Courtship in the Philippines
Encyclopedia
Traditional courtship in the Philippines is described as a "far more subdued and indirect" approach compared to Western
or Westernized
cultures. It involves "phases" or "stages" inherent to Philippine society and culture. Evident in courtship
in the Philippines
is the practice of singing romantic love songs, reciting poems, writing letters, and gift-giving. This respect extends to the Filipino woman’s family members. The proper rules and standards in traditional Filipino courtship are set by Philippine society.
man fears rejection by a woman and would like to avoid losing face and embarrassment. This teasing phase actually helps in circumventing such an embarrassing predicament because formal courtship has not yet officially started. Furthermore, this "testing phase" also helps a man who could be "torpe", a Filipino term
for a suitor who is shy, "stupid", and feels cowardly, and is innocent and naïve in how to court a woman. However, this type of admirer could overcome his shyness and naivety by asking for the help of a "human bridge", typically a mutual friend of both the suitor and the admired, or a close friend of both families. The "human bridge" acts as the suitor's communicator. Through this "human-bridge", the bachelor can also ask permission to visit the woman at home from the bachelorette's father. As a norm, the couple will not be left alone with each other during this first home visit, because formal introductions to family members are done, which may be performed by the "human bridge". Informal conversation also takes place.
During this preliminary evaluation period, the Filipino woman will either deny her feelings (or the absence of feelings for the suitor) and avoids her admirer, or does not become angry because of the teasing and encourages the suitor instead. The suitor stops the courtship if he is quite sure that the woman does not reciprocate. But once the female encourages the suitor to continue, the "teasing stage" comes to a close and a "serious stage" of Philippine courtship begins. It is within this stage where the couple engages in a series of group dates, chaperoned dates, or private dates. The couple later on decides to come out into the open and reveals the status of their relationship to family members, relatives, and friends. The serious suitor or boyfriend
visits the family of the woman he admires/courts or girlfriend
in order to formally introduce himself, particularly to the lady's parents. Bringing gifts or pasalubong
(which may include flowers, with cards, or letters, and the like) is also typical. Courting a woman in the Philippines is described as a courtship that also includes courting the woman's family. The actual boyfriend-girlfriend relationship may also result from such formal visits. In the past, particularly in a rural courtship setting, a Filipino man, accompanied by friends, would engage in serenading the woman he adores at night. This serenading practice was an influence adopted by the Filipinos from the Spaniards
.
During the courtship process, a traditional Filipina is expected to play "hard to get", to act as if not interested, to be not flirty
, and show utmost restraint, modesty, shyness, good upbringing, be well-mannered, demure, and reserved despite having great feelings for her admirer; a behavior culturally considered appropriate while being courted. This behavior serves as a tool in measuring the admirer's sincerity and seriousness. In addition to the woman's culturally appropriate behavior, she is not supposed to have dates with several admirers simultaneously. Dating couples are expected to be conservative and not perform public displays of affection for each other. Traditionally, some courtship may last a number of years before the Filipino woman accepts her suitor as a boyfriend. Conservativeness, together with repressing emotions and affection, was inherited by the Filipino woman from the colonial period under the Spaniards, a characteristic referred to as the Maria Clara attitude.
After the girlfriend-boyfriend stage, engagement, and marriage follows. With regards to the engagement and pre-marriage stages, Filipino tradition dictates that the man and his parents perform the pamamanhikan or pamanhikan (literally, a Tagalog word
that means "to go up the stairs of the house" of the girlfriend and her parents; pamamanhikan is known as tampa or danon to the Ilocanos, as pasaguli to the Palaweños, and as kapamalai to the Maranao
s). This is where and when the man and his parent's formally ask the lady's hand and blessings from her parents in order to marry
. This is when the formal introduction of the man's parents and woman's parents happens. Apart from presents, the Cebuano version of the pamamanhikan includes bringing in musicians. After setting the date of the wedding and the dowry, the couple is considered officially engaged. The dowry, as a norm in the Philippines, is provided by the groom’s family. For the Filipino people, marriage is a union of two families, not just of two persons. Therefore, marrying well "enhances the good name" of both families.
