Swinging
Encyclopedia
Swinging or partner swapping is a non-monogamous behavior, in which both partners in a committed relationship
agree, as a couple, for both partners to engage in sexual activities with other couples as a recreational or social activity. Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from a spontaneous sexual activity at an informal social gathering of friends to planned or regular social gatherings to hooking up with like-minded couples at a swingers' club and can involve internet-based introduction services.
The phenomenon of swinging (or at least its wider discussion and practice) is regarded by some as arising from the upsurge in sexual activity during the sexual revolution
of the 1960s, made possible by the invention of the contraceptive pill and the prevalence of safer sex
practices during the same period.
The term wife swapping is now criticized as being androcentric
and not accurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which couples may take part, but the term continues in use, and reflects the origins of the concept whereby husbands were viewed as initiating an informal partner swap.
by a swinging partner is referred to as a full swap; while non-penetrative sex
, such as oral sex
, is referred to as a soft swap. New swinging couples often choose a soft swap before they are comfortable with a full swap, although many couples stay "soft swap" for personal or safety related reasons. Soft swinging occurs when the couple engage in sexual activities while two or more other couples perform sex acts in the immediate vicinity.
, his wife Jane, his scryer, Edward Kelley
and Kelley's wife Joanna on 22 April 1587, whereby conjugal relations would be shared between the men and their spouses. This arrangement arose following seance
s which apparently resulted in spirits guiding Dee and Kelley towards this course of action.
, and the Dönmeh
, followers of Shabbetai Zvi, were alleged to hold an annual springtime 'Lamb Festival,' which consisted of a celebratory dinner that included a ritualized exchange of spouses. These reports should be considered very cautiously, as they may simply be defamatory propaganda of the time against heretical groups, particularly since the groups involved were secretive and even deceptive about their beliefs, aims, and practices.
" has sometimes been applied, especially in Germany during the mid-19th century, to people who advocate spouse-trading. In fact, communist philosophy is rather anti-sexual, especially in the case of religious communists
like the Shakers
.
In The Communist Manifesto
(1848), Karl Marx
and Friedrich Engels
suggest that the allegation of communists practising "community of women" is an example of hypocrisy and psychological projection
by "bourgeois
" critics of communism, who "not content with having wives and daughters of their proletarians
at their disposal, not to speak of common prostitutes, take the greatest pleasure in seducing each other's wives."
and became more prevalent towards the latter half of the decade. According to swingingheaven over 400,000 people in the UK were estimated to have used the Internet at the time to organise or take part in swinging activities.
's The Lifestyle: a look at the erotic rites of swingers, swinging began among American Air Force pilots and their wives during World War II. The mortality rate of pilots was high, so, as Gould reports, a close bond arose between pilots that implied that pilot husbands would care for all the wives as their own- emotionally and sexually—if the husbands were away or lost. This is debatable, however, since it would have been unusual for wives to accompany their husbands on foreign tours. Though the origins of swinging are contested, it is assumed American swinging was practiced in some American military communities in the 1950s. By the time the Korean War
ended, swinging had spread from the military to the suburbs. The media dubbed the phenomenon wife-swapping.
Some swinging sexual activity can take place in a sex club
. To some extent, in the United States, these clubs are associated in the North American Swing Club Association, as an umbrella organization for swinging clubs to disseminate information about swinging across North America. Many Internet websites that cater for swinging couples now exist, some boasting hundreds of thousands of members.
In the UK, swinging became popular to some extent in the mid-1970s.
In February 2010, Christoph Büchel
and the Secession
contemporary art museum in Vienna
, Austria invited a local swingеrs' club to hold orgies and display related paraphernalia in the building where Gustav Klimt
's famous Beethoven Frieze
had prompted substantial outrage and media attention in 1902.
60% said that swinging improved their relationship; 1.7% said swinging made their relationship less happy. Approximately 50% of those who rated their relationship "very happy" before becoming swingers maintained their relationship had become happier. 90% of those with less happy relationships said swinging improved them.
Almost 70% of swingers claimed no problem with jealousy; approximately 25% admitted "I have difficulty controlling jealousy when swinging" as "somewhat true", while 6% said this was "yes, very much" true. Swingers rate themselves happier ("very happy": 59% of swingers compared to 32% of non-swingers) and their lives more "exciting" (76% of swingers compared to 54% of non-swingers) than non-swingers, by significantly large margins. There was no significant difference between responses of men and women, although more males (70%) than females completed the survey.
This study is of limited use due to self-selected sampling. Self sampling procedures create a potential for bias
. For instance, swinging couples who had stronger relationships may have been more motivated to complete the questionnaire. Alternatively, because swinging may cause stress on a marriage, perhaps only those with higher than average commitment are able to remain married. Couples who have jealousy
or strife issues caused by swinging might not persist in the activity and could therefore be less likely respondents. Additionally, couples that would be negatively affected by swinging may be less likely to try swinging in the first place.
ABC News reporter John Stossel produced an investigative report into the swinging lifestyle. Stossel reported that at that time, more than four million people were swingers, according to estimates by the Kinsey Institute and other researchers. He also cited Terry Gould
's research, which concluded that "couples swing in order to not cheat on their partners." When Stossel asked swinging couples whether they worry their spouse will "find they like someone else better", one male replied, "People in the swinging community swing for a reason. They don't swing to go out and find a new wife;" a woman asserted, "It makes women more confident - that they are the ones in charge." Stossel interviewed 12 marriage counselors. According to Stossel, "not one of them said don't do it", though some said "getting sexual thrills outside of marriage can threaten a marriage". Nevertheless, swingers whom Stossel interviewed claimed "their marriages are stronger because they don't have affairs and they don't lie to each other."
According to economic studies on swinging, the ICT revolution, together with improvements in medicine, has been effective in reducing some of the costs of swinging and hence in increasing the number of swingers. And the economic approaches which seem best suited to capture the empirical data are those based on the concept of hedonic adaptation. These approaches suggest that it is consistent with maximizing swingers’ strategy to begin from "soft" swinging and only later engage in "harder" swinging, and that also the search for ever new sexual experiences delays long-period hedonic adaptation and hence increases swingers’ long-period wellbeing. Both these theoretical predictions seem to find confirmation in the empirical data on swinger behaviour.
