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Collar (BDSM)
Encyclopedia
In a BDSM
context, a collar is a device of any material placed around the neck of the submissive
partner. It is also a term used to show ownership of one partner by another. A person wearing a collar to symbolize their relationship with another is said to be collared. Some people conduct formal "collaring ceremonies," which are regarded as effectively solemnizing their relationship in a similar way as a marriage ceremony
. The standard form of a collar is a black leather
band around the neck and often has metal
D-ring
s added to allow the attachment of a leash
.
Collars may be used in role-playing games involving humiliation because they have connotations of control and pet
-like status, especially when worn with a leash
.
The most common material for a collar is leather
, and many people use actual dog
collars with a buckle
. Other materials include rubber
, PVC
, and metal
(typically stainless steel
; however, a few sources offer precious metal versions). Many collars are constructed with several different materials, and may also be decorated in various ways. Collars often feature buckle
s, strap
s and hooks
, padlock
s and other attachments.
is a special kind of collar fitted with long spikes. Such collars were originally used to protect dogs from wolves, but wolf collars have now been adopted by the BDSM community. However, the spikes are considered to be dangerous, and therefore such collars are used with care. Some wolf collars have the spikes coated in plastic for added protection.
is a type of posture collar
that incorporates stays
. It is a corset-like device designed for the neck
instead of the waist
, but usually it is not used to compress the neck in the way that a normal corset compresses the waist, except in breathplay.
Stays incorporated in a neck corset are specially made shorter ones, used to support the weight of the head on the shoulders, while its corset structure helps in maintaining posture
by keeping the chin high and the neck extended. It is often combined with a traditional corset in order to achieve better posture.
Some neck corsets are designed to cover the mouth
, and they are primarily used in BDSM
, because they can be used as gags
. These devices are often called mouth corsets.
, and that the wearer has been formally collared. It may also be a potently tangible symbol of the relationship itself or of the ownership
the submissive is held in. A lockable
collar may further symbolize a transfer of power
from the submissive to the dominant holding the key.
Some submissives do not wear their collars all the time; as a fashion accessory
they are becoming more common, but not sufficiently so that they would go unnoticed, particularly if worn by men. Many choose to wear their collars only when in private with their partners, or with other members of the BDSM community.
Collars can be made from lighter materials such as cotton, or heavier materials such as leather. Steel collars are also worn by some and lockable (metal) necklaces are also regarded as a form of collar. A very few even choose to wear permanently locking collars (these click into place and have no unlocking key), that cannot be removed except by cutting the steel.
As BDSM practices are moving from the old guard leather community
into middle class society, the role of the collar has also changed. Increasingly couples who also practice 24/7 Dominance and submission relationships adopt collars that can be mistaken as ordinary choker
s or jewelry necklace
s and can be worn discreetly in public. Such items are often referred to as everyday collars in BDSM parlance. Further evolution of this migration has had groups which actively practice BDSM
in a relationship but where roles are switched or not as clear as in a traditional D/s relationship. The practice of joint collaring has emerged, where both wear a collar to show their devotion to the other one and to their lifestyle. Generally the collars look alike and/or are inscribed with vows to each other, and in this instance their significance may be similar to that of a wedding ring
.
The practice of using three stages of collaring is informally followed by some in the BDSM community. Under this system, the collar of consideration is the first and roughly analogous to a pre-engagement ring. This collar could be removed at any time by the submissive with no ill will and the relationship thereby ended. The training collar is roughly analogous to an engagement ring
and indicates a deepening relationship in which the submissive is being prepared by the dominant to serve to the standards the dominant wishes. Again, the submissive may ask to be released but the break is considered more serious and painful for both parties. Finally, the slave collar is analogous to a wedding band and at this point the submissive is considered a formal slave and owned by the dominant. Among some in the leather community this is considered permanent with no chance to end unless the submissive was released by the dominant for some exceptional reason. Simple failure of service was not adequate since that showed a failure on the part of the dominant as well as the slave. As with engagement and wedding rings there are traditions with collars in regard to the materials and colors that are appropriate to each type, usually becoming more elaborate.
House collars are also used in clubs, homes and in organizations that provide social spaces to protect submissives. House collars show that the submissive is under the guidance of the house and is not to be approached. This is often used with inexperienced submissives who are not ready to make their own choices yet and need time to learn.