Apart from the general background explained above, there are other similar and unique courting practices adhered to by Filipinos in other different regions of the Philippine archipelago. In the island of Luzon
, the Ilocano
s also perform serenading, known to them as tapat (literally, "to be in front of" the home of the courted woman), which is similar to the harana and also to the balagtasan of the Tagalogs. The suitor begins singing a romantic song, then the courted lady responds by singing too.
Rooster courtship is also another form of courting in Luzon. In this type of courtship, the rooster is assigned that task of being a "middleman
", a "negotiator", or a "go-between", wherein the male chicken is left to stay in the home of the courted to crow every single morning for the admired lady's family.
In the province of Bulacan
in Central Luzon
, the Bulaqueños have a kind of courtship known as the naninilong (from the Tagalog word silong or "basement"). At midnight, the suitor goes beneath the nipa hut
, a house that is elevated by bamboo
poles, then prickles
the admired woman by using a pointed object. Once the prickling caught the attention of the sleeping lady, the couple would be conversing in whispers.
The Ifugao of northern Luzon practices a courtship called ca-i-sing (this practice is known as the ebgan to the Kalinga
tribes and as pangis to the Tingguian tribes), wherein males and females are separated into "houses". The house for the Filipino males is called the Ato, while the house for Filipino females is known as the olog or agamang. The males visit the females in the olog the "bethrotal house" to sing romantic songs. The females reply to these songs also through singing. The ongoing courtship ritual is overseen by a married elder or a childess widow who keeps the parents of the participating males and females well informed of the progress of the courtship process.
After the courtship process, the Batangueños of Batangas
has a peculiar tradition performed on the eve of the wedding. A procession, composed of the groom’s mother, father, relatives, godfathers
, godmothers
, bridesmaids, and groomsmen, occurs. Their purpose is to bring the cooking ingredients for the celebration to the bride’s home, where refreshments await them.
, the Pangasinense
s utilizes the taga-amo, which literally means "tamer", a form of love potions or charms which can be rubbed to the skin of the admired. It can also be in the form of drinkable potions. The suitor may also resort to the use of palabas, meaning show
or drama
, wherein the Filipino woman succumbs to revealing her love to her suitor, who at one time will pretend or act as if he will be committing suicide
if the lady does not divulge her true feelings.
s allows the practice of sleeping together during the night. This is known as liberal courtship or mahal-alay in the vernacular. This form of courting assists in assessing the woman’s feeling for her lover.
, the Palaweños or Palawanons perform courtship through the use of love riddle
s. This is known as the pasaguli. The purpose of the love riddles is to assess the sentiments of the parents of both suitor and admirer. After this "riddle courtship", the discussion proceeds to the pabalic (can also be spelled as pabalik), to settle the price or form of the dowry
that will be received by the courted woman from the courting man.
also resort to serenading, which is known locally as balak. They also write love letters that are sent via a trusted friend or a relative of the courted woman. Presents are not only given to the woman being courted, but also to her relatives. Similar to the practice in the Pangasinan region, as mentioned above, the Cebuanos also use love potions to win the affection of the Filipino woman.
People from Leyte
performs the pangagad or paninilbihan or "servitude", instead of paying a form of dowry during the courtship period. In this form of courting, the Filipino suitor accomplishes household and farm chores for the family of the Filipino woman. The service normally lasts for approximately a year before the man and woman can get married. The Tagalogs of Luzon also refers to this courtship custom as paninilbihan meaning "being of service", but is also referred to as subok meaning a trial or test period for the serving suitor. The Bicolanos of Luzon's Bicol
region, call this custom as the pamianan.
Reckless courtship, known in the vernacular as palabas, sarakahan tupul, or magpasumbahi, is practiced by the Tausog people of Mindanao. Similar to the palabas version practiced in Luzon island, a suitor would threaten to stab his heart while in front of the courted woman’s father. If the father of the woman refuses to give her daughter’s hand to the suitor, the suitor is smitten by a knife.
The Bagobos, on the other hand, sends a knife or a spear as a gift to the home of the courted woman for inspection. Accepting the weapon is equivalent to accepting the Filipino man’s romantic intention and advances.