. Some couples reduce the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease
(STD) by exchanging STD test results and serosorting
. The majority of swingers engage in safe sex
practices and will not engage with others who do not also practice safe sex. Proponents for swinging point to the fact that safe sex is accepted within the community and the risk of sexual disease is the same for them as for the general population—and that some populations of sexually non-monogamous people have clearly lower rates of STDs than the general population. Opponents are concerned about the risk of pregnancy and STDs such as HIV
, arguing that even protected sex is risky given that some STDs may be spread regardless of the use of condoms, such as Herpes and HPV.
A study done in the Netherlands that compared the medical records of self reported swingers to that of the general population found that STD prevalence was highest in young people, homosexual men, and swingers. However, this study has been criticized as not being representative of swinger populations as a whole: its data was formulated solely on patients receiving treatment at an STD clinic. In addition, according to the conclusions of the report the STD rates of swingers were in fact nearly identical to those of non-swinging straight couples, and concluded that the safest demographic for STD infection were female prostitutes. According to the Dutch study, "the combined rates of chlamydia and gonorrhea were just over 10 percent among straight people, 14 percent among gay men, just under 5 percent in female prostitutes, and 10.4 percent among swingers, they found."
Many people argue that any sex is wrong outside of marriage, whether it be with the spouse's permission or without it.
Those who object on moral or philosophical grounds to the basic principles of swinging may insist that sexual relations should only occur within a committed relationship.
Many swinging clubs in the US and UK do not have alcohol licenses and have a "bring your own beverage" (BYOB) policy. Also, it is not uncommon for experienced swingers to remain sober; these individuals may state that they take a safer approach to sexual health than comparable non-monogamous singles (who ostensibly have impaired judgment from becoming inebriated).
Condoms are often required at many swinging clubs and parties. In addition, a minority of swingers rely on STD testing to ensure their safety. A small portion focus on massage and other activities unlikely to transmit STDs; however, most participants acknowledge they are accepting the risks that any sexually promiscuous member of society does.
Although there is a risk of pregnancy, there are ways to minimize the risk to almost zero. Solutions include a tubal ligation (female sterilization), vasectomy (male sterilization), or having a group entirely made of menopausal women. Other solutions include using condoms with another form of non-surgical birth control such as using the pill. Proper use of a condom with an effective birth control method will minimize the risk of pregnancy and transmission of sexually transmitted disease.
Some believe sexual attraction is part of human nature and should be openly enjoyed by a committed or married couple. Some swingers cite divorce data in the US, claiming the lack of quality of sex and spousal infidelity are significant factors in divorce. One study showed 37% of husbands and 29% of wives admit at least one extramarital affair (Reinisch, 1990), and divorce rates for first marriages approached 60%.
As one study asserted:
of northern Irian Jaya, the agama toŋkat (Indonesian for 'walking-stick') cult "encouraged men to trade wives, i.e., to have sexual relations with each other's wives. This trading of sexual favours ... was only between pairs of families, ... adherents are now very secretive concerning cult activities and teachings." In this 'walking-stick' cult "the walking stick ... dute is the term men use to refer to the husband of the woman who becomes his sexual partner." Furthermore, "There have been other similar movements ... near Jayapura. These are popularly called Towel Religion (agama handuk) and The Simpson Religion (agama simpson)."
Among the Mimika of southern Irian Jaya, temporary spouse-trading is said to have been originated by a woman who had returned from the world of the dead: "The wife says to her husband, '... tonight I will sleep in the house of the headman ..., and ... his wife, will sleep in your house. Because I have been dead ..., tonight I am going to do for the first time what people have been looking forward to (for so long). I am going to institute the papisj, wife exchange.'"
Temporary "wife-lending ... was apparently more common among the Aleuts than Eskimos".
Several motivations for temporary spouse-trading are practiced among the Inuit:
Among the Inuit
, a very specialized and socially-circumscribed form of wife-sharing was practiced. When hunters were away, they would often stumble into the tribal lands of other tribes, and be subject to death for the offense. But, when they could show a "relationship" by virtue of a man, father or grandfather who had sex with their wife, mother or other female relatives, the wandering hunter was then regarded as family. The Inuit had specific terminology and language describing the complex relationships that emerged from this practice of wife sharing. A man called another man "aipak" if the man had sex with his wife. Aipak means, "other me." So, in their conception, this other man sleeping with one's wife was just "another me."
Among the Bari tribe of Venezuela, when a woman becomes pregnant, the women often take other male lovers. These additional lovers then take on the role of secondary or tertiary fathers to the child. If the primary father should die, the other men then have a social obligation to support these children. Research has shown that children with such "extra" fathers have improved life outcomes, in this economically and resource-poor area of the jungle.
Film
Literature
Television
Committed relationship
A committed relationship is an interpersonal relationship based upon a mutually agreed-upon commitment to one another involving exclusivity, honesty, openness, or some other agreed-upon behavior. Forms of committed relationships are: close friendship, courtship, long-term relationships ,...
agree, as a couple, for both partners to engage in sexual activities with other couples as a recreational or social activity. Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from a spontaneous sexual activity at an informal social gathering of friends to planned or regular social gatherings to hooking up with like-minded couples at a swingers' club and can involve internet-based introduction services.
The phenomenon of swinging (or at least its wider discussion and practice) is regarded by some as arising from the upsurge in sexual activity during the sexual revolution
Sexual revolution
The sexual revolution was a social movement that challenged traditional codes of behavior related to sexuality and interpersonal relationships throughout the Western world from the 1960s into the 1980s...
of the 1960s, made possible by the invention of the contraceptive pill and the prevalence of safer sex
Safe sex
Safe sex is sexual activity engaged in by people who have taken precautions to protect themselves against sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS. It is also referred to as safer sex or protected sex, while unsafe or unprotected sex is sexual activity engaged in without precautions...
practices during the same period.
The term wife swapping is now criticized as being androcentric
Androcentrism
Androcentrism is the practice, conscious or otherwise, of placing male human beings or the masculine point of view at the center of one's view of the world and its culture and history...
and not accurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which couples may take part, but the term continues in use, and reflects the origins of the concept whereby husbands were viewed as initiating an informal partner swap.
