Characters of 8-Bit Theater
Encyclopedia
The events in the webcomic 8-Bit Theater
center around four major characters — the Light Warriors — and a number of minor ones. Many of the characters are based on characters from the original Final Fantasy, but are highly satirized and parodied, most of them being comically foolish and inept.
Collectively known as the Warriors of Light (or simply "the Light Warriors"), Black Mage, Fighter, Thief and Red Mage are the main characters of 8-Bit Theater
. Their names and appearances are based on four classes from the first Final Fantasy
game. Despite composing the "classic" heroic party, they are, for the most part, incompetent
, dysfunctional
, have few redeeming traits and tend to do more harm than good. As the author, Brian Clevinger
, stated "I'm not sure why the Light Warriors worry about obstacles or monsters standing in their way. They are nothing compared to the obstacles and monsters within the party."
Sprite: Black Mage (Final Fantasy I
, NES); Class Change: Warlock (Final Fantasy III
, Famicom)
Black Mage is an evil wizard and a nexus of magical power in human form. He delights in being evil to the point where even his conscience is split not between his good and evil
side, but between his evil and his atrociously evil side. Black Mage is frequently shown to be overweight and carry poor social and hygiene habits. Being physically weak, Black Mage usually relies on an array of destructive magic spells, most prominently a beam of destructive energy he calls the Hadoken.
Black Mage keeps his face hidden; according to him, it is so "contrary to Euclidean geometry"
that no one can look at it without going mad, demonstrated by driving a young boy (Later revealed to be Sarda) insane.
Sprite: Warrior (Final Fantasy I, NES); Class Change: Knight (Final Fantasy III, Famicom)
Fighter
is a warrior specializing in sword
s and master of a style called Zodiac Kenshido, capable of wielding more than two swords at once and, after his class change, blocking anything with his swords. Fighter is extremely resilient towards physical damage in general and easily recovers even from lethal injuries (Most often demonstrated when Black Mage stabs him. A lot). Fighter is the inventor of sword-chucks, a weapon that combines swords and nunchaku
by linking two swords with a chain that is often referred to as more dangerous to the wielder than to enemies.
Skilled as he is, he is also extremely naïve, childlike and has an almost single-minded sword fixation. Fighter firmly believes the Light Warriors to be archetypes of heroes that do good deeds wherever they go and remains oblivious towards their often cowardly and villainous actions. His innocence endears him to many characters that dislike the other Light Warriors, such as White Mage and Sarda, and despite his ordinarily ignorant disposition he occasionally shows surprising bursts of intelligence.
Sprite: Thief (Final Fantasy I, NES); Class Change: Ninja (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Thief
is a sneaky and cunning Elf and the Prince of Elfland. His main assets are his skills at thievery and his wits; Thief claims to be able to steal anything that isn't both nailed down and on fire, including intangible objects such as souls, secrets, and things that aren't there. In addition, he manipulates people with legal contracts and, in fact, became the Light Warriors' contractual leader by talking Fighter into signing such a contract. Before his class change, Thief rarely engaged in physical combat, preferring to hide and let the others do the work. After becoming a Ninja he gained the ability to throw any object, including his teammates (and somehow himself) and tends to use kicks and punches in combat.
Thief originally tried to conceal his Elven heritage from the Light Warriors, but was forced to reveal his true identity when an Elven court threatened the group with execution. It was subsequently revealed that Thief originally left his kingdom in secret in order to raise money for a cure for his dying father, though having no actual moral qualms about stealing he continued stealing even after his father was cured. Thief, like all Elves, is incredibly arrogant and considers all non-Elven races, particularly Dwarves, to be below him. He regards the other Light Warriors as little more than his lackeys (and at times fair game).
Sprite: Red Mage (Final Fantasy I, NES); Class Change: Red Wizard (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Red Mage claims to be the last surviving member of an ancient order of Red Mages and as such is the most knowledgeable and versatile, yet also the most delusional, of the Light Warriors. He firmly believes the world runs according to the rules of tabletop role-playing games (such as Dungeons & Dragons
) and actively tries to use knowledge of these rules to his own advantage
. While this enables him to fight as well as use both White and Black Magic, he often bends the rules to absurd degrees and has, for example survived normally lethal injuries by "forgetting" to write down the damage he suffered. After his class change Red Mage gained the ability to mimic his teammates' actions.
Red Mage is the main "strategist
" of the group. His plans, however, are usually overly complicated and bizarre. While in accordance with logic on a certain level, his plans frequently include obvious flaws, such as a plan to construct a "cold fusion" reactor entirely from ice. Most of the time Red Mage's plans fail horribly as the laws of physics
get in the way, but his stratagems have proven surprisingly successful a number of times, most notably in the Light Warriors' battles against the first three Fiends. Either way, Red Mage tends to be overconfident about his plans and believes them to be foolproof.
Sprite: White Mage (Final Fantasy III
, Famicom)
White Mage is a priestess who specializes in healing magic and who is on a mission to restore order to the world "after a great evil has swept across its surface." She was originally a candidate to be one of the Light Warriors, but was rejected by the group in favor of Red Mage. Afterwards she still followed them on their journey for most of the comic's history. There is ongoing tension with Black Mage's lustful attraction to her, usually resulting in White Mage hitting him with her hammer
, although she regularly heals his wounds out of sheer devotion to her position.
White Mage often questions her purpose in the world and fate itself for choosing a group of people to be Light Warriors who spread destruction wherever they go. She often blames herself for the results of the Light Warriors' actions. However, in the end she manages to fulfill her mission and destroy Chaos himself. As a result of a time travel accident, White Mage is also the creator of the universe.
Sprite: Monk/Black Belt (Final Fantasy I, NES
)
Black Belt is an extremely skilled martial artist
with an all but non-existent sense of orientation and the ability of defying the laws of physics simply by misunderstanding them, which rendered him capable of Münchhausenesque
feats such as walking across a pit on a rope that, unknown to him, had been untied at both ends. Early in the comic, Black Belt shows up as White Mage's loyal bodyguard, but he is later killed in the Light Warriors' battle with Kary, the Fiend of Fire.
Black Belt's teachers (who resemble Ken
and Ryu
from the Street Fighter
video game series) identify the fighting style they and Black Belt use as Wu Xia
. Black Belt himself described the prevailing theory of his school as the credo that an opponent who is too broken to move is an opponent who is defeated.
Sprite: Doga (Final Fantasy III
, Famicom
), modified (adult) / Onion Kid (Final Fantasy III, Famicom) (child) / Fomortiis (Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones
) (Chaos)
Sarda, the self-proclaimed Wizard Who Did It (in reference to the common cop out "a wizard did it" as an explanation for inconsistency and plot errors
), is an evidently omnipotent
wizard who is able to effortlessly manipulate reality itself and will readily do so out of sheer boredom. For example, the world of 8-Bit Theater used to have 36-hour days, but Sarda reduced them to 24 simply to make everyone hurry up. He never stops to think about the consequences of his actions, citing that he wouldn't be the Wizard Who Did It if he did.
Sarda plays a much more vital role in the comic than in Final Fantasy, where a character named Sarda only serves to let the player explore one dungeon. In the comic Sarda drives the Light Warriors to recover the four Orbs, often by force and at no time concerned with the Light Warriors' chances of survival. He repeatedly sends them on suicidal missions providing them with wholly inadequate supplies, most prominently the ever-same shaky vessel of transportation, the "deathtrap." For obvious reasons, the Light Warriors harbor a strong dislike for Sarda, but choose not to argue with him for fear he will "unmake [them] before [they] were born".
Towards the end of the comic, Sarda is revealed to be a time traveller who plans to kill the Light Warriors, whose actions during the entire story led directly to his first exposure to black magic as a young child and the death of his biological family as well as several foster families. However, after absorbing the magical energy of the four elemental orbs as well as Black Mage's concentrated evil energy, he loses control and his body is possessed by Chaos, the evil Demon King that the Light Warriors are questing to defeat the entire comic. Chaos himself is eventually defeated in a deliberate anticlimax by four White Mages, a twist that was described by Brian Clevinger as "probably the longest ranged call back
attempted by a webcomic."