Pre-arranged marriage
s and betrothals are common to Filipino Muslim
s. These formal engagements are arranged by the parents of men and the women. This also involves discussions regarding the price and the form of the dowry. The Tausog people proclaims that a wedding, a celebration or announcement known as the pangalay, will occur by playing percussive musical instruments such as the gabbang, the kulintang
, and the agong. The wedding is officiated by an Imam
. Readings from the Quran is a part of the ceremony, as well as the placement of the groom's fingerprint
over the bride's forehead
.
, there was a set of body language
expressed by courted women to communicate with their suitors. These are non-verbal cues which Ambeth Ocampo
referred to as "fan
language". These are called as such because the woman conveys her messages through silent movements that involve a hand-held fan. Examples of such speechless communication are as follows: a courted woman covering half of her face would like her suitor to follow her; counting the ribs of the folding fan sends out a message that the lady would like to have a conversation with her admirer; holding the fan using the right hand would mean the woman is willing to have a boyfriend, while carrying the fan with the left hand signifies that she already has a lover and thus no longer available; fanning vigorously symbolizes that the lady has deep feelings for a gentleman, while fanning slowly tells that the woman courted does not have any feelings for the suitor; putting the fan aside signals that the lady does not want to be wooed by the man; and the abrupt closing of a fan means the woman dislikes the man.
of modern-day Filipinos, there have been modifications in traditional courtship in the Philippines. However, liberalism in courting practices and standards is still milder or still more conservative than that of Western or Westernized counterparts of the Filipinos. Present-day Filipino courtship, as in the traditional form, also starts with the "teasing stage" conducted by friends. Introductions and meetings of prospective couples can now be done through a common friend or while attending a party. Modern technology has also become a part of present-day courting practices in the Philippines. Romantic conversations are done by the courted and by the Filipino bachelor through the use of cellular phones particularly through texting messages and the internet
. But parents, however, still prefer that their daughters be courted formally and officially inside the confines of the Filipino home, which is a respectful way to honor the father and mother of the Filipino single woman. Although a present-day Filipino woman might be willing to encourage a man to court her, or she might even initiate the courting process, it is still also traditionally and culturally not appropriate for a suitor to introduce himself to an admired woman, or vice versa, while on the street. Servitude and serenading are no longer common, but avoidance of making love by couples prior to their life as married couples is still valued.
Western culture
Western culture, sometimes equated with Western civilization or European civilization, refers to cultures of European origin and is used very broadly to refer to a heritage of social norms, ethical values, traditional customs, religious beliefs, political systems, and specific artifacts and...
or Westernized
Western world
The Western world, also known as the West and the Occident , is a term referring to the countries of Western Europe , the countries of the Americas, as well all countries of Northern and Central Europe, Australia and New Zealand...
cultures. It involves "phases" or "stages" inherent to Philippine society and culture. Evident in courtship
Courtship
Courtship is the period in a couple's relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage, or establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind. In courtship, a couple get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or other such agreement...
in the Philippines
Philippines
The Philippines , officially known as the Republic of the Philippines , is a country in Southeast Asia in the western Pacific Ocean. To its north across the Luzon Strait lies Taiwan. West across the South China Sea sits Vietnam...
is the practice of singing romantic love songs, reciting poems, writing letters, and gift-giving. This respect extends to the Filipino woman’s family members. The proper rules and standards in traditional Filipino courtship are set by Philippine society.
General overview
Often, a Filipino male suitor expresses his interest to a woman in a discreet and friendly manner in order to avoid being perceived as very "presumptuous or aggressive" or arrogant. Culturally, another gentlemanly way of seeking the attention of a woman is not to be done by the admirer by approaching her in the street to casually ask for her address or telephone number. Although having a series of friendly dates is the normal starting point in the Filipino way of courting, this may also begin through the process of "teasing", a process of "pairing off" a potential teenage or adult couple. The teasing is done by peers or friends of the couple being matched. The teasing practice assists in discerning the actual feelings of the male and the female involved. Traditionally, a Filipino woman is "shy and secretive" about her feelings for a suitor. On the other hand, the FilipinoFilipino people
The Filipino people or Filipinos are an Austronesian ethnic group native to the islands of the Philippines. There are about 92 million Filipinos in the Philippines, and about 11 million living outside the Philippines ....
