A bridal shower is a gift-giving party held for a bride-to-be in anticipation of her wedding

Wedding

A wedding is the ceremony in which two people are united in marriage or a similar institution. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes...

. The custom originated in the 1890s and is today most common in the United States

United States

The United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...

, Canada

Canada

Canada is a North American country consisting of ten provinces and three territories. Located in the northern part of the continent, it extends from the Atlantic Ocean in the east to the Pacific Ocean in the west, and northward into the Arctic Ocean...

, and by North American influence, in Australia

Australia

Australia , officially the Commonwealth of Australia, is a country in the Southern Hemisphere comprising the mainland of the Australian continent, the island of Tasmania, and numerous smaller islands in the Indian and Pacific Oceans. It is the world's sixth-largest country by total area...

.

The history of the custom is rooted not necessarily for the provision of goods for the upcoming matrimonial home, but to provide goods and financial assistance to ensure the wedding may take place.

History

The custom of the bridal shower is said to have grown out of earlier dowry

Dowry

A dowry is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings forth to the marriage. It contrasts with bride price, which is paid to the bride's parents, and dower, which is property settled on the bride herself by the groom at the time of marriage. The same culture may simultaneously practice both...

 practices, when a poor woman's family might not have the money to provide a dowry for her, or when a father refused to give his daughter her dowry because he did not approve of the marriage. In such situations, friends of the woman would gather together and bring gifts that would compensate for the dowry and allow her to marry the man of her choice.

The earliest stories about these events have been known to originate in Brussels

Brussels

Brussels , officially the Brussels Region or Brussels-Capital Region , is the capital of Belgium and the de facto capital of the European Union...

, Belgium

Belgium

Belgium , officially the Kingdom of Belgium, is a federal state in Western Europe. It is a founding member of the European Union and hosts the EU's headquarters, and those of several other major international organisations such as NATO.Belgium is also a member of, or affiliated to, many...

 around 1860. A frequently quoted legend traces the origin of this practice to the 16th or 17th Century Netherlands

Netherlands

The Netherlands is a constituent country of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, located mainly in North-West Europe and with several islands in the Caribbean. Mainland Netherlands borders the North Sea to the north and west, Belgium to the south, and Germany to the east, and shares maritime borders...

. However, there are also parallels with many dowry practices and the United States colonial or hope chest

Hope chest

A hope chest, dowry chest, cedar chest, or glory box is a chest used to collect items such as clothing and household linen, by unmarried young women in anticipation of married life....

 (trousseau) custom.

A related custom practised in medieval England

England

England is a country that is part of the United Kingdom. It shares land borders with Scotland to the north and Wales to the west; the Irish Sea is to the north west, the Celtic Sea to the south west, with the North Sea to the east and the English Channel to the south separating it from continental...

 was the Bride Ale; in Langland

William Langland

William Langland is the conjectured author of the 14th-century English dream-vision Piers Plowman.- Life :The attribution of Piers to Langland rests principally on the evidence of a manuscript held at Trinity College, Dublin...

's Piers Plowman

Piers Plowman

Piers Plowman or Visio Willelmi de Petro Plowman is the title of a Middle English allegorical narrative poem by William Langland. It is written in unrhymed alliterative verse divided into sections called "passus"...

(§ B.II.45) there is a reference to a bruydale. This was a feast held before the wedding day, at which the bride made beer and sold it to the guests at a high price.

In the United States, bridal showers started in urban areas in the 1890s, mainly among the upper middle classes. By the 1930s, bridal showers had spread to rural America.

The earliest use of this sense of the word in print may be in the Grand Rapids Michigan Evening Press 22 June 4, 1904: "The ‘shower parties’ that through mistaken hospitality the wedded couple are forced to attend..." and may derive from the custom in Victorian times for the presents to be put inside a parasol, which when opened would "shower" the bride-to-be with gifts.

Customs and gift-giving

Many different customs have developed in different regions and social groups. But the basic format has been relatively unchanged for generations, and emphasizes traditional gender roles. Sociologists like Beth Montemurro write that the ritual of the bridal shower "socializes women into the hyper-feminized traditional wife role," with its emphasis on the future role of the bride-to-be as family cook, homemaker, and sexual partner. Historian Elisabeth Pleck echoes this dynamic in pointing out that traditional shower gifts were "for the bedroom or the kitchen." But this role is more of an homage to the mothers and grandmothers than a reflection of how the bride-to-be will actually behave in the marriage.

Although the format has remained relatively consistent, there have been some significant changes. An etiquette guide from the 1920s suggested showers should be "purely spontaneous and informal," with guests arriving unannounced at the bride-to-be's home, while a planning guide from the 1950s suggests more complex themes and games.

Showers are often held during the afternoon or evening, but not generally as luncheons or dinner parties. They commonly take place four to six weeks before the wedding.

Due to the prior history of showers being "purely spontaneous and informal", showers have not developed the same formal etiquette that has developed with respect to weddings. Invitations may be issued informally, by mail, telephone or e-mail.

As showers are explicitly a gift-giving occasion, everyone who attends the shower is expected to bring a small gift. People who decline the invitation for any reason are not expected to send a gift or otherwise participate in the party.

Hosts

Traditionally, hosting the bridal shower falls to one or more close friends of the bride, often one or more of the bridesmaid

Bridesmaid

The bridesmaids are members of the bride's wedding party in a wedding. A bridesmaid is typically a young woman, and often a close friend or sister. She attends to the bride on the day of a wedding or marriage ceremony...

s. Mothers, sisters, and other close family members should not host bridal showers, as it is rude and greedy for the family to ask for gifts for their own members. Instead, close family members and future in-laws who wish to celebrate the upcoming wedding may host a bridesmaids' luncheon, engagement announcement party

Engagement party

An engagement party is a party thrown to celebrate a couple's recent engagement and to help future wedding guests to get to know one another. Traditionally, the bride's parents host the engagement party, but many modern couples host their own celebration....

, or other non-gift-oriented party. Some organizations, such as social clubs or religious groups, host bridal showers for every member who is being married.

Guests

Guests are chosen from among the bride's personal friends, family, and other well-wishers. Men are not usually present at bridal showers.

The number of guests and their relationship to the bride varies widely. In Canada, among some immigrant communities parties in community halls with upwards of 300 guests were normal, while other cultures emphasized intimate parties with only close friends and relatives.

In general, people who are invited to a bridal shower are also invited to the wedding ceremony.

Uncommon in other countries

Bridal showers are uncommon in some cultures. In the United Kingdom

United Kingdom

The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern IrelandIn the United Kingdom and Dependencies, other languages have been officially recognised as legitimate autochthonous languages under the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages...

, bridal showers have been described as a "consumerist American idea" with "limited acceptability". In the UK, wedding presents are normally selected from a list provided by the couple, and delivered either at the wedding or by the shop, and sometimes displayed at the wedding.