Eleuterio Quiñones
Encyclopedia
Eleuterio Quiñones, voiced by Sunshine Logroño
, is a recurring fictional character in Puerto Rican
radio and television. It is supposed to depict a die-hard supporter of statehood
for Puerto Rico, whose passion for the subject and support of the New Progressive Party of Puerto Rico
verges in the extremely absurd. The character is loosely based on the archetypical Puerto Rican peasant, the jibaro
, with a sizeable dose of Archie Bunker
thrown in.
), who lives in a blue house on the Camarones section of Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
, along with his son Elpidio. Due to his passionate love for the United States he flies the Stars and Stripes
in front of his house. Since he's the only one in the barrio
with the American flag in his porch, his neighbors call the house "El Correo", "The Post Office
" in Spanish. The house is blue, given Eleuterio's affiliation to the New Progressive Party of Puerto Rico
, whose logo is blue.
Don Eleuterio was depicted in the early incarnations of the character as a grumpy old man
, easily angered by life's minor irritations. Recent incarnations depict him as less irritated (and more tolerant) than before. However, Eleuterio is still prone to fits of anger
, and throws things quite loudly whenever he loses an argument and proof is shown to him, or when something personal happens to him that goes against his political philosophy (such as his son Elpidio joining a PDP campaign rally for a joyride, for example).
Don Eleuterio despises the Puerto Rican culture, but is a direct product of it. His commentary on Puerto Rican culture is affected by his personal experiences as a native of Puerto Rico and as a World War II veteran (in the character's beginnings, more recently the Korean War
is used as to keep up with time). However, he has never set a foot outside Puerto Rico. His experience with true American culture is limited to the time he was stationed at a local United States Army
camp near his home during the war. As a consequence of this, he considers the proverbial destination of most recent Puerto Rican émigrés, Orlando, Florida
, to be the statehooders' equivalent of Mecca
, with the giant Mickey Mouse
-eared water tank near the entrance of Walt Disney World as the Kaabah.
The character's name allegedly came from using the Bristol Almanac, a long-standing almanac
popular to Latin America that is published by New York City soap maker Murray and Kemp, and is similar in concept to Poor Richard's Almanac
, as a source of baby names. The Almanac lists the Roman Catholic calendar of saints
, from which a name could be selected for a newborn depending on the day of his birth; in theory this puts Don Eleuterio's birthday as occurring on 20 February, the day of St. Eleutherius of Constantinople, and right after the consecutive (and purely coincidental) birthdays (17 February - 19 February) of three Puerto Rican governors: Luis A. Ferré
, Luis Muñoz Marín
and Roberto Sánchez Vilella
(in that order). Eleuterio hates his name, since it is decidedly non-American. In reality, Logroño used "Eleuterio" as a name to reinforce the character's Puerto Ricanness, since the coquí, a frog native to Puerto Rico, has a scientific name of "Eleutherodactylus Coqui". Since the coquí has traditionally (and erroneously) been viewed as so local to Puerto Rico as to die if taken out of his habitat (a fact proven wrong by its recent acclimatization to Hawaii
), the name "Eleuterio" evokes a similar connotation.
Don Eleuterio is in record as being homophobic
, a mysoginist
, a hater of reggaetón
, and intolerant of Puerto Rican cuisine
, and particularly "gandinga" (tripe
) as the worst offender. He is also a racist, although a bit ashamed of being so since he is racially mixed himself. He uses the term people of color (which may be politically correct
to some English language speakers but a derogatory euphemism
in Spanish) to refer to blacks. He essentially considers most poor and young Puerto Ricans as being potential drug addicts. Yet, he claims constantly to be "completamente neutrarrrr" (sic), a phrase mispronounced on purpose to depict Eleuterio as lacking culture
.
However, none of these prejudices are openly vented by Don Eleuterio until the "right" opportunity comes about -most often when a news item is commented and Eleuterio takes off in a tangent
that makes no sense when related to it. For example, his racism usually flows to the surface when commenting about the stereotypical incompatibility in sizes between the genitalia of multiracial
couples. He commonly insults callers to his radio program as being "huelepega" (glue sniffers
), and wonders when the offender is going to inject his dose of marijuana (sic) next. According to Eleuterio, the character's creator (Logroño, who Eleuterio claims to have no relation with) is a "tecato", a heroin addict.
Eleuterio speaks very little English. He claims he will not say an English word in public, as to not humiliate any Puerto Ricans talking to him, but in reality he only uses two English phrases in daily conversation: "Yes" (with which he answers almost any question asked to him in English) and "An Sori" ("I Am Sorry"), the first phrase he says whenever he encounters any American. He begs for forgiveness to Americans for the poor use Puerto Ricans have made of everything the country "has bestowed" on Puerto Rico, from the English language to welfare, and on to hamburger
s, hot dog
s and apple pie
.
Eleuterio's trademark phrase, when praising anything American or pro-American, is the refrain of an old Pentecostal hymn
in Spanish, "¡Alábalo, que Vive!" ("Bless -Him-, for -He- lives on!"). A converse phrase he mentions when he is angry is "¡Maldita sean los cue'nos (d)er Diablo!" ("Damn be the horns of the Devil!")
In practice, Logroño dressed once as Eleuterio Quiñones (namely, as a Puerto Rican peasant
) for a televised episode of Los Rayos Gamma
where Silverio Pérez
's birthday was being held. This is the only known public appearance by Eleuterio ever recorded. In other public appearances, Logroño hides from view and uses a microphone
to do the character as a voice-over
.
leader Carlos Romero Barceló
, particularly Romero's stubborn strength as a populist contender against the Popular Democratic Party of Puerto Rico
. His initial idea of Puerto Rican statehood resembled that of "jíbaro statehood", the dual concept of Puerto Rican cultural preservation under statehood that Romero promoted in his book "Statehood is For The Poor". Therefore, Eleuterio would speak fondly of Puerto Rican food and music (namely, that of Rafael Hernández Marín
) as a complement to American cultural icons such as Tommy Dorsey
. Of course, this image would be taken to the extreme: Don Eleuterio claims that Burger King
outlets would be physically deflated as a balloon
and rolled, as to be taken out of the country as if they were a roll of linoleum
, should independence ever be granted to Puerto Rico.
As a Romero supporter, Eleuterio viewed the emergence of Pedro Rosselló
as NPP leader with great skepticism. As Rosselló consolidated his leadership within the NPP, however, Eleuterio grew acceptant of the less Puerto Rican-centric view of the country Rosselló's supporters had within the NPP.
As time passed, Eleuterio started inviting political leaders to his radio program. Politicians from outside the NPP took these invitations in stride, but NPP leaders were hesitant at first, since they feared guilt by association
. However, as many NPP leaders broke the ice, eventually Romero visited his program and took advantage of the character's popularity. So have most NPP leaders, with the notable exception of Rosselló.
Eleuterio is very publicly pro-American, but some topics are off-limits in his radio and television appearances, namely 9/11
and specific details about the Iraq War.
patient, reportedly 39 years-old but with the mental age of an eighth grader, with the sophomoric sense of humor to match. He constantly wears a Superman
t-shirt
, and has a large overbite
(Logroño plays the character wearing a dental prosthesis
).
Elpidio is, therefore, naïve enough not to understand the ulterior motives of his classmates. Two of his neighbors are particularly guilty of charging admission to other classmates to show Elpidio naked from the waist down and exhibiting his rather overdeveloped genitalia at school. Elpidio, being an adult, is not carded for purchasing liquor, and is tricked into buying beer
and pornography
by his mates.
Elpidio appears sometimes, either in radio or in television, alongside his mutt
, Matruco, a rather affable dog who likes his belly to be scratched (something that inevitably raises Elpidio's curiosity about the dog's penis
).
At times, Don Eleuterio has been accused of mistreating his son, particularly because he never changes the family diet; since the only decent cooking recipe Eleuterio knows was the one he learned as attendant of a mess hall while in the Army (and since cooking anything more extravagant would be, in his view, effeminate), he feeds his son steamed white rice
, mashed potatoes and canned corn
every single day (and sometimes for both lunch and dinner
).