man fears rejection by a woman and would like to avoid losing face and embarrassment. This teasing phase actually helps in circumventing such an embarrassing predicament because formal courtship has not yet officially started. Furthermore, this "testing phase" also helps a man who could be "torpe", a Filipino term
Filipino language
This move has drawn much criticism from other regional groups.In 1987, a new constitution introduced many provisions for the language.Article XIV, Section 6, omits any mention of Tagalog as the basis for Filipino, and states that:...
for a suitor who is shy, "stupid", and feels cowardly, and is innocent and naïve in how to court a woman. However, this type of admirer could overcome his shyness and naivety by asking for the help of a "human bridge", typically a mutual friend of both the suitor and the admired, or a close friend of both families. The "human bridge" acts as the suitor's communicator. Through this "human-bridge", the bachelor can also ask permission to visit the woman at home from the bachelorette's father. As a norm, the couple will not be left alone with each other during this first home visit, because formal introductions to family members are done, which may be performed by the "human bridge". Informal conversation also takes place.
During this preliminary evaluation period, the Filipino woman will either deny her feelings (or the absence of feelings for the suitor) and avoids her admirer, or does not become angry because of the teasing and encourages the suitor instead. The suitor stops the courtship if he is quite sure that the woman does not reciprocate. But once the female encourages the suitor to continue, the "teasing stage" comes to a close and a "serious stage" of Philippine courtship begins. It is within this stage where the couple engages in a series of group dates, chaperoned dates, or private dates. The couple later on decides to come out into the open and reveals the status of their relationship to family members, relatives, and friends. The serious suitor or boyfriend
Boyfriend
A boyfriend is a person's regular male companion in a romantic or sexual relationship, although normally not in long-term committed relationships, where other titles A boyfriend is a person's regular male companion in a romantic or sexual relationship, although normally not in long-term committed...
visits the family of the woman he admires/courts or girlfriend
Girlfriend
Girlfriend is a term that can refer to either a female partner in a non-marital romantic relationship or a female non-romantic friend that is closer than other friends....
in order to formally introduce himself, particularly to the lady's parents. Bringing gifts or pasalubong
Pasalubong
Pasalubong is the Filipino tradition of a homecoming gift. The word is Tagalog, literally meaning "[something] meant for you when you welcome me back." It is one of the most distinctive and widely practiced Filipino traditions. Pasalubong can be any gift or souvenir brought for family, loved ones,...
(which may include flowers, with cards, or letters, and the like) is also typical. Courting a woman in the Philippines is described as a courtship that also includes courting the woman's family. The actual boyfriend-girlfriend relationship may also result from such formal visits. In the past, particularly in a rural courtship setting, a Filipino man, accompanied by friends, would engage in serenading the woman he adores at night. This serenading practice was an influence adopted by the Filipinos from the Spaniards
History of the Philippines (1521–1898)
This article covers the history of the Philippines from the arrival of European explorer Ferdinand Magellan in 1521, up to the end of Spanish rule in 1898.-Spanish expeditions and conquest:...
.
During the courtship process, a traditional Filipina is expected to play "hard to get", to act as if not interested, to be not flirty
Flirting
Flirting is a playful, romantic, or sexual overture by one person to another subtly indicating an interest in a deeper relationship with the other person, and can involve verbal communication as well as body language...
, and show utmost restraint, modesty, shyness, good upbringing, be well-mannered, demure, and reserved despite having great feelings for her admirer; a behavior culturally considered appropriate while being courted. This behavior serves as a tool in measuring the admirer's sincerity and seriousness. In addition to the woman's culturally appropriate behavior, she is not supposed to have dates with several admirers simultaneously. Dating couples are expected to be conservative and not perform public displays of affection for each other. Traditionally, some courtship may last a number of years before the Filipino woman accepts her suitor as a boyfriend. Conservativeness, together with repressing emotions and affection, was inherited by the Filipino woman from the colonial period under the Spaniards, a characteristic referred to as the Maria Clara attitude.
