This Sporting Life (radio program)
Encyclopedia
This Sporting Life was a culturally iconic Triple J
radio comedy programme, created by award-winning actor-writer-comedians John Doyle
and Greig Pickhaver
, who performed as their characters Roy and HG
. Broadcast from 1986 to 2008, it was one of the longest-running, most popular and most successful radio comedy programmes of the post-television era in Australia. Undoubtedly the longest-running show in Triple J's programming history, it commanded a large and dedicated nationwide audience throughout its 22-year run.
The title This Sporting Life
was taken from the novel and 1963 film of the same name.
) as a panel member and which was primarily concerned with the world of horse and greyhound racing
. Interviewed in 2000, John Doyle cited controversial broadcaster John Laws
as a major influence:
Although TSL was not an instant hit—some Triple J listeners at first mistook it for a real sports show—it soon found a loyal audience in Sydney, and this grew into to a substantial nationwide following in the 1990s as Triple J expanded to become a national network.
TSL was also notable as one of the few successful topical comedy programmes that was substantially improvised. Doyle and Pickhaver would reportedly meet on the morning of the broadcast to discuss the week's events and agree on a general list of topics, but almost all of their discussions were improvised, live to air. The consistent high quality of their humour is doubly remarkable given the show's long running time of three hours every Sunday afternoon (originally four hours on Saturdays).
There was also a series of regular live feature segments; one of the earliest of these was "Tips from the Other Side", in which HG Nelson would list predictions for forthcoming sporting fixtures which had been provided by contacting the spirits of deceased celebrities. According to HG, many these tips were provided thanks to the spirit of the late British "psychic" Doris Stokes
, who acted as an intermediary. During one of these segments it was revealed that the spirits of the Russian Royal Family were avid fans of Rugby League
. For several years in the late 1980s the show also featured a weekly satirical roundup of entertainment at local Sydney clubs.
Guests appeared on the programme in the early days, such as comedienne Angela Webber
in the guise of "punk granny" Lillian Pascoe, but guest appearances were gradually eliminated as the years passed. However the duo maintained an enduring relationship with actor Robbie McGregor
who, in the guise of "King Wally Otto In The Soundproof Booth", provided the introduction, links and a wide variety of parodic fake advertisements. Australian Big Brother host Gretel Killeen
and actor-comedian Jonathan Biggins
have also provided voice-overs for many fake ads.
In the last few years of the series comedian Chris Taylor
from The Chaser
filled in for John Doyle, broadcasting alongside HG Nelson on the occasions when Doyle was absent due to "other media commitments".
Aside from the regular improvised discussions and fake ads, one of the show's most enduring features was the listener giveaway segment, "The Fat", two of which occurred per show ("the first Fat of the afternoon", typically open to women only, and "the second Fat of the afternoon", open to all comers). In these competitions, listeners were asked to phone in with the answer to a question sourced from one of that afternoon's wide-ranging and often fantastical discussions of sporting news and personalities, for example: "Who is known as the founding father of Russian rugby league"?
These included services such as The Elvis Society (a dating service for "pillows") and products such as "The Totally Ian Roberts Bar", a confectionery item (referring to gay rugby league
player Ian Roberts), the HG Nelson Butchery -- "still doing things with meat other butchers only dream of" -- "Roy's Rectal Ring Balm" (a rectal ointment) and "Happy Jack's Ta-taa Packs" (a body bag) -- as well as innumerable parody books, films and TV series. Other highlights included a long-running series of fake ads for "Istengar", an esoteric branch of yoga that teaches practitioners how to create works of art from their own faeces. A recent fake ad (satirising the Nine Network's The Footy Show
), promotes Rex Mossop
's Rugby League Finishing School, which offers training to footballers hoping to pursue a career in the media.
In recent years, real-life sporting stars such as rugby league players Stan Jurd
and Paul Sironen
also recorded parodic voice-overs for the show promoting fictional bodies such as the "National Rugby League Party", a fictitious political organisation.
In its last years TSL introduced another popular recurring voice-over character, Sydney car dealer Frosty Lahood (voiced by ABC NewsRadio
sports reporter David Lord), whose famous "No root: no toot" deal offered customers their money back if the attractive new vehicle (usually a Daewoo Nubira
or Hyundai Lantra) did not enable the buyer to "get a root" (i.e. have sex) within 24 hours of purchase.
Another parody was the "Alan Jones
Scouts for God" child day-care centre, offering all-day child care for only five dollars. The slogan of the Alan Jones Scouts for God was: "If the kids are happy, and you're happy, there's a fair chance we're happy too".
. It ran for several years in the late 1980s and early 1990s and two volumes of scripts were later published in book form, with illustrations by cartoonist Bill Leak
, who had an enduring relationship with the duo.
The basic conceit of the sketch was that the small New South Wales
south coast town of Ulladulla was heavily populated by famous Australian sporting and show business identities, that many of these celebrities owned businesses in the area or worked in various official capacities in the town, and that all were regularly involved in hilarious and often ribald misadventures.
Prominent recurring characters included the town's mayor, renowned TV composer and conductor Tommy Tycho
, former TV wrestler Mario Milano
, owner of the Bluebird Cafe, and former NSW Premier Barry Unsworth
, owner of the disreputable 'Cardigan Club'. This fictional Ulladulla also boasted a colossal statue of long-distance swimmer Linda McGill ("The Big Linda, which stood astride the entrance to the boat harbour and featured a revolving restaurant
in its head). All the streets were named after sporting or TV stars, and the local high school was named after rugby league player (Barry Beath
).
Doyle and Pickhaver also interweave their dialogue with a colourful and uniquely Australian form of linguistic comedy that often verges on the obscene, although they very rarely use "four-letter words" unless particularly enraged.
Over the years they have coined many memorable parodic words and terms, while others revive archaic expressions from their youth, and many have since entered the vernacular in Australia.
Many listeners will be familiar with the TSL lexicon, which includes words and phrases such as:
The duo are well-known for their lengthy, hyperbolic dissertations on the characters of sporting and cultural identities. Roy is renowned for his long-winded and extremely colourful demolition of almost every conceivable aspect of the personality and performance of a sports star with whom he is displeased.
He will often describe the subject as "a hopeless joke", and declare that they are a fool to him/herself and to his/her family, state and country of origin; this climactic phase of his analysis is usually delivered at the top of his voice. Yet, paradoxically, Roy almost invariably concludes these harangues with quiet, amiable remarks on what a nice person the subject is, how much he likes them, and how much he or she has contributed to their particular field of endeavour. This can also been reversed such as when commentating the first Melbourne Grand Prix
he praised the track as "the best in the world... superior to Monza
, Spa
and Hockenheim
" which were all "rubbish". When there was a big crash on the first corner he claimed the track was to blame because it was "a joke".
Although usually more concise than Roy, and typically taking the role of presenter/interviewer who sets out the subject and poses questions for Roy to comment on, HG Nelson has his own unique and colourful editorial style. On many occasions he has described decisions or innovations with which he disagrees as "a hastily cobbled-together farrago". He once promised that he would "walk nude down George Street
with a pie on my head" if the outcome of a sporting fixture did not match his prediction, and during one especially memorable rant he denounced golfer Greg Norman
as:
In his roundup of the 2006 Melbourne Cup
, Nelson described the unusual hat he had worn to the event, which was fashioned in the form of a miniature chicken-processing factory, and which automatically dispensed tiny chickens for "the kiddies". The duo have also long been advocates of the concept of employing "celebrity shooters" at racing fixtures—i.e. hiring well-known personalities to 'put down' horses that are badly injured during races and in 2008 they energetically promoted the concept of a national pig-shoot for peace.
TV programming is another favourite target for duo's satire. Responding to the growth in realty TV progamming, Roy suggested several innovative new programmes including "Celebrities With Gastric" and "Celebrity Horses With Gastric".