Terminology
As a general rule, swinging couples engage in conventional sexual activities, but with other partners. Penetrative sexSexual intercourse
Sexual intercourse, also known as copulation or coitus, commonly refers to the act in which a male's penis enters a female's vagina for the purposes of sexual pleasure or reproduction. The entities may be of opposite sexes, or they may be hermaphroditic, as is the case with snails...
by a swinging partner is referred to as a full swap; while non-penetrative sex
Non-penetrative sex
Non-penetrative sex is sexual activity without vaginal, anal, or oral penetration, as opposed to the penetrative aspects of those activities...
, such as oral sex
Oral sex
Oral sex is sexual activity involving the stimulation of the genitalia of a sex partner by the use of the mouth, tongue, teeth or throat. Cunnilingus refers to oral sex performed on females while fellatio refer to oral sex performed on males. Anilingus refers to oral stimulation of a person's anus...
, is referred to as a soft swap. New swinging couples often choose a soft swap before they are comfortable with a full swap, although many couples stay "soft swap" for personal or safety related reasons. Soft swinging occurs when the couple engage in sexual activities while two or more other couples perform sex acts in the immediate vicinity.
Reasons for swinging
Couples engage in sexual activities with others for a variety of reasons, and the reasons are not necessarily the same for both partners. Some partners engage in these activities to add variety into their otherwise conventional sex lives or for curiosity. Some regard such activities as social interactions. Others treat such activities as a means of satisfying their heightened sexual desires.16th century
A formal arrangement was signed by John DeeJohn Dee
John Dee was a Welsh mathematician, astronomer, astrologer, occultist, navigator, imperialist, and consultant to Queen Elizabeth I.John Dee may also refer to:* John Dee , Basketball coach...
, his wife Jane, his scryer, Edward Kelley
Edward Kelley
Sir Edward Kelley or Kelly, also known as Edward Talbot was an ambiguous figure in English Renaissance occultism and self-declared spirit medium who worked with John Dee in his magical investigations...
and Kelley's wife Joanna on 22 April 1587, whereby conjugal relations would be shared between the men and their spouses. This arrangement arose following seance
Séance
A séance is an attempt to communicate with spirits. The word "séance" comes from the French word for "seat," "session" or "sitting," from the Old French "seoir," "to sit." In French, the word's meaning is quite general: one may, for example, speak of "une séance de cinéma"...
s which apparently resulted in spirits guiding Dee and Kelley towards this course of action.
18th century
The only group that was known to openly practice wife-swapping were European intellectuals. Even to this day, Europeans and American intellectuals try to find instances of open extra-marital sex of religious groups of the Abrahamic faiths. According to certain of these intellectuals, two related messianic Jewish sects of the eighteenth century, the Frankists, followers of Jacob FrankJacob Frank
Jacob Frank was an 18th century Jewish religious leader who claimed to be the reincarnation of the self-proclaimed messiah Sabbatai Zevi and also of the biblical patriarch Jacob...
, and the Dönmeh
Dönmeh
Dönmeh refers to a group of crypto-Jews in the Ottoman Empire and present-day Turkey who openly affiliated with Islam and secretly practiced a form of Judaism called Sabbateanism...
, followers of Shabbetai Zvi, were alleged to hold an annual springtime 'Lamb Festival,' which consisted of a celebratory dinner that included a ritualized exchange of spouses. These reports should be considered very cautiously, as they may simply be defamatory propaganda of the time against heretical groups, particularly since the groups involved were secretive and even deceptive about their beliefs, aims, and practices.
19th century
The sobriquet "communistCommunism
Communism is a social, political and economic ideology that aims at the establishment of a classless, moneyless, revolutionary and stateless socialist society structured upon common ownership of the means of production...
" has sometimes been applied, especially in Germany during the mid-19th century, to people who advocate spouse-trading. In fact, communist philosophy is rather anti-sexual, especially in the case of religious communists
Religious communism
Religious communism is a form of communism centered on religious principles. The term usually refers to a number of egalitarian and utopian religious societies practicing the voluntary dissolution of private property, so that society's benefits are distributed according to a person's needs, and...
like the Shakers
Shakers
The United Society of Believers in Christ’s Second Appearing, known as the Shakers, is a religious sect originally thought to be a development of the Religious Society of Friends...
.
In The Communist Manifesto
The Communist Manifesto
The Communist Manifesto, originally titled Manifesto of the Communist Party is a short 1848 publication written by the German Marxist political theorists Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels. It has since been recognized as one of the world's most influential political manuscripts. Commissioned by the...
(1848), Karl Marx
Karl Marx
Karl Heinrich Marx was a German philosopher, economist, sociologist, historian, journalist, and revolutionary socialist. His ideas played a significant role in the development of social science and the socialist political movement...
and Friedrich Engels
Friedrich Engels
Friedrich Engels was a German industrialist, social scientist, author, political theorist, philosopher, and father of Marxist theory, alongside Karl Marx. In 1845 he published The Condition of the Working Class in England, based on personal observations and research...
suggest that the allegation of communists practising "community of women" is an example of hypocrisy and psychological projection
Psychological projection
Psychological projection or projection bias is a psychological defense mechanism where a person subconsciously denies his or her own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, usually to other people...
by "bourgeois
Bourgeoisie
In sociology and political science, bourgeoisie describes a range of groups across history. In the Western world, between the late 18th century and the present day, the bourgeoisie is a social class "characterized by their ownership of capital and their related culture." A member of the...
" critics of communism, who "not content with having wives and daughters of their proletarians
Proletariat
The proletariat is a term used to identify a lower social class, usually the working class; a member of such a class is proletarian...
at their disposal, not to speak of common prostitutes, take the greatest pleasure in seducing each other's wives."
20th century
Online swinging took off in the late 1990s due to the rise of the InternetInternet
The Internet is a global system of interconnected computer networks that use the standard Internet protocol suite to serve billions of users worldwide...
and became more prevalent towards the latter half of the decade. According to swingingheaven over 400,000 people in the UK were estimated to have used the Internet at the time to organise or take part in swinging activities.