Velcro collar is an increasingly common term, used derisively. The old guard leather community was very protocol oriented and stressed serious lifestyle involvement because of safety issues. More recently, however, email, Internet chat rooms and instant messaging services allowed the curious to participate in casual (and often anonymous) D/s relationships online. The velcro
reference indicates the tendency for online dominants and submissives to have new online collaring ceremonies frequently and without regard for existing relationships which end as easily as not logging in.
In more mainstream culture and especially in pornography
, images depicting women wearing collars are common regardless of whether these women are intended to be depicted as submissive or dominant.
Collars and other alternative clothing can also be found in certain subcultures such as goth, punk, Japanese anime and manga culture, or the furry fandom
. These collars vary according to the expression wanted by the people who wear them. In Goth and old-school Punk culture the collars are often similar to wolf collars mentioned above and match their other spike adorned accessories such as bracelets. In the anime, manga and Furry fandom cultures, the collars and wristbands are more often bright and friendly in the design, looking like described in the fashion section above, and though it may also mean they are into BDSM, or have another kind of sexual identity, it is also often used as a subtle rebellion to dominant (regular, mainstream, etc.) society.
BDSM
BDSM is an erotic preference and a form of sexual expression involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role-play. The compound acronym BDSM is derived from the terms bondage and discipline , dominance and submission , and sadism and masochism...
context, a collar is a device of any material placed around the neck of the submissive
Bottom (BDSM)
In BDSM, a bottom or submissive is the partner in a BDSM relationship or a BDSM scene who takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role, to that of the top or dominant....
partner. It is also a term used to show ownership of one partner by another. A person wearing a collar to symbolize their relationship with another is said to be collared. Some people conduct formal "collaring ceremonies," which are regarded as effectively solemnizing their relationship in a similar way as a marriage ceremony
Wedding
A wedding is the ceremony in which two people are united in marriage or a similar institution. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes...
. The standard form of a collar is a black leather
Leather
Leather is a durable and flexible material created via the tanning of putrescible animal rawhide and skin, primarily cattlehide. It can be produced through different manufacturing processes, ranging from cottage industry to heavy industry.-Forms:...
band around the neck and often has metal
Metal
A metal , is an element, compound, or alloy that is a good conductor of both electricity and heat. Metals are usually malleable and shiny, that is they reflect most of incident light...
D-ring
D-ring
A D-ring is an item of hardware, usually a metal ring shaped like the letter D. It may be used at the end of a leather or fabric strap, or may be secured to a surface with a metal or fabric strap...
s added to allow the attachment of a leash
Leash (BDSM)
In a BDSM context, a leash or lead is a length of rope, leather, chain, or other flexible material symbolically worn by the submissive partner...
.
Collars may be used in role-playing games involving humiliation because they have connotations of control and pet
Human animal roleplay
Animal roleplay may be either a non-sexual or an erotic sexual role-play...
-like status, especially when worn with a leash
Leash (BDSM)
In a BDSM context, a leash or lead is a length of rope, leather, chain, or other flexible material symbolically worn by the submissive partner...
.
Construction and appearance
Leather
Leather is a durable and flexible material created via the tanning of putrescible animal rawhide and skin, primarily cattlehide. It can be produced through different manufacturing processes, ranging from cottage industry to heavy industry.-Forms:...
, and many people use actual dog
Dog
The domestic dog is a domesticated form of the gray wolf, a member of the Canidae family of the order Carnivora. The term is used for both feral and pet varieties. The dog may have been the first animal to be domesticated, and has been the most widely kept working, hunting, and companion animal in...
collars with a buckle
Buckle
The buckle or clasp is a device used for fastening two loose ends, with one end attached to it and the other held by a catch in a secure but adjustable manner. Usually overlooked and taken for granted, the invention of the buckle has been indispensable in securing two ends before the invention of...
. Other materials include rubber
Rubber
Natural rubber, also called India rubber or caoutchouc, is an elastomer that was originally derived from latex, a milky colloid produced by some plants. The plants would be ‘tapped’, that is, an incision made into the bark of the tree and the sticky, milk colored latex sap collected and refined...
, PVC
Polyvinyl chloride
Polyvinyl chloride, commonly abbreviated PVC, is a thermoplastic polymer. It is a vinyl polymer constructed of repeating vinyl groups having one hydrogen replaced by chloride. Polyvinyl chloride is the third most widely produced plastic, after polyethylene and polypropylene. PVC is widely used in...
, and metal
Metal
A metal , is an element, compound, or alloy that is a good conductor of both electricity and heat. Metals are usually malleable and shiny, that is they reflect most of incident light...