.jpg)
The Dark Warriors are major enemies the Light Warriors have defeated separately in the past who teamed up to take revenge. With the exception of Drizz'l, they are based on antagonists from the game; Drizz'l is the son of Astos, who is based on a game character.
Sprite: Dark Knight (Final Fantasy III
, Famicom
, modified from Episode 053 on)
Garland is the first major enemy faced by the Light Warriors and a former military leader of Corneria. Despite his best attempts to become an evil villain, he is a nice and caring person who enjoys cooking and treats the Light Warriors more like guests rather than prisoners during their imprisonment in his castle. After his first failed encounter with the Light Warriors, he forms the Dark Warriors and begins a propaganda campaign against the Light Warriors.
Sprite: Thief (Final Fantasy I, NES), modified
Bikke is an incompetent and dim-witted pirate captain
and the second member of the Dark Warriors. He is known for his intense body odor and his tendency to speak in a clichéd pirate accent
. Bikke managed to let his entire crew almost die from scurvy
after feeding them nothing but Cheetos
, which led directly to his defeat. Although he is a pirate captain, he cannot swim and, despite having two perfectly normal, functional hands, desires to be called "The Claw". He is completely illiterate
and unable to comprehend simple arithmetic
.
Sprite: Gordon (Final Fantasy II
, Famicom), modified
Drizz'l, a Dark Elf
and the son of King Astos, is the third member of the Dark Warriors. His name, a parody of the name of Drizzt Do'Urden
, roughly translates from Elven into "The Relentless Scourge." Drizz'l is a sword master equal to Fighter and controlled a pack of giant spiders before he was defeated by the Light Warriors in Marsh Cave. Drizz'l considers himself the most intelligent of the Dark Warriors, although his inherent Elven arrogance often gets the better of him.
Sprite: Scholar (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Vilbert, the son of Lich, is a vampire and a clichéd goth
live action role-player
who, prior to meeting the Light Warriors, lived in his parents' basement.
Sprite: Black Wizard (Final Fantasy, NES; modified)
The Cultists are a doom cult
whose true name "cannot be said or written without driving you mad." and who the Light Warriors have encountered and defeated twice. They dwell in extremely remote areas and worship ancient beings that are reminiscent of the ones found in H. P. Lovecraft
's Cthulhu Mythos
. The Cultists induce new members by beheading them and implanting the larva of an "Old One" in the body, where it matures, giving the Cultists the appearance of a humanoid being with long tentacles in the lower half of their faces; their look and method of reproduction makes the Cultists resemble illithid
s or Mind Flayers, fictional monsters from the roleplaying game Dungeons & Dragons
. The Cultists take pleasure in disturbing paraphilia
(especially those that carry taboos). All of the Cultists have names that are pronounced similarly to female names, such as L'zlhe (Leslie), Lv'rn (Laverne), or Suh'zahne (Suzanne).
Among the ancient entities the cultists worship is Ur, the Fiend of Water. After the Light Warriors defeated them, they accidentally used the cultists' ancient "end of the world formula" and summoned Ur by invoking his true name, Jnn'efur (Jennifer).
In the Final Fantasy video game, the Fiends served as major bosses. They consisted of Lich (Earth), Kary/Marilith (Fire), Kraken (Water) and Tiamat (Air/Wind), and each of them also had to be defeated twice, once during the normal course of the game and once in the game's final area.
Sprite: Black Wizard (Final Fantasy, NES; modified)
Lich
is an undead, immortal wizard and self-proclaimed "Master Bonecraftsman" who believes all things live to die and that the dead exist to serve him. He confronts the Light Warriors after they defeated his son Vilbert and kills Black Mage. During the battle, the Light Warriors discover Lich has stored his soul
in the Earth Orb, rendering him immortal. He is eventually defeated when Thief "steals" his soul out of the Earth Orb and Black Mage, who emerges as the new ruler of Hell, banishes Lich to the underworld, where he promptly ousts Black Mage from his position and takes his place as the ruler of Hell. Lich's departing words were "Death is but a door, time is but a window; I'll be back", a direct quote from Ghostbusters 2.
Kary appears as a woman with six arms and the lower body of a snake. She guards the Orb of Fire and is extremely hot-headed, demonstrated by her killing all her minions with little, if any, provocation. During her battle with the Light Warriors, she kills Black Belt, but is defeated when the Light Warriors manage to stuff her into a bag of holding
and cast Ice-9, an enormously powerful Ice spell that causes all thermodynamic activity in the universe to cease (and a reference to the Kurt Vonnegut novel Cat's Cradle
) into the bag.
Ur, the Fiend of Water, is an ancient entity worshiped by the Cultists that Fighter accidentally summons by invoking his true name, Jnn'efur. Initially it appears as a large chaotic mass of sticky tentacles that engulfs Red Mage just before he can reveal the Fiend's weakness. However, Ur is defeated rather anticlimactically when, just before he can bring about the apocalypse, Red Mage cuts his way out of him with a sword.
Ur represents the fiend Kraken from the game. While it is only ever called Ur in the comic, Red Mage does note that Ur is "your basic Kraken
oid". Brian Clevinger
notes that either name is valid.
Sprite: Idoun, the Demon Dragon (Fire Emblem: Fūin no Tsurugi
, GBA
)
Muffin, the owner of both the flying Sky Castle and the Orb of Air, is a dragon
who Dragoon considers his "pet parrot", having never seen a parrot or a dragon before, and believing her lie about her species. Muffin had established the order of Dragon Knights ten thousand years ago in order to kill the other dragons, allowing her to take their powers, treasure, and knowledge. Afterward, she slaughtered the dragoons so they would not learn of her plot. When the Light Warriors attack Muffin's Sky Castle, Dragoon kills her with a spear through the head.
Muffin is the comic's version of Tiamat, the Fiend of Wind from Final Fantasy. She is never directly referred to as Tiamat, but Dragoon indicates that Muffin may not be her real name.
Sprite: Thief (Final Fantasy, NES), modified
Astos, originally a boss in the first Final Fantasy game, is the father of Drizz'l. He planned to drive Elfland into a civil war by overthrowing the currently ruling Elven clan, using the alias "Chancellor Usurper
of Clan Sahn'ta
" to get close to the king and Prince Elf (Thief). He had the king poisoned and put into a coma to this end.
In a stroke of luck, Thief and the Light Warriors overheard Astos dictating his plot to himself. The next day, the Light Warriors confronted Astos. They never got around to an epic battle, however, as Astos was killed by a bad pun from Black Mage. He turned out to carry both Matoya's Crystal Eye and the formula for an antidote for King Elf.
Sprite: Kraken (Final Fantasy III, NES; Greed), Dracocotta (Final Fantasy III, NES; Sloth), Black Mage (Final Fantasy, NES; Atrocity), Spirit Naga/Grey Naga (Final Fantasy, NES; Pride), Lunasaur/Lunasaurus (Final Fantasy IV
, SNES
; Zombie Dragon)
In the Castle of Ordeals, each of the Light Warriors had to deal with a manifestation of the worst flaw in their personality, three of them being one of the seven deadly sins
. While Fighter had to contend his Sloth
, Red Mage his Pride
, and Thief his Greed, Black Mage encountered a doppelgänger
, as the only thing that could represent his evil was himself. The final Ordeal was a giant Zombie Dragon, to which Red Mage comments that "a giant Zombie Dragon has little relation to facing one's own inner struggles". As in Final Fantasy
, defeating it earned the Light Warriors a Rat's Tail, which they exchanged for a class change.
Sprites: Aria (modified) and Princess Sarah (both Final Fantasy III, Famicom)
The daughter of King Steve and Queen Jane and the heir to the Cornerian throne, Princess Sara, had already been kidnapped about six times by the time Garland got to her. Her rescue is the first mission that King Steve gives to the Light Warriors. Although she appears to be a respectable princess, Sara hides a calculating and bloodthirsty nature and uses her time as Garland's "prisoner" to coach him into becoming a proper villain. After her "rescue", she resumes life in Corneria, later turns down an offer to join the Dark Warriors, declaring them hopeless, usurps the rulership of the Kingdom from her clueless father and runs the kingdom without his knowledge.