Elpidio is (or was) a regular character in various television series produced by Logroño: "De Noche Con Sunshine", "El Condominio" and "Por el casco de San Juan". On these programs, recurring character "Doña Soto" (played by Suzette Bacó) claims, after seeing Elpidio naked accidentally a few times, that "Él no es ningún nene ná" ("He's no little kid, awright!")
Eventually, Don Eleuterio befriended a widow, a Cuba
n pharmacist, named Iris Eduarda, who is also a die-hard pro-statehood supporter (as many exiled Cubans in Puerto Rico are). Although Eleuterio denies it, they seem to have shared intimate moments; more than a few times she has mentioned the fact that Eleuterio uses "la pildorita azul" ("the little blue pill"), in reference to Viagra.
In recent programs Iris Eduarda has antagonized with listeners, since she is currently demanding that Eleuterio leave his radio program, marry her and move to a post-Fidel Castro
Cuba
. Her interventions have angered listeners, who constantly advise Eleuterio against marrying her. Eleuterio is yet to decide whether he'll marry her or not.
When Miriam Ramirez de Ferrer became a widow, a chance visit to Don Eleuterio's program raised audiences expectations about a possible "romance" between the two. Ramirez and Logroño played the "romance" for close to three weeks through aired phone conversations. In an NPP fundraising party Ramirez and some followers staged a mock marriage between a costumed actor and Ramirez. Suspecting the situation had gone out of hand, Don Eleuterio claimed that he was "framed" and that everything was a setup.
. The radio station's studios were in Guaynabo, and whenever Logroño entered the building he would see the landscape attendant, an old man, struggling to pull weeds out. Logroño would discuss with Pérez how he would imagine the attendant's voice, what would his political persuasion be, and so on. Based on him, Logroño developed the character for his morning show. The show did not survive, but the character was well received by the show's audience.
When Logroño started doing his highly controversial television show, "Sunshine's Café" on WAPA-TV
, small sketches featuring actor Jaime Bello interviewing Eleuterio from outside his house were regularly featured in the show. Similar "appearances" occurred in televised showings of Los Rayos Gamma.
With time, Logroño was given the chance to do a political satire show on television station WAPA-TV
, which was called "Politiqueando", in 1996. As means to promote the television program, Logroño staged short on-air telephone calls to Salsoul, a Puerto Rican radio station. The early evening disc-jockey, Fernando Arévalo, would talk to some of the characters of the show, namely a cat puppet
of Logroño's called Polito Garrapatoso, as well as to Don Eleuterio, for no longer than five minutes. Success from these phone calls was such that audiences demanded a longer treatment. "Agitando - El Show" was then born, giving Eleuterio ten, and later twenty minutes of airtime. Eventually the program grew in length, and Don Eleuterio was given a full hour of airtime daily. The program's name, "Agitando", means "Shaking (people up)", as to depict the expected uproar from segments of the audience whenever Don Eleuterio went on the air.
said constantly, "the world is the best scriptwriter", and merely observing older statehood supporters in Puerto Rico provides him of enough original material. Logroño also claims that some of Eleuterio's criticism against some traditional customs within Puerto Rican culture, such as impunctuality, actually has a positive effect. However, he does concede that the whole concept of Don Eleuterio is that of irony
taken to the extreme.
Critics such as former PNP (and now independent) senator Orlando Parga, Jr.
have debased the character publicly. However, because of the character's durability, most statehooders are by now used to Don Eleuterio's outrageousness, as evidenced by Parga's visit to his radio program in early 2006.
, induced by his ingestion of whiskey. Calls to the Quiñones household were answered by Elpidio, who would try to have his father reach the telephone, to no avail.
side of the political spectrum, the subject may find him or herself described as a "Don Eleuterio" by his peers.
was about to be celebrated (or protested, depending on someone's political view) in 1998, NPP Secretary of State (and later senator) Norma Burgos
suggested in a newspaper article, that Puerto Ricans such as Julio J. Henna
had petitioned United States president William McKinley
for an invasion, as to relieve Puerto Ricans of Spanish rule. In her article, she wanted to open the debate on whether Henna and other petitioners actually wanted McKinley to annex Puerto Rico to the United States and that, by using that as an excuse, McKinley had consented. In other words, Burgos established the theory of Puerto Rico being "invaded by invitation" by American troops.
According to historical record, the United States had been considering establishing a military base in the Caribbean as early as 1867. There is some evidence that Puerto Rico (or parts of it) had been considered as a candidate for such a base (through either invasion or purchase) as early as 1891. Historians claim that, even considering Henna's petition as an actual request for invasion, the timing of the letter was merely coincidental to a military event that was probably going to happen anyway, and as such, was arguably not affected by Henna's early request. In fact, a later meeting involving Henna, McKinley, Eugenio María de Hostos
, Manuel Zeno Gandía
and other Puerto Rican leaders did take place in the White House
in Washington, D.C. (on January 19, 1899), in which they asked for a level of self-government similar or better to the one that had been granted to Puerto Rico just months before the invasion (to which McKinley reportedly refused later).
Burgos' article came about in a period when there was considerable debate in Puerto Rico on whether the public school system was being used by then pro-statehood governor Pedro Rosselló as a political indoctrination tool or not. When historians disputed Burgos' claim (which was favorably viewed by Eleuterio) as a distortion of historical fact, Burgos was publicly ridiculed by some. Eleuterio went to the point of "editing" a newspaper article (first published in Puerto Rico's premiere daily, El Nuevo Día
) in which he claimed that Puerto Rican history before 1898 and the Spanish American War was almost non-existent, and that the Taíno
natives of Puerto Rico were its first drug traffickers. He meant the article to be used as a reference in Puerto Rican schools.
Burgos later lamented the incident, claiming that she was primarily a public administrator, and as such, she had better left the subject of historical debate to historians.
, Héctor O'Neill, bought a few English-language stop signs in 1998, as to save some money (English signs were cheaper than Spanish ones because of economies of scale
in the United States). At the suggestion of Rios Gracia, one of Guaynabo's municipal policemen (who had designed an English-language sign for his police unit, the Uniform Crime Reporting office), O'Neill had Ríos' sign design painted and placed in front of the police unit's office. He took the concept further and had a graphic artist redesign a new corporate identity for the city's police department. As he feared it would happen once he approved the proposed designs (O'Neill's candid reaction once he saw the proposed design for the police's patrol cars was reported in San Juan's El Vocero newspaper: "This looks gorgeous! Yet, I fear this will be all fucked up once people get to know about this!"), he was soon reprimanded by pro-independence citizens of town and Spanish language
purists in Puerto Rico for his use of English but was publicly praised by Don Eleuterio, who is also a native. O'Neill then bought several police patrol cars with the English phrase "Guaynabo City Police" painted on them. As expected, Eleuterio gave his imprimatur
to the move.
Many Puerto Ricans considered O'Neill's decision as a joke, as irritant as Eleuterio's humor. However, the publicity gave general acceptability to the use of the phrase "Guaynabo City" to describe the municipality, fueled in part by Don Eleuterio's approving rants. Since Guaynabo is also the city with the largest per capita income
in Puerto Rico, it can afford to feature public works that are unique to the country, something that Eleuterio describes as "the closest thing in Puerto Rico to Walt Disney World", sort of a pro-statehood Valhalla
.
The term was given international exposure in the Calle 13
song Atrévete-te-te
, which used it in jest.
executive, who happens to be the sister of MLB
baseball players Joey Cora
and Alex Cora
). One of the station's sales executives, whose last name is Belgodere, joins the casts occasionally; his purpose is to balance Don Eleuterio's comments, given Belgodere's affiliation to the opposition party, the Popular Democratic Party of Puerto Rico.
Normally, the program starts by having Cora and Arévalo read the headlines of current news items. Don Eleuterio then joins in through the telephone (Logroño claims that the limited bandwidth of the phone call is actually preferred by the audience, rather than impersonating the character in the studio from behind a microphone). In the past, he usually started his intervention with a speech, complete with cathedral-like echo and a background rendition of The Star Spangled Banner or America The Beautiful
. This only happens occasionally in recent airings of the program.