(typically stainless steel
Stainless steel
In metallurgy, stainless steel, also known as inox steel or inox from French "inoxydable", is defined as a steel alloy with a minimum of 10.5 or 11% chromium content by mass....
; however, a few sources offer precious metal versions). Many collars are constructed with several different materials, and may also be decorated in various ways. Collars often feature buckle
Buckle
The buckle or clasp is a device used for fastening two loose ends, with one end attached to it and the other held by a catch in a secure but adjustable manner. Usually overlooked and taken for granted, the invention of the buckle has been indispensable in securing two ends before the invention of...
s, strap
Strap
A strap, sometimes also called strop, is an elongated flap or ribbon, usually of fabric or leather.Thin straps are used as part of clothing or baggage, or bedding such as a sleeping bag. See for example spaghetti strap, shoulder strap...
s and hooks
D-ring
A D-ring is an item of hardware, usually a metal ring shaped like the letter D. It may be used at the end of a leather or fabric strap, or may be secured to a surface with a metal or fabric strap...
, padlock
Padlock
Padlocks are portable locks used to protect against theft, vandalism, sabotage, unauthorized use, and harm. They are designed to protect against some degree of forced and surreptitious entry.- History :...
s and other attachments.
Wolf collars
A wolf collarWolf collar
A wolf collar is a type of dog collar that is designed to protect dogs from wolves. Wolf collars are fitted with elongated spikes to stop wolves from attacking dogs on the neck. Such collars are mainly used in countries such as Turkey and Spain, where they are known as carlancas.-Use:A wolf collar...
is a special kind of collar fitted with long spikes. Such collars were originally used to protect dogs from wolves, but wolf collars have now been adopted by the BDSM community. However, the spikes are considered to be dangerous, and therefore such collars are used with care. Some wolf collars have the spikes coated in plastic for added protection.
Neck corset
A neck corsetNeck corset
A neck corset is special type of corset which is worn fitted around the neck instead of around the waist as of with ordinary corset...
is a type of posture collar
Posture collar
A posture collar is a rigid collar that is wide enough to restrict movement of the neck. Posture collars help in maintaining posture by keeping the chin high and the neck extended...
that incorporates stays
Bone (corsetry)
In corsetry, a bone is one of the rigid parts of a corset that forms its frame and gives it rigidity.-Purpose, history and materials:The purpose of the boning in a corset varies slightly from era to era....
. It is a corset-like device designed for the neck
Neck
The neck is the part of the body, on many terrestrial or secondarily aquatic vertebrates, that distinguishes the head from the torso or trunk. The adjective signifying "of the neck" is cervical .-Boner anatomy: The cervical spine:The cervical portion of the human spine comprises seven boney...
instead of the waist
Waist
The waist is the part of the abdomen between the rib cage and hips. On proportionate people, the waist is the narrowest part of the torso....
, but usually it is not used to compress the neck in the way that a normal corset compresses the waist, except in breathplay.
Stays incorporated in a neck corset are specially made shorter ones, used to support the weight of the head on the shoulders, while its corset structure helps in maintaining posture
Human position
Human positions refers to the different positions that the human body can take.There are several synonyms that refer to the human position, often used interchangeably, but having specific flavors....
by keeping the chin high and the neck extended. It is often combined with a traditional corset in order to achieve better posture.
Some neck corsets are designed to cover the mouth
Mouth
The mouth is the first portion of the alimentary canal that receives food andsaliva. The oral mucosa is the mucous membrane epithelium lining the inside of the mouth....
, and they are primarily used in BDSM
BDSM
BDSM is an erotic preference and a form of sexual expression involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role-play. The compound acronym BDSM is derived from the terms bondage and discipline , dominance and submission , and sadism and masochism...
, because they can be used as gags
Gag (BDSM)
A gag is sometimes worn during some bondage and BDSM roleplays. Gags are usually associated with roleplays involving bondage, but that is not necessarily the case. The person who wears the gag is regarded as the submissive partner, while the one not wearing one is regarded as the dominant...
. These devices are often called mouth corsets.
Social significance
Collars have varying degrees of significance for people in the BDSM community. A person wearing a collar may wish by doing so to make it known that he or she is submissive. Wearing a collar may similarly be a signal to others that the submissive is "owned" by or is in a relationship with a dominantTop (BDSM)
In BDSM, a top or dominant is the partner in a BDSM relationship or in a BDSM scene who takes the active or controlling role over that of the bottom or submissive partner....