After the girlfriend-boyfriend stage, engagement, and marriage follows. With regards to the engagement and pre-marriage stages, Filipino tradition dictates that the man and his parents perform the pamamanhikan or pamanhikan (literally, a Tagalog word
Tagalog language
Tagalog is an Austronesian language spoken as a first language by a third of the population of the Philippines and as a second language by most of the rest. It is the first language of the Philippine region IV and of Metro Manila...
that means "to go up the stairs of the house" of the girlfriend and her parents; pamamanhikan is known as tampa or danon to the Ilocanos, as pasaguli to the Palaweños, and as kapamalai to the Maranao
Maranao
Maranao is the term used for the people of Lanao, a predominantly Muslim region in the Philippines island of Mindanao. They are famous for their artwork, sophisticated weaving, wood and metal craft, and their epic literature...
s). This is where and when the man and his parent's formally ask the lady's hand and blessings from her parents in order to marry
Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines
Traditional marriage customs in the Philippines and Filipino wedding practices pertain to the characteristics of marriage and wedding traditions established and adhered to by Filipino men and women in the Philippines after a period of courtship and engagement. These traditions extend to other...
. This is when the formal introduction of the man's parents and woman's parents happens. Apart from presents, the Cebuano version of the pamamanhikan includes bringing in musicians. After setting the date of the wedding and the dowry, the couple is considered officially engaged. The dowry, as a norm in the Philippines, is provided by the groom’s family. For the Filipino people, marriage is a union of two families, not just of two persons. Therefore, marrying well "enhances the good name" of both families.
Tagalog and Ilocos regions
Luzon
Luzon is the largest island in the Philippines. It is located in the northernmost region of the archipelago, and is also the name for one of the three primary island groups in the country centered on the Island of Luzon...
, the Ilocano
Ilocano people
The Ilocano or Ilokano people are the third largest Filipino ethnolinguistic group. Aside from being referred to as Ilocanos, from "i"-from, and "looc"-bay, they also refer to themselves as Samtoy, from the Ilocano phrase "sao mi ditoy", meaning 'our language here.' The word "Ilocano" came from...
s also perform serenading, known to them as tapat (literally, "to be in front of" the home of the courted woman), which is similar to the harana and also to the balagtasan of the Tagalogs. The suitor begins singing a romantic song, then the courted lady responds by singing too.
Rooster courtship is also another form of courting in Luzon. In this type of courtship, the rooster is assigned that task of being a "middleman
Negotiation
Negotiation is a dialogue between two or more people or parties, intended to reach an understanding, resolve point of difference, or gain advantage in outcome of dialogue, to produce an agreement upon courses of action, to bargain for individual or collective advantage, to craft outcomes to satisfy...
", a "negotiator", or a "go-between", wherein the male chicken is left to stay in the home of the courted to crow every single morning for the admired lady's family.
In the province of Bulacan
Bulacan
Bulacan , officially called the Province of Bulacan or simply Bulacan Province, is a first class province of the Republic of the Philippines located in the Central Luzon Region in the island of Luzon, north of Manila , and part of the Metro...
in Central Luzon
Central Luzon
Central Luzon , also known as Region III , is an administrative division or region of the Republic of the Philippines, primarily serve to organize the 7 provinces of the vast central plain of the island of Luzon , for administrative convenience...
, the Bulaqueños have a kind of courtship known as the naninilong (from the Tagalog word silong or "basement"). At midnight, the suitor goes beneath the nipa hut
Nipa Hut
The nipa hut also known as bahay kubo, is an indigenous house used in the Philippines. The native house has traditionally been constructed with bamboo tied together and covered with a thatched roof using nipa/anahaw leaves....
, a house that is elevated by bamboo
Bamboo
Bamboo is a group of perennial evergreens in the true grass family Poaceae, subfamily Bambusoideae, tribe Bambuseae. Giant bamboos are the largest members of the grass family....
poles, then prickles
Thorns, spines, and prickles
In botanical morphology, thorns, spines, and prickles are hard structures with sharp, or at least pointed, ends. In spite of this common feature, they differ in their growth and development on the plant; they are modified versions of different plant organs, stems, stipules, leaf veins, or hairs...
the admired woman by using a pointed object. Once the prickling caught the attention of the sleeping lady, the couple would be conversing in whispers.