Eleuterio then comments the news items, along with Arévalo (and sometimes Belgodere or Cora). The commentary is usually punctuated by soundbites from previous visits by politicians to the program. These soundbites are guaranteed to be humorous or unflattering, as to elicit a comic effect. Two memorable ones are one by former governoress of Puerto Rico, Sila Calderón: "Mentira... ¡Mentira! Eso es una mentira, grande, así, como de éste tamaño..." ("Lie... A lie! That's a big lie, about this big!"), and another from current Senate of Puerto Rico
president Kenneth McClintock
: "¿Y qué carajo
te importa?" ("And why the fuck
should you care?").
Depending on the general mood of the program, he might open the phone lines for comments. Pro-statehood supporters usually ask him for his blessing, and some go to the extreme of calling him "Grandpa", in English. Non-statehood supporters are guaranteed to be scorned or ridiculed by Eleuterio.
On Fridays, Eleuterio hosts "La Tribuna" ("The Podium"), a discussion panel that involves three youth leaders, one from each major political party in Puerto Rico. They are, of course, exposed to Eleuterio's questioning and ranting.
Occasionally, Don Eleuterio receives emails and letters from people who praise a particular situation that they have experienced while visiting or living in the United States. An example of this may be: a Puerto Rican that recently moved to Seattle, Washington
, bought a new refrigerator
, is told by the salesperson at the store that the appliance would be delivered at precisely 10:00 AM (and not within an imprecise time or date range, as Eleuterio claims the norm is in Puerto Rico), and is delivered exactly at 9:59 AM. Eleuterio stages comments to these letters within a section called "El Otro Mundo" ("The Other World"), implying that the positive characteristic praised in it belongs somewhere too far removed from Puerto Rico from ever happening in the country. Usually the music theme for The X-Files
is played in the background while the section runs.
Don Eleuterio's intervention usually takes over the first hour of the show. The remaining half hour is usually reserved for Logroño's other comedic characters, Vitín Alicea
(a clever closet homosexual who is a fan of wrestling
), Chemba Osorio (a feminist who, at age 40, is unmarried by choice), or El Barbarazo del Amor (a sexual pervert turned into a media sexologist).
Sunshine Logroño
Emmanuel Logroño , better known as Sunshine Logroño is a Puerto Rican actor, radio announcer, television show host, singer, comedy writer, entrepreneur and comedian...
, is a recurring fictional character in Puerto Rican
Puerto Rico
Puerto Rico , officially the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico , is an unincorporated territory of the United States, located in the northeastern Caribbean, east of the Dominican Republic and west of both the United States Virgin Islands and the British Virgin Islands.Puerto Rico comprises an...
radio and television. It is supposed to depict a die-hard supporter of statehood
U.S. state
A U.S. state is any one of the 50 federated states of the United States of America that share sovereignty with the federal government. Because of this shared sovereignty, an American is a citizen both of the federal entity and of his or her state of domicile. Four states use the official title of...
for Puerto Rico, whose passion for the subject and support of the New Progressive Party of Puerto Rico
New Progressive Party of Puerto Rico
The New Progressive Party of Puerto Rico is a political party that advocates for Puerto Rico's admission to the United States of America as the 51st state...
verges in the extremely absurd. The character is loosely based on the archetypical Puerto Rican peasant, the jibaro
Jíbaro
Jíbaro is a term from the Taíno words "jiba" and "ro", that means forest people, commonly used in Puerto Rico to refer to mountain-dwelling peasants, but in modern times it has gained a broader cultural meaning.-History:...
, with a sizeable dose of Archie Bunker
Archie Bunker
Archibald "Archie" Bunker is a fictional New Yorker in the 1970s top-rated American television sitcom All in the Family and its spin-off Archie Bunker's Place, played to acclaim by Carroll O'Connor. Bunker is a veteran of World War II, reactionary, bigoted, conservative, blue-collar worker, and...
thrown in.
Eleuterio, the character
Eleuterio Quiñones is reportedly a 75 year-old man, divorced from his Puerto Rican wife (who left him for an American drill sergeantSergeant
Sergeant is a rank used in some form by most militaries, police forces, and other uniformed organizations around the world. Its origins are the Latin serviens, "one who serves", through the French term Sergent....
), who lives in a blue house on the Camarones section of Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
Guaynabo is a municipality in the northern part of Puerto Rico, located in the northern coast of the island, north of Aguas Buenas; south of Cataño; east of Bayamón; and west of San Juan...
, along with his son Elpidio. Due to his passionate love for the United States he flies the Stars and Stripes
Flag of the United States
The national flag of the United States of America consists of thirteen equal horizontal stripes of red alternating with white, with a blue rectangle in the canton bearing fifty small, white, five-pointed stars arranged in nine offset horizontal rows of six stars alternating with rows...
in front of his house. Since he's the only one in the barrio
Barrio
Barrio is a Spanish word meaning district or neighborhood.-Usage:In its formal usage in English, barrios are generally considered cohesive places, sharing, for example, a church and traditions such as feast days...
with the American flag in his porch, his neighbors call the house "El Correo", "The Post Office
United States Postal Service
The United States Postal Service is an independent agency of the United States government responsible for providing postal service in the United States...
" in Spanish. The house is blue, given Eleuterio's affiliation to the New Progressive Party of Puerto Rico
New Progressive Party of Puerto Rico
The New Progressive Party of Puerto Rico is a political party that advocates for Puerto Rico's admission to the United States of America as the 51st state...
, whose logo is blue.
Don Eleuterio was depicted in the early incarnations of the character as a grumpy old man
Irritable Male Syndrome
Irritable male syndrome is defined as a state of hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustration, and anger that occurs in males and is associated with biochemical changes, hormonal fluctuations, stress, and loss of male identity. This term covers symptoms thought to be caused by a drop in testosterone...
, easily angered by life's minor irritations. Recent incarnations depict him as less irritated (and more tolerant) than before. However, Eleuterio is still prone to fits of anger
Rage (emotion)
Rage is a feeling of intense anger. It is associated with the Fight-or-flight response and oftentimes activated in response to an external cue, such as the murder of a loved one. The phrase, 'thrown into a fit of rage,' expresses the immediate nature of rage that occurs before deliberation. If left...
, and throws things quite loudly whenever he loses an argument and proof is shown to him, or when something personal happens to him that goes against his political philosophy (such as his son Elpidio joining a PDP campaign rally for a joyride, for example).
Don Eleuterio despises the Puerto Rican culture, but is a direct product of it. His commentary on Puerto Rican culture is affected by his personal experiences as a native of Puerto Rico and as a World War II veteran (in the character's beginnings, more recently the Korean War
Korean War
The Korean War was a conventional war between South Korea, supported by the United Nations, and North Korea, supported by the People's Republic of China , with military material aid from the Soviet Union...
is used as to keep up with time). However, he has never set a foot outside Puerto Rico. His experience with true American culture is limited to the time he was stationed at a local United States Army
United States Army
The United States Army is the main branch of the United States Armed Forces responsible for land-based military operations. It is the largest and oldest established branch of the U.S. military, and is one of seven U.S. uniformed services...
camp near his home during the war. As a consequence of this, he considers the proverbial destination of most recent Puerto Rican émigrés, Orlando, Florida
Orlando, Florida
Orlando is a city in the central region of the U.S. state of Florida. It is the county seat of Orange County, and the center of the Greater Orlando metropolitan area. According to the 2010 US Census, the city had a population of 238,300, making Orlando the 79th largest city in the United States...
, to be the statehooders' equivalent of Mecca
Mecca
Mecca is a city in the Hijaz and the capital of Makkah province in Saudi Arabia. The city is located inland from Jeddah in a narrow valley at a height of above sea level...
, with the giant Mickey Mouse
Mickey Mouse
Mickey Mouse is a cartoon character created in 1928 by Walt Disney and Ub Iwerks at The Walt Disney Studio. Mickey is an anthropomorphic black mouse and typically wears red shorts, large yellow shoes, and white gloves...