Cricket legend Sir Donald Bradman has long been a target of the duo's satire, and it is now well established—at least according to Roy & HG—that Bradman was a spy for the Japanese during World War II
. They have also deduced that, in his twilight years, "The Don" was locked in a shed at the back of his house in Bowral, NSW and forced to sign millions of items of all descriptions in order to capitalise on the inevitably lucrative market in Bradman memorabilia that would emerge after his death.
, who was famous for his outspoken opinions and hilarious tautologies
.
Roy will often begin his commentaries sotto voce as a mocking parody of Sydney radio announcer Alan Jones
, but often finishes screaming at the top of his lungs. By his own account, Slaven has represented Australia in every known sport for most of the 20th century, has ridden in every Melbourne Cup (and won most of them) on his ageless mount Rooting King, is on intimate terms with every major sports, TV, music and film personality in modern history, as well as being a close personal friend of many top racehorses and greyhound
s.
Roy's tales of sporting achievement are mixed with reminiscences of his youth in Lithgow
, his membership of the rambunctious Lithgow Shamrocks rugby league
team, and his formative relationship with mentor and coach 'Grassy' Grannell. Doyle gives a strong scatological edge to the Slaven character and Roy's commentaries and recollections often include hilarious anecdotes about celebrities or teammates who were stricken by attacks of vomiting and diarrhoea—invariably referred to by the quaint Australian term "gastric".
Other memorable Slaven recollections have included the assistance he gave to music star Cher during her bout with chronic fatigue syndrome
-- which included a daily regimen in which Slaven tied Cher to the back of a car and dragged her behind it for several kilometres—and his revelation that American film actress Kim Basinger
planned to buy her home town, rename it "Basingerville" and rebuild it as a showpiece of modern sanitary technology where, thanks to a transparent sewerage system, residents could follow their effluent all the way from toilet to outfall.
matches, as well as the rugby league and AFL
grand finals (dubbed the "Festival of the Boot", parts one and two).
At the opening of each State of Origin match (and the Grand Finals) Roy and HG traditionally drown out the obligatory rendition of the Australian national anthem—typically performed at the actual event by a minor Australian music celebrity—by playing the lugubrious country-and-western song "I Thank You", recorded in 1969 by former boxing champion Lionel Rose
.
The choice of this song seems to have been inspired by several interconnected satirical motives—the appalling standard of Rose's vocal performance, the cliched sentimentality of the lyrics ("When a boy becomes a man, he must do the best he can"), the inherent violence associated with the former boxer, Rose, and the ironic satire implicit in the phenomenon of a former sports champion (with a very poor singing voice) attempting to establish a career in popular music by recording a prosaic genre love song written by a faded 1960s pop star (Johnny Young
).
The duo, particularly Slaven's, commentary often features sensationalist over-reactions to the game at hand, such as calling for entire teams of players to be sacked after losses, or even questioning whether certain teams will ever win another match in the future. The commentary is also notable for its overly biased support of whichever team is winning, and the calling of every player on the field by their Roy & HG-assigned nicknames.
On many occasions, the opening minutes of their 'call' have featured Roy's scathing comments on the various celebrities he has encountered at the match, and his vociferous denunciation of the often hilariously bad pre-match and half-time "entertainment", which regularly feature massed displays by large groups of "kiddies" with "ballooowens" (balloons) and stilted performances by imported has-been stars like Billy Idol
and Tina Turner
, whose only real connection to The Game is the hefty paycheque they receive from the NSWRL for their brief appearances.
. The huge popularity of one of these, The Dream with Roy and HG
, took Roy & HG's unique comedy style to thousands of Australians who had never listened to the radio show or watched the ABC series.
Although HG Nelson had announced at the end of the previous week's show that they would return on Sunday 7 December for the last programme of the year, it did not go ahead as scheduled and was replaced by a music shift.
Roy and HG began broadcasting on Triple M on January 12, 2008, with a show called The Life to be presented during drive time at 4pm to 7pm every Monday and Friday on all Triple M stations, excluding Adelaide
. Like This Sporting Life, it is a sport/comedy show, and also uses some phases from TSL.
Triple J
triple j is a nationally networked Australian radio station intended to appeal to listeners between the ages of 18 and 30. The government-funded station is a division of the Australian Broadcasting Corporation...
radio comedy programme, created by award-winning actor-writer-comedians John Doyle
John Doyle (comedian)
John Partick Doyle AM is an award-winning Australian actor, writer, radio presenter and comedian.-Early life:Doyle was born in Lithgow, New South Wales in 1953 into a music-loving, Catholic household with three sisters and a brother. His mother was a business woman and father a railway fettler...
and Greig Pickhaver
Greig Pickhaver
alt=Greig Pickhaver|thumb|In May 2010Greig Pickhaver AM is an actor, comedian and writer, who forms one half of the Australian sports comedy duo Roy and HG...
, who performed as their characters Roy and HG
Roy and HG
Roy & HG is an Australian comedy duo, comprising Greig Pickhaver in the role of "H [Harry] G Nelson" and John Doyle as "'Rampaging' Roy Slaven". Their act is an affectionate but irreverent parody of Australia's obsession with sport. Their characters based on archetypes in sports journalism: Nelson...
. Broadcast from 1986 to 2008, it was one of the longest-running, most popular and most successful radio comedy programmes of the post-television era in Australia. Undoubtedly the longest-running show in Triple J's programming history, it commanded a large and dedicated nationwide audience throughout its 22-year run.
The title This Sporting Life
This Sporting Life
This Sporting Life is a 1963 British film based on a novel of the same name by David Storey which won the 1960 Macmillan Fiction Award. It tells the story of a rugby league footballer, Frank Machin, in Wakefield, a mining area of Yorkshire, whose romantic life is not as successful as his sporting...
was taken from the novel and 1963 film of the same name.
Early years
Often referred to by its acronym, TSL, the show was a parody of sporting panel programmes, although the duo cast a wide comedic net that encompassed entertainment, politics, celebrity and contemporary Australian culture in general. It was modeled to some extent on the popular 1980s Melbourne radio sports comedy panel show Punter To Punter, which also featured Pickhaver (as HG NelsonGreig Pickhaver
alt=Greig Pickhaver|thumb|In May 2010Greig Pickhaver AM is an actor, comedian and writer, who forms one half of the Australian sports comedy duo Roy and HG...
) as a panel member and which was primarily concerned with the world of horse and greyhound racing
Greyhound racing
Greyhound racing is the sport of racing greyhounds. The dogs chase a lure on a track until they arrive at the finish line. The one that arrives first is the winner....
. Interviewed in 2000, John Doyle cited controversial broadcaster John Laws
John Laws
Richard John Sinclair "John" Laws, CBE , an Australian radio presenter, sometimes known as Lawsie, was from the 1970s until his retirement in 2007, the host of a hugely successful morning radio program, which mixed music with interviews, opinion, live advertising readings and listener talkback...
as a major influence:
- "We started with This Sporting Life and what we did was anti-commercial. We modeled it, in the early days, on the John LawsJohn LawsRichard John Sinclair "John" Laws, CBE , an Australian radio presenter, sometimes known as Lawsie, was from the 1970s until his retirement in 2007, the host of a hugely successful morning radio program, which mixed music with interviews, opinion, live advertising readings and listener talkback...
show, constant self-promotion and constant promotion of products that were your own."
Although TSL was not an instant hit—some Triple J listeners at first mistook it for a real sports show—it soon found a loyal audience in Sydney, and this grew into to a substantial nationwide following in the 1990s as Triple J expanded to become a national network.
TSL was also notable as one of the few successful topical comedy programmes that was substantially improvised. Doyle and Pickhaver would reportedly meet on the morning of the broadcast to discuss the week's events and agree on a general list of topics, but almost all of their discussions were improvised, live to air. The consistent high quality of their humour is doubly remarkable given the show's long running time of three hours every Sunday afternoon (originally four hours on Saturdays).