The Ifugao of northern Luzon practices a courtship called ca-i-sing (this practice is known as the ebgan to the Kalinga
Kalinga
Kalinga is a landlocked province of the Philippines in the Cordillera Administrative Region in Luzon. Its capital is Tabuk and borders Mountain Province to the south, Abra to the west, Isabela to the east, Cagayan to the northeast, and Apayao to the north...
tribes and as pangis to the Tingguian tribes), wherein males and females are separated into "houses". The house for the Filipino males is called the Ato, while the house for Filipino females is known as the olog or agamang. The males visit the females in the olog the "bethrotal house" to sing romantic songs. The females reply to these songs also through singing. The ongoing courtship ritual is overseen by a married elder or a childess widow who keeps the parents of the participating males and females well informed of the progress of the courtship process.
After the courtship process, the Batangueños of Batangas
Batangas
Batangas is a first class province of the Philippines located on the southwestern part of Luzon in the CALABARZON region. Its capital is Batangas City and it is bordered by the provinces of Cavite and Laguna to the north and Quezon to the east. Across the Verde Island Passages to the south is the...
has a peculiar tradition performed on the eve of the wedding. A procession, composed of the groom’s mother, father, relatives, godfathers
Godparent
A godparent, in many denominations of Christianity, is someone who sponsors a child's baptism. A male godparent is a godfather, and a female godparent is a godmother...
, godmothers
Godparent
A godparent, in many denominations of Christianity, is someone who sponsors a child's baptism. A male godparent is a godfather, and a female godparent is a godmother...
, bridesmaids, and groomsmen, occurs. Their purpose is to bring the cooking ingredients for the celebration to the bride’s home, where refreshments await them.
Pangasinan region
In PangasinanPangasinan
Pangasinan is a province of the Republic of the Philippines. The provincial capital is Lingayen. Pangasinan is located on the west central and peripheral area of the island of Luzon along the Lingayen Gulf, with the total land area being 5,368.82 square kilometers . According to the latest census,...
, the Pangasinense
Pangasinan people
The Pangasinan are the eighth largest Filipino ethnolinguistic group. They are the residents or indigenous peoples of the Province of Pangasinan, one of the provinces of the Republic of the Philippines, located on the west central area in the island of Luzon along Lingayen Gulf...
s utilizes the taga-amo, which literally means "tamer", a form of love potions or charms which can be rubbed to the skin of the admired. It can also be in the form of drinkable potions. The suitor may also resort to the use of palabas, meaning show
Performance
A performance, in performing arts, generally comprises an event in which a performer or group of performers behave in a particular way for another group of people, the audience. Choral music and ballet are examples. Usually the performers participate in rehearsals beforehand. Afterwards audience...
or drama
Drama
Drama is the specific mode of fiction represented in performance. The term comes from a Greek word meaning "action" , which is derived from "to do","to act" . The enactment of drama in theatre, performed by actors on a stage before an audience, presupposes collaborative modes of production and a...
, wherein the Filipino woman succumbs to revealing her love to her suitor, who at one time will pretend or act as if he will be committing suicide
Suicide
Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one's own death. Suicide is often committed out of despair or attributed to some underlying mental disorder, such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, alcoholism, or drug abuse...
if the lady does not divulge her true feelings.
Apayao region
The ApayaoApayao
Apayao is a landlocked province of the Philippines in the Cordillera Administrative Region in Luzon. Its administrative capital is Luna and founding capital Kabugao. It borders Cagayan to the north and east, Abra and Ilocos Norte to the west, and Kalinga to the south...
s allows the practice of sleeping together during the night. This is known as liberal courtship or mahal-alay in the vernacular. This form of courting assists in assessing the woman’s feeling for her lover.
Palawan region
In PalawanPalawan
Palawan is an island province of the Philippines located in the MIMAROPA region or Region 4. Its capital is Puerto Princesa City, and it is the largest province in the country in terms of total area of jurisdiction. The islands of Palawan stretch from Mindoro in the northeast to Borneo in the...