-eared water tank near the entrance of Walt Disney World as the Kaabah.
The character's name allegedly came from using the Bristol Almanac, a long-standing almanac
Almanac
An almanac is an annual publication that includes information such as weather forecasts, farmers' planting dates, and tide tables, containing tabular information in a particular field or fields often arranged according to the calendar etc...
popular to Latin America that is published by New York City soap maker Murray and Kemp, and is similar in concept to Poor Richard's Almanac
Poor Richard's Almanac
Poor Richard's Almanack was a yearly almanac published by Benjamin Franklin, who adopted the pseudonym of "Poor Richard" or "Richard Saunders" for this purpose. The publication appeared continually from 1732 to 1758...
, as a source of baby names. The Almanac lists the Roman Catholic calendar of saints
Roman Catholic calendar of saints
The General Roman Calendar indicates the days of the year to which are assigned the liturgical celebrations of saints and of the mysteries of the Lord that are to be observed wherever the Roman Rite is used...
, from which a name could be selected for a newborn depending on the day of his birth; in theory this puts Don Eleuterio's birthday as occurring on 20 February, the day of St. Eleutherius of Constantinople, and right after the consecutive (and purely coincidental) birthdays (17 February - 19 February) of three Puerto Rican governors: Luis A. Ferré
Luis A. Ferré
Don Luis Alberto Ferré Aguayo was a Puerto Rican engineer, industrialist, politician, philanthropist, and a patron of the arts. He was the third Governor of the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico from 1969 to 1973, and the founding father of the New Progressive Party which advocates for Puerto Rico...
, Luis Muñoz Marín
Luis Muñoz Marín
Don José Luis Alberto Muñoz Marín was a Puerto Rican poet, journalist, and politician. Regarded as the "father of modern Puerto Rico," he was the first democratically elected Governor of Puerto Rico. Muñoz Marín was the son of Luis Muñoz Rivera, a renowned autonomist leader...
and Roberto Sánchez Vilella
Roberto Sánchez Vilella
Roberto Sánchez Vilella was the second Governor of the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico from 1965 to 1969. He was born in Mayagüez, Puerto Rico...
(in that order). Eleuterio hates his name, since it is decidedly non-American. In reality, Logroño used "Eleuterio" as a name to reinforce the character's Puerto Ricanness, since the coquí, a frog native to Puerto Rico, has a scientific name of "Eleutherodactylus Coqui". Since the coquí has traditionally (and erroneously) been viewed as so local to Puerto Rico as to die if taken out of his habitat (a fact proven wrong by its recent acclimatization to Hawaii
Hawaii
Hawaii is the newest of the 50 U.S. states , and is the only U.S. state made up entirely of islands. It is the northernmost island group in Polynesia, occupying most of an archipelago in the central Pacific Ocean, southwest of the continental United States, southeast of Japan, and northeast of...
), the name "Eleuterio" evokes a similar connotation.
Don Eleuterio is in record as being homophobic
Homophobia
Homophobia is a term used to refer to a range of negative attitudes and feelings towards lesbian, gay and in some cases bisexual, transgender people and behavior, although these are usually covered under other terms such as biphobia and transphobia. Definitions refer to irrational fear, with the...
, a mysoginist
Misogyny
Misogyny is the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Philogyny, meaning fondness, love or admiration towards women, is the antonym of misogyny. The term misandry is the term for men that is parallel to misogyny...
, a hater of reggaetón
Reggaeton
Reggaeton is a form of Puerto Rican and Latin American urban and Caribbean music. After its mainstream exposure in 2004, it spread to North American, European and Asian audiences. Reggaeton originated in Puerto Rico but is also has roots from Reggae en Español from Panama and Puerto Rico and...
, and intolerant of Puerto Rican cuisine
Cuisine of Puerto Rico
Puerto Rican cuisine has its roots in the cooking traditions and practices of Europe , Africa and the Amerindian Taínos. In the latter part of the 19th century the cuisine of Puerto Rico was greatly influenced by the United States in the ingredients used in its preparation...
, and particularly "gandinga" (tripe
Tripe
Tripe is a type of edible offal from the stomachs of various farm animals.-Beef tripe:...
) as the worst offender. He is also a racist, although a bit ashamed of being so since he is racially mixed himself. He uses the term people of color (which may be politically correct
Politically Correct
Politically Correct may refer to:*Political correctness, language, ideas, policies, or behaviour seeking to minimize offence to groups of people-See also:*Politically Correct Bedtime Stories, book by James Finn Garner, published in 1994...
to some English language speakers but a derogatory euphemism
Euphemism
A euphemism is the substitution of a mild, inoffensive, relatively uncontroversial phrase for another more frank expression that might offend or otherwise suggest something unpleasant to the audience...
in Spanish) to refer to blacks. He essentially considers most poor and young Puerto Ricans as being potential drug addicts. Yet, he claims constantly to be "completamente neutrarrrr" (sic), a phrase mispronounced on purpose to depict Eleuterio as lacking culture
Culture
Culture is a term that has many different inter-related meanings. For example, in 1952, Alfred Kroeber and Clyde Kluckhohn compiled a list of 164 definitions of "culture" in Culture: A Critical Review of Concepts and Definitions...
.
However, none of these prejudices are openly vented by Don Eleuterio until the "right" opportunity comes about -most often when a news item is commented and Eleuterio takes off in a tangent
Red herring (plot device)
Red herring is an idiomatic expression referring to the rhetorical or literary tactic of diverting attention away from an item of significance...
that makes no sense when related to it. For example, his racism usually flows to the surface when commenting about the stereotypical incompatibility in sizes between the genitalia of multiracial
Miscegenation
Miscegenation is the mixing of different racial groups through marriage, cohabitation, sexual relations, and procreation....
couples. He commonly insults callers to his radio program as being "huelepega" (glue sniffers
Inhalant
Inhalants are a broad range of drugs whose volatile vapors are taken in via the nose and trachea. They are taken by volatilization, and do not include drugs that are inhaled after burning or heating...
), and wonders when the offender is going to inject his dose of marijuana (sic) next. According to Eleuterio, the character's creator (Logroño, who Eleuterio claims to have no relation with) is a "tecato", a heroin addict.
Eleuterio speaks very little English. He claims he will not say an English word in public, as to not humiliate any Puerto Ricans talking to him, but in reality he only uses two English phrases in daily conversation: "Yes" (with which he answers almost any question asked to him in English) and "An Sori" ("I Am Sorry"), the first phrase he says whenever he encounters any American. He begs for forgiveness to Americans for the poor use Puerto Ricans have made of everything the country "has bestowed" on Puerto Rico, from the English language to welfare, and on to hamburger
Hamburger
A hamburger is a sandwich consisting of a cooked patty of ground meat usually placed inside a sliced bread roll...
s, hot dog
Hot dog
A hot dog is a sausage served in a sliced bun. It is very often garnished with mustard, ketchup, onions, mayonnaise, relish and/or sauerkraut.-History:...
s and apple pie
Apple pie
An apple pie is a fruit pie in which the principal filling ingredient is apples. It is sometimes served with whipped cream or ice cream on top...
.
Eleuterio's trademark phrase, when praising anything American or pro-American, is the refrain of an old Pentecostal hymn
Hymn
A hymn is a type of song, usually religious, specifically written for the purpose of praise, adoration or prayer, and typically addressed to a deity or deities, or to a prominent figure or personification...
in Spanish, "¡Alábalo, que Vive!" ("Bless -Him-, for -He- lives on!"). A converse phrase he mentions when he is angry is "¡Maldita sean los cue'nos (d)er Diablo!" ("Damn be the horns of the Devil!")
Known, but not seen
In theory, no one from the general public has ever seen Don Eleuterio. Whenever a television comedy sketch was featured where Eleuterio would be a part of, he would speak hidden inside his house, from behind a window. Reportedly this occurs because Eleuterio is ashamed of his kinky hair and dark skin. He blames the local tap water for his hair's coarseness; as for his skin color, he considers himself white, along with 84% of the Puerto Rican population.In practice, Logroño dressed once as Eleuterio Quiñones (namely, as a Puerto Rican peasant
Peasant
A peasant is an agricultural worker who generally tend to be poor and homeless-Etymology:The word is derived from 15th century French païsant meaning one from the pays, or countryside, ultimately from the Latin pagus, or outlying administrative district.- Position in society :Peasants typically...