Sprite: Prince Alus (Final Fantasy III, NES; modified)
King Steve is the father of Princess Sara and ruler of Corneria. He recruits the Light Warriors to rescue his daughter, Sara, from Garland. Steve initially sends hundreds of "light warriors" on his errand, surmising that the chosen ones, being destined to save the world, would prevail and those who were not the chosen ones would die off; he was oblivious to the many deaths this would cause, and once informed was still dismissive of this fact. Steve is a capricious and entirely delusional despot
with only a tenuous grip on reality who, among other things, has devastated his country in an attempt to drill for mana (a reference to FFVII's mining for materia), believed he was running for election against a length of string (ignoring the fact that Corneria is a monarchy
) and made a coffee stain ("Rodney") his right hand man. Following the conclusion of the Sara kidnapping arc, Steve has not been involved in the main story, but he continues to make frequent appearances in the comic, his adventures often serving as a sideline to the main story.
Sprites: Dymlos (Tales of Destiny
, PlayStation
), modified
Dr. Swordopolis is the very incarnation of all things sword. He appears to Fighter in visions, taking the form of a bespectacled sword and bringing cryptic and oft-ignored advice. His secret agenda throughout the comic is to bring Fighter to kill Black Mage in order to prevent the latter becoming a portal for Chaos to enter the world, a plan the naive Fighter never quite catches on to.
Sprite: White Magic Seller (Final Fantasy, NES; recolored)
Matoya is a blind witch who sends the Light Warriors on a side-quest to regain her magic eye after feeding them poisoned nightmare-inducing cookies, promising them an antidote if they return with it. Due to her poor hearing, she also grants Fighter the Armoire of Invincibility, instead of the Armor of Invincibility Fighter was actually searching for (although Fighter did not seem to notice or care). She is almost as greedy as Thief and once almost tricked Thief into paying her the entire kingdom of Elfland in return for his father's cure. Matoya has an overtly sexual relationship with Bahamut, the Dragon God-King, much to the disgust and horror of the Light Warriors.
character classes who travel the world. They occasionally met the Light Warriors on their journey, were involved with obtaining the Orb of Air and were eventually killed by Sarda.
Sprite: Bard (Final Fantasy III, Famicom)
Ranger is very poetic and adventurous, as well as extremely friendly and trusting, though a bit naïve. He is capable of firing multiple arrows at once with uncanny accuracy and is able to use four bows at once, being a dual-class ranger/ranger. Ranger's heritage combines elven, human and orcish
blood.
Sprite: Viking (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Berserker
is a dwarf with two distinct personalities
, one civilized and gentle and the other a raging, furious warrior. His calm side is characterized by polite and eloquent conversation and wearing a monocle
; when entering a rage, the monocle falls off and he begins swearing and shouting incoherently while mauling whoever happens to stand nearby. He seems unaware of his split personality and unable to remember his actions in the respective other state.
Sprite: Summoner (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
A "miracle shopper" who makes deals with the gods. In order to keep an open market, Cleric prefers not to devote himself to one single deity and is, in fact, an atheist
. His use of divine intervention is often faulty and unreliable. Cleric made a deal with a Trickster God named Raven to bring Thief back to life; in return, Raven bestowed him with a "healing shiv
", which has shown its worth in bringing Thief back from the very brink of death.
Sprite: Thief (Final Fantasy III, Famicom)
Like Thief, Rogue is constantly scamming people, including his own teammates. However, unlike Thief, who conducts his business through contracts and legal loopholes, Rogue relies on a network of shady contacts, one of whom is Thief himself. His catch phrase is "I may know a guy..."
Sprite: Bahamut (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Bahamut is the God-King of Dragons who was awakened by Black Mage, although Fighter was blamed for doing so. He offered to give the Light Warriors "the power of self-realization and the power that comes with it" in exchange for the tail of the dreaded Dire Rat. When the Light Warriors brought him such a tail from the Castle of Ordeals, he granted their Class Changes. It later turned out that the reason Bahamut desired a rat tail was that rat tail soup is a potent virility drug, to be concocted by his girlfriend, Matoya. According to Muffin, Bahamut will slumber until the prophecy of the Enlightened Warrior is fulfilled in order to usher in the end of the world. Red Mage thus suspects that in attempting to save the world, they may have accidentally endangered it.
Sprite: Magus (Chrono Trigger
, SNES
)
The only one of the Dark Gods Black Mage worships to appear to him, the Dark God made his class change effective. The Dark God's name, if any, has not been revealed, so Black Mage himself makes up the name "Darko, the Dark God of the Dark" in an attempt to convince his friends that he had really met a dark god. His official title is "Executive Assistant to Chaos", being one of many middle management deities in the organization of evil, and his plan was to guide Black Mage to overload himself with magic energy to the point where he'd become a portal for Chaos to enter the world. Thanks to Black Mage's incompetence, the plan failed.
Sprite: Dragoon (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Dragoon is the last of the Dragon Knights, an elite group of spear-carrying warriors who attack by jumping high in the air and coming down on their opponents. Dragoon uses this technique as a travel method, but is unable to perform these jumps without having a target. His usual target is Black Mage, although he does not harbour any ill will against the Light Warriors. In fact, he is extremely polite towards them, remaining oblivious to the considerable pain his travel method causes. Dragoon has encountered the team several times, mostly in passing. Like the Light Warriors, he was looking for the Air Orb that the Other Warriors seemingly stole from him and which he means to use to rebuild the Order of Dragon Knights. He had since been seen with White Mage and Sarda's younger self, before being teleported to the Moon by Sarda. Sometime in the following years, he joined Red Mage's support group for lone survivors of secret societies (Sects Buddies) after returning from the moon.
Dragoon had a pet dragon named Muffin (who was actually the Fiend of Air) whom, like all dragons, he believed to be a parrot
.
Sprite: Warmech/Death Machine (Final Fantasy, NES)
Warmech is a robot and was the Sky Castle's guardian until it was blown up. He wants revenge on the Light Warriors for ridding him of his job, but his own incompetence prevents him from doing so. In his insanity, he follows the Light Warriors in a very transparent disguise as a human, but is outwitted again.
In Final Fantasy, the Warmech/Death Machine was the strongest regular enemy and a precursor of later games' superbosses
. The title of the episode in which he first appears refers to the chance of encountering one in a certain area of the Sky Castle/Flying Fortress dungeon.
8-Bit Theater
8-Bit Theater is a completed sprite comic created by Brian Clevinger, and published in 1,225 episodes from March 2, 2001 to June 1, 2010. One of the most popular web comics, it won the Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards for best fantasy comic in 2002...
center around four major characters — the Light Warriors — and a number of minor ones. Many of the characters are based on characters from the original Final Fantasy, but are highly satirized and parodied, most of them being comically foolish and inept.
The Light Warriors
8-Bit Theater
8-Bit Theater is a completed sprite comic created by Brian Clevinger, and published in 1,225 episodes from March 2, 2001 to June 1, 2010. One of the most popular web comics, it won the Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards for best fantasy comic in 2002...
. Their names and appearances are based on four classes from the first Final Fantasy
Final Fantasy
is a media franchise created by Hironobu Sakaguchi, and is developed and owned by Square Enix . The franchise centers on a series of fantasy and science-fantasy role-playing video games , but includes motion pictures, anime, printed media, and other merchandise...
game. Despite composing the "classic" heroic party, they are, for the most part, incompetent
Incompetence
Incompetence is the inability to perform; lack of competence; ineptitude.* Administrative incompetence, dysfunctional administrative behaviors that hinder attainment of organization goals...
, dysfunctional
Structural functionalism
Structural functionalism is a broad perspective in sociology and anthropology which sets out to interpret society as a structure with interrelated parts. Functionalism addresses society as a whole in terms of the function of its constituent elements; namely norms, customs, traditions and institutions...
, have few redeeming traits and tend to do more harm than good. As the author, Brian Clevinger
Brian Clevinger
Brian Clevinger is an American writer best known as the author of the webcomic 8-Bit Theater and the Eisner-nominated print comic Atomic Robo...
, stated "I'm not sure why the Light Warriors worry about obstacles or monsters standing in their way. They are nothing compared to the obstacles and monsters within the party."
Black Mage
First appearance: Episode 001: We're going where?Sprite: Black Mage (Final Fantasy I
Final Fantasy (video game)
is a fantasy role-playing video game created by Hironobu Sakaguchi, developed and first published in Japan by Square in 1987. It is the first game in Square's Final Fantasy series...