, the Palaweños or Palawanons perform courtship through the use of love riddle
Riddle
A riddle is a statement or question or phrase having a double or veiled meaning, put forth as a puzzle to be solved. Riddles are of two types: enigmas, which are problems generally expressed in metaphorical or allegorical language that require ingenuity and careful thinking for their solution, and...
s. This is known as the pasaguli. The purpose of the love riddles is to assess the sentiments of the parents of both suitor and admirer. After this "riddle courtship", the discussion proceeds to the pabalic (can also be spelled as pabalik), to settle the price or form of the dowry
Dowry
A dowry is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings forth to the marriage. It contrasts with bride price, which is paid to the bride's parents, and dower, which is property settled on the bride herself by the groom at the time of marriage. The same culture may simultaneously practice both...
that will be received by the courted woman from the courting man.
Visayas region
When courting, the CebuanosCebuano people
The Cebuano people , are a Visayan ethnic group in Cebu and form the second largest cultural-linguistic group in the Philippines.-History:...
also resort to serenading, which is known locally as balak. They also write love letters that are sent via a trusted friend or a relative of the courted woman. Presents are not only given to the woman being courted, but also to her relatives. Similar to the practice in the Pangasinan region, as mentioned above, the Cebuanos also use love potions to win the affection of the Filipino woman.
People from Leyte
Leyte
Leyte is a province of the Philippines located in the Eastern Visayas region. Its capital is Tacloban City and occupies the northern three-quarters of the Leyte Island. Leyte is located west of Samar Island, north of Southern Leyte and south of Biliran...
performs the pangagad or paninilbihan or "servitude", instead of paying a form of dowry during the courtship period. In this form of courting, the Filipino suitor accomplishes household and farm chores for the family of the Filipino woman. The service normally lasts for approximately a year before the man and woman can get married. The Tagalogs of Luzon also refers to this courtship custom as paninilbihan meaning "being of service", but is also referred to as subok meaning a trial or test period for the serving suitor. The Bicolanos of Luzon's Bicol
Bicol Region
The Bicol Region or Bicolandia is one of the 17 regions of the Philippines. Its regional center is Legazpi City...
region, call this custom as the pamianan.
Mindanao region
The Bagobos, on the other hand, sends a knife or a spear as a gift to the home of the courted woman for inspection. Accepting the weapon is equivalent to accepting the Filipino man’s romantic intention and advances.
Pre-arranged marriage
Arranged marriage
An arranged marriage is a practice in which someone other than the couple getting married makes the selection of the persons to be wed, meanwhile curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship. Such marriages had deep roots in royal and aristocratic families around the world...
s and betrothals are common to Filipino Muslim
Muslim
A Muslim, also spelled Moslem, is an adherent of Islam, a monotheistic, Abrahamic religion based on the Quran, which Muslims consider the verbatim word of God as revealed to prophet Muhammad. "Muslim" is the Arabic term for "submitter" .Muslims believe that God is one and incomparable...
s. These formal engagements are arranged by the parents of men and the women. This also involves discussions regarding the price and the form of the dowry. The Tausog people proclaims that a wedding, a celebration or announcement known as the pangalay, will occur by playing percussive musical instruments such as the gabbang, the kulintang
Kulintang
Kulintang is a modern term for an ancient instrumental form of music composed on a row of small, horizontally-laid gongs that function melodically, accompanied by larger, suspended gongs and drums...
, and the agong. The wedding is officiated by an Imam
Imam
An imam is an Islamic leadership position, often the worship leader of a mosque and the Muslim community. Similar to spiritual leaders, the imam is the one who leads Islamic worship services. More often, the community turns to the mosque imam if they have a religious question...
. Readings from the Quran is a part of the ceremony, as well as the placement of the groom's fingerprint
Fingerprint
A fingerprint in its narrow sense is an impression left by the friction ridges of a human finger. In a wider use of the term, fingerprints are the traces of an impression from the friction ridges of any part of a human hand. A print from the foot can also leave an impression of friction ridges...
over the bride's forehead
Forehead
For the Arsenal striker see GervinhoIn human anatomy, the forehead is the fore part of the head. It is, formally, an area of the head bounded by three features, two of the skull and one of the scalp. The top of the forehead is marked by the hairline, the edge of the area where hair on the scalp...
.