) for a televised episode of Los Rayos Gamma
Los Rayos Gamma
Los Rayos Gamma is a Puerto Rican comedy troupe specializing in political satire. The group was founded in the late 1960s and is currently composed of:* Sunshine Logroño - comedian, actor, host, singer, producer...
where Silverio Pérez
Silverio Pérez
Silverio Pérez is a musician, comedian, entrepreneur and broadcasting media host, born in Guaynabo, Puerto Rico. He is known for several reasons, among them:* hosting several successful Puerto Rican television shows during his career....
's birthday was being held. This is the only known public appearance by Eleuterio ever recorded. In other public appearances, Logroño hides from view and uses a microphone
Microphone
A microphone is an acoustic-to-electric transducer or sensor that converts sound into an electrical signal. In 1877, Emile Berliner invented the first microphone used as a telephone voice transmitter...
to do the character as a voice-over
Voice-over
Voice-over is a production technique where a voice which is not part of the narrative is used in a radio, television production, filmmaking, theatre, or other presentations...
.
Political views
In the character's beginning, Eleuterio was, first and foremost, an admirer of NPPNew Progressive Party of Puerto Rico
The New Progressive Party of Puerto Rico is a political party that advocates for Puerto Rico's admission to the United States of America as the 51st state...
leader Carlos Romero Barceló
Carlos Romero Barceló
Carlos Antonio Romero Barceló is a Puerto Rican politician who served as the fifth Governor of the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico, the second governor to be elected from the New Progressive Party and also Resident Commissioner of Puerto Rico from 1993 to 2001, making him one of the more successful...
, particularly Romero's stubborn strength as a populist contender against the Popular Democratic Party of Puerto Rico
Popular Democratic Party of Puerto Rico
The Popular Democratic Party of Puerto Rico is a political party that supports Puerto Rico's right to self-determination and sovereignty, through the enhancement of Puerto Rico's current status as a commonwealth....
. His initial idea of Puerto Rican statehood resembled that of "jíbaro statehood", the dual concept of Puerto Rican cultural preservation under statehood that Romero promoted in his book "Statehood is For The Poor". Therefore, Eleuterio would speak fondly of Puerto Rican food and music (namely, that of Rafael Hernández Marín
Rafael Hernández Marín
Rafael Hernández , was one of the most important composers of Puerto Rican popular music during the 20th century.-Early years:...
) as a complement to American cultural icons such as Tommy Dorsey
Tommy Dorsey
Thomas Francis "Tommy" Dorsey, Jr. was an American jazz trombonist, trumpeter, composer, and bandleader of the Big Band era. He was known as "The Sentimental Gentleman of Swing", due to his smooth-toned trombone playing. He was the younger brother of bandleader Jimmy Dorsey...
. Of course, this image would be taken to the extreme: Don Eleuterio claims that Burger King
Burger King
Burger King, often abbreviated as BK, is a global chain of hamburger fast food restaurants headquartered in unincorporated Miami-Dade County, Florida, United States. The company began in 1953 as Insta-Burger King, a Jacksonville, Florida-based restaurant chain...
outlets would be physically deflated as a balloon
Balloon
A balloon is an inflatable flexible bag filled with a gas, such as helium, hydrogen, nitrous oxide, oxygen, or air. Modern balloons can be made from materials such as rubber, latex, polychloroprene, or a nylon fabric, while some early balloons were made of dried animal bladders, such as the pig...
and rolled, as to be taken out of the country as if they were a roll of linoleum
Linoleum
Linoleum is a floor covering made from renewable materials such as solidified linseed oil , pine rosin, ground cork dust, wood flour, and mineral fillers such as calcium carbonate, most commonly on a burlap or canvas backing; pigments are often added to the materials.The finest linoleum floors,...
, should independence ever be granted to Puerto Rico.
As a Romero supporter, Eleuterio viewed the emergence of Pedro Rosselló
Pedro Rosselló
Pedro Juan Rosselló González, M.D., , is a Puerto Rican physician and politician who served as the sixth Governor of the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico from 1993 to 2001...
as NPP leader with great skepticism. As Rosselló consolidated his leadership within the NPP, however, Eleuterio grew acceptant of the less Puerto Rican-centric view of the country Rosselló's supporters had within the NPP.
As time passed, Eleuterio started inviting political leaders to his radio program. Politicians from outside the NPP took these invitations in stride, but NPP leaders were hesitant at first, since they feared guilt by association
Association fallacy
An association fallacy is an inductive informal fallacy of the type hasty generalization or red herring which asserts that qualities of one thing are inherently qualities of another, merely by an irrelevant association. The two types are sometimes referred to as guilt by association and honor by...
. However, as many NPP leaders broke the ice, eventually Romero visited his program and took advantage of the character's popularity. So have most NPP leaders, with the notable exception of Rosselló.
Eleuterio is very publicly pro-American, but some topics are off-limits in his radio and television appearances, namely 9/11
September 11, 2001 attacks
The September 11 attacks The September 11 attacks The September 11 attacks (also referred to as September 11, September 11th or 9/119/11 is pronounced "nine eleven". The slash is not part of the pronunciation...
and specific details about the Iraq War.
Eleuterio's son, Elpidio
Elpidio Quiñones (sometimes referred to by the diminutive, Elpidito) is the son of Eleuterio, and is also played by Logroño. Contrary to Eleuterio, Elpidio has a very public profile. He is a special educationSpecial education
Special education is the education of students with special needs in a way that addresses the students' individual differences and needs. Ideally, this process involves the individually planned and systematically monitored arrangement of teaching procedures, adapted equipment and materials,...
patient, reportedly 39 years-old but with the mental age of an eighth grader, with the sophomoric sense of humor to match. He constantly wears a Superman
Superman
Superman is a fictional comic book superhero appearing in publications by DC Comics, widely considered to be an American cultural icon. Created by American writer Jerry Siegel and Canadian-born American artist Joe Shuster in 1932 while both were living in Cleveland, Ohio, and sold to Detective...
t-shirt
T-shirt
A T-shirt is a style of shirt. A T-shirt is buttonless and collarless, with short sleeves and frequently a round neck line....
, and has a large overbite
Malocclusion
A malocclusion is a misalignment of teeth or incorrect relation between the teeth of the two dental arches. The term was coined by Edward Angle, the "father of modern orthodontics", as a derivative of occlusion, which refers to the manner in which opposing teeth meet.-Presentation:Most people have...
(Logroño plays the character wearing a dental prosthesis
Prosthetic makeup
Prosthetic makeup is the process of using prosthetic sculpting, molding and casting techniques to create advanced cosmetic effects...
).
Elpidio is, therefore, naïve enough not to understand the ulterior motives of his classmates. Two of his neighbors are particularly guilty of charging admission to other classmates to show Elpidio naked from the waist down and exhibiting his rather overdeveloped genitalia at school. Elpidio, being an adult, is not carded for purchasing liquor, and is tricked into buying beer
Beer
Beer is the world's most widely consumed andprobably oldest alcoholic beverage; it is the third most popular drink overall, after water and tea. It is produced by the brewing and fermentation of sugars, mainly derived from malted cereal grains, most commonly malted barley and malted wheat...
and pornography
Pornography
Pornography or porn is the explicit portrayal of sexual subject matter for the purposes of sexual arousal and erotic satisfaction.Pornography may use any of a variety of media, ranging from books, magazines, postcards, photos, sculpture, drawing, painting, animation, sound recording, film, video,...
by his mates.
Elpidio appears sometimes, either in radio or in television, alongside his mutt
Mixed-breed dog
A mixed-breed dog, also known as a mutt or mongrel, is a dog whose ancestry is generally unknown and that has characteristics of two or more types of breeds. A mixed-breed may be a cross-breed dog, a random-bred dog, or a descendant of feral or pariah dog populations...