, NES); Class Change: Warlock (Final Fantasy III
Final Fantasy III
is a role-playing video game developed and published by Square in for the Family Computer as the third installment in the Final Fantasy series. It is the first numbered Final Fantasy game to feature the job-change system....
, Famicom)
Black Mage is an evil wizard and a nexus of magical power in human form. He delights in being evil to the point where even his conscience is split not between his good and evil
Shoulder angel
A shoulder angel is a plot device used for either dramatic or humorous effect in animation and comic strips . The angel represents conscience and is often accompanied by a shoulder devil representing temptation. They are handy for easily showing inner conflict of a character...
side, but between his evil and his atrociously evil side. Black Mage is frequently shown to be overweight and carry poor social and hygiene habits. Being physically weak, Black Mage usually relies on an array of destructive magic spells, most prominently a beam of destructive energy he calls the Hadoken.
Black Mage keeps his face hidden; according to him, it is so "contrary to Euclidean geometry"
Non-Euclidean geometry
Non-Euclidean geometry is the term used to refer to two specific geometries which are, loosely speaking, obtained by negating the Euclidean parallel postulate, namely hyperbolic and elliptic geometry. This is one term which, for historical reasons, has a meaning in mathematics which is much...
that no one can look at it without going mad, demonstrated by driving a young boy (Later revealed to be Sarda) insane.
Fighter
First Appearance: Episode 001: We're going where?Sprite: Warrior (Final Fantasy I, NES); Class Change: Knight (Final Fantasy III, Famicom)
Fighter
Warrior (character class)
Warrior is a character class found in many role-playing games. This class may also be referred to as Fighter, as in Dungeons & Dragons. The class is sometimes also referred to as a Knight, although in some games this is a separate class with a more chivalric aspect...
is a warrior specializing in sword
Sword
A sword is a bladed weapon used primarily for cutting or thrusting. The precise definition of the term varies with the historical epoch or the geographical region under consideration...
s and master of a style called Zodiac Kenshido, capable of wielding more than two swords at once and, after his class change, blocking anything with his swords. Fighter is extremely resilient towards physical damage in general and easily recovers even from lethal injuries (Most often demonstrated when Black Mage stabs him. A lot). Fighter is the inventor of sword-chucks, a weapon that combines swords and nunchaku
Nunchaku
is a traditional Okinawan weapon consisting of two sticks connected at their ends with a short chain or rope.-Etymology:The Japanese word nunchaku is the Kun'yomi reading of the Kanji term for a traditional Chinese two section staff....
by linking two swords with a chain that is often referred to as more dangerous to the wielder than to enemies.
Skilled as he is, he is also extremely naïve, childlike and has an almost single-minded sword fixation. Fighter firmly believes the Light Warriors to be archetypes of heroes that do good deeds wherever they go and remains oblivious towards their often cowardly and villainous actions. His innocence endears him to many characters that dislike the other Light Warriors, such as White Mage and Sarda, and despite his ordinarily ignorant disposition he occasionally shows surprising bursts of intelligence.
Thief
First Appearance: Episode 004: Fight heroes, fight!Sprite: Thief (Final Fantasy I, NES); Class Change: Ninja (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Thief
Thief (character class)
The Thief or Rogue is a character class in many role-playing games, including Dungeons & Dragons, Final Fantasy, World of Warcraft and many MMORPGs. Thieves are usually stealthy and dextrous characters able to disarm traps, pick locks, and perform backstabs from hiding...
is a sneaky and cunning Elf and the Prince of Elfland. His main assets are his skills at thievery and his wits; Thief claims to be able to steal anything that isn't both nailed down and on fire, including intangible objects such as souls, secrets, and things that aren't there. In addition, he manipulates people with legal contracts and, in fact, became the Light Warriors' contractual leader by talking Fighter into signing such a contract. Before his class change, Thief rarely engaged in physical combat, preferring to hide and let the others do the work. After becoming a Ninja he gained the ability to throw any object, including his teammates (and somehow himself) and tends to use kicks and punches in combat.
Thief originally tried to conceal his Elven heritage from the Light Warriors, but was forced to reveal his true identity when an Elven court threatened the group with execution. It was subsequently revealed that Thief originally left his kingdom in secret in order to raise money for a cure for his dying father, though having no actual moral qualms about stealing he continued stealing even after his father was cured. Thief, like all Elves, is incredibly arrogant and considers all non-Elven races, particularly Dwarves, to be below him. He regards the other Light Warriors as little more than his lackeys (and at times fair game).
Red Mage
First Appearance: Episode 034: Introductions Are In OrderSprite: Red Mage (Final Fantasy I, NES); Class Change: Red Wizard (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Red Mage claims to be the last surviving member of an ancient order of Red Mages and as such is the most knowledgeable and versatile, yet also the most delusional, of the Light Warriors. He firmly believes the world runs according to the rules of tabletop role-playing games (such as Dungeons & Dragons
Dungeons & Dragons
Dungeons & Dragons is a fantasy role-playing game originally designed by Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson, and first published in 1974 by Tactical Studies Rules, Inc. . The game has been published by Wizards of the Coast since 1997...
) and actively tries to use knowledge of these rules to his own advantage
Powergaming
Powergaming is a style of interacting with games or game-like systems with the aim of maximising progress towards a specific goal, to the exclusion of other considerations such as storytelling, atmosphere and camaraderie...
. While this enables him to fight as well as use both White and Black Magic, he often bends the rules to absurd degrees and has, for example survived normally lethal injuries by "forgetting" to write down the damage he suffered. After his class change Red Mage gained the ability to mimic his teammates' actions.
Red Mage is the main "strategist
Strategy
Strategy, a word of military origin, refers to a plan of action designed to achieve a particular goal. In military usage strategy is distinct from tactics, which are concerned with the conduct of an engagement, while strategy is concerned with how different engagements are linked...
" of the group. His plans, however, are usually overly complicated and bizarre. While in accordance with logic on a certain level, his plans frequently include obvious flaws, such as a plan to construct a "cold fusion" reactor entirely from ice. Most of the time Red Mage's plans fail horribly as the laws of physics
Physical law
A physical law or scientific law is "a theoretical principle deduced from particular facts, applicable to a defined group or class of phenomena, and expressible by the statement that a particular phenomenon always occurs if certain conditions be present." Physical laws are typically conclusions...
get in the way, but his stratagems have proven surprisingly successful a number of times, most notably in the Light Warriors' battles against the first three Fiends. Either way, Red Mage tends to be overconfident about his plans and believes them to be foolproof.
White Mage
First Appearance: Episode 024: "She's a White Magic Woman."Sprite: White Mage (Final Fantasy III
Final Fantasy III
is a role-playing video game developed and published by Square in for the Family Computer as the third installment in the Final Fantasy series. It is the first numbered Final Fantasy game to feature the job-change system....
, Famicom)
White Mage is a priestess who specializes in healing magic and who is on a mission to restore order to the world "after a great evil has swept across its surface." She was originally a candidate to be one of the Light Warriors, but was rejected by the group in favor of Red Mage. Afterwards she still followed them on their journey for most of the comic's history. There is ongoing tension with Black Mage's lustful attraction to her, usually resulting in White Mage hitting him with her hammer
Magic satchel
Magic satchel is a term often used in reference to computer role-playing games. It refers to the use of a character's inventory in the game, which can often contain more items than is physically possible for the character to carry without any visible means to hold or transport them.A similar...
, although she regularly heals his wounds out of sheer devotion to her position.
White Mage often questions her purpose in the world and fate itself for choosing a group of people to be Light Warriors who spread destruction wherever they go. She often blames herself for the results of the Light Warriors' actions. However, in the end she manages to fulfill her mission and destroy Chaos himself. As a result of a time travel accident, White Mage is also the creator of the universe.
Black Belt
First Appearance: Episode 074: Guest Appearances By...Sprite: Monk/Black Belt (Final Fantasy I, NES
Nintendo Entertainment System
The Nintendo Entertainment System is an 8-bit video game console that was released by Nintendo in North America during 1985, in Europe during 1986 and Australia in 1987...