Guests and comedy segments
Aside from their improvised commentary, over the years, This Sporting Life included numerous scripted, pre-recorded segments, such as the topical satire commentaries "The Nelson Report" and "Date's Up, With Roy Slaven".There was also a series of regular live feature segments; one of the earliest of these was "Tips from the Other Side", in which HG Nelson would list predictions for forthcoming sporting fixtures which had been provided by contacting the spirits of deceased celebrities. According to HG, many these tips were provided thanks to the spirit of the late British "psychic" Doris Stokes
Doris Stokes
Doris May Fisher Stokes , born Doris Sutton, was a British spiritualist and psychic medium.She was a controversial figure, with some believing her to possess psychic abilities, while sceptics stated that her performances amounted to nothing more than cold reading, a technique used to create the...
, who acted as an intermediary. During one of these segments it was revealed that the spirits of the Russian Royal Family were avid fans of Rugby League
Rugby league
Rugby league football, usually called rugby league, is a full contact sport played by two teams of thirteen players on a rectangular grass field. One of the two codes of rugby football, it originated in England in 1895 by a split from Rugby Football Union over paying players...
. For several years in the late 1980s the show also featured a weekly satirical roundup of entertainment at local Sydney clubs.
Guests appeared on the programme in the early days, such as comedienne Angela Webber
Angela Webber
Angela Webber was an Australian author, TV writer, producer and comedian.-Early life:Webber was born in 1954 to Bruce Webber, the head of light entertainment for ABC radio, and Nan, a journalist...
in the guise of "punk granny" Lillian Pascoe, but guest appearances were gradually eliminated as the years passed. However the duo maintained an enduring relationship with actor Robbie McGregor
Robbie McGregor
Robbie McGregor is an Australian actor, presenter, and voice-over artist. His voice is known to many Australians as the "voice" of SBS-TV, for whom he had recorded station announcements until 2005...
who, in the guise of "King Wally Otto In The Soundproof Booth", provided the introduction, links and a wide variety of parodic fake advertisements. Australian Big Brother host Gretel Killeen
Gretel Killeen
Gretel Killeen is an Australian journalist and author. Killeen is well known for being the primary host of Big Brother Australia from its inception in 2001 until the 2007 season ....
and actor-comedian Jonathan Biggins
Jonathan Biggins
Jonathan Biggins , is an Australian actor, singer, writer and comedian. He has appeared on film, stage and television, as well as in satirical sketch comedy television programs...
have also provided voice-overs for many fake ads.
In the last few years of the series comedian Chris Taylor
Chris Taylor (comedian)
Christopher Thornton "Chris" Taylor is an Australian comedian, writer and former radio host from Sydney. As a member of The Chaser, he is best known for co-writing and appearing on satirical ABC Television shows CNNNN and The Chaser's War on Everything...
from The Chaser
The Chaser
The Chaser are an Australian satirical comedian group, known for their television programmes on the Australian Broadcasting Corporation channel. The group take their name from their production of satirical newspaper, a publication known to challenge conventions of taste...
filled in for John Doyle, broadcasting alongside HG Nelson on the occasions when Doyle was absent due to "other media commitments".
Aside from the regular improvised discussions and fake ads, one of the show's most enduring features was the listener giveaway segment, "The Fat", two of which occurred per show ("the first Fat of the afternoon", typically open to women only, and "the second Fat of the afternoon", open to all comers). In these competitions, listeners were asked to phone in with the answer to a question sourced from one of that afternoon's wide-ranging and often fantastical discussions of sporting news and personalities, for example: "Who is known as the founding father of Russian rugby league"?
Advertising parodies
Doyle and Pickhaver wrote dozens of parody advertisements for a vast range of imaginary products and services provided by Roy and HG's numerous fictional companies, most of which were gathered under the Nelson-Slaven Industries banner.These included services such as The Elvis Society (a dating service for "pillows") and products such as "The Totally Ian Roberts Bar", a confectionery item (referring to gay rugby league
Rugby league
Rugby league football, usually called rugby league, is a full contact sport played by two teams of thirteen players on a rectangular grass field. One of the two codes of rugby football, it originated in England in 1895 by a split from Rugby Football Union over paying players...
player Ian Roberts), the HG Nelson Butchery -- "still doing things with meat other butchers only dream of" -- "Roy's Rectal Ring Balm" (a rectal ointment) and "Happy Jack's Ta-taa Packs" (a body bag) -- as well as innumerable parody books, films and TV series. Other highlights included a long-running series of fake ads for "Istengar", an esoteric branch of yoga that teaches practitioners how to create works of art from their own faeces. A recent fake ad (satirising the Nine Network's The Footy Show
The NRL Footy Show
The Footy Show is a Logie Award-winning Australian sports variety television programme, shown on the Nine Network and its affiliates. Following the success of the AFL program of the same name, the Nine Network quickly developed a version for the rugby league market. The rugby league version has...
), promotes Rex Mossop
Rex Mossop
Rex Peers Mossop was an Australian rugby league and rugby union footballer—a dual-code international, and an Australian television personality from 1964 until 1991.-Rugby union career:...
's Rugby League Finishing School, which offers training to footballers hoping to pursue a career in the media.
In recent years, real-life sporting stars such as rugby league players Stan Jurd
Stan Jurd
Stan Jurd, born November 22, 1958, is a former professional rugby league player for the North Sydney Bears and Parramatta Eels in the New South Wales Rugby League competition. Jurd primarily played in the front-row....
and Paul Sironen
Paul Sironen
Paul Sironen is an Australian former professional rugby league footballer who was a prominent second rower for the Balmain Tigers during the late 1980s and early 1990s...
also recorded parodic voice-overs for the show promoting fictional bodies such as the "National Rugby League Party", a fictitious political organisation.
In its last years TSL introduced another popular recurring voice-over character, Sydney car dealer Frosty Lahood (voiced by ABC NewsRadio
ABC NewsRadio
ABC NewsRadio is an Australian Broadcasting Corporation radio service devoted to delivering live and 24-hour news updates and information. The service is available on a number of broadcasts right around Australia, including AM/FM radio, some pay-TV platforms and online via the Internet.Originally...
sports reporter David Lord), whose famous "No root: no toot" deal offered customers their money back if the attractive new vehicle (usually a Daewoo Nubira
Daewoo Nubira
The Daewoo Nubira is a compact car produced by South Korean automaker Daewoo Motors from 1997 to 2008.The first generation car, model J100, was released to the market in 1997 as Daewoo Nubira, and it was sold until 1999. It was developed as a replacement for the GM T platform-based Daewoo Nexia and...
or Hyundai Lantra) did not enable the buyer to "get a root" (i.e. have sex) within 24 hours of purchase.
Another parody was the "Alan Jones
Alan Jones (radio broadcaster)
Alan Belford Jones AO is an Australian radio broadcaster, former rugby union and rugby league coach and administrator.Jones hosts Sydney's most popular breakfast radio program, on radio station 2GB...
Scouts for God" child day-care centre, offering all-day child care for only five dollars. The slogan of the Alan Jones Scouts for God was: "If the kids are happy, and you're happy, there's a fair chance we're happy too".
The South Coast News
One of the show's most popular scripted segments was "The South Coast News", a parody news bulletin read by real-life journalist and TV presenter Paul MurphyPaul Murphy
Paul Murphy may refer to:* Paul Murphy , Australian political journalist.* Paul Murphy , award-winning Australian cinematographer* Paul Murphy , American jazz drummer...
. It ran for several years in the late 1980s and early 1990s and two volumes of scripts were later published in book form, with illustrations by cartoonist Bill Leak
Bill Leak
Bill Leak is a cartoonist and painter, primarily of portraits. He is the daily editorial cartoonist on The Australian newspaper. He has won the Walkley Awards nine times....
, who had an enduring relationship with the duo.
The basic conceit of the sketch was that the small New South Wales
New South Wales
New South Wales is a state of :Australia, located in the east of the country. It is bordered by Queensland, Victoria and South Australia to the north, south and west respectively. To the east, the state is bordered by the Tasman Sea, which forms part of the Pacific Ocean. New South Wales...
south coast town of Ulladulla was heavily populated by famous Australian sporting and show business identities, that many of these celebrities owned businesses in the area or worked in various official capacities in the town, and that all were regularly involved in hilarious and often ribald misadventures.
