented at social and family gatherings such as...
or red pocket with the givers' names on it, and it is always given when signing in at the restaurant. In choosing the amount of money to give, givers scrupulously avoid unlucky numbers, such as 4 and favor combinations of lucky numbers, such as 8 and 9. Also, white envelopes are never used to wrap gifts for a wedding or other joyful event, as the color white is associated with death.
Timing
There are two times listed on the invitation: 恭候 (greeting) and 入席 (reception). Typically, they are at least two hours apart (some may be four hours). The first one is the time the groom and bride, along with their family, will be ready to receive guests and greet them; the second one is the time the reception/banquet will start. The gap between those hours is referred to as entertainment time. Very often, the restaurant will provide poker and májiàngMahjong
Mahjong, sometimes spelled Mah Jongg, is a game that originated in China, commonly played by four players...
(麻將) for gambling; the time can also be used to socialize with other guests and take photos with the bride/groom and their families. Nowadays, in the U.S., you are less likely to see májiàng being played before the banquet; it is often replaced by a cocktail party. However, if the wedding reception takes place in southern China, Hong Kong, Macau, and even parts of Canada (where there is a large Cantonese population), májiàng might still be played before the dinner.
Sign-in
Two people will be at the sign-in tables (one from the bride’s family and one from the groom’s) to register guests and receive gifts/red envelopes. Often, they will have two separate guest lists, one from the groom’s side and one from the bride’s. Then the best man and the maid of honor will direct ushers to escort guests to their seat.Banquet procedure
Typically, the banquet will include a speech from the parents, the best man, the maid of honor, and the guest speaker. There will be cake cutting, toasts, a tea ceremonyTea ceremony
A tea ceremony is a ritualised form of making tea. The term generally refers to either chayi Chinese tea ceremony, chado Japanese tea ceremony, tarye Korean tea ceremony. The Japanese tea ceremony is more well known, and was influenced by the Chinese tea ceremony during ancient and medieval times....
, some games designed by the DJ, and dancing. The two tables at the center of the room are for the groom’s and bride’s families.
Food
A Chinese wedding reception typically has nine or ten courses. Expensive dishes such as shark finShark fin soup
Shark fin soup is a popular soup item of Chinese cuisine usually served at special occasions such as weddings and banquets, or as a luxury item in Chinese culture. The shark fins provide texture while the taste comes from the other soup ingredients.There is controversy over the practice of shark...
, abalone, lobster, jumbo shrimp, squab, sea bass, or sea cucumber
Sea cucumber
Sea cucumbers are echinoderms from the class Holothuroidea.They are marine animals with a leathery skin and an elongated body containing a single, branched gonad. Sea cucumbers are found on the sea floor worldwide. There are a number of holothurian species and genera, many of which are targeted...
are common on a wedding banquet menu.
A whole fish, chicken, or pig means luck and completeness in Chinese wedding culture.
Traditionally, after the fifth dish of the dinner, the groom and bride and their families will approach each table to toast the guests. If the groom or the bride cannot drink, it is the best man, bridesmaid, or usher group’s responsibility to drink for them. Very often, the bride will change into a traditional Chinese red wedding dress (鳳褂, or qí páo) at that time, if she has been wearing a different style of clothing before.
Guests are welcome to take leftovers home. Taking home the remaining food indicates appreciation of the groom and bride’s choice of food.
About twenty minutes after the tenth (last) dish is served, the groom and bride, along with their families, will line up at the entrance/exit to bid the guests farewell and thank them for coming. It is not polite to leave before the last dish is served.