)
Black Belt is an extremely skilled martial artist
Monk (character class)
The monk is a character class in a number of table-top role-playing and computer games. In those games which follow the Dungeons & Dragons traditions, monks are characters with martial arts skills and have very powerful strategies....
with an all but non-existent sense of orientation and the ability of defying the laws of physics simply by misunderstanding them, which rendered him capable of Münchhausenesque
Baron Munchhausen
Karl Friedrich Hieronymus, Freiherr von Münchhausen , usually known as Baron Münchhausen in English, was a German nobleman born in Bodenwerder and a famous recounter of tall tales....
feats such as walking across a pit on a rope that, unknown to him, had been untied at both ends. Early in the comic, Black Belt shows up as White Mage's loyal bodyguard, but he is later killed in the Light Warriors' battle with Kary, the Fiend of Fire.
Black Belt's teachers (who resemble Ken
Ken Masters
, originally spelled in Japanese as , is a video game character created by Capcom. As a main character, he has appeared in all of the Street Fighter games along with his best friend and rival, Ryu...
and Ryu
Ryu (Street Fighter)
is a video game player character created by Capcom, the main protagonist of the Street Fighter series. Having premiered in the first Street Fighter in 1987, Ryu appears as the lead character from the game along with his best friend Ken Masters participating in the Street Fighter tournament...
from the Street Fighter
Street Fighter
, commonly abbreviated as SF, is a series of Fighting Games developed in Japan in which the players pit the video games' competitive fighters from around the world, each with his or her own unique fighting style, against one another...
video game series) identify the fighting style they and Black Belt use as Wu Xia
Wuxia
Wuxia is a broad genre of Chinese fiction concerning the adventures of martial artists. Although wuxia is traditionally a form of literature, its popularity has caused it to spread to diverse art forms like Chinese opera, manhua , films, television series, and video games...
. Black Belt himself described the prevailing theory of his school as the credo that an opponent who is too broken to move is an opponent who is defeated.
Sarda the Sage / Chaos
First Appearance: Episode 041: It Just Got Weird in Survivor 8-bit Style Part 6 (as a child) / Episode 300: The House Always Wins (as Sarda) / Episode 1180: The Next Stage (as Chaos)Sprite: Doga (Final Fantasy III
Final Fantasy III
is a role-playing video game developed and published by Square in for the Family Computer as the third installment in the Final Fantasy series. It is the first numbered Final Fantasy game to feature the job-change system....
, Famicom
Nintendo Entertainment System
The Nintendo Entertainment System is an 8-bit video game console that was released by Nintendo in North America during 1985, in Europe during 1986 and Australia in 1987...
), modified (adult) / Onion Kid (Final Fantasy III, Famicom) (child) / Fomortiis (Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones
Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones
Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones, known in Japan as , is a tactical role-playing game for the Game Boy Advance published by Nintendo. It is the eighth game in the Fire Emblem series, the third and final game in the series to be released for the Game Boy Advance and the second game in the series to be...
) (Chaos)
Sarda, the self-proclaimed Wizard Who Did It (in reference to the common cop out "a wizard did it" as an explanation for inconsistency and plot errors
Plot hole
A plot hole, or plothole, is a gap or inconsistency in a storyline that goes against the flow of logic established by the story's plot, or constitutes a blatant omission of relevant information regarding the plot...
), is an evidently omnipotent
Omnipotence
Omnipotence is unlimited power. Monotheistic religions generally attribute omnipotence to only the deity of whichever faith is being addressed...
wizard who is able to effortlessly manipulate reality itself and will readily do so out of sheer boredom. For example, the world of 8-Bit Theater used to have 36-hour days, but Sarda reduced them to 24 simply to make everyone hurry up. He never stops to think about the consequences of his actions, citing that he wouldn't be the Wizard Who Did It if he did.
Sarda plays a much more vital role in the comic than in Final Fantasy, where a character named Sarda only serves to let the player explore one dungeon. In the comic Sarda drives the Light Warriors to recover the four Orbs, often by force and at no time concerned with the Light Warriors' chances of survival. He repeatedly sends them on suicidal missions providing them with wholly inadequate supplies, most prominently the ever-same shaky vessel of transportation, the "deathtrap." For obvious reasons, the Light Warriors harbor a strong dislike for Sarda, but choose not to argue with him for fear he will "unmake [them] before [they] were born".
Towards the end of the comic, Sarda is revealed to be a time traveller who plans to kill the Light Warriors, whose actions during the entire story led directly to his first exposure to black magic as a young child and the death of his biological family as well as several foster families. However, after absorbing the magical energy of the four elemental orbs as well as Black Mage's concentrated evil energy, he loses control and his body is possessed by Chaos, the evil Demon King that the Light Warriors are questing to defeat the entire comic. Chaos himself is eventually defeated in a deliberate anticlimax by four White Mages, a twist that was described by Brian Clevinger as "probably the longest ranged call back
Callback (comedy)
A callback, in terms of comedy, is a joke which refers to one previously told in the set. The second joke is often presented in a different context than the one which was used in the initial joke. Callbacks are usually used at or near the end of a set, as the aim is to create the biggest laugh at...
attempted by a webcomic."
The Dark Warriors
Garland
First Appearance: Episode 052: Meanwhile...Sprite: Dark Knight (Final Fantasy III
Final Fantasy III
is a role-playing video game developed and published by Square in for the Family Computer as the third installment in the Final Fantasy series. It is the first numbered Final Fantasy game to feature the job-change system....
, Famicom
Nintendo Entertainment System
The Nintendo Entertainment System is an 8-bit video game console that was released by Nintendo in North America during 1985, in Europe during 1986 and Australia in 1987...
, modified from Episode 053 on)
Garland is the first major enemy faced by the Light Warriors and a former military leader of Corneria. Despite his best attempts to become an evil villain, he is a nice and caring person who enjoys cooking and treats the Light Warriors more like guests rather than prisoners during their imprisonment in his castle. After his first failed encounter with the Light Warriors, he forms the Dark Warriors and begins a propaganda campaign against the Light Warriors.
Bikke the Pirate
First Appearance: Episode 208: Look Who's BackSprite: Thief (Final Fantasy I, NES), modified
Bikke is an incompetent and dim-witted pirate captain
Captain (nautical)
A sea captain is a licensed mariner in ultimate command of the vessel. The captain is responsible for its safe and efficient operation, including cargo operations, navigation, crew management and ensuring that the vessel complies with local and international laws, as well as company and flag...
and the second member of the Dark Warriors. He is known for his intense body odor and his tendency to speak in a clichéd pirate accent
West Country dialects
The West Country dialects and West Country accents are generic terms applied to any of several English dialects and accents used by much of the indigenous population of South West England, the area popularly known as the West Country....
. Bikke managed to let his entire crew almost die from scurvy
Scurvy
Scurvy is a disease resulting from a deficiency of vitamin C, which is required for the synthesis of collagen in humans. The chemical name for vitamin C, ascorbic acid, is derived from the Latin name of scurvy, scorbutus, which also provides the adjective scorbutic...
after feeding them nothing but Cheetos
Cheetos
Cheetos is a brand of cheese-flavored cornmeal snack made by Frito-Lay, a subsidiary of PepsiCo. Fritos creator Charles Elmer Doolin invented Cheetos in 1948, and began national distribution in the U.S. The initial success of Cheetos was a contributing factor to the merger between The Frito Company...
, which led directly to his defeat. Although he is a pirate captain, he cannot swim and, despite having two perfectly normal, functional hands, desires to be called "The Claw". He is completely illiterate
Literacy
Literacy has traditionally been described as the ability to read for knowledge, write coherently and think critically about printed material.Literacy represents the lifelong, intellectual process of gaining meaning from print...
and unable to comprehend simple arithmetic
Arithmetic
Arithmetic or arithmetics is the oldest and most elementary branch of mathematics, used by almost everyone, for tasks ranging from simple day-to-day counting to advanced science and business calculations. It involves the study of quantity, especially as the result of combining numbers...
.
Prince Drizz'l of the Dark Elves
First Appearance: Episode 268: Out on a WebSprite: Gordon (Final Fantasy II
Final Fantasy II
is a fantasy role-playing video game developed and published by Square in 1988 for the Family Computer as the second installment of the Final Fantasy series. The game has received numerous enhanced remakes for the WonderSwan Color, the Sony PlayStation, Japanese mobile phones, the Game Boy...
