I-statement
Encyclopedia
An I-statement is a statement that begins with the word "I". It is frequently used in an attempt to be assertive without putting the listener on the defensive. It can be used to take ownership for one's feelings rather than saying they are caused by the other person. An example of this would be saying, "I feel angry when you make fun of my clothes, and I would prefer that you stop doing that." rather than "Quit saying that crap, you're really making me mad!" (The latter is an example of a "you-statement.")
I-statement can also be used in constructive criticism; for instance, one might say, "I had to read that section of your paper three times before I understood it," rather than, "This section is worded in a really confusing way," or "You need to learn how to word a paper more clearly." The former comment leaves open the possibility that the fault lies with the giver of the criticism. According to the Conflict Resolution Network, I-statements are a dispute resolution
conversation opener
that can be used to state how one sees things and how one would like things to be, without using inflaming language
According to Hope E. Morrow, a common pitfall in I-statement construction is using phrases like "I feel that..." or "I like that..." which typically express an opinion or judgment. Morrow favors following "I feel..." with a feeling such as "sad," "angry," etc.
I-statement can also be used in constructive criticism; for instance, one might say, "I had to read that section of your paper three times before I understood it," rather than, "This section is worded in a really confusing way," or "You need to learn how to word a paper more clearly." The former comment leaves open the possibility that the fault lies with the giver of the criticism. According to the Conflict Resolution Network, I-statements are a dispute resolution
Dispute resolution
Dispute resolution is the process of resolving disputes between parties.-Methods:Methods of dispute resolution include:* lawsuits * arbitration* collaborative law* mediation* conciliation* many types of negotiation* facilitation...
conversation opener
Conversation opener
A conversation opener is an introduction used to begin a conversation. They are frequently the subject of guides and seminars on how to make friends and/or meet people. Different situations may call for different openers A conversation opener is an introduction used to begin a conversation. They...
that can be used to state how one sees things and how one would like things to be, without using inflaming language
I-statement construction
According to Ohio Commission on Dispute Resolution & Conflict Management, an I-statement has four parts:- “I feel like___ (taking responsibility for one's own feelings)
- “I don't like it when__ ” (stating the behavior that is a problem)
- “because____” (what it is about the behavior or its consequences that one objects to)
- “Can we work this out together?” (be open to working on the problem together)
According to Hope E. Morrow, a common pitfall in I-statement construction is using phrases like "I feel that..." or "I like that..." which typically express an opinion or judgment. Morrow favors following "I feel..." with a feeling such as "sad," "angry," etc.