Prominent recurring characters included the town's mayor, renowned TV composer and conductor Tommy Tycho
Tommy Tycho
Thomas Tycho AM MBE is a multi-talented Hungarian-born Australian pianist, conductor, composer and arranger. He was associated with musical productions on Australian television for many years from its inception in 1956, including such programs as The Mavis Bramston Show...
, former TV wrestler Mario Milano
Mario Milano
Mario Bulfone, better known by his ring name Mario Milano is a former professional wrestler. Milano got his start in wrestling in Venezuela and later competed in the United States and Australia.-Early career:...
, owner of the Bluebird Cafe, and former NSW Premier Barry Unsworth
Barry Unsworth
Barry Unsworth is a British novelist who is known for novels with historical themes. He has published 15 novels, and has been shortlisted for the Booker Prize three times, winning once for the 1992 novel Sacred Hunger....
, owner of the disreputable 'Cardigan Club'. This fictional Ulladulla also boasted a colossal statue of long-distance swimmer Linda McGill ("The Big Linda, which stood astride the entrance to the boat harbour and featured a revolving restaurant
Revolving restaurant
A revolving restaurant is a usually tower restaurant eating space designed to rest atop a broad circular revolving platform that operates as a large turntable. The building remains stationary and the diners are carried on the revolving floor. The revolving rate varies between one and three times...
in its head). All the streets were named after sporting or TV stars, and the local high school was named after rugby league player (Barry Beath
Barry Beath
Barry Beath was an Australian professional rugby league footballer, a second-row forward for the St. George Dragons in the New South Wales Rugby League premiership competition...
).
Humour and terms
Much of Roy and HG's comedy is topical, poking fun at current sporting news, the foibles, ego trips and media gaffes of sporting, film and music stars, and the often risible phraseology used by sporting writers and commentators.Doyle and Pickhaver also interweave their dialogue with a colourful and uniquely Australian form of linguistic comedy that often verges on the obscene, although they very rarely use "four-letter words" unless particularly enraged.
Over the years they have coined many memorable parodic words and terms, while others revive archaic expressions from their youth, and many have since entered the vernacular in Australia.
Many listeners will be familiar with the TSL lexicon, which includes words and phrases such as:
- "bed flute" or simply "flute" -- the male sex organ
- "bugger-all to the power of less" -- nothing
- "bush-junk" -- useless native or introduced wild animals, suitable only for shooting
- "date" -- anus
- "dwahl" -- a slump in sporting form or a period of poor performance
- "football head" -- the Zen-like focus or mindset required to play a good game of footy; underperforming players are often described as not having their football head on
- "pillow" -- a pejorative term, signifiying that a player (typically in Rugby League or ARL) lacks the necessary level of aggression and/or masculinity, which probably derives from the Australian slang term "pillow-biter" (homosexual)
- "(Planet) Koozbane" -- a perennial Nelson-ism applied to sportspersons who have been stunned by a heavy blow, fall or tackle. The term is believed to derive from the name of the home planet of the alien puppet characters featured on The Muppet ShowThe Muppet ShowThe Muppet Show is a British television programme produced by American puppeteer Jim Henson and featuring Muppets. After two pilot episodes were produced in 1974 and 1975, the show premiered on 5 September 1976 and five series were produced until 15 March 1981, lasting 120 episodes...
and Sesame StreetSesame StreetSesame Street has undergone significant changes in its history. According to writer Michael Davis, by the mid-1970s the show had become "an American institution". The cast and crew expanded during this time, including the hiring of women in the crew and additional minorities in the cast. The... - "love-tap" -- a blow inflicted on another player (usually during League or ARL games) without the intention of inflicting serious harm
- "night-tools" -- genital organs
- "night-tool work" -- sexual intercourse
- "room of mirrors, the" -- a metaphorical mirror-lined room to which players are (or should be) banished for a period of time, in order to renew their motivation by "taking a long, hard look at themselves"
- "set of seven" -- one week
- "sloop" -- penis; the organ is said to be "pointing north" when erect
- "Sweet Science, The" -- boxing
- "yips, the" -- a grave condition that adversely affects the performance of professional golfers
The duo are well-known for their lengthy, hyperbolic dissertations on the characters of sporting and cultural identities. Roy is renowned for his long-winded and extremely colourful demolition of almost every conceivable aspect of the personality and performance of a sports star with whom he is displeased.
He will often describe the subject as "a hopeless joke", and declare that they are a fool to him/herself and to his/her family, state and country of origin; this climactic phase of his analysis is usually delivered at the top of his voice. Yet, paradoxically, Roy almost invariably concludes these harangues with quiet, amiable remarks on what a nice person the subject is, how much he likes them, and how much he or she has contributed to their particular field of endeavour. This can also been reversed such as when commentating the first Melbourne Grand Prix
Melbourne Grand Prix
Melbourne Grand Prix may refer to:*Australian Grand Prix, Formula One auto race*Melbourne Grand Prix , a Grand Prix tennis tournament played from 1982 through 1985...
he praised the track as "the best in the world... superior to Monza
Autodromo Nazionale Monza
The Autodromo Nazionale Monza is a race track located near the town of Monza, north of Milan, in Italy. The circuit's biggest event is the Formula One Italian Grand Prix, which has been hosted there since the sport's inception....
, Spa
Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps
The Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps is the venue of the Formula One Belgian Grand Prix and the Spa 24 Hours endurance race. It is also home to the all Volkswagen club event, 25 Hours of Spa, run by the Uniroyal Fun Cup. It is one of the most challenging race tracks in the world, mainly due to its...
and Hockenheim
Hockenheimring
The Hockenheimring Baden-Württemberg is an automobile racing track situated near the town of Hockenheim in Baden-Württemberg, Germany, located on Bertha Benz Memorial Route. Amongst other motor racing events, it biennially hosts the Formula One German Grand Prix...
" which were all "rubbish". When there was a big crash on the first corner he claimed the track was to blame because it was "a joke".
Although usually more concise than Roy, and typically taking the role of presenter/interviewer who sets out the subject and poses questions for Roy to comment on, HG Nelson has his own unique and colourful editorial style. On many occasions he has described decisions or innovations with which he disagrees as "a hastily cobbled-together farrago". He once promised that he would "walk nude down George Street
George Street, Sydney
George Street is one of Sydney's most notable city streets. There are more high rise buildings and more ASX 100 companies located here than anywhere else in Australia, and is well known for being busy around-the-clock...
with a pie on my head" if the outcome of a sporting fixture did not match his prediction, and during one especially memorable rant he denounced golfer Greg Norman
Greg Norman
Gregory John Norman AO is an Australian professional golfer and entrepreneur who spent 331 weeks as the world's Number 1 ranked golfer in the 1980s and 1990s...
as:
- "... a hapless water buffalo, wallowing around in the swamp, waiting for the safari to wander by and finish him off".
In his roundup of the 2006 Melbourne Cup
Melbourne Cup
The Melbourne Cup is Australia's major Thoroughbred horse race. Marketed as "the race that stops a nation", it is a 3,200 metre race for three-year-olds and over. It is the richest "two-mile" handicap in the world, and one of the richest turf races...
, Nelson described the unusual hat he had worn to the event, which was fashioned in the form of a miniature chicken-processing factory, and which automatically dispensed tiny chickens for "the kiddies". The duo have also long been advocates of the concept of employing "celebrity shooters" at racing fixtures—i.e. hiring well-known personalities to 'put down' horses that are badly injured during races and in 2008 they energetically promoted the concept of a national pig-shoot for peace.
TV programming is another favourite target for duo's satire. Responding to the growth in realty TV progamming, Roy suggested several innovative new programmes including "Celebrities With Gastric" and "Celebrity Horses With Gastric".
Cricket legend Sir Donald Bradman has long been a target of the duo's satire, and it is now well established—at least according to Roy & HG—that Bradman was a spy for the Japanese during World War II
World War II
World War II, or the Second World War , was a global conflict lasting from 1939 to 1945, involving most of the world's nations—including all of the great powers—eventually forming two opposing military alliances: the Allies and the Axis...