Modern swinging
According to Terry GouldTerry Gould
Terry Gould is a Canadian author and investigative journalist. His bestselling books and articles on organized crime and social issues have earned 48 awards and honors from numerous foundations, including the Canadian Association of Journalists, Canadian Journalists for Free Expression and the...
's The Lifestyle: a look at the erotic rites of swingers, swinging began among American Air Force pilots and their wives during World War II. The mortality rate of pilots was high, so, as Gould reports, a close bond arose between pilots that implied that pilot husbands would care for all the wives as their own- emotionally and sexually—if the husbands were away or lost. This is debatable, however, since it would have been unusual for wives to accompany their husbands on foreign tours. Though the origins of swinging are contested, it is assumed American swinging was practiced in some American military communities in the 1950s. By the time the Korean War
Korean War
The Korean War was a conventional war between South Korea, supported by the United Nations, and North Korea, supported by the People's Republic of China , with military material aid from the Soviet Union...
ended, swinging had spread from the military to the suburbs. The media dubbed the phenomenon wife-swapping.
Some swinging sexual activity can take place in a sex club
Sex club
Sex clubs are either groups that organize sex related activities or an establishment where patrons can engage in sex acts with other patrons. A sex club differs from a brothel in that, while sex club patrons typically pay a fee to enter the club, they have sex with other patrons rather than with...
. To some extent, in the United States, these clubs are associated in the North American Swing Club Association, as an umbrella organization for swinging clubs to disseminate information about swinging across North America. Many Internet websites that cater for swinging couples now exist, some boasting hundreds of thousands of members.
In the UK, swinging became popular to some extent in the mid-1970s.
In February 2010, Christoph Büchel
Christoph Büchel
Christoph Büchel is a Swiss artist.-Biography:Christoph Büchel was born in Basel, Switzerland, in 1966. Büchel creates hyper-realistic environments that are, in essence, like walking into a mind at work...
and the Secession
Secession hall (Austria)
The Secession building is an exhibition hall built in 1897 by Joseph Maria Olbrich as an architectural manifesto for the Vienna Secession, located in Vienna, Austria...
contemporary art museum in Vienna
Vienna
Vienna is the capital and largest city of the Republic of Austria and one of the nine states of Austria. Vienna is Austria's primary city, with a population of about 1.723 million , and is by far the largest city in Austria, as well as its cultural, economic, and political centre...
, Austria invited a local swingеrs' club to hold orgies and display related paraphernalia in the building where Gustav Klimt
Gustav Klimt
Gustav Klimt was an Austrian Symbolist painter and one of the most prominent members of the Vienna Secession movement. His major works include paintings, murals, sketches, and other art objects...
's famous Beethoven Frieze
Beethoven Frieze
The Beethoven Frieze is a painting by Gustav Klimt.-Description:In 1902, Klimt painted the Beethoven Frieze for the 14th Vienna Secessionist exhibition, which was intended to be a celebration of the composer and featured a monumental polychrome sculpture by Max Klinger. Meant for the exhibition...
had prompted substantial outrage and media attention in 1902.
Research
Research has been conducted in the United States since the late 1960s. One study, based on an Internet questionnaire addressed to visitors of swinger-related sites, found swingers are happier in their relationships than the norm,.60% said that swinging improved their relationship; 1.7% said swinging made their relationship less happy. Approximately 50% of those who rated their relationship "very happy" before becoming swingers maintained their relationship had become happier. 90% of those with less happy relationships said swinging improved them.
Almost 70% of swingers claimed no problem with jealousy; approximately 25% admitted "I have difficulty controlling jealousy when swinging" as "somewhat true", while 6% said this was "yes, very much" true. Swingers rate themselves happier ("very happy": 59% of swingers compared to 32% of non-swingers) and their lives more "exciting" (76% of swingers compared to 54% of non-swingers) than non-swingers, by significantly large margins. There was no significant difference between responses of men and women, although more males (70%) than females completed the survey.
This study is of limited use due to self-selected sampling. Self sampling procedures create a potential for bias
Bias
Bias is an inclination to present or hold a partial perspective at the expense of alternatives. Bias can come in many forms.-In judgement and decision making:...
. For instance, swinging couples who had stronger relationships may have been more motivated to complete the questionnaire. Alternatively, because swinging may cause stress on a marriage, perhaps only those with higher than average commitment are able to remain married. Couples who have jealousy
Jealousy
Jealousy is a second emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions...
or strife issues caused by swinging might not persist in the activity and could therefore be less likely respondents. Additionally, couples that would be negatively affected by swinging may be less likely to try swinging in the first place.
ABC News reporter John Stossel produced an investigative report into the swinging lifestyle. Stossel reported that at that time, more than four million people were swingers, according to estimates by the Kinsey Institute and other researchers. He also cited Terry Gould
Terry Gould
Terry Gould is a Canadian author and investigative journalist. His bestselling books and articles on organized crime and social issues have earned 48 awards and honors from numerous foundations, including the Canadian Association of Journalists, Canadian Journalists for Free Expression and the...
's research, which concluded that "couples swing in order to not cheat on their partners." When Stossel asked swinging couples whether they worry their spouse will "find they like someone else better", one male replied, "People in the swinging community swing for a reason. They don't swing to go out and find a new wife;" a woman asserted, "It makes women more confident - that they are the ones in charge." Stossel interviewed 12 marriage counselors. According to Stossel, "not one of them said don't do it", though some said "getting sexual thrills outside of marriage can threaten a marriage". Nevertheless, swingers whom Stossel interviewed claimed "their marriages are stronger because they don't have affairs and they don't lie to each other."
According to economic studies on swinging, the ICT revolution, together with improvements in medicine, has been effective in reducing some of the costs of swinging and hence in increasing the number of swingers. And the economic approaches which seem best suited to capture the empirical data are those based on the concept of hedonic adaptation. These approaches suggest that it is consistent with maximizing swingers’ strategy to begin from "soft" swinging and only later engage in "harder" swinging, and that also the search for ever new sexual experiences delays long-period hedonic adaptation and hence increases swingers’ long-period wellbeing. Both these theoretical predictions seem to find confirmation in the empirical data on swinger behaviour.