, Matruco, a rather affable dog who likes his belly to be scratched (something that inevitably raises Elpidio's curiosity about the dog's penis
Penis
The penis is a biological feature of male animals including both vertebrates and invertebrates...
).
At times, Don Eleuterio has been accused of mistreating his son, particularly because he never changes the family diet; since the only decent cooking recipe Eleuterio knows was the one he learned as attendant of a mess hall while in the Army (and since cooking anything more extravagant would be, in his view, effeminate), he feeds his son steamed white rice
Rice
Rice is the seed of the monocot plants Oryza sativa or Oryza glaberrima . As a cereal grain, it is the most important staple food for a large part of the world's human population, especially in East Asia, Southeast Asia, South Asia, the Middle East, and the West Indies...
, mashed potatoes and canned corn
Sweetcorn
Sweet corn is a variety of maize with a high sugar content. Sweet corn is the result of a naturally occurring recessive mutation in the genes which control conversion of sugar to starch inside the endosperm of the corn kernel...
every single day (and sometimes for both lunch and dinner
Dinner
Dinner is usually the name of the main meal of the day. Depending upon culture, dinner may be the second, third or fourth meal of the day. Originally, though, it referred to the first meal of the day, eaten around noon, and is still occasionally used for a noontime meal, if it is a large or main...
).
Elpidio is (or was) a regular character in various television series produced by Logroño: "De Noche Con Sunshine", "El Condominio" and "Por el casco de San Juan". On these programs, recurring character "Doña Soto" (played by Suzette Bacó) claims, after seeing Elpidio naked accidentally a few times, that "Él no es ningún nene ná" ("He's no little kid, awright!")
Eleuterio's love life
Don Eleuterio's first wife left him for a black American drill sergeant, which is one of his justifications for being racist. This occurred when Elpidio was a little boy; custody was granted to Eleuterio since she fled the Puerto Rican jurisdiction. He then spent years without female company.Eventually, Don Eleuterio befriended a widow, a Cuba
Cuba
The Republic of Cuba is an island nation in the Caribbean. The nation of Cuba consists of the main island of Cuba, the Isla de la Juventud, and several archipelagos. Havana is the largest city in Cuba and the country's capital. Santiago de Cuba is the second largest city...
n pharmacist, named Iris Eduarda, who is also a die-hard pro-statehood supporter (as many exiled Cubans in Puerto Rico are). Although Eleuterio denies it, they seem to have shared intimate moments; more than a few times she has mentioned the fact that Eleuterio uses "la pildorita azul" ("the little blue pill"), in reference to Viagra.
In recent programs Iris Eduarda has antagonized with listeners, since she is currently demanding that Eleuterio leave his radio program, marry her and move to a post-Fidel Castro
Fidel Castro
Fidel Alejandro Castro Ruz is a Cuban revolutionary and politician, having held the position of Prime Minister of Cuba from 1959 to 1976, and then President from 1976 to 2008. He also served as the First Secretary of the Communist Party of Cuba from the party's foundation in 1961 until 2011...
Cuba
Cuba
The Republic of Cuba is an island nation in the Caribbean. The nation of Cuba consists of the main island of Cuba, the Isla de la Juventud, and several archipelagos. Havana is the largest city in Cuba and the country's capital. Santiago de Cuba is the second largest city...
. Her interventions have angered listeners, who constantly advise Eleuterio against marrying her. Eleuterio is yet to decide whether he'll marry her or not.
When Miriam Ramirez de Ferrer became a widow, a chance visit to Don Eleuterio's program raised audiences expectations about a possible "romance" between the two. Ramirez and Logroño played the "romance" for close to three weeks through aired phone conversations. In an NPP fundraising party Ramirez and some followers staged a mock marriage between a costumed actor and Ramirez. Suspecting the situation had gone out of hand, Don Eleuterio claimed that he was "framed" and that everything was a setup.
History
The character of Eleuterio Quiñones dates from the mid 1980s, when it was part of the lineup for "Rompiendo el día" a morning radio show Logroño used to host with fellow actor and member of the Puerto Rican political satire collective Los Rayos Gamma, Silverio PérezSilverio Pérez
Silverio Pérez is a musician, comedian, entrepreneur and broadcasting media host, born in Guaynabo, Puerto Rico. He is known for several reasons, among them:* hosting several successful Puerto Rican television shows during his career....
. The radio station's studios were in Guaynabo, and whenever Logroño entered the building he would see the landscape attendant, an old man, struggling to pull weeds out. Logroño would discuss with Pérez how he would imagine the attendant's voice, what would his political persuasion be, and so on. Based on him, Logroño developed the character for his morning show. The show did not survive, but the character was well received by the show's audience.
When Logroño started doing his highly controversial television show, "Sunshine's Café" on WAPA-TV
WAPA-TV
WAPA-TV is an independent television station located in San Juan, Puerto Rico transmitting over digital channel 27, virtual channel 4. The station is owned by InterMedia Partners and is branded as WAPA Television....
, small sketches featuring actor Jaime Bello interviewing Eleuterio from outside his house were regularly featured in the show. Similar "appearances" occurred in televised showings of Los Rayos Gamma.
With time, Logroño was given the chance to do a political satire show on television station WAPA-TV
WAPA-TV
WAPA-TV is an independent television station located in San Juan, Puerto Rico transmitting over digital channel 27, virtual channel 4. The station is owned by InterMedia Partners and is branded as WAPA Television....
, which was called "Politiqueando", in 1996. As means to promote the television program, Logroño staged short on-air telephone calls to Salsoul, a Puerto Rican radio station. The early evening disc-jockey, Fernando Arévalo, would talk to some of the characters of the show, namely a cat puppet
Puppet
A puppet is an inanimate object or representational figure animated or manipulated by an entertainer, who is called a puppeteer. It is used in puppetry, a play or a presentation that is a very ancient form of theatre....
of Logroño's called Polito Garrapatoso, as well as to Don Eleuterio, for no longer than five minutes. Success from these phone calls was such that audiences demanded a longer treatment. "Agitando - El Show" was then born, giving Eleuterio ten, and later twenty minutes of airtime. Eventually the program grew in length, and Don Eleuterio was given a full hour of airtime daily. The program's name, "Agitando", means "Shaking (people up)", as to depict the expected uproar from segments of the audience whenever Don Eleuterio went on the air.
Controversy
Since Logroño is a pro-independence supporter, most statehooders see Eleuterio as an offensive character, and point to Logroño as having a covert agenda against the movement. Logroño counters by stating that he doesn't have to write a script for his character since, as his occasional mentor José Miguel AgrelotJosé Miguel Agrelot
Giuseppe Michael Agrelot , better known as José Miguel Agrelot, was a comedian, radio and television host and media icon in Puerto Rico...
said constantly, "the world is the best scriptwriter", and merely observing older statehood supporters in Puerto Rico provides him of enough original material. Logroño also claims that some of Eleuterio's criticism against some traditional customs within Puerto Rican culture, such as impunctuality, actually has a positive effect. However, he does concede that the whole concept of Don Eleuterio is that of irony
Irony
Irony is a rhetorical device, literary technique, or situation in which there is a sharp incongruity or discordance that goes beyond the simple and evident intention of words or actions...
taken to the extreme.
Critics such as former PNP (and now independent) senator Orlando Parga, Jr.
Orlando Parga
- Early life:Orlando Parga-Figueroa is a former Senator of Puerto Rico born in Mayaguez and currently resides in Caguas with his wife, Teresita. His father, Orlando Parga Tossas, was a leader of the StatehoodRepublican Party and a right-hand man to SRP leader Miguel A. García Méndez...
have debased the character publicly. However, because of the character's durability, most statehooders are by now used to Don Eleuterio's outrageousness, as evidenced by Parga's visit to his radio program in early 2006.