. They have also deduced that, in his twilight years, "The Don" was locked in a shed at the back of his house in Bowral, NSW and forced to sign millions of items of all descriptions in order to capitalise on the inevitably lucrative market in Bradman memorabilia that would emerge after his death.
This Sporting Life Terminology
| This Sporting Life Terminology | ||
|---|---|---|
| Player name | | Term | | Reason |
| Braith Anasta Braith Anasta Braith Anasta is a Greek-Australian professional rugby league footballer who captains the Sydney Roosters of the National Rugby League... |
The most overrated man in Rugby League | Came about as a result of repeated Rugby League Rugby league Rugby league football, usually called rugby league, is a full contact sport played by two teams of thirteen players on a rectangular grass field. One of the two codes of rugby football, it originated in England in 1895 by a split from Rugby Football Union over paying players... player polls in which Anasta was often nominated as the most overrated player by his peers. |
| Martin Bella Martin Bella Martin Bella is an Australian former rugby league footballer of the 1980s and 90s. A prop forward, he achieved national and state representation and played club football for various teams in Queensland, New South Wales and England. He is of Italian descent.... |
Squirrel Gripper | Came about as a result of Bella's penchant for employing the "squirrel grip" or "Christmas handshake" which involves firmly gripping an opponent's testicles during a tackle performed in the sport of Rugby League Rugby league Rugby league football, usually called rugby league, is a full contact sport played by two teams of thirteen players on a rectangular grass field. One of the two codes of rugby football, it originated in England in 1895 by a split from Rugby Football Union over paying players... . |
| The Bellaphant | ||
| Danny Buderus Danny Buderus Danny Buderus is an Australian professional rugby league player who currently plays for the Newcastle Knights in the NRL... |
Butterball Buderus | Because of his poor ball handling in a State of Origin match. |
| Dean Brogan Dean Brogan Dean Scott Brogan is a ruckman in the Australian Football League . He was also a former basketballer with the Adelaide 36ers.-Adelaide 36ers career :... |
Dick Head | Brogan took exception to being called Dick Head at Adelaide Airport by a heckler and punched the offender in the nose, he was subsequently fined by the AFL and Port Adelaide Port Adelaide Football Club The Port Adelaide Football Club is an Australian rules football club based in Alberton, South Australia, which plays in the Australian Football League and the South Australian National Football League... . |
| Ben Cousins Ben Cousins Benjamin Luke "Ben" Cousins is a former Australian rules footballer, best known for his 270-game career with and in the Australian Football League .... |
Rolled Note | Derived from Cousins's after-hours work with the white powder. |
| Ben Off The Gear Cousins | Developed after Cousins declared himself clean and ready to resume his football career. | |
| Greg Dowling Greg Dowling Gregory Dowling is an Australian former rugby league footballer of the 1980s and 90s. He represented both Australia and Queensland.... |
Dish-head Dowling | |
| Ben Elias | Backdoor Benny | Often shortened to simply The Door or B.D.B. Elias. |
| Israel Folau Israel Folau Israel Folau is a professional Australian rules footballer currently listed with the Greater Western Sydney Football Club in the Australian Football League . He previously played Rugby league for the Melbourne Storm in the National Rugby League from 2007 to 2008 where he broke the record for most... |
The Queensland wunderkind | Refers to a newspaper report; often said sotto voce Sotto voce Sotto voce means intentionally lowering one's voice for emphasis. The speaker gives the impression of uttering involuntarily a truth which may surprise, shock, or offend... to show Slaven's displeasure with the use of a German word. |
| Mark Gasnier Mark Gasnier Mark Gasnier is an Australian former rugby league player, a state and national representative centre three-quarter. He played eleven top-grade seasons with the St. George Illawarra Dragons in the NRL, interrupted by two seasons of rugby union played with the French club Stade Français. He was a... |
Fire Up Bitch! aka "The Fire Up Bitch Man" | Gasnier was fired from the 2004 New South Wales State of Origin team for leaving an obscene voice mail message on a woman's mobile phone Mobile phone A mobile phone is a device which can make and receive telephone calls over a radio link whilst moving around a wide geographic area. It does so by connecting to a cellular network provided by a mobile network operator... after a 'bonding session'http://www.abc.net.au/sport/content/s1112566.htm. The transcript of the phone message is as follows: "Where the fuck are you? There's four toey humans in the cab and our cocks Penis The penis is a biological feature of male animals including both vertebrates and invertebrates... are fat and ready to spurt sauce. It's 20 to four...and you're in bed, fuck me. Fire up, you sad cunt."http://www.spinstartshere.com/?q=taxonomy/term/41&from=15 Roy and HG also shorten this nickname to variations such as "the F.U.B.", "fubby" and "the fubster". |
| The Shimmy, Shimmy, Whoosh! Man. | From an NRL Pog POG POG may mean:*POG, a drink *Pogs, a 1990s fad game, as well as the game pieces used in that game*One of the two title characters in Pib and Pog, an animated short film made by Aardman Animations... describing Gasnier's step maneuver as the Shimmy, Shimmy, Whoosh. |
|
| Dare I say | A reference to the frequent use of "Dare I say" as a preface to comments in Marks regular newspaper column which appears in the Daily Telegraph. | |
| Mark Geyer Mark Geyer Mark Geyer , is an Australian former professional rugby league footballer of the 1980s and '90s. An Australian international and New South Wales State of Origin representative second-rower, he is currently a rugby league media identity... |
The Tap | He can run hot and cold, or "turn it on" i.e. on-field violence. By extension, Geyer's younger brother Matt Matt Geyer Matt Geyer is an Australian rugby league footballer for the Norths Devils in the Queensland Cup. A New South Wales State of Origin representative winger, he played his club football primarily with the Melbourne Storm of the National Rugby League competition, winning premierships with them in 1999... is "Tap II". |
| Barry Hall Barry Hall Barry Hall is a former Australian rules footballer. Hall is considered to be one of the best forwards of the modern era, being named All-Australian, leading his club's goalkicking on nine occasions and captaining the Sydney Swans to their 2005 AFL Grand Final victory... |
Hitman | 'Hitman' came about due to Roy & HG looking for a nickname for Hall to make his boxing debut under. |
| Barry Deck The Hall | Another nickname that was developed for Hall's boxing career. | |
| Solomon Haumono Solomon Haumono Solomon Haumono is a professional boxer and former rugby league player of Tongan descent. He attended Christian Brothers' High School, Lewisham and represented them in the New South Wales Combined Catholic Colleges Australian Schoolboys team 1993.-League career:In rugby league, his preferred... |
Captain Feathers | Constructed due to the lack of a fighting name for Haumono when he began his boxing career following his rugby league career. |
| Jarryd Hayne Jarryd Hayne Jarryd Lee Hayne is an Australian professional rugby league footballer for the Parramatta Eels of the NRL. A New South Wales State of Origin and Australian, Fiji international representative winger and fullback, he has played his entire NRL career to date with Parramatta, with whom he got to the... |
Hip-Head | As a result of Hayne being knocked out momentarily after attempting to make a tackle in State of Origin Rugby League State of Origin State of Origin is an annual best of three series of rugby league football matches contested by the Maroons and the Blues, who represent the Australian states of Queensland and New South Wales respectively... 3, 2008 in which his head cannoned into his opponent's hip. |
| Mark Hensby Mark Hensby Mark Adam Hensby is an Australian professional golfer.Hensby was born in Melbourne, Victoria. He grew up in Tamworth, New South Wales and attended Tamworth High School, leaving at the age of 16 to work as a postie while spending most of his time on the golf course... |
The forgotten man of Australian golf Golf in Australia Golf in Australia refers to the sport of golf played in Australia.-Tournaments:The PGA Tour of Australasia is the main men's tour in Australia. it was founded in 1973 as the PGA Tour of Australia, and changed to its current name in 1991. The tour is one of the five charter members of the... |
A reference to Hensby's laments in national newspapers that he was the "forgotten man" of golf. |
