In BDSM

BDSM

BDSM is an erotic preference and a form of sexual expression involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role-play. The compound acronym BDSM is derived from the terms bondage and discipline , dominance and submission , and sadism and masochism...

, a top or dominant is the partner in a BDSM relationship or in a BDSM scene

Scene (BDSM)

In BDSM, a scene is the stage or setting where BDSM activity takes place, as well as the activity itself. The place where a BDSM activity takes place is usually called a dungeon. A BDSM activity can but need not involve sexual activity or sexual roleplay. A scene will vary, depending on the wishes...

 who takes the active or controlling role over that of the bottom or submissive

Bottom (BDSM)

In BDSM, a bottom or submissive is the partner in a BDSM relationship or a BDSM scene who takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role, to that of the top or dominant....

 partner(s).

A person who submits control of a large percentage of his or her day-to-day life to a dominant partner, or who submits within a formal set of rules and rituals, is the slave, and the person who assumes power over the slave is the master or mistress.

Terminology

Agreement on the exact meanings of the following terms is far from universal. For example, the function of tops and dominants is similar, and, in many cases, overlaps, but while the terms are used interchangeably in some discussions, there are differences between the two.

The top is the actor within the BDSM context who applies to the bottom

Bottom (BDSM)

In BDSM, a bottom or submissive is the partner in a BDSM relationship or a BDSM scene who takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role, to that of the top or dominant....

 partner(s) the techniques of a sexual, sensual, and psychological activity: flogging, bondage

Bondage (BDSM)

Bondage is the use of restraints for the sexual pleasure of the parties involved. It may be used in its own right, as in the case of rope bondage and breast bondage, or as part of sexual activity or BDSM activity.- Private bondage :...

, servitude

Servitude (BDSM)

In BDSM, servitude refers to performing personal tasks for their dominant partner, as part of their submissive role in a BDSM relationship.In domestic servitude roles, the submissive can receive pleasure and satisfaction from performing personal services for their dominant, such as serving as a...

, or humiliation. The dominant controls the BDSM scene or relationship, exercising authority over the submissive partner(s). A dominant who exercises control over a large percentage of a submissive's day-to-day life, or within a formal framework of rules and rituals, is a master or mistress.

The functions of top and dominant often intersect, where the top is the dominant, but this is not always the case. Someone who is "topping" may be doing so at the request, or even the direction, of a bottom partner; in this case, the bottom is the dominant partner. A top who acts within this kind of relationship dynamic is sometimes called a service top

Service top

Within a BDSM context, a Service Top is a partner who is the active participant, applying the activities or techniques of BDSM "play" upon bottom partner, but who does not dominate the bottom, and instead acts upon the wishes and desires of the bottom...

. A bottom who has dominance over the activities or the relationship is said to be topping from the bottom, even though he or she is really exercising dominance from the bottom. Another possibility is that the top and bottom are acting at the direction of a third, directing person.

Within communities of lifestyle BDSM devotees, there exists a widespread prejudice against both those who act as service tops and those who top from the bottom. Both are considered by many to be failing to achieve a proper BDSM relationship dynamic, especially, if the partners are purported to be trying to achieve a dominant-top/submissive-bottom relationship.

While it is possible that a dominant would not act as a top and thus have no expression of his or her control through kink

Kink (sexual)

In human sexuality, kinkiness and kinky are terms used to refer to a playful usage of sexual concepts in an accentuated, and unambiguously expressive form....

- or fetish

Sexual fetishism

Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a specific situation. The object or situation of interest is called the fetish, the person a fetishist who has a fetish for that object/situation. Sexual fetishism may be regarded, e.g...

-based activities, it may be argued that such a relationship, lacking any erotic aspect to the exercise of control, would fall outside of the BDSM context.

Tops or dominants who also assume a bottom or submissive role are referred to as switches

Switch (BDSM)

In BDSM, a switch is someone who participates in BDSM activities sometimes as a top and other times as a bottom or sometimes as a dominant and other times as a submissive. Partners may switch roles based on mood, desire, or to allow each partner to experience their preferred activity...