Missing in action
Eleuterio has a tendency to disappear from the airwaves of his radio program whenever an event negative to the PNP or the pro-statehood cause happens. For example, after the PDPs victory over the PNP in the 2000 general elections, Eleuterio spent three days off the air, while convalescing from an extreme case of diarrheaDiarrhea
Diarrhea , also spelled diarrhoea, is the condition of having three or more loose or liquid bowel movements per day. It is a common cause of death in developing countries and the second most common cause of infant deaths worldwide. The loss of fluids through diarrhea can cause dehydration and...
, induced by his ingestion of whiskey. Calls to the Quiñones household were answered by Elpidio, who would try to have his father reach the telephone, to no avail.
"You're Don Eleuterio!"
Don Eleuterio's views on life and politics in Puerto Rico are so extreme, that the character now serves as a cultural reference. Whenever someone's views within a group of people in Puerto Rico depict him or her as an extremist within the country's pro-statehood movement, or leaning too much to the conservativeConservatism
Conservatism is a political and social philosophy that promotes the maintenance of traditional institutions and supports, at the most, minimal and gradual change in society. Some conservatives seek to preserve things as they are, emphasizing stability and continuity, while others oppose modernism...
side of the political spectrum, the subject may find him or herself described as a "Don Eleuterio" by his peers.
Eleuterio, the historian
Around the time the 100th anniversary of the invasion of Puerto Rico by American forces during the Spanish-American WarSpanish-American War
The Spanish–American War was a conflict in 1898 between Spain and the United States, effectively the result of American intervention in the ongoing Cuban War of Independence...
was about to be celebrated (or protested, depending on someone's political view) in 1998, NPP Secretary of State (and later senator) Norma Burgos
Norma Burgos
Norma E. Burgos Andújar is a Puerto Rican politician. She has been a member of the Senate of Puerto Rico since 2000. She also served as the 17th Secretary of State under Governor Pedro Rosselló .-Early years and studies:...
suggested in a newspaper article, that Puerto Ricans such as Julio J. Henna
Julio J. Henna
Julio J. Henna was a Puerto Rican physician and political figure. Henna participated in the founding of the Puerto Rico Section of the Cuban Revolutionary Party in New York. He later supported the annexation of Puerto Rico to the United States....
had petitioned United States president William McKinley
William McKinley
William McKinley, Jr. was the 25th President of the United States . He is best known for winning fiercely fought elections, while supporting the gold standard and high tariffs; he succeeded in forging a Republican coalition that for the most part dominated national politics until the 1930s...
for an invasion, as to relieve Puerto Ricans of Spanish rule. In her article, she wanted to open the debate on whether Henna and other petitioners actually wanted McKinley to annex Puerto Rico to the United States and that, by using that as an excuse, McKinley had consented. In other words, Burgos established the theory of Puerto Rico being "invaded by invitation" by American troops.
According to historical record, the United States had been considering establishing a military base in the Caribbean as early as 1867. There is some evidence that Puerto Rico (or parts of it) had been considered as a candidate for such a base (through either invasion or purchase) as early as 1891. Historians claim that, even considering Henna's petition as an actual request for invasion, the timing of the letter was merely coincidental to a military event that was probably going to happen anyway, and as such, was arguably not affected by Henna's early request. In fact, a later meeting involving Henna, McKinley, Eugenio María de Hostos
Eugenio María de Hostos
Eugenio María de Hostos known as "El Ciudadano de América" , was a Puerto Rican educator, philosopher, intellectual, lawyer, sociologist and independence advocate....
, Manuel Zeno Gandía
Manuel Zeno Gandía
Dr. Manuel Zeno Gandía wrote the novel La Charca , which is considered by many to be the first Puerto Rican novel.-Early years:...
and other Puerto Rican leaders did take place in the White House
White House
The White House is the official residence and principal workplace of the president of the United States. Located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW in Washington, D.C., the house was designed by Irish-born James Hoban, and built between 1792 and 1800 of white-painted Aquia sandstone in the Neoclassical...
in Washington, D.C. (on January 19, 1899), in which they asked for a level of self-government similar or better to the one that had been granted to Puerto Rico just months before the invasion (to which McKinley reportedly refused later).
Burgos' article came about in a period when there was considerable debate in Puerto Rico on whether the public school system was being used by then pro-statehood governor Pedro Rosselló as a political indoctrination tool or not. When historians disputed Burgos' claim (which was favorably viewed by Eleuterio) as a distortion of historical fact, Burgos was publicly ridiculed by some. Eleuterio went to the point of "editing" a newspaper article (first published in Puerto Rico's premiere daily, El Nuevo Día
El Nuevo Día
El Nuevo Día is a Puerto Rican newspaper based in Guaynabo, Puerto Rico and distributed daily throughout Puerto Rico and some parts of the United States.- History :...
) in which he claimed that Puerto Rican history before 1898 and the Spanish American War was almost non-existent, and that the Taíno
Taíno people
The Taínos were pre-Columbian inhabitants of the Bahamas, Greater Antilles, and the northern Lesser Antilles. It is thought that the seafaring Taínos are relatives of the Arawak people of South America...
natives of Puerto Rico were its first drug traffickers. He meant the article to be used as a reference in Puerto Rican schools.
Burgos later lamented the incident, claiming that she was primarily a public administrator, and as such, she had better left the subject of historical debate to historians.
Guaynabo City
The PNP mayor of GuaynaboGuaynabo, Puerto Rico
Guaynabo is a municipality in the northern part of Puerto Rico, located in the northern coast of the island, north of Aguas Buenas; south of Cataño; east of Bayamón; and west of San Juan...
, Héctor O'Neill, bought a few English-language stop signs in 1998, as to save some money (English signs were cheaper than Spanish ones because of economies of scale
Economies of scale
Economies of scale, in microeconomics, refers to the cost advantages that an enterprise obtains due to expansion. There are factors that cause a producer’s average cost per unit to fall as the scale of output is increased. "Economies of scale" is a long run concept and refers to reductions in unit...
in the United States). At the suggestion of Rios Gracia, one of Guaynabo's municipal policemen (who had designed an English-language sign for his police unit, the Uniform Crime Reporting office), O'Neill had Ríos' sign design painted and placed in front of the police unit's office. He took the concept further and had a graphic artist redesign a new corporate identity for the city's police department. As he feared it would happen once he approved the proposed designs (O'Neill's candid reaction once he saw the proposed design for the police's patrol cars was reported in San Juan's El Vocero newspaper: "This looks gorgeous! Yet, I fear this will be all fucked up once people get to know about this!"), he was soon reprimanded by pro-independence citizens of town and Spanish language
Spanish language
Spanish , also known as Castilian , is a Romance language in the Ibero-Romance group that evolved from several languages and dialects in central-northern Iberia around the 9th century and gradually spread with the expansion of the Kingdom of Castile into central and southern Iberia during the...
purists in Puerto Rico for his use of English but was publicly praised by Don Eleuterio, who is also a native. O'Neill then bought several police patrol cars with the English phrase "Guaynabo City Police" painted on them. As expected, Eleuterio gave his imprimatur
Imprimatur
An imprimatur is, in the proper sense, a declaration authorizing publication of a book. The term is also applied loosely to any mark of approval or endorsement.-Catholic Church:...
to the move.
Many Puerto Ricans considered O'Neill's decision as a joke, as irritant as Eleuterio's humor. However, the publicity gave general acceptability to the use of the phrase "Guaynabo City" to describe the municipality, fueled in part by Don Eleuterio's approving rants. Since Guaynabo is also the city with the largest per capita income
Per capita income
Per capita income or income per person is a measure of mean income within an economic aggregate, such as a country or city. It is calculated by taking a measure of all sources of income in the aggregate and dividing it by the total population...
in Puerto Rico, it can afford to feature public works that are unique to the country, something that Eleuterio describes as "the closest thing in Puerto Rico to Walt Disney World", sort of a pro-statehood Valhalla
Valhalla
In Norse mythology, Valhalla is a majestic, enormous hall located in Asgard, ruled over by the god Odin. Chosen by Odin, half of those that die in combat travel to Valhalla upon death, led by valkyries, while the other half go to the goddess Freyja's field Fólkvangr...
.