| Lleyton Hewitt Lleyton Hewitt Lleyton Glynn Hewitt born 24 February 1981) is an Australian professional tennis player and former world no. 1.In 2000, Hewitt had won ATP titles on all three major surfaces and reached one final on carpet. By 2001, he became the youngest male ever to be ranked no. 1 at the age of 20... |
Little | Due to Hewitt's diminutive size. |
| Terry Hill Terry Hill Terry Hill is an Australian former professional rugby league footballer of the 1990s and 2000s. He played in the National Rugby League competition primarily in the centres... |
King of the Kids or The Lobster Fisherman Lobster fishing Lobster fishing, sometimes called lobstering, is the commercial or recreational harvesting of marine lobsters, spiny lobsters or crayfish.-Lobster tools and technology:... |
The latter title derived from an incident after his playing days, when Hill was caught stealing lobsters from pots that didn't belong to him, resulting in Hill facing the magistrates' court Magistrates' Court A magistrates' court or court of petty sessions, formerly known as a police court, is the lowest level of court in England and Wales and many other common law jurisdictions... , where he his defence was that he "didn't know what he was doing". |
| John Hopoate John Hopoate John Hopoate is a former professional rugby league footballer and boxer. He played club football for the Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles, Wests Tigers and Northern Eagles in the National Rugby League competition. Hopoate also gained selection for Tonga, in the Australian national team and in the New... |
Stinkfist, The Proctologist | A reference to an infamous incident during a 2001 NRL game when, in an attempt to unsettle the opposing team, Hopoate forcibly pushed his finger into the anuses of three opposing players. This led to speculation by Roy & HG that Hopoate may have in fact been acting as an unofficial proctologist and that he was doing the players a favour because his impromptu rectal examination may have detected early signs of serious illness. |
| Alan Jones Alan Jones (radio broadcaster) Alan Belford Jones AO is an Australian radio broadcaster, former rugby union and rugby league coach and administrator.Jones hosts Sydney's most popular breakfast radio program, on radio station 2GB... |
The Parrot Parrot Parrots, also known as psittacines , are birds of the roughly 372 species in 86 genera that make up the order Psittaciformes, found in most tropical and subtropical regions. The order is subdivided into three families: the Psittacidae , the Cacatuidae and the Strigopidae... |
|
| Senator Rod Kemp Rod Kemp Charles Roderick "Rod" Kemp is an Australian politician. He was a Liberal member of the Australian Senate from 1990 to 2008, representing the state of Victoria.... |
The "Eh-Eh" Man | Kemp is the former federal Minister for Arts and Sport (2001–2007) whose nickname parodies his halting manner of speech. In the final years of the series Kemp was often held up as a supposed model of excellence in his portfolio, usually by way of an unfavourable comparison with the current incumbent (e.g. "This wouldn't have happened if The Eh-Eh Man was still in charge, Roy!"). On one occasion Roy summed up Kemp's distinctive facial hair (a beard without a moustache) by saying "He's got that type of beard that says 'I'm a failed psychologist' ". |
| Glenn Lazarus Glenn Lazarus Glenn Patrick Lazarus is an Australian former rugby league footballer of the 1980s and 90s who has been named amongst the nation's finest of the 20th century. He primarily played at prop forward, representing Australia internationally and New South Wales in State of Origin... |
The Brick With Eyes | The nickname is because of Glenn's large, solid physique. Roy and HG have also called him "Dr Death". The United Kingdom United Kingdom The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern IrelandIn the United Kingdom and Dependencies, other languages have been officially recognised as legitimate autochthonous languages under the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages... 's The Sun The Sun (newspaper) The Sun is a daily national tabloid newspaper published in the United Kingdom and owned by News Corporation. Sister editions are published in Glasgow and Dublin... newspaper Newspaper A newspaper is a scheduled publication containing news of current events, informative articles, diverse features and advertising. It usually is printed on relatively inexpensive, low-grade paper such as newsprint. By 2007, there were 6580 daily newspapers in the world selling 395 million copies a... once got this name wrong and called him "The Brick with Ears". |
| Dr Death | ||
| Wally Lewis Wally Lewis Walter James "Wally" Lewis AM is an Australian former professional rugby league footballer and coach. Currently a commentator of the sport, he is widely regarded as the greatest rugby league player of all time... and Allan Langer Allan Langer Allan "Alfie" Langer AM is an Australian former multi-award-winning rugby league footballer of the 1980s, 90s and 2000s who works as an assistant coach for the Australian national team and Brisbane Broncos... |
The King and I The King and I The King and I is a stage musical, the fifth by the team of Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II. The work is based on the 1944 novel Anna and the King of Siam by Margaret Landon and derives from the memoirs of Anna Leonowens, who became governess to the children of King Mongkut of Siam in... |
A reference to the Rodgers and Hammerstein Rodgers and Hammerstein Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II were a well-known American songwriting duo, usually referred to as Rodgers and Hammerstein. They created a string of popular Broadway musicals in the 1940s and 1950s during what is considered the golden age of the medium... musical. Wally Lewis's nickname is 'King Wally', making his team-mate Allan Langer the 'I'. Langer was usually referred to as "Deborah Kerr", the actress who played the "I" in the movie version with Yul Brynner. |
| Greg Norman Greg Norman Gregory John Norman AO is an Australian professional golfer and entrepreneur who spent 331 weeks as the world's Number 1 ranked golfer in the 1980s and 1990s... |
The Paleface Adios Paleface Adios Paleface Adios was an Australian harness racing horse which competed as a pacer throughout the 1970s and early 1980s. He raced from 1972 to 1981, when there was top competition from the likes of the Hondo Grattan, Robalan and Pure Steel.He was a chestnut Standardbred pacer with a white blaze and... of Golf |
A reference to Norman's drawn-out career. |
| G.W. Shark | ||
| Willie Mason Willie Mason William Marshall "Willie" Mason is an Australian professional rugby union footballer for Toulon in the Top 14 competition, having previously being a rugby league footballer for Hull KR in the European Super League.Mason signed a 3-year contract with Hull KR in September 2010, pending a successful... |
The Brainstrust | A satirical reference to the fact that Mason's well-known propensity for aggressive behaviour was explained by the fact that he reportedly suffers from an autism spectrum disorder. |
| The New Face of the Eastern Suburbs | ||
| Les Mason | Mad-Dog | Introduced due to the lack of a nickname for Mason, as compared to Captain Feathers and Stinkfist. |
| Steve Menzies | Beaver Beaver The beaver is a primarily nocturnal, large, semi-aquatic rodent. Castor includes two extant species, North American Beaver and Eurasian Beaver . Beavers are known for building dams, canals, and lodges . They are the second-largest rodent in the world... |
Other Roy and HG name variations include "Beav", "The Flying Beaver" and "Leave it to Beaver" along with "Beaver Las Vegas". |
| Methuselah Methuselah Methuselah is the oldest person whose age is mentioned in the Hebrew Bible. Extra-biblical tradition maintains that he died on the 11th of Cheshvan of the year 1656 , at the age of 969, seven days before the beginning of the Great Flood... |
A poke at Menzies' relatively old playing age in the twilight of his career. | |
| Steve Mortimer Steve Mortimer Steve Mortimer OAM, , nicknamed Turvey after Turvey Park in Wagga Wagga, New South Wales, where he hailed from, is an Australian former rugby league halfback. Mortimer played a Canterbury-Bankstown club record 272 first grade games between 1976–88. Mortimer's two younger brothers Peter and Chris... |
Prince of Darkness Prince of Darkness Prince of Darkness is a box set of four CDs by Ozzy Osbourne released in 2005. The first two CDs are Osbourne's solo work containing various studio recordings, live tracks, b-sides, demos and outtakes, and the last two CDs are duets on disc three and cover songs on disc four... |
|
| Mark Philippoussis Mark Philippoussis Mark Anthony Philippoussis is an Australian tennis player. He turned professional in 1994. His father is Greek, while his mother is of Italian ancestry.... |