.

Master

Master or "Mistress" is one of the honorifics some people use to describe the dominant partner or "owner" in a Master/slave relationship. Because it is an honorific of the dominant form it is usual for it to be written with a capital letter.

It might also be used by the submissive partner as an honorific term in a D/s relationship. This can cause confusion when trying to understand BDSM terminology as both "Master" or "Mistress" and "slave" might be used - as terms of endearment - even though neither considers himself to be owned nor owner.

Some people enjoy the connotations of servitude

Servitude (BDSM)

In BDSM, servitude refers to performing personal tasks for their dominant partner, as part of their submissive role in a BDSM relationship.In domestic servitude roles, the submissive can receive pleasure and satisfaction from performing personal services for their dominant, such as serving as a...

 or submission in calling their partner "Master", or being called "Master". To others the ritual of such a formal mode of address may be appealing. It may also be useful in building roles in which one partner or the other may indulge in sadistic or masochistic desires, although people living as Master and slave are not necessarily sadomasochistic

Sadism and masochism

Sadomasochism broadly refers to the receiving of pleasure—often sexual—from acts involving the infliction or reception of pain or humiliation. The name originates from two authors on the subject, Marquis de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch...

.

Usage of "Master" or "Mistress" in most BDSM environments does not imply any specific expertise, abilities, or formal training. To successfully maintain a Master or Mistress/slave relationship takes abilities and skills beyond or apart from normal relationship skills.

The term "Master" can be gender-independent but is mostly used only in reference to males. There is otherwise no male-specific equivalent. The female equivalent is "Mistress" or possibly dominatrix

Dominatrix

Dominatrix or mistress is a woman or women who takes the dominant role in bondage, discipline and sadomasochism, or BDSM. A common form of address for a submissive to a dominatrix is "mistress", "ma'am", "domina" or "maîtresse"...

.

Although the Master is understood to have authority over the slave in some sense, this never extends to one's legal rights and thus there must always be an implicit element of consent

Consent (BDSM)

Consent within BDSM is an issue that attracts much attention in the field. Practitioners' interests are in ensuring appropriate consent for personal, ethical, and legal reasons...

 involved.

Power limits

The control of the dominant over a partner is seldom absolute and often operates within a set of defined limits

Limits (BDSM)

In BDSM, limits refer to those activities that participants in a BDSM scene feels strongly about, and to which special attention must be paid....

.

A safeword

Safeword

A safeword is a code word or series of code words that are sometimes used in BDSM for a submissive to unambiguously communicate their physical or emotional state to a dominant , typically when approaching, or crossing, a physical, emotional, or moral boundary...

 is a signal that a submissive uses to signal that his or her limit is being neared or has been crossed. Accepting more risk, he or she may agree to forgo this option if he or she consents to an extreme form of submission or the practice of edgeplay

Edgeplay

In BDSM, edgeplay is a subjective term for types of sexual play that are considered to be pushing on the edge of the traditional S.S.C. creed. They would be considered more R.A.C.K...

.

See also

• Top and bottom
• Bottom
  Bottom (BDSM)
  In BDSM, a bottom or submissive is the partner in a BDSM relationship or a BDSM scene who takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role, to that of the top or dominant....
  
  
• Switch
  Switch (BDSM)
  In BDSM, a switch is someone who participates in BDSM activities sometimes as a top and other times as a bottom or sometimes as a dominant and other times as a submissive. Partners may switch roles based on mood, desire, or to allow each partner to experience their preferred activity...
  
  
• Female dominance
  Female dominance
  Female dominance is those BDSM relationships and BDSM scenes in which the dominant partner is female. Often a dominant woman, she may prefer to be called a Domme , Femdomme, Domina, or Dominatrix, depending on context or personal preference...
  
  
• Male dominance
• Dominance and submission
• Sadomasochism