19th-century Hispanic Philippines
During the 19th century in Spanish PhilippinesHistory of the Philippines (1521–1898)
This article covers the history of the Philippines from the arrival of European explorer Ferdinand Magellan in 1521, up to the end of Spanish rule in 1898.-Spanish expeditions and conquest:...
, there was a set of body language
Body language
Body language is a form of non-verbal communication, which consists of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. Humans send and interpret such signals almost entirely subconsciously....
expressed by courted women to communicate with their suitors. These are non-verbal cues which Ambeth Ocampo
Ambeth Ocampo
Ambeth R. Ocampo is a multi-awarded Filipino historian, academic, journalist, and author best known for his writings about Philippines' national hero José Rizal and for "Looking Back", his bi-weekly editorial page column in the Philippine Daily Inquirer...
referred to as "fan
Fan (implement)
A hand-held fan is an implement used to induce an airflow for the purpose of cooling or refreshing oneself. Any broad, flat surface waved back-and-forth will create a small airflow and therefore can be considered a rudimentary fan...
language". These are called as such because the woman conveys her messages through silent movements that involve a hand-held fan. Examples of such speechless communication are as follows: a courted woman covering half of her face would like her suitor to follow her; counting the ribs of the folding fan sends out a message that the lady would like to have a conversation with her admirer; holding the fan using the right hand would mean the woman is willing to have a boyfriend, while carrying the fan with the left hand signifies that she already has a lover and thus no longer available; fanning vigorously symbolizes that the lady has deep feelings for a gentleman, while fanning slowly tells that the woman courted does not have any feelings for the suitor; putting the fan aside signals that the lady does not want to be wooed by the man; and the abrupt closing of a fan means the woman dislikes the man.
Modern-day influences
Through the liberalismLiberalism
Liberalism is the belief in the importance of liberty and equal rights. Liberals espouse a wide array of views depending on their understanding of these principles, but generally, liberals support ideas such as constitutionalism, liberal democracy, free and fair elections, human rights,...
of modern-day Filipinos, there have been modifications in traditional courtship in the Philippines. However, liberalism in courting practices and standards is still milder or still more conservative than that of Western or Westernized counterparts of the Filipinos. Present-day Filipino courtship, as in the traditional form, also starts with the "teasing stage" conducted by friends. Introductions and meetings of prospective couples can now be done through a common friend or while attending a party. Modern technology has also become a part of present-day courting practices in the Philippines. Romantic conversations are done by the courted and by the Filipino bachelor through the use of cellular phones particularly through texting messages and the internet
Internet
The Internet is a global system of interconnected computer networks that use the standard Internet protocol suite to serve billions of users worldwide...
. But parents, however, still prefer that their daughters be courted formally and officially inside the confines of the Filipino home, which is a respectful way to honor the father and mother of the Filipino single woman. Although a present-day Filipino woman might be willing to encourage a man to court her, or she might even initiate the courting process, it is still also traditionally and culturally not appropriate for a suitor to introduce himself to an admired woman, or vice versa, while on the street. Servitude and serenading are no longer common, but avoidance of making love by couples prior to their life as married couples is still valued.
See also
- TampoTampoTampo, in Philippine culture, refers to a range of behavior in which a person withdraws his or her affection or cheerfulness from a person who has hurt his or her feelings....
- SumpongSumpongSumpong, in Filipino Psychology, refers to a range of short-term or temporary temperament, mood problem, or illness wherein a person withdraws affection or cheerfulness from people in general....
- Marriage and wedding customs in the PhilippinesMarriage and wedding customs in the PhilippinesTraditional marriage customs in the Philippines and Filipino wedding practices pertain to the characteristics of marriage and wedding traditions established and adhered to by Filipino men and women in the Philippines after a period of courtship and engagement. These traditions extend to other...
- Sexuality in the PhilippinesSexuality in the PhilippinesSexuality and sensuality in the Philippines or Filipino sexuality refers to human sexuality and sensuality as perceived, expressed, experienced, and valued by the Filipino people. This encompasses sexual behavior, sexual practices, and sexual activities exhibited by Filipino men and women of the...
External links
- Filipino Couples' Traits are Tied to Spousal Agreement on Pregnancy Wantedness, Digest, guttmacher.org