, and that the wearer has been formally collared. It may also be a potently tangible symbol of the relationship itself or of the ownership
Ownership
Ownership is the state or fact of exclusive rights and control over property, which may be an object, land/real estate or intellectual property. Ownership involves multiple rights, collectively referred to as title, which may be separated and held by different parties. The concept of ownership has...
the submissive is held in. A lockable
Lock (device)
A lock is a mechanical or electronic fastening device that is released by a physical object or secret information , or combination of more than one of these....
collar may further symbolize a transfer of power
Power (sociology)
Power is a measurement of an entity's ability to control its environment, including the behavior of other entities. The term authority is often used for power perceived as legitimate by the social structure. Power can be seen as evil or unjust, but the exercise of power is accepted as endemic to...
from the submissive to the dominant holding the key.
Some submissives do not wear their collars all the time; as a fashion accessory
Fashion accessory
Fashion accessories are decorative items that supplement and complement clothes, such as jewelery, gloves, handbags, hats, belts, scarves, wigs, watches, sunglasses, pins, stockings, bow ties, hand fans, leg warmers, leggings, neckties, suspenders, and tights....
they are becoming more common, but not sufficiently so that they would go unnoticed, particularly if worn by men. Many choose to wear their collars only when in private with their partners, or with other members of the BDSM community.
Collars can be made from lighter materials such as cotton, or heavier materials such as leather. Steel collars are also worn by some and lockable (metal) necklaces are also regarded as a form of collar. A very few even choose to wear permanently locking collars (these click into place and have no unlocking key), that cannot be removed except by cutting the steel.
As BDSM practices are moving from the old guard leather community
Leather subculture
The leather subculture denotes practices and styles of dress organized around sexual activities. Wearing leather garments is one way that participants in this culture self-consciously distinguish themselves from mainstream sexual cultures...
into middle class society, the role of the collar has also changed. Increasingly couples who also practice 24/7 Dominance and submission relationships adopt collars that can be mistaken as ordinary choker
Choker
A choker is a close-fitting necklace, worn high on the neck. This type of jewellery can consist of one or more bands circling the neck. Chokers can be made of a variety of materials, including velvet, plastic, beads, metal, and leather. They are often adorned in a variety of ways, including with...
s or jewelry necklace
Necklace
A necklace is an article of jewellery which is worn around the neck. Necklaces are frequently formed from a metal jewellery chain. Others are woven or manufactured from cloth using string or twine....
s and can be worn discreetly in public. Such items are often referred to as everyday collars in BDSM parlance. Further evolution of this migration has had groups which actively practice BDSM
BDSM
BDSM is an erotic preference and a form of sexual expression involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role-play. The compound acronym BDSM is derived from the terms bondage and discipline , dominance and submission , and sadism and masochism...
in a relationship but where roles are switched or not as clear as in a traditional D/s relationship. The practice of joint collaring has emerged, where both wear a collar to show their devotion to the other one and to their lifestyle. Generally the collars look alike and/or are inscribed with vows to each other, and in this instance their significance may be similar to that of a wedding ring
Wedding ring
A wedding ring or wedding band is a metal ring indicating the wearer is married. Depending on the local culture, it is worn on the base of the right or the left ring finger. The custom of wearing such a ring has spread widely beyond its origin in Europe...
.
The practice of using three stages of collaring is informally followed by some in the BDSM community. Under this system, the collar of consideration is the first and roughly analogous to a pre-engagement ring. This collar could be removed at any time by the submissive with no ill will and the relationship thereby ended. The training collar is roughly analogous to an engagement ring
Engagement ring
An engagement ring is a ring indicating that the person wearing it is engaged to be married, especially in Western cultures. In the United Kingdom, Ireland and North America, engagement rings are traditionally worn only by women, and rings can feature diamonds or other gemstones. In other cultures...
and indicates a deepening relationship in which the submissive is being prepared by the dominant to serve to the standards the dominant wishes. Again, the submissive may ask to be released but the break is considered more serious and painful for both parties. Finally, the slave collar is analogous to a wedding band and at this point the submissive is considered a formal slave and owned by the dominant. Among some in the leather community this is considered permanent with no chance to end unless the submissive was released by the dominant for some exceptional reason. Simple failure of service was not adequate since that showed a failure on the part of the dominant as well as the slave. As with engagement and wedding rings there are traditions with collars in regard to the materials and colors that are appropriate to each type, usually becoming more elaborate.