The dangerous floater | A double reference, both to the media constantly promoting Philippoussis as a hidden threat in tennis tournaments, and also a play on Philippoussis's nickname 'The Poo'. Usually invoked with reference to the U.S. Open at Flushing Meadow. |
| Julian O'Neill Julian O'Neill O'Neill then played at fullback in all three games of the 1994 State of Origin series under coach Wally Lewis. During the 1994 NSWRL season, O'Neill played at lock forward for defending premiers Brisbane when they hosted British champions Wigan for the 1994 World Club Challenge. In 1994 and 1995... |
The Poo in the Shoe | O'Neill, who has a history of off-field misconduct, including two DUI DUI DUI is a three letter acronym that may stand for:* Driving under the influence * Democratic Union for Integration — the largest ethnic Albanian party in the Republic of Macedonia* Data Use Identifier... charges and urinating Urination Urination, also known as micturition, voiding, peeing, weeing, pissing, and more rarely, emiction, is the ejection of urine from the urinary bladder through the urethra to the outside of the body. In healthy humans the process of urination is under voluntary control... under casino Casino In modern English, a casino is a facility which houses and accommodates certain types of gambling activities. Casinos are most commonly built near or combined with hotels, restaurants, retail shopping, cruise ships or other tourist attractions... blackjack Blackjack Blackjack, also known as Twenty-one or Vingt-et-un , is the most widely played casino banking game in the world... tables on two separate occasions, was involved in a 1999 pre-season incident which led to his South Sydney Rabbitohs South Sydney Rabbitohs The South Sydney Rabbitohs are an Australian professional rugby league football team based in Redfern, a suburb of South-central Sydney, New South Wales. They participate in the National Rugby League premiership and are one of nine existing teams from the state capital... being banned from a Dubbo hotel. Following years of personal and professional turmoil, O'Neill trashed the Dubbo hotel room by smearing the walls with faeces. A direct quote from the horse's mouth describing a further bad deed from the night was "hey Schlossie, I just shat in your shoe". http://www.spinstartshere.com/?q=taxonomy/term/41&from=15 |
| Wendell Sailor Wendell Sailor Wendell Jermaine Sailor is an Australian former professional rugby football player who represented his country in both rugby league and rugby union – a dual code international. He is an Australian Torres Strait Islander.Sailor's large frame and bullocking style changed the way wingers played rugby... |
Ding Dong Dell | |
| Hello Sailor Hello, Sailor "Hello, sailor" is a sexual proposition made to a sailor, presumably by a prostitute or promiscuous woman supposing the sailor to be male and sexually frustrated after a long time at sea... |
||
| Casey Stoner Casey Stoner Casey Stoner is an Australian professional motorcycle racer. Born in Kurri Kurri, New South Wales, Australia and raised in Southport, Queensland, Stoner raced from a young age and moved to the United Kingdom to pursue a racing career... |
The Real Deal | From an article in a local paper, in reference to his dominance in MotoGP, "The Real Deal" was used to describe Stoner as a genuine competitor for the Moto GP title. |
| Ricky Stuart Ricky Stuart Ricky Stuart is an Australian rugby league football coach and former player of the 1980s and 90s. He is currently the head coach of the New South Wales State of Origin team, having replaced Craig Bellamy following a fifth consecutive failure in the 2010 series... |
The Angry Ant | |
| Carlos Smearson | From 2009 when the Sharks played a home game in Adelaide their media manager organised a radio interview for Ricky Stuart on FIVEaa &, for a joke, told the station that his name was Carlos Smearson. That lead to an introduction along the lines of, "and now joining us it's the coach of the Cronulla Sharks NRL team, Carlos Smearson. Welcome to the show Carlos...." | |
| The Game's Greatest Thinker | ||
| Timana Tahu Timana Tahu Timana James Aporo Tahu is an Australian professional rugby league footballer and former rugby union player, a dual-code international, currently playing for the Newcastle Knights in the National Rugby League. He formerly played for the New South Wales Waratahs in the Super 14 competition... |
Tim Tam Tim Tam Tim Tam is a brand of chocolate biscuit currently manufactured by Arnott's in Australia. A Tim Tam is composed of two layers of chocolate malted biscuit, separated by a light chocolate cream filling, and coated in a thin layer of textured chocolate.... Tahu |
Named after the Australian chocolate Chocolate Chocolate is a raw or processed food produced from the seed of the tropical Theobroma cacao tree. Cacao has been cultivated for at least three millennia in Mexico, Central and South America. Its earliest documented use is around 1100 BC... biscuit Biscuit A biscuit is a baked, edible, and commonly flour-based product. The term is used to apply to two distinctly different products in North America and the Commonwealth Nations.... brand, Tim Tams. |
| Kostya Tszyu | The Russia Russia Russia or , officially known as both Russia and the Russian Federation , is a country in northern Eurasia. It is a federal semi-presidential republic, comprising 83 federal subjects... n-born, Sydney Sydney Sydney is the most populous city in Australia and the state capital of New South Wales. Sydney is located on Australia's south-east coast of the Tasman Sea. As of June 2010, the greater metropolitan area had an approximate population of 4.6 million people... -based powerhouse |
A direct quote from a newspaper article. |
| Mark Webber Mark Webber Mark Alan Webber is an Australian Formula One driver.After some racing success in Australia, Webber moved to the United Kingdom in 1995 to further his motorsport career... |
"The DNF Man", "DNF Specialist" | An acronym derived from the fact that Formula 1 driver Webber has earned numerous "DNF" (did not finish) race results due to collisions or mechanical breakdowns. |
| Shane Webcke Shane Webcke Shane Webcke is an Australian former professional rugby league footballer, who spent his entire top-grade career playing for the Brisbane Broncos. His position of choice was at prop forward and at his peak he was renowned as the best front rower in the world... |
BigPond BigPond BigPond is an Australian Internet service provider and is a product of Telstra. BigPond is Australia's largest ISP and based in Melbourne.- Internet :... |
Taken from Webcke (Web-key) to Website and Australia's largest internet service provider Telstra Big Pond. |
| Karrie Webb Karrie Webb Karrie Ann Webb AM is Australia's most successful female professional golfer, and one of the top players in the history of global women's golf. She currently plays mainly on the U.S.-based LPGA Tour and also turns out once or twice a year on the ALPG Tour in her home country. She is a member of... |
The Funnel | A reference to the Sydney Funnel Web Spider Australasian funnel-web spider Australian funnel-web spiders are venomous spiders of the family Hexathelidae, represented by 31 described species of Hadronyche, four Bymainiella spp., two Teranodes and monotyptic genera Plesiothera fentoni and Ilawarra whisharti... . |
| Tiger Woods Tiger Woods Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time. Formerly the World No... |
The man they call Tiger | A reference to sports reporter Tim Webster, who has a habit of constantly introducing sporting celebrities using the term "the man they call (first name)". |
| Kevan Gosper Kevan Gosper Kevan Gosper is a former Australian athlete who mainly competed in the 400 metres. He was formerly a Vice President of the International Olympic Committee.-1956 Summer Olympics:... |
Lord Gosper | A reference to Gosper's overly officious and self-righteous nature when it comes to matters concerning sport, particularly the Olympics . |
Roy Slaven
Another perennial aspect of their comedy is the overweening egotism and impossible achievements of "Rampaging" Roy Slaven, a character who was probably inspired by sports broadcaster and former rugby league player Rex MossopRex Mossop
Rex Peers Mossop was an Australian rugby league and rugby union footballer—a dual-code international, and an Australian television personality from 1964 until 1991.-Rugby union career:...
, who was famous for his outspoken opinions and hilarious tautologies
Tautology (logic)
In logic, a tautology is a formula which is true in every possible interpretation. Philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein first applied the term to redundancies of propositional logic in 1921; it had been used earlier to refer to rhetorical tautologies, and continues to be used in that alternate sense...
.