The term was given international exposure in the Calle 13
Calle 13 (band)
Calle 13 is a band formed by stepbrothers René Pérez Joglar , who calls himself Residente and Eduardo José Cabra Martínez , who calls himself Visitante Calle 13 is a band formed by stepbrothers René Pérez Joglar (born February 23, 1978 in Hato Rey, a subsection of San Juan, Puerto Rico), who calls...
song Atrévete-te-te
Atrévete-te-te
"Atrévete-te-te" is a Grammy-Nominated reggaeton song by Puerto Rican urban duo Calle 13 from their eponymous debut album Calle 13, released in February 2006, by White Lion Records. It is one of the duo's well-known songs. It was a hit single in many Spanish American countries...
, which used it in jest.
Ferdinand Pérez's rise to power
Don Eleuterio's radio program, "Agitando - El Show", was the first (and, for a while, the only) publicity resource PPD legislative candidate Ferdinand Pérez had to promote himself prior to his 2000 election as member of the Puerto Rico House of Representatives. He participated, along with two other youth leaders (one from each opposition party in Puerto Rico) in a weekly discussion panel hosted by Eleuterio. The program's demographics (mainly young adults) proved to be quite appropriate for Pérez, since he was elected as an at-large House member by the third largest margin in the 2000 elections, and as a result, was elected House vice-president -an unprecedented feat for a newcomer to Puerto Rican politics. Pérez has credited "Agitando" (and particularly Don Eleuterio) as directly responsible for his acquired popularity.Format
Don Eleuterio is featured every weekday in Agitando - El Show, which airs at 5:00 PM, AST. The program is hosted by Arévalo and Logroño (and recently, by Aimée Cora, the station's marketingMarketing
Marketing is the process used to determine what products or services may be of interest to customers, and the strategy to use in sales, communications and business development. It generates the strategy that underlies sales techniques, business communication, and business developments...
executive, who happens to be the sister of MLB
Major League Baseball
Major League Baseball is the highest level of professional baseball in the United States and Canada, consisting of teams that play in the National League and the American League...
baseball players Joey Cora
Joey Cora
Jose Manuel Cora Amaro was a baseball player known as "The Rooster" with an 11 year career in the MLB spanning the years 1987 and 1989-1998. He played for the San Diego Padres of the National League and the Chicago White Sox, Seattle Mariners and Cleveland Indians of the American League...
and Alex Cora
Alex Cora
José Alexander "Alex" Cora is a Major League Baseball infielder. He played college baseball at the University of Miami.-Early career:...
). One of the station's sales executives, whose last name is Belgodere, joins the casts occasionally; his purpose is to balance Don Eleuterio's comments, given Belgodere's affiliation to the opposition party, the Popular Democratic Party of Puerto Rico.
Normally, the program starts by having Cora and Arévalo read the headlines of current news items. Don Eleuterio then joins in through the telephone (Logroño claims that the limited bandwidth of the phone call is actually preferred by the audience, rather than impersonating the character in the studio from behind a microphone). In the past, he usually started his intervention with a speech, complete with cathedral-like echo and a background rendition of The Star Spangled Banner or America The Beautiful
America the Beautiful
"America the Beautiful" is an American patriotic song. The lyrics were written by Katharine Lee Bates and the music composed by church organist and choirmaster Samuel A. Ward....
. This only happens occasionally in recent airings of the program.
Eleuterio then comments the news items, along with Arévalo (and sometimes Belgodere or Cora). The commentary is usually punctuated by soundbites from previous visits by politicians to the program. These soundbites are guaranteed to be humorous or unflattering, as to elicit a comic effect. Two memorable ones are one by former governoress of Puerto Rico, Sila Calderón: "Mentira... ¡Mentira! Eso es una mentira, grande, así, como de éste tamaño..." ("Lie... A lie! That's a big lie, about this big!"), and another from current Senate of Puerto Rico
Senate of Puerto Rico
The Senate of Puerto Rico is the upper house of the Legislative Assembly of Puerto Rico, the territorial legislature of Puerto Rico. The Senate is composed of 27 senators, representing eight constituent senatorial districts across the commonwealth, with two senators elected per district; an...
president Kenneth McClintock
Kenneth McClintock
Kenneth D. McClintock-Hernández is the current Secretary of State of Puerto Rico. Mr. McClintock served as co-chair of Hillary Clinton presidential campaign's National Hispanic Leadership Council in 2008, co-chaired Clinton's successful Puerto Rico primary campaign that year and served as the...
: "¿Y qué carajo
Cargados Carajos
Cargados Carajos Shoals are a group of about 16 small islands and islets on an extended reef in the Indian Ocean northeast of Mauritius. The islands have a total land area of 1.3 km². The reef measures more than 50 km from north to south, and is 5 km wide, cut by three passes. The...
te importa?" ("And why the fuck
Fuck
"Fuck" is an English word that is generally considered obscene which, in its most literal meaning, refers to the act of sexual intercourse. By extension it may be used to negatively characterize anything that can be dismissed, disdained, defiled, or destroyed."Fuck" can be used as a verb, adverb,...
should you care?").
Depending on the general mood of the program, he might open the phone lines for comments. Pro-statehood supporters usually ask him for his blessing, and some go to the extreme of calling him "Grandpa", in English. Non-statehood supporters are guaranteed to be scorned or ridiculed by Eleuterio.
Special Sections
If a news item proves to be controversial, Eleuterio breaks into an impromptu "Encuesta Relámpago" ("Flash Poll"), where people vote on two sides of an issue. Eleuterio only intervenes at the end of the poll.On Fridays, Eleuterio hosts "La Tribuna" ("The Podium"), a discussion panel that involves three youth leaders, one from each major political party in Puerto Rico. They are, of course, exposed to Eleuterio's questioning and ranting.
Occasionally, Don Eleuterio receives emails and letters from people who praise a particular situation that they have experienced while visiting or living in the United States. An example of this may be: a Puerto Rican that recently moved to Seattle, Washington
Seattle, Washington
Seattle is the county seat of King County, Washington. With 608,660 residents as of the 2010 Census, Seattle is the largest city in the Northwestern United States. The Seattle metropolitan area of about 3.4 million inhabitants is the 15th largest metropolitan area in the country...
, bought a new refrigerator
Refrigerator
A refrigerator is a common household appliance that consists of a thermally insulated compartment and a heat pump that transfers heat from the inside of the fridge to its external environment so that the inside of the fridge is cooled to a temperature below the ambient temperature of the room...
, is told by the salesperson at the store that the appliance would be delivered at precisely 10:00 AM (and not within an imprecise time or date range, as Eleuterio claims the norm is in Puerto Rico), and is delivered exactly at 9:59 AM. Eleuterio stages comments to these letters within a section called "El Otro Mundo" ("The Other World"), implying that the positive characteristic praised in it belongs somewhere too far removed from Puerto Rico from ever happening in the country. Usually the music theme for The X-Files
The X-Files
The X-Files is an American science fiction television series and a part of The X-Files franchise, created by screenwriter Chris Carter. The program originally aired from to . The show was a hit for the Fox network, and its characters and slogans became popular culture touchstones in the 1990s...
is played in the background while the section runs.
Don Eleuterio's intervention usually takes over the first hour of the show. The remaining half hour is usually reserved for Logroño's other comedic characters, Vitín Alicea
Vitin Alicea
Victor Alicea Arévalo, better known as Vitín Alicea, is a fictional comedic character created and portrayed by Emmanuel Sunshine Logroño. Created in the mid-1980s, Vitín remains a popular radio and television character in Puerto Rico...
(a clever closet homosexual who is a fan of wrestling
Wrestling
Wrestling is a form of grappling type techniques such as clinch fighting, throws and takedowns, joint locks, pins and other grappling holds. A wrestling bout is a physical competition, between two competitors or sparring partners, who attempt to gain and maintain a superior position...
), Chemba Osorio (a feminist who, at age 40, is unmarried by choice), or El Barbarazo del Amor (a sexual pervert turned into a media sexologist).
External links
- The Mickey Mouse Hat Water Tank worshipped by Eleuterio