House collars are also used in clubs, homes and in organizations that provide social spaces to protect submissives. House collars show that the submissive is under the guidance of the house and is not to be approached. This is often used with inexperienced submissives who are not ready to make their own choices yet and need time to learn.
Velcro collar is an increasingly common term, used derisively. The old guard leather community was very protocol oriented and stressed serious lifestyle involvement because of safety issues. More recently, however, email, Internet chat rooms and instant messaging services allowed the curious to participate in casual (and often anonymous) D/s relationships online. The velcro
Velcro
Velcro is the brand name of the first commercially marketed fabric hook-and-loop fastener, invented in 1948 by the Swiss electrical engineer George de Mestral...
reference indicates the tendency for online dominants and submissives to have new online collaring ceremonies frequently and without regard for existing relationships which end as easily as not logging in.
Other wearers of collars
Although in many instances collars are worn solely by a submissive partner in a relationship with a dominant, in some cases the dominant partner or an unattached person may also wear a collar. People across social layers can now be seen wearing casual collars, purely for fashion. Collars used for fashion are worn by both men and women, and made from various materials such as soft leather, cotton, neoprene, nylon etc. often in bright friendly colors but varying from bright, neutral into darker colors. The lining ranges from bare leather to lambskin, to faux fur. The collar most often has a buckle either in black, nickel or brass design, but snaps and velcro closures are also found. Adornments range from plain collars, to decorative stitching, to studs of all kinds to gems to ruby domes and gemocites etc. Attachments are common too, but often discreet, e.g. a thin black D-ring in front of the collar.In more mainstream culture and especially in pornography
Pornography
Pornography or porn is the explicit portrayal of sexual subject matter for the purposes of sexual arousal and erotic satisfaction.Pornography may use any of a variety of media, ranging from books, magazines, postcards, photos, sculpture, drawing, painting, animation, sound recording, film, video,...
, images depicting women wearing collars are common regardless of whether these women are intended to be depicted as submissive or dominant.
Collars and other alternative clothing can also be found in certain subcultures such as goth, punk, Japanese anime and manga culture, or the furry fandom
Furry fandom
Furry fandom is a fandom for fictional anthropomorphic animal characters with human personalities and characteristics. Examples of anthropomorphic attributes include exhibiting human intelligence and facial expressions, the ability to speak, walk on two legs, and wear clothes...
. These collars vary according to the expression wanted by the people who wear them. In Goth and old-school Punk culture the collars are often similar to wolf collars mentioned above and match their other spike adorned accessories such as bracelets. In the anime, manga and Furry fandom cultures, the collars and wristbands are more often bright and friendly in the design, looking like described in the fashion section above, and though it may also mean they are into BDSM, or have another kind of sexual identity, it is also often used as a subtle rebellion to dominant (regular, mainstream, etc.) society.
Collar etiquette
In some social groups, one is expected to follow certain rules regarding a collared person. A person should ask if he or she wants to be collared. The collar itself is often owned and affixed by the dominant and treated as a symbol of the highest respect.See also
- LimitsLimits (BDSM)In BDSM, limits refer to those activities that participants in a BDSM scene feels strongly about, and to which special attention must be paid....
- ContractContract (BDSM)In BDSM, a contract is an agreement, usually written, between the dominant and submissive in a 24/7 or Total Power Exchange relationship. It is the formal act of consent to the power exchange....
- NegotiationNegotiation (BDSM)In the BDSM community, negotiation is a form of communication where participants make arrangements on each others' requirements, responsibilities, and limits to find the best possible agreement....
- ConsentConsent (BDSM)Consent within BDSM is an issue that attracts much attention in the field. Practitioners' interests are in ensuring appropriate consent for personal, ethical, and legal reasons...
- SceneScene (BDSM)In BDSM, a scene is the stage or setting where BDSM activity takes place, as well as the activity itself. The place where a BDSM activity takes place is usually called a dungeon. A BDSM activity can but need not involve sexual activity or sexual roleplay. A scene will vary, depending on the wishes...
- NecktieNecktieA necktie is a long piece of cloth worn for decorative purposes around the neck or shoulders, resting under the shirt collar and knotted at the throat. Variants include the ascot tie, bow tie, bolo tie, and the clip-on tie. The modern necktie, ascot, and bow tie are descended from the cravat. Neck...
External links
- Collars: Who, What and Why
- Collars article on Wipipedia, a GFDL-licenced specialist BDSM Wiki