, Famicom), modified
Drizz'l, a Dark Elf
Dark elf
Dark elf may refer to:* Dökkálfar or dark elves, a type of elf in Norse mythology* Svartálfar or dark elves, a type of elf in Norse mythology* Moriquendi, a fictional race of elves in J. R. R. Tolkien's legendarium...
and the son of King Astos, is the third member of the Dark Warriors. His name, a parody of the name of Drizzt Do'Urden
Drizzt Do'Urden
Drizzt Do'Urden is a fictional character in the Forgotten Realms campaign setting for the Dungeons & Dragons fantasy role-playing game. Drizzt was created by author R. A. Salvatore as a supporting character in the Icewind Dale Trilogy. Salvatore created him on a whim when his publisher needed to...
, roughly translates from Elven into "The Relentless Scourge." Drizz'l is a sword master equal to Fighter and controlled a pack of giant spiders before he was defeated by the Light Warriors in Marsh Cave. Drizz'l considers himself the most intelligent of the Dark Warriors, although his inherent Elven arrogance often gets the better of him.
Vilbert von Vampire
First Appearance: Episode 366: Evil Has a NameSprite: Scholar (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Vilbert, the son of Lich, is a vampire and a clichéd goth
Goth subculture
The goth subculture is a contemporary subculture found in many countries. It began in England during the early 1980s in the gothic rock scene, an offshoot of the post-punk genre. The goth subculture has survived much longer than others of the same era, and has continued to diversify...
live action role-player
Live action role-playing game
A live action role-playing game is a form of role-playing game where the participants physically act out their characters' actions. The players pursue goals within a fictional setting represented by the real world, while interacting with each other in character. The outcome of player actions may...
who, prior to meeting the Light Warriors, lived in his parents' basement.
The Cultists
First Appearance: Episode 523: The Doom That Came to Ice CaveSprite: Black Wizard (Final Fantasy, NES; modified)
The Cultists are a doom cult
Destructive cult
A destructive cult is a religion or other group which has caused or has a high probability of causing harm to its own members or to others. Some researchers define "harm" in this case with a narrow focus, specifically groups which have deliberately physically injured or killed other individuals,...
whose true name "cannot be said or written without driving you mad." and who the Light Warriors have encountered and defeated twice. They dwell in extremely remote areas and worship ancient beings that are reminiscent of the ones found in H. P. Lovecraft
H. P. Lovecraft
Howard Phillips Lovecraft --often credited as H.P. Lovecraft — was an American author of horror, fantasy and science fiction, especially the subgenre known as weird fiction....
's Cthulhu Mythos
Cthulhu Mythos
The Cthulhu Mythos is a shared fictional universe, based on the work of American horror writer H. P. Lovecraft.The term was first coined by August Derleth, a contemporary correspondent of Lovecraft, who used the name of the creature Cthulhu - a central figure in Lovecraft literature and the focus...
. The Cultists induce new members by beheading them and implanting the larva of an "Old One" in the body, where it matures, giving the Cultists the appearance of a humanoid being with long tentacles in the lower half of their faces; their look and method of reproduction makes the Cultists resemble illithid
Illithid
In the Dungeons & Dragons fantasy role-playing game, illithids are monstrous humanoid aberrations with psionic powers. In a typical Dungeons & Dragons campaign setting, they live in the moist caverns and cities of the enormous Underdark...
s or Mind Flayers, fictional monsters from the roleplaying game Dungeons & Dragons
Dungeons & Dragons
Dungeons & Dragons is a fantasy role-playing game originally designed by Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson, and first published in 1974 by Tactical Studies Rules, Inc. . The game has been published by Wizards of the Coast since 1997...
. The Cultists take pleasure in disturbing paraphilia
Paraphilia
Paraphilia is a biomedical term used to describe sexual arousal to objects, situations, or individuals that are not part of normative stimulation and that may cause distress or serious problems for the paraphiliac or persons associated with him or her...
(especially those that carry taboos). All of the Cultists have names that are pronounced similarly to female names, such as L'zlhe (Leslie), Lv'rn (Laverne), or Suh'zahne (Suzanne).
Among the ancient entities the cultists worship is Ur, the Fiend of Water. After the Light Warriors defeated them, they accidentally used the cultists' ancient "end of the world formula" and summoned Ur by invoking his true name, Jnn'efur (Jennifer).
The Fiends
The Fiends are evil elemental beings, far stronger than regular monsters. They guard the orbs the four elements are tied to. After their defeats, all the Fiends entered Hell one by one and gathered there until they were eventually summoned back, only to be killed shortly afterwards.In the Final Fantasy video game, the Fiends served as major bosses. They consisted of Lich (Earth), Kary/Marilith (Fire), Kraken (Water) and Tiamat (Air/Wind), and each of them also had to be defeated twice, once during the normal course of the game and once in the game's final area.
Lich, Fiend of Earth
First Appearance: Episode 380: Introducing...Sprite: Black Wizard (Final Fantasy, NES; modified)
Lich
Lich
In modern fantasy fiction, a lich is a type of undead creature. Often such a creature is the result of a transformation, as a powerful magician or king striving for eternal life uses spells or rituals to bind his intellect to his animated corpse and thereby achieve a form of immortality...
is an undead, immortal wizard and self-proclaimed "Master Bonecraftsman" who believes all things live to die and that the dead exist to serve him. He confronts the Light Warriors after they defeated his son Vilbert and kills Black Mage. During the battle, the Light Warriors discover Lich has stored his soul
Phylactery
Phylactery may refer to:* An amulet or charm.* English name for Tefillin, a pair of small black leather boxes containing scrolls of parchment inscribed with verses from the Torah, which are worn by observant Jews during weekday morning prayers....
in the Earth Orb, rendering him immortal. He is eventually defeated when Thief "steals" his soul out of the Earth Orb and Black Mage, who emerges as the new ruler of Hell, banishes Lich to the underworld, where he promptly ousts Black Mage from his position and takes his place as the ruler of Hell. Lich's departing words were "Death is but a door, time is but a window; I'll be back", a direct quote from Ghostbusters 2.
Kary, Fiend of Fire
First Appearance: Episode 466: Trigger HappyKary appears as a woman with six arms and the lower body of a snake. She guards the Orb of Fire and is extremely hot-headed, demonstrated by her killing all her minions with little, if any, provocation. During her battle with the Light Warriors, she kills Black Belt, but is defeated when the Light Warriors manage to stuff her into a bag of holding
Bag of holding
A bag of holding is a fictional magical item in the Dungeons & Dragons roleplaying game, capable of containing objects larger than its own size. Since its introduction, it has appeared in other roleplaying games and media.-Description:...
and cast Ice-9, an enormously powerful Ice spell that causes all thermodynamic activity in the universe to cease (and a reference to the Kurt Vonnegut novel Cat's Cradle
Cat's Cradle
Cat's Cradle is the fourth novel by American writer Kurt Vonnegut, first published in 1963. It explores issues of science, technology, and religion, satirizing the arms race and many other targets along the way...
) into the bag.
Ur, Fiend of Water
First Appearance: Episode 753: Day of the Tentacle (vessel), Episode 764: Red October (actual)Ur, the Fiend of Water, is an ancient entity worshiped by the Cultists that Fighter accidentally summons by invoking his true name, Jnn'efur. Initially it appears as a large chaotic mass of sticky tentacles that engulfs Red Mage just before he can reveal the Fiend's weakness. However, Ur is defeated rather anticlimactically when, just before he can bring about the apocalypse, Red Mage cuts his way out of him with a sword.
Ur represents the fiend Kraken from the game. While it is only ever called Ur in the comic, Red Mage does note that Ur is "your basic Kraken
Kraken
Kraken are legendary sea monsters of giant proportions said to have dwelt off the coasts of Norway and Iceland.In modern German, Krake means octopus but can also refer to the legendary Kraken...
oid". Brian Clevinger
Brian Clevinger
Brian Clevinger is an American writer best known as the author of the webcomic 8-Bit Theater and the Eisner-nominated print comic Atomic Robo...
notes that either name is valid.