Health risks
Some swingers engage in unprotected sex, a practice known as barebackingBarebacking
Bareback is a slang term to describe acts of sexual penetration without the use of a condom.The term comes from the equestrian term bareback, which refers to the practice of riding a horse without a saddle...
. Some couples reduce the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease
Sexually transmitted disease
Sexually transmitted disease , also known as a sexually transmitted infection or venereal disease , is an illness that has a significant probability of transmission between humans by means of human sexual behavior, including vaginal intercourse, oral sex, and anal sex...
(STD) by exchanging STD test results and serosorting
Serosorting
Serosorting is the practice of using HIV status as a decision-making point in choosing sexual behavior. Frequently the term is used to describe the behavior of a person who chooses a sexual partner assumed to be of the same HIV serostatus for the purpose of engaging in unprotected sex with the...
. The majority of swingers engage in safe sex
Safe sex
Safe sex is sexual activity engaged in by people who have taken precautions to protect themselves against sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS. It is also referred to as safer sex or protected sex, while unsafe or unprotected sex is sexual activity engaged in without precautions...
practices and will not engage with others who do not also practice safe sex. Proponents for swinging point to the fact that safe sex is accepted within the community and the risk of sexual disease is the same for them as for the general population—and that some populations of sexually non-monogamous people have clearly lower rates of STDs than the general population. Opponents are concerned about the risk of pregnancy and STDs such as HIV
HIV
Human immunodeficiency virus is a lentivirus that causes acquired immunodeficiency syndrome , a condition in humans in which progressive failure of the immune system allows life-threatening opportunistic infections and cancers to thrive...
, arguing that even protected sex is risky given that some STDs may be spread regardless of the use of condoms, such as Herpes and HPV.
A study done in the Netherlands that compared the medical records of self reported swingers to that of the general population found that STD prevalence was highest in young people, homosexual men, and swingers. However, this study has been criticized as not being representative of swinger populations as a whole: its data was formulated solely on patients receiving treatment at an STD clinic. In addition, according to the conclusions of the report the STD rates of swingers were in fact nearly identical to those of non-swinging straight couples, and concluded that the safest demographic for STD infection were female prostitutes. According to the Dutch study, "the combined rates of chlamydia and gonorrhea were just over 10 percent among straight people, 14 percent among gay men, just under 5 percent in female prostitutes, and 10.4 percent among swingers, they found."
Religious and moral objections
Those who object on moral or philosophical grounds to the basic principles of swinging may urge that sexual relations should only occur within a committed relationship. Some argue that if sex becomes the main reason for swinging, sex may become mechanistic and less satisfying than the intimacy experienced by monogamous couples.Many people argue that any sex is wrong outside of marriage, whether it be with the spouse's permission or without it.
Those who object on moral or philosophical grounds to the basic principles of swinging may insist that sexual relations should only occur within a committed relationship.
Common responses to objections
Many couples enter swinging while in secure relationships, providing added motivation to avoid excessive health risks. While sexual affairs outside relationships may be in the heat of the moment without regard to consequences, swingers maintain that sex among swingers is a more thought-out and practical affair.Many swinging clubs in the US and UK do not have alcohol licenses and have a "bring your own beverage" (BYOB) policy. Also, it is not uncommon for experienced swingers to remain sober; these individuals may state that they take a safer approach to sexual health than comparable non-monogamous singles (who ostensibly have impaired judgment from becoming inebriated).
Condoms are often required at many swinging clubs and parties. In addition, a minority of swingers rely on STD testing to ensure their safety. A small portion focus on massage and other activities unlikely to transmit STDs; however, most participants acknowledge they are accepting the risks that any sexually promiscuous member of society does.
Although there is a risk of pregnancy, there are ways to minimize the risk to almost zero. Solutions include a tubal ligation (female sterilization), vasectomy (male sterilization), or having a group entirely made of menopausal women. Other solutions include using condoms with another form of non-surgical birth control such as using the pill. Proper use of a condom with an effective birth control method will minimize the risk of pregnancy and transmission of sexually transmitted disease.
Some believe sexual attraction is part of human nature and should be openly enjoyed by a committed or married couple. Some swingers cite divorce data in the US, claiming the lack of quality of sex and spousal infidelity are significant factors in divorce. One study showed 37% of husbands and 29% of wives admit at least one extramarital affair (Reinisch, 1990), and divorce rates for first marriages approached 60%.
As one study asserted:
According to King (1996) sexual habituation leads to changes in interaction with partners. At three to seven years into a marriage, it takes increased stimulation to produce the sexual excitation previously obtained by a glance or simple touch. A couple receptive to new and different sexual experiences will begin to explore different avenues of shared sexual fulfillment to continue to grow together. At this stressful point infidelity increases and the divorce rate peaks. Couples who find a way to reconnect physically and emotionally are more likely to make it through this period. Swinging may be one solution – it provides sexual variety, adventure, and the opportunity to live out fantasies as a couple without secrecy and deceit.
Many swingers report that their relationships are strengthened through swinging, and say their sex lives are more intimate and satisfying. Jealousy can occur, but proponents of swinging assert that jealousy is mainly couples whose relationships were already unstable. The effect on unstable relationships has yet to be determined.
Africa
Temporary spouse-trading is practiced as an element of ritual initiation into the Lemba secret society in the French Congo through "wife exchange" : "you shall lay with the priestess-wife of your Lemba Father, and he shall lay with your wife too."New Guinea
Among the OryaOrya
The Orya, literally means "The Sausage", in a Greek comedy written by Epicharmus in 500 B.C, mentioned by Hesychius.The name 'Orya' is also an uncommon Hebrew name that derives from the roots 'Or' and 'ya' , meaning 'the light of God'...
of northern Irian Jaya, the agama toŋkat (Indonesian for 'walking-stick') cult "encouraged men to trade wives, i.e., to have sexual relations with each other's wives. This trading of sexual favours ... was only between pairs of families, ... adherents are now very secretive concerning cult activities and teachings." In this 'walking-stick' cult "the walking stick ... dute is the term men use to refer to the husband of the woman who becomes his sexual partner." Furthermore, "There have been other similar movements ... near Jayapura. These are popularly called Towel Religion (agama handuk) and The Simpson Religion (agama simpson)."
