Polyfidelity
Encyclopedia
Polyfidelity is a form of polyamory
where all members are considered equal partners and agree to be sexually active only with other members of the group. The term originated in the Kerista Village commune in San Francisco which practiced polyfidelity from 1971 to 1991. The community expected all of its members, within bounds of gender
and sexual orientation
, to be sexually active with all other members, and for exclusive relationships
not to be formed. However, this aspect of polyfidelity is not always expected today.
Polyfaithful relationships are closed in the sense of closed and open marriage
s, in that partners agree not to be sexual outside the current members of the group. New members may generally be added to the group only by unanimous consensus of the existing members, or the group may not accept new members.
Previous to the Kerista Village experience, people would have likely called this arrangement "complex marriage" or simply a "group marriage." Indeed, one might think of polyfidelity as being very much like monogamy except that it may include more than two people (and may or may not be open to adding new members). The broader term polyamory was coined later, in the early 1990s.
, although risks rise somewhat with each person added. (Many polyamorous people achieve similar goals through forming condom commitment or latex barrier circles whose members are fluid bonded (bareback sex) only with each other and agree to use appropriate safer sex practices with anybody else, without the other restrictions of polyfidelity).
Others seek emotional safety from the relatively closed nature of the polyfaithful commitment.
The term polyexclusivity is sometimes used to clarify misunderstandings relating to the multiple meanings of 'fidelity'. There are many polyamorous groups who are fidelitous or faithful to themselves but who are also open to new sexual/romantic relationships. In these cases the term polyfidelity can be misleading.
Polyamory
Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved....
where all members are considered equal partners and agree to be sexually active only with other members of the group. The term originated in the Kerista Village commune in San Francisco which practiced polyfidelity from 1971 to 1991. The community expected all of its members, within bounds of gender
Gender
Gender is a range of characteristics used to distinguish between males and females, particularly in the cases of men and women and the masculine and feminine attributes assigned to them. Depending on the context, the discriminating characteristics vary from sex to social role to gender identity...
and sexual orientation
Sexual orientation
Sexual orientation describes a pattern of emotional, romantic, or sexual attractions to the opposite sex, the same sex, both, or neither, and the genders that accompany them. By the convention of organized researchers, these attractions are subsumed under heterosexuality, homosexuality,...
, to be sexually active with all other members, and for exclusive relationships
Monogamy
Monogamy /Gr. μονός+γάμος - one+marriage/ a form of marriage in which an individual has only one spouse at any one time. In current usage monogamy often refers to having one sexual partner irrespective of marriage or reproduction...
not to be formed. However, this aspect of polyfidelity is not always expected today.
Polyfaithful relationships are closed in the sense of closed and open marriage
Open marriage
Open marriage typically refers to a marriage in which the partners agree that each may engage in extramarital sexual relationships, without this being regarded as infidelity. There are many different styles of open marriage, with the partners having varying levels of input on their spouse's...
s, in that partners agree not to be sexual outside the current members of the group. New members may generally be added to the group only by unanimous consensus of the existing members, or the group may not accept new members.
Previous to the Kerista Village experience, people would have likely called this arrangement "complex marriage" or simply a "group marriage." Indeed, one might think of polyfidelity as being very much like monogamy except that it may include more than two people (and may or may not be open to adding new members). The broader term polyamory was coined later, in the early 1990s.
Advantages
One commonly cited advantage of this form of polyamory is the ability to fluid bond among more than two people while maintaining relative safety regarding STDs, so long as any new members are sufficiently tested before fluid bonding with the group, and keep their commitments. This would have health advantages similar to monogamyMonogamy
Monogamy /Gr. μονός+γάμος - one+marriage/ a form of marriage in which an individual has only one spouse at any one time. In current usage monogamy often refers to having one sexual partner irrespective of marriage or reproduction...
, although risks rise somewhat with each person added. (Many polyamorous people achieve similar goals through forming condom commitment or latex barrier circles whose members are fluid bonded (bareback sex) only with each other and agree to use appropriate safer sex practices with anybody else, without the other restrictions of polyfidelity).
Others seek emotional safety from the relatively closed nature of the polyfaithful commitment.
Disadvantages
Some polyamorous people desire more flexibility than polyfidelity provides. For example, open relationships do not restrict sexual and emotional bonding in these ways. Some polyamorous people also report that it is difficult to find partners who are mutually compatible enough to form committed group marriages like polyfidelity.Other usage
In the book Lesbian Polyfidelity, author Celeste West uses the term polyfidelity in much the same way that others use polyamory. This may represent independent coinage of the same term within a different community, and this usage is not common among polyamorists in general. West uses the term to emphasize the concept (common in polyamory) that one can be faithful to one's commitments without those commitments including sexual exclusivity.The term polyexclusivity is sometimes used to clarify misunderstandings relating to the multiple meanings of 'fidelity'. There are many polyamorous groups who are fidelitous or faithful to themselves but who are also open to new sexual/romantic relationships. In these cases the term polyfidelity can be misleading.
External links
- Polyamory 101 – definitions
- Responsible Non-monogamy: A Brief Introduction to Polyamory – definitions
- Kerista – Website by and for former members of Kerista commune
- Libertazia – An intentional community based partially on the principles of the Kerista Commune
- http://www.lovemore.com/terms.php – Terms and definitions from Loving More Non-Profit Organization