Muffin, Fiend of Air
First Appearance: Episode 907: Animal CompanionSprite: Idoun, the Demon Dragon (Fire Emblem: Fūin no Tsurugi
Fire Emblem: Fuin no Tsurugi
is a tactical role-playing game developed by Intelligent Systems and published by Nintendo. The game was released on March 29, 2002 in Japan, is the sixth game in the Fire Emblem series and the first of three games in the series that have appeared on Nintendo's Game Boy Advance handheld. Its...
, GBA
Game Boy Advance
The is a 32-bit handheld video game console developed, manufactured, and marketed by Nintendo. It is the successor to the Game Boy Color. It was released in Japan on March 21, 2001; in North America on June 11, 2001; in Australia and Europe on June 22, 2001; and in the People's Republic of China...
)
Muffin, the owner of both the flying Sky Castle and the Orb of Air, is a dragon
Dragon
A dragon is a legendary creature, typically with serpentine or reptilian traits, that feature in the myths of many cultures. There are two distinct cultural traditions of dragons: the European dragon, derived from European folk traditions and ultimately related to Greek and Middle Eastern...
who Dragoon considers his "pet parrot", having never seen a parrot or a dragon before, and believing her lie about her species. Muffin had established the order of Dragon Knights ten thousand years ago in order to kill the other dragons, allowing her to take their powers, treasure, and knowledge. Afterward, she slaughtered the dragoons so they would not learn of her plot. When the Light Warriors attack Muffin's Sky Castle, Dragoon kills her with a spear through the head.
Muffin is the comic's version of Tiamat, the Fiend of Wind from Final Fantasy. She is never directly referred to as Tiamat, but Dragoon indicates that Muffin may not be her real name.
King Astos of the Dark Elves
First Appearance: Episode 245: Wheels Within WheelsSprite: Thief (Final Fantasy, NES), modified
Astos, originally a boss in the first Final Fantasy game, is the father of Drizz'l. He planned to drive Elfland into a civil war by overthrowing the currently ruling Elven clan, using the alias "Chancellor Usurper
Usurper
Usurper is a derogatory term used to describe either an illegitimate or controversial claimant to the power; often, but not always in a monarchy, or a person who succeeds in establishing himself as a monarch without inheriting the throne, or any other person exercising authority unconstitutionally...
of Clan Sahn'ta
Santa Claus
Santa Claus is a folklore figure in various cultures who distributes gifts to children, normally on Christmas Eve. Each name is a variation of Saint Nicholas, but refers to Santa Claus...
" to get close to the king and Prince Elf (Thief). He had the king poisoned and put into a coma to this end.
In a stroke of luck, Thief and the Light Warriors overheard Astos dictating his plot to himself. The next day, the Light Warriors confronted Astos. They never got around to an epic battle, however, as Astos was killed by a bad pun from Black Mage. He turned out to carry both Matoya's Crystal Eye and the formula for an antidote for King Elf.
The Ordeals
First Appearance: Episode 608: Teleporting never screws anyoneSprite: Kraken (Final Fantasy III, NES; Greed), Dracocotta (Final Fantasy III, NES; Sloth), Black Mage (Final Fantasy, NES; Atrocity), Spirit Naga/Grey Naga (Final Fantasy, NES; Pride), Lunasaur/Lunasaurus (Final Fantasy IV
Final Fantasy IV
is a role-playing video game developed and published by Square in 1991 as a part of the Final Fantasy series. The game was originally released for the Super Famicom in Japan and has since then been rereleased for many other platforms with varying modifications. An enhanced remake with 3D graphics...
, SNES
Super Nintendo Entertainment System
The Super Nintendo Entertainment System is a 16-bit video game console that was released by Nintendo in North America, Europe, Australasia , and South America between 1990 and 1993. In Japan and Southeast Asia, the system is called the , or SFC for short...
; Zombie Dragon)
In the Castle of Ordeals, each of the Light Warriors had to deal with a manifestation of the worst flaw in their personality, three of them being one of the seven deadly sins
Seven deadly sins
The 7 Deadly Sins, also known as the Capital Vices or Cardinal Sins, is a classification of objectionable vices that have been used since early Christian times to educate and instruct followers concerning fallen humanity's tendency to sin...
. While Fighter had to contend his Sloth
Sloth (deadly sin)
In the Christian moral tradition, sloth is one of the seven capital sins, often called the seven deadly sins; these sins are called sins because they supposedly destroy the charity in a person's heart and thus may lead to eternal death.-Definition:Sloth is defined as spiritual or emotional...
, Red Mage his Pride
Pride
Pride is an inwardly directed emotion that carries two common meanings. With a negative connotation, pride refers to an inflated sense of one's personal status or accomplishments, often used synonymously with hubris...
, and Thief his Greed, Black Mage encountered a doppelgänger
Doppelgänger
In fiction and folklore, a doppelgänger is a paranormal double of a living person, typically representing evil or misfortune...
, as the only thing that could represent his evil was himself. The final Ordeal was a giant Zombie Dragon, to which Red Mage comments that "a giant Zombie Dragon has little relation to facing one's own inner struggles". As in Final Fantasy
Final Fantasy (video game)
is a fantasy role-playing video game created by Hironobu Sakaguchi, developed and first published in Japan by Square in 1987. It is the first game in Square's Final Fantasy series...
, defeating it earned the Light Warriors a Rat's Tail, which they exchanged for a class change.
Princess Sara
First Appearance: Episode 052: Meanwhile...Sprites: Aria (modified) and Princess Sarah (both Final Fantasy III, Famicom)
The daughter of King Steve and Queen Jane and the heir to the Cornerian throne, Princess Sara, had already been kidnapped about six times by the time Garland got to her. Her rescue is the first mission that King Steve gives to the Light Warriors. Although she appears to be a respectable princess, Sara hides a calculating and bloodthirsty nature and uses her time as Garland's "prisoner" to coach him into becoming a proper villain. After her "rescue", she resumes life in Corneria, later turns down an offer to join the Dark Warriors, declaring them hopeless, usurps the rulership of the Kingdom from her clueless father and runs the kingdom without his knowledge.
King Steve
First Appearance: Episode 058: Government At WorkSprite: Prince Alus (Final Fantasy III, NES; modified)
King Steve is the father of Princess Sara and ruler of Corneria. He recruits the Light Warriors to rescue his daughter, Sara, from Garland. Steve initially sends hundreds of "light warriors" on his errand, surmising that the chosen ones, being destined to save the world, would prevail and those who were not the chosen ones would die off; he was oblivious to the many deaths this would cause, and once informed was still dismissive of this fact. Steve is a capricious and entirely delusional despot
Despotism
Despotism is a form of government in which a single entity rules with absolute power. That entity may be an individual, as in an autocracy, or it may be a group, as in an oligarchy...
with only a tenuous grip on reality who, among other things, has devastated his country in an attempt to drill for mana (a reference to FFVII's mining for materia), believed he was running for election against a length of string (ignoring the fact that Corneria is a monarchy
Monarchy
A monarchy is a form of government in which the office of head of state is usually held until death or abdication and is often hereditary and includes a royal house. In some cases, the monarch is elected...
) and made a coffee stain ("Rodney") his right hand man. Following the conclusion of the Sara kidnapping arc, Steve has not been involved in the main story, but he continues to make frequent appearances in the comic, his adventures often serving as a sideline to the main story.
Dr. Swordopolis
First Appearance: Episode 083: A Shout Out to All You Web-Heads Out ThereSprites: Dymlos (Tales of Destiny
Tales of Destiny
is a video game in the RPG genre published for the PlayStation console by Namco on December 23, 1997 in Japan, selling 1,139,000 copies. Tales of Destiny's characteristic genre name is...
, PlayStation
PlayStation
The is a 32-bit fifth-generation video game console first released by Sony Computer Entertainment in Japan on December 3, .The PlayStation was the first of the PlayStation series of consoles and handheld game devices. The PlayStation 2 was the console's successor in 2000...
), modified
Dr. Swordopolis is the very incarnation of all things sword. He appears to Fighter in visions, taking the form of a bespectacled sword and bringing cryptic and oft-ignored advice. His secret agenda throughout the comic is to bring Fighter to kill Black Mage in order to prevent the latter becoming a portal for Chaos to enter the world, a plan the naive Fighter never quite catches on to.