Among the Mimika of southern Irian Jaya, temporary spouse-trading is said to have been originated by a woman who had returned from the world of the dead: "The wife says to her husband, '... tonight I will sleep in the house of the headman ..., and ... his wife, will sleep in your house. Because I have been dead ..., tonight I am going to do for the first time what people have been looking forward to (for so long). I am going to institute the papisj, wife exchange.'"
Inuit and Aleut
"Inuit wife trading has often been reported and commented on ..."Temporary "wife-lending ... was apparently more common among the Aleuts than Eskimos".
Several motivations for temporary spouse-trading are practiced among the Inuit:
- at the instigation of an aŋekok (shaman), as a magical rite to achieve better weather for hunting-expeditions;
- as a regular feature of the annual "Bladder Festival";
- for a man visiting without being accompanied his wife, under the promise that he will in the future make his own wife sexually available to his host whenever the host will himself come visiting his erstwhile guest.
Among the Inuit
Inuit
The Inuit are a group of culturally similar indigenous peoples inhabiting the Arctic regions of Canada , Denmark , Russia and the United States . Inuit means “the people” in the Inuktitut language...
, a very specialized and socially-circumscribed form of wife-sharing was practiced. When hunters were away, they would often stumble into the tribal lands of other tribes, and be subject to death for the offense. But, when they could show a "relationship" by virtue of a man, father or grandfather who had sex with their wife, mother or other female relatives, the wandering hunter was then regarded as family. The Inuit had specific terminology and language describing the complex relationships that emerged from this practice of wife sharing. A man called another man "aipak" if the man had sex with his wife. Aipak means, "other me." So, in their conception, this other man sleeping with one's wife was just "another me."
South American Indians
Among the Araweté (Asurini) in the state of Pará, Brazil, "spouse-swapping" is practiced.Among the Bari tribe of Venezuela, when a woman becomes pregnant, the women often take other male lovers. These additional lovers then take on the role of secondary or tertiary fathers to the child. If the primary father should die, the other men then have a social obligation to support these children. Research has shown that children with such "extra" fathers have improved life outcomes, in this economically and resource-poor area of the jungle.
In popular culture
Film
- The Blood OrangesThe Blood OrangesBlood Oranges is a 1997 erotic drama film directed by Philip Haas. This was Haas’s third feature film, which is based on the 1972 erotic cult novel by John Hawkes .-Cast:*Sheryl Lee Fiona*Charles Dance Cyril*Colin Lane Hugh...
(1997), two western couples, one with children, come together in the fictional Mediterranean village of Ilyria. The film was adapted from the 1970 novel by John Hawkes. - Bob & Carol & Ted & AliceBob & Carol & Ted & AliceBob & Carol & Ted & Alice is a 1969 comedy-drama film directed by Paul Mazursky. It stars Natalie Wood, Robert Culp, Elliott Gould and Dyan Cannon....
(1969) is an American comedy classic that captures the sexual revolution of the late 1960s in the United States. It was nominated for four Academy Awards; Best Actor in a Supporting Role, Best Actress in a Supporting Role, Best Cinematography, and Best Original Screenplay. - BrünoBrüno (film)Brüno is a 2009 British mockumentary comedy film directed by Larry Charles and starring Sacha Baron Cohen, who produced, co-wrote, and starred as the gay Austrian fashion journalist Brüno...
involves the protagonist being involved in a swingers' meeting. - Eating RaoulEating RaoulEating Raoul is a 1982 black comedy about a married couple living in Hollywood who resort to killing swingers for their money. It was directed by Paul Bartel and written by Bartel and Richard Blackburn...
(1982) is a comic send-up of swinging stereotypes. - The Fourth ProtocolThe Fourth Protocol (film)The Fourth Protocol is a 1987 Cold War spy film starring Michael Caine and Pierce Brosnan, based on the novel The Fourth Protocol by Frederick Forsyth.- Plot :The plot centres on a secret 1968 East-West agreement to halt nuclear proliferation...
(1987) shows a brief clip of four American women and an American airman naked in a room. The swinger overtones were very implicit. - The Ice StormThe Ice StormThe Ice Storm is a 1994 American novel by Rick Moody. The novel was widely acclaimed by readers and critics alike, described as a funny, acerbic, and moving hymn to a dazed and confused era of American life....
(1997) by director Ang Lee features a cheating husband, played by Kevin Kline, and his long suffering wife, played by Joan Allen, who attend a "key party" during a nasty ice storm. - The RaptureThe Rapture (film)The Rapture is a 1991 psychological/religious drama film starring Mimi Rogers, David Duchovny, Darwyn Carson, Patrick Bauchau, Marvin Elkins, Will Patton, and Stephanie Menuez; directed by Michael Tolkin; rated R; 100 minutes long; and produced by New Line Cinema.-Cast:*Mimi Rogers... Sharon*David...
(1992). Mimi Rogers's character Sharon pursues an active swinging lifestyle with her 'partner', played by Rustam Branaman. - The Sex MonsterThe Sex MonsterThe Sex Monster is a 1999 American comedy film directed and written by Mike Binder.- Plot :A neurotic businessman tries to improve his sex life with his wife by encouraging her to have a threesome involving another woman. Fortunately, she likes the idea. Unfortunately, she decides that she...
(1999) is a comedy about a couple who begin a ménage à troisMénage à troisMénage à trois is a French term which originally described a domestic arrangement in which three people having sexual relations occupy the same household – the phrase literally translates as "household of three"...
with another woman. - SwingersSwingers (2002 film)Swingers is a Dutch feature film released in 2002 and tells the story of a thirty-something couple Diana and Julian and their experiment in swinging.-Synopsis:...
(2002) is a Dutch film that tells the story of a thirty-something couple and their first experiments with the swinging lifestyle. - Swinging with the Finkels (2010) features Mandy Moore and Martin Freeman as a suburban married couple looking to improve their sex lives through swinging.