Roy will often begin his commentaries sotto voce as a mocking parody of Sydney radio announcer Alan Jones
Alan Jones (radio broadcaster)
Alan Belford Jones AO is an Australian radio broadcaster, former rugby union and rugby league coach and administrator.Jones hosts Sydney's most popular breakfast radio program, on radio station 2GB...
, but often finishes screaming at the top of his lungs. By his own account, Slaven has represented Australia in every known sport for most of the 20th century, has ridden in every Melbourne Cup (and won most of them) on his ageless mount Rooting King, is on intimate terms with every major sports, TV, music and film personality in modern history, as well as being a close personal friend of many top racehorses and greyhound
Greyhound
The Greyhound is a breed of sighthound that has been primarily bred for coursing game and racing, and the breed has also recently seen a resurgence in its popularity as a pedigree show dog and family pet. It is a gentle and intelligent breed...
s.
Roy's tales of sporting achievement are mixed with reminiscences of his youth in Lithgow
Lithgow, New South Wales
Lithgow is a city in the Central Tablelands of New South Wales, Australia and is the centre of the local political division City of Lithgow. It is located in a mountain valley named Lithgow's Valley by John Oxley in honour of William Lithgow, the first Auditor-General of New South Wales.Lithgow is...
, his membership of the rambunctious Lithgow Shamrocks rugby league
Rugby league
Rugby league football, usually called rugby league, is a full contact sport played by two teams of thirteen players on a rectangular grass field. One of the two codes of rugby football, it originated in England in 1895 by a split from Rugby Football Union over paying players...
team, and his formative relationship with mentor and coach 'Grassy' Grannell. Doyle gives a strong scatological edge to the Slaven character and Roy's commentaries and recollections often include hilarious anecdotes about celebrities or teammates who were stricken by attacks of vomiting and diarrhoea—invariably referred to by the quaint Australian term "gastric".
Other memorable Slaven recollections have included the assistance he gave to music star Cher during her bout with chronic fatigue syndrome
Chronic fatigue syndrome
Chronic fatigue syndrome is the most common name used to designate a significantly debilitating medical disorder or group of disorders generally defined by persistent fatigue accompanied by other specific symptoms for a minimum of six months, not due to ongoing exertion, not substantially...
-- which included a daily regimen in which Slaven tied Cher to the back of a car and dragged her behind it for several kilometres—and his revelation that American film actress Kim Basinger
Kim Basinger
Kimila Ann "Kim" Basinger is an American actress and former fashion model.She is known for her portrayals of Domino Petachi, the Bond girl in Never Say Never Again , and Vicki Vale, the female lead in Batman . Basinger received a Golden Globe Award for Best Supporting Actress – Motion Picture...
planned to buy her home town, rename it "Basingerville" and rebuild it as a showpiece of modern sanitary technology where, thanks to a transparent sewerage system, residents could follow their effluent all the way from toilet to outfall.
State of Origin commentaries
Besides This Sporting Life, Roy and HG also provide radio commentary for Australian rugby league's three annual State of OriginRugby League State of Origin
State of Origin is an annual best of three series of rugby league football matches contested by the Maroons and the Blues, who represent the Australian states of Queensland and New South Wales respectively...
matches, as well as the rugby league and AFL
Australian Football League
The Australian Football League is both the governing body and the major professional competition in the sport of Australian rules football...
grand finals (dubbed the "Festival of the Boot", parts one and two).
At the opening of each State of Origin match (and the Grand Finals) Roy and HG traditionally drown out the obligatory rendition of the Australian national anthem—typically performed at the actual event by a minor Australian music celebrity—by playing the lugubrious country-and-western song "I Thank You", recorded in 1969 by former boxing champion Lionel Rose
Lionel Rose
Lionel Edmund Rose MBE was an Australian bantamweight boxer, the first Indigenous Australian to win a world title.-Early life:...
.
The choice of this song seems to have been inspired by several interconnected satirical motives—the appalling standard of Rose's vocal performance, the cliched sentimentality of the lyrics ("When a boy becomes a man, he must do the best he can"), the inherent violence associated with the former boxer, Rose, and the ironic satire implicit in the phenomenon of a former sports champion (with a very poor singing voice) attempting to establish a career in popular music by recording a prosaic genre love song written by a faded 1960s pop star (Johnny Young
Johnny Young
Johnny Young is an Australian singer, composer, record producer, disc jockey, television producer and host. Originally from Netherlands, his family settled in Perth, Western Australia in the early 1950s...
).
The duo, particularly Slaven's, commentary often features sensationalist over-reactions to the game at hand, such as calling for entire teams of players to be sacked after losses, or even questioning whether certain teams will ever win another match in the future. The commentary is also notable for its overly biased support of whichever team is winning, and the calling of every player on the field by their Roy & HG-assigned nicknames.
On many occasions, the opening minutes of their 'call' have featured Roy's scathing comments on the various celebrities he has encountered at the match, and his vociferous denunciation of the often hilariously bad pre-match and half-time "entertainment", which regularly feature massed displays by large groups of "kiddies" with "ballooowens" (balloons) and stilted performances by imported has-been stars like Billy Idol
Billy Idol
William Michael Albert Broad , better known by his stage name Billy Idol, is an English rock musician. A member of the Bromley Contingent of Sex Pistols fans, Idol first achieved fame in the punk rock era as a member of the band Generation X...
and Tina Turner
Tina Turner
Tina Turner is an American singer and actress whose career has spanned more than 50 years. She has won numerous awards and her achievements in the rock music genre have led many to call her the "Queen of Rock 'n' Roll".Turner started out her music career with husband Ike Turner as a member of the...
, whose only real connection to The Game is the hefty paycheque they receive from the NSWRL for their brief appearances.
Television
As well as performing 'This Sporting Life' on radio, Doyle and Pickhaver successfully transferred the concept and characters to television. Over the last ten years they have hosted a range of TV incarnations of the TSL formatRoy and HG
Roy & HG is an Australian comedy duo, comprising Greig Pickhaver in the role of "H [Harry] G Nelson" and John Doyle as "'Rampaging' Roy Slaven". Their act is an affectionate but irreverent parody of Australia's obsession with sport. Their characters based on archetypes in sports journalism: Nelson...
. The huge popularity of one of these, The Dream with Roy and HG
The Dream with Roy and HG
The Dream with Roy and HG was a sports/comedy talk show, broadcast every night during the Sydney 2000, Salt Lake 2002 and Athens 2004 Olympics, presented by Australian comedy duo Roy and HG....
, took Roy & HG's unique comedy style to thousands of Australians who had never listened to the radio show or watched the ABC series.
Published recordings
- 1993: Tool talk and wise cracks with Roy and HG, a collection of highlights taken from the programme
- 1993: Pound for Pound
- 1993: The Lifetime of Rampaging Roy Slaven
- 1995: Roy & HG present Allan BorderAllan BorderAllan Robert Border AO is a former Australian cricketer. A batsman, Border was for many years the captain of the Australian team. His playing nickname was "A.B.". He played 156 Test matches in his career, a record until it was passed by fellow Australian Steve Waugh...
: cricket's first saint
Recognition at Australian Comedy Awards
In November 2003, This Sporting Life was named Outstanding Networked Radio Comedy Performance at the inaugural Australian Comedy Awards in Melbourne.Move to Triple M
On 3 December 2008 Triple J announced that Roy and HG would be leaving the ABC after 22 years on air. In a press statement, Triple J manager Linda Bracken said:- "They are more than a radio programme, they have become their own radio comedy genre. It's been a joy and a privilege to work with them."
Although HG Nelson had announced at the end of the previous week's show that they would return on Sunday 7 December for the last programme of the year, it did not go ahead as scheduled and was replaced by a music shift.
Roy and HG began broadcasting on Triple M on January 12, 2008, with a show called The Life to be presented during drive time at 4pm to 7pm every Monday and Friday on all Triple M stations, excluding Adelaide
Adelaide
Adelaide is the capital city of South Australia and the fifth-largest city in Australia. Adelaide has an estimated population of more than 1.2 million...
. Like This Sporting Life, it is a sport/comedy show, and also uses some phases from TSL.