Matoya
First Appearance: Episode 172: The Inhabitant of the CaveSprite: White Magic Seller (Final Fantasy, NES; recolored)
Matoya is a blind witch who sends the Light Warriors on a side-quest to regain her magic eye after feeding them poisoned nightmare-inducing cookies, promising them an antidote if they return with it. Due to her poor hearing, she also grants Fighter the Armoire of Invincibility, instead of the Armor of Invincibility Fighter was actually searching for (although Fighter did not seem to notice or care). She is almost as greedy as Thief and once almost tricked Thief into paying her the entire kingdom of Elfland in return for his father's cure. Matoya has an overtly sexual relationship with Bahamut, the Dragon God-King, much to the disgust and horror of the Light Warriors.
The Other Warriors
The Other Warriors are a band of adventurers based on Dungeons & DragonsDungeons & Dragons
Dungeons & Dragons is a fantasy role-playing game originally designed by Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson, and first published in 1974 by Tactical Studies Rules, Inc. . The game has been published by Wizards of the Coast since 1997...
character classes who travel the world. They occasionally met the Light Warriors on their journey, were involved with obtaining the Orb of Air and were eventually killed by Sarda.
Generic Half-Elven Dual-Class Ranger
First Appearance: Episode 435: He's a Fighter, Not a DiplomatSprite: Bard (Final Fantasy III, Famicom)
Ranger is very poetic and adventurous, as well as extremely friendly and trusting, though a bit naïve. He is capable of firing multiple arrows at once with uncanny accuracy and is able to use four bows at once, being a dual-class ranger/ranger. Ranger's heritage combines elven, human and orcish
Half-orc
The half-orc is a creature born to mixed orc and human parentage in the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game. The half-orc is a playable race for D&D player characters. Half-orcs are typically born in wild frontiers where human and orc tribes come into contact. Half-orcs are between six and seven...
blood.
Berserker Axinhed
First Appearance: Episode 437: CompanionSprite: Viking (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Berserker
Barbarian (Dungeons & Dragons)
The barbarian is a playable character class in the Dungeons & Dragons fantasy role-playing game.-Creative origins:The barbarian is based on Robert E...
is a dwarf with two distinct personalities
Dissociative identity disorder
Dissociative identity disorder is a psychiatric diagnosis and describes a condition in which a person displays multiple distinct identities , each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment....
, one civilized and gentle and the other a raging, furious warrior. His calm side is characterized by polite and eloquent conversation and wearing a monocle
Monocle
A monocle is a type of corrective lens used to correct or enhance the vision in only one eye. It consists of a circular lens, generally with a wire ring around the circumference that can be attached to a string. The other end of the string is then connected to the wearer's clothing to avoid losing...
; when entering a rage, the monocle falls off and he begins swearing and shouting incoherently while mauling whoever happens to stand nearby. He seems unaware of his split personality and unable to remember his actions in the respective other state.
Cleric
First Appearance: Episode 446: "Stand Up Next to a Mountain..." (mentioned), Episode 577: So Many Warriors (actual)Sprite: Summoner (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
A "miracle shopper" who makes deals with the gods. In order to keep an open market, Cleric prefers not to devote himself to one single deity and is, in fact, an atheist
Atheism
Atheism is, in a broad sense, the rejection of belief in the existence of deities. In a narrower sense, atheism is specifically the position that there are no deities...
. His use of divine intervention is often faulty and unreliable. Cleric made a deal with a Trickster God named Raven to bring Thief back to life; in return, Raven bestowed him with a "healing shiv
Shiv (weapon)
A shiv is a slang term for any sharp or pointed implement used as a knife-like weapon. However, the word in practical usage is frequently used when referring to an improvised bladed weapon. Shivs are commonly made by inmates in prisons across the world...
", which has shown its worth in bringing Thief back from the very brink of death.
Rogue
First Appearance: Episode 446: "Stand Up Next to a Mountain..." (mentioned), Episode 578: One More Look Into The Mind Of Fighter (actual)Sprite: Thief (Final Fantasy III, Famicom)
Like Thief, Rogue is constantly scamming people, including his own teammates. However, unlike Thief, who conducts his business through contracts and legal loopholes, Rogue relies on a network of shady contacts, one of whom is Thief himself. His catch phrase is "I may know a guy..."
Bahamut
First Appearance: Episode 569: What Dragon?Sprite: Bahamut (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Bahamut is the God-King of Dragons who was awakened by Black Mage, although Fighter was blamed for doing so. He offered to give the Light Warriors "the power of self-realization and the power that comes with it" in exchange for the tail of the dreaded Dire Rat. When the Light Warriors brought him such a tail from the Castle of Ordeals, he granted their Class Changes. It later turned out that the reason Bahamut desired a rat tail was that rat tail soup is a potent virility drug, to be concocted by his girlfriend, Matoya. According to Muffin, Bahamut will slumber until the prophecy of the Enlightened Warrior is fulfilled in order to usher in the end of the world. Red Mage thus suspects that in attempting to save the world, they may have accidentally endangered it.
The Dark God
First Appearance: Episode 654: OminousSprite: Magus (Chrono Trigger
Chrono Trigger
is a role-playing video game developed and published by Square for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System in 1995. Chrono Triggers development team included three designers that Square dubbed the "Dream Team": Hironobu Sakaguchi, the creator of Square's Final Fantasy series; Yuji Horii, a...
, SNES
Super Nintendo Entertainment System
The Super Nintendo Entertainment System is a 16-bit video game console that was released by Nintendo in North America, Europe, Australasia , and South America between 1990 and 1993. In Japan and Southeast Asia, the system is called the , or SFC for short...
)
The only one of the Dark Gods Black Mage worships to appear to him, the Dark God made his class change effective. The Dark God's name, if any, has not been revealed, so Black Mage himself makes up the name "Darko, the Dark God of the Dark" in an attempt to convince his friends that he had really met a dark god. His official title is "Executive Assistant to Chaos", being one of many middle management deities in the organization of evil, and his plan was to guide Black Mage to overload himself with magic energy to the point where he'd become a portal for Chaos to enter the world. Thanks to Black Mage's incompetence, the plan failed.
Dragoon
First Appearance: Episode 787: Course changeSprite: Dragoon (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Dragoon is the last of the Dragon Knights, an elite group of spear-carrying warriors who attack by jumping high in the air and coming down on their opponents. Dragoon uses this technique as a travel method, but is unable to perform these jumps without having a target. His usual target is Black Mage, although he does not harbour any ill will against the Light Warriors. In fact, he is extremely polite towards them, remaining oblivious to the considerable pain his travel method causes. Dragoon has encountered the team several times, mostly in passing. Like the Light Warriors, he was looking for the Air Orb that the Other Warriors seemingly stole from him and which he means to use to rebuild the Order of Dragon Knights. He had since been seen with White Mage and Sarda's younger self, before being teleported to the Moon by Sarda. Sometime in the following years, he joined Red Mage's support group for lone survivors of secret societies (Sects Buddies) after returning from the moon.
Dragoon had a pet dragon named Muffin (who was actually the Fiend of Air) whom, like all dragons, he believed to be a parrot
Parrot
Parrots, also known as psittacines , are birds of the roughly 372 species in 86 genera that make up the order Psittaciformes, found in most tropical and subtropical regions. The order is subdivided into three families: the Psittacidae , the Cacatuidae and the Strigopidae...
.
Warmech
First Appearance: Episode 986: 1/64Sprite: Warmech/Death Machine (Final Fantasy, NES)
Warmech is a robot and was the Sky Castle's guardian until it was blown up. He wants revenge on the Light Warriors for ridding him of his job, but his own incompetence prevents him from doing so. In his insanity, he follows the Light Warriors in a very transparent disguise as a human, but is outwitted again.
In Final Fantasy, the Warmech/Death Machine was the strongest regular enemy and a precursor of later games' superbosses
Boss (video games)
A boss is an enemy-based challenge which is found in video games. A fight with a boss character is commonly referred to as a boss battle or boss fight...
. The title of the episode in which he first appears refers to the chance of encountering one in a certain area of the Sky Castle/Flying Fortress dungeon.