- SwingstockSwingstockSwingstock is an annual summer camp for swingers that takes place in the United States.The couples,males and females and adults-only camp has been running since 1988, with the exception of one summer. The event consists of orgies and entertainment organised by the campers themselves. The camp is...
has been featured on HBO's Real Sex and Playboy Channel Sexcetera. - Zebra LoungeZebra LoungeZebra Lounge is a 2001 erotic thriller directed by Kari Skogland and written by Claire Montgomery and Monte Montgomery.-Plot:Alan and Wendy Barnet are stuck in a marital rut and decide to answer an ad they find in a swinging magazine. The couple meets with Jack and Louise Bauer at the Zebra Lounge...
(2001) talks about swinging and its effects on the lives of a married couple with kids who seek some sexual adventures.
Literature
- In John IrvingJohn IrvingJohn Winslow Irving is an American novelist and Academy Award-winning screenwriter.Irving achieved critical and popular acclaim after the international success of The World According to Garp in 1978...
's novel The 158-Pound MarriageThe 158-Pound MarriageJohn Irving's third and perhaps darkest novel, The 158-Pound Marriage examines the sexual revolution-era trend of 'swinging' via a glimpse into the lives of two couples in a small New England college town who enter casually into such an affair, with disastrous consequences.-Plot summary:The...
, two New EnglandNew EnglandNew England is a region in the northeastern corner of the United States consisting of the six states of Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Connecticut...
college professors and their wives enter a ménage à quatre with disastrous consequences. - Harmon Leon wrote about infiltrating the world of swingers in his book, The American Dream. He went undercover and lived the swinger lifestyle.
Television
- In a 1972 episode of All in the FamilyAll in the FamilyAll in the Family is an American sitcom that was originally broadcast on the CBS television network from January 12, 1971, to April 8, 1979. In September 1979, a new show, Archie Bunker's Place, picked up where All in the Family had ended...
, EdithEdith BunkerEdith Bunker is a fictional 1970s sitcom character on All in the Family , played by Jean Stapleton. She was the wife of Archie Bunker , mother of Gloria Stivic, mother-in-law of Michael "Meathead" Stivic, and, after 1975, grandmother of Joey Stivic...
befriends a couple whose names she finds in a "friendship" magazine and invites them over for coffee, not realizing that they are swingers expecting to swap spouses with her and ArchieArchie BunkerArchibald "Archie" Bunker is a fictional New Yorker in the 1970s top-rated American television sitcom All in the Family and its spin-off Archie Bunker's Place, played to acclaim by Carroll O'Connor. Bunker is a veteran of World War II, reactionary, bigoted, conservative, blue-collar worker, and...
for the night. - A 2010 episode (118) of the series Criminal MindsCriminal MindsCriminal Minds is an American police procedural drama that premiered September 22, 2005, on CBS. The series follows a team of profilers from the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit based in Quantico, Virginia. The BAU is part of the FBI National Center for the Analysis of Violent Crime...
featured an episode with a serial killer who met his victims in swing clubs and acted out because his wife got pregnant. - In an episode of American crime drama CSI: Crime Scene InvestigationCSI: Crime Scene InvestigationCSI: Crime Scene Investigation is an American crime drama television series, which premiered on CBS on October 6, 2000. The show was created by Anthony E. Zuiker and produced by Jerry Bruckheimer...
, "Swap MeetSwap meetSwap meet can mean:*Swap meet, a type of flea market*Swap Meet , a song by Nirvana*Swap Meet, a pricing game on the Price is Right game show*Swap Meet , an episode of the television program CSI...
", a woman is found dead in the fountain of a gated community after visiting a neighborhood swingers party. - In The Hard Times of RJ BergerThe Hard Times of RJ BergerThe Hard Times of RJ Berger is a United States television comedy series created by David Katzenberg and Seth Grahame-Smith for MTV. The show's central character is RJ Berger an unpopular sophomore at the fictional Pinkerton High School in Ohio who has an exceptionally large penis...
, RJ's parents are apparently swingers. - InJourneymanJourneyman (TV series)Journeyman is a 2007 American science fiction television drama created by Kevin Falls for 20th Century Fox Television which aired on the NBC television network. It starred Kevin McKidd as Dan Vasser, a San Francisco reporter who involuntarily travels through time...
, the eighth episode "Winterland" shows Dan VasserDan VasserDaniel "Dan" Vasser is a fictional character on the critically acclaimed American drama Journeyman. He is played by Scottish actor Kevin McKidd.Vasser is the main protagonist of the series, who begins to time travel, unable to stop or control the jumps...
traveling back to 1973 along with Livia and finding themselves in a swinging party. - The short-lived 2003 series Keen EddieKeen EddieKeen Eddie is an American action, comedy-drama television series that aired in 2003 on the Fox Network. The series follows a brash NYPD detective who goes to London when one of his cases goes sour and remains to work with New Scotland Yard...
featured a character Monty Pippin who, along with a female friend, pretended to be married in order to gain access to a swingers' club for recreational sex. - An episode of the BBC television programme Life on MarsLife on Mars (TV series)Life on Mars is a British television series broadcast on BBC One between January 2006 and April 2007. The series combines elements of science fiction and police procedural....
featured the main characters infiltrating a swingers' club. - In an episode of his Louis Theroux's Weird WeekendsLouis Theroux's Weird WeekendsLouis Theroux's Weird Weekends is a television documentary series, in which Louis Theroux gives viewers the chance to get brief glimpses into the worlds of individuals and groups that they would not normally come into contact with or experience up close...
series, the BBC2 interviewer and documentary maker Louis Theroux investigated an American Swingers group. - In an episode on the first season of the FoxFox Broadcasting CompanyFox Broadcasting Company, commonly referred to as Fox Network or simply Fox , is an American commercial broadcasting television network owned by Fox Entertainment Group, part of Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation. Launched on October 9, 1986, Fox was the highest-rated broadcast network in the...
series The OC, SandySandy CohenSanford "Sandy" Cohen is a fictional character on the FOX series The O.C., portrayed by Peter Gallagher.Sandy, a lawyer, raconteur, and son of Sophie Cohen, is married to Kirsten Cohen. Their eldest child, Seth, is something of a social misfit. Sandy's father left his mother when he was young and...
and Kirsten CohenKirsten CohenKirsten Cohen is a fictional character on the FOX television series The O.C., portrayed by Kelly Rowan. Kirsten is the wife of Sandy Cohen, mother to Seth Cohen, and the adoptive mother of Ryan Atwood...
are tricked into attending a swingers' party on New Year's Eve. - In the second series of Sugar Rush (TV series)Sugar Rush (TV series)Sugar Rush is an Emmy Award–winning British television comedy drama series developed by Shine Limited and broadcast by Channel 4, based on the Julie Burchill novel of the same name...
Stella and Nathan both experiment in the swinger lifestyle, ending in a visit to a club in BrightonBrightonBrighton is the major part of the city of Brighton and Hove in East Sussex, England on the south coast of Great Britain...
. - 2008 CBS series SwingtownSwingtownSwingtown was an American television series created by Mike Kelley as a summer replacement series for CBS. The show was a period and relationship drama about the impact of sexual and social liberation in 1970s American suburban households, with story arcs involving open marriages and key...
is a period piece which deals with social and sexual changes of the 1970s, including swinging. - In the Fox sitcom That '70s ShowThat '70s ShowThat '70s Show is an American television period sitcom that centers on the lives of a group of teenage friends living in the fictional suburban town of Point Place, Wisconsin, from May 17, 1976, to December 31, 1979...
, the episode "The Good Son" featured RedRed FormanReginald Albert "Red" Forman is a fictional character on the Fox sitcom That '70s Show, portrayed by Kurtwood Smith.-Biography and personality:Red is one of the classic archetypes of the "grumpy man"...
and KittyKitty FormanKatherine Anne "Kitty" Forman is a fictional character on the Fox Network's That '70s Show, portrayed by comic actress Debra Jo Rupp. Kitty is a nurse but sometimes takes a break from her career to make peace in the family. She also has a very recognizable laugh and a fondness for square dancing...
inadvertently attending a swingers' party. - Touch And Go, a 1998 BBC Two drama, focused on a young couple, played by Martin ClunesMartin ClunesAlexander Martin Clunes is an English actor and comedian. Clunes is perhaps best known for his roles as Gary Strang in Men Behaving Badly, Doctor Martin Ellingham in Doc Martin and the title character in Reggie Perrin....
and Zara TurnerZara Turner-Acting career:Turner appeared alongside Gwyneth Paltrow and John Hannah in the 1998 romantic drama film Sliding Doors and as Dr Angela Moloney again with John Hannah in the television series McCallum from 1995–1998....
visiting a swinging club in order to reinvigorate their marriage. - A 2000 episode of the series Yes, DearYes, DearYes, Dear is a television sitcom that aired from October 2, 2000, to February 15, 2006, on CBS. It starred Anthony Clark, Jean Louisa Kelly, Mike O'Malley and Liza Snyder....
("The Good Couple") featured two of the main characters, Greg and Kim, inadvertently becoming social with a swinging couple. - A 2011 episode of the series Law and Order: SVU features characters Elliot StablerElliot StablerDet. Elliot "El" Stabler is a fictional character on the TV crime drama series Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, portrayed by Christopher Meloni. He was the partner of Olivia Benson before retiring, following a shooting.-Character overview:...
and Olivia BensonOlivia BensonDet. Olivia "Liv" Benson is a fictional character on the NBC police procedural drama Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, portrayed by Mariska Hargitay. She is the former partner of Elliot Stabler. In Season 13, her partner will be Nick Amaro...
going undercover at a swinging club. - A 2011 episode of the series Body of ProofBody of ProofBody of Proof is an American medical drama television series created by Chris Murphey and produced by ABC Studios. Starring Dana Delany as medical examiner Dr. Megan Hunt, the series premiered on March 29, 2011 on ABC....
features character Dana Delaney investigating a homicide in a neighborhood in which all neighbors are in the Lifestyle.
See also
- Contact magazineContact magazineA contact magazine is a type of classified magazine that is largely or wholly dedicated to personal ads. As well as publishing the personal ads, the publishers of contact magazines often run an anonymous mail forwarding service that allows advertisers to identify themselves only with box...
- Cuckolding
- Fritz PetersonFritz PetersonFritz Fred Peterson is a former Major League Baseball player who played for the New York Yankees, Cleveland Indians, and Texas Rangers from 1966 to 1976...
- Gang bangGang bangA gang bang is a situation in which one person has sexual intercourse and performs other sex acts with a number of people, either in turn or at the same time. When the person has not consented to such activity, it is called gang rape or pack rape.A limited study by Joan and Dwight Dixon indicate...
- Group sexGroup sexGroup sex is sexual behavior involving more than two participants. Group sex can occur amongst people of all sexual orientations and genders...
- Human sexualityHuman sexualityHuman sexuality is the awareness of gender differences, and the capacity to have erotic experiences and responses. Human sexuality can also be described as the way someone is sexually attracted to another person whether it is to opposite sexes , to the same sex , to either sexes , or not being...
- Human sexual behaviorHuman sexual behaviorHuman sexual activities or human sexual practices or human sexual behavior refers to the manner in which humans experience and express their sexuality. People engage in a variety of sexual acts from time to time, and for a wide variety of reasons...
- List of sexology topics
- List of subcultures
- Ménage à troisMénage à troisMénage à trois is a French term which originally described a domestic arrangement in which three people having sexual relations occupy the same household – the phrase literally translates as "household of three"...
- PromiscuityPromiscuityIn humans, promiscuity refers to less discriminating casual sex with many sexual partners. The term carries a moral or religious judgement and is viewed in the context of the mainstream social ideal for sexual activity to take place within exclusive committed relationships...
- Sex clubSex clubSex clubs are either groups that organize sex related activities or an establishment where patrons can engage in sex acts with other patrons. A sex club differs from a brothel in that, while sex club patrons typically pay a fee to enter the club, they have sex with other patrons rather than with...
External links
- Related To Bigotry: The Repression of Swingers in Early 21st Century Britain (describes legal situation, and gives lengthy defense of swinging)
- 'Forever and a Day' or 'Just One Night'? On Adaptive Functions of Long-Term and Short-Term Romantic Relationships