The Ballad of Eskimo Nell (Roud

Roud Folk Song Index

The Roud Folk Song Index is a database of 300,000 references to over 21,600 songs that have been collected from oral tradition in the English language from all over the world...

 10124) is a bawdy rhymed recitation or song that recounts the tale of Deadeye Dick, his accomplice Mexican Pete and a woman they meet on their travels, named Eskimo Nell. In the view of some, Eskimo Nell is in her own way an authentic heroine and, by the yardstick of the sentiments of the poem, gets the better of Dick in the end. It is certainly true that Dick's manhood

Masculinity

Masculinity is possessing qualities or characteristics considered typical of or appropriate to a man. The term can be used to describe any human, animal or object that has the quality of being masculine...

 is belittled in the end by Nell. Nevertheless, some critics see the poem as an example of sex-hate

Misogyny

Misogyny is the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Philogyny, meaning fondness, love or admiration towards women, is the antonym of misogyny. The term misandry is the term for men that is parallel to misogyny...

 literature. The ballad makes frequent use of crude and (to some) offensive body-related terminology, with humorous consequences.

Traditional lyrics

There are multiple variations to the poem and some stanzas are left out of certain versions but the basic narrative structure remains constant. It details the adventures of the generously-endowed Deadeye Dick and his gunslinging sidekick, Mexican Pete. Fed up with their sex life at Dead Man's Creek, they travel to the Rio Grande

Rio Grande

The Rio Grande is a river that flows from southwestern Colorado in the United States to the Gulf of Mexico. Along the way it forms part of the Mexico – United States border. Its length varies as its course changes...

. There they visit a whore-house

Brothel

Brothels are business establishments where patrons can engage in sexual activities with prostitutes. Brothels are known under a variety of names, including bordello, cathouse, knocking shop, whorehouse, strumpet house, sporting house, house of ill repute, house of prostitution, and bawdy house...

, but before Dick has finished with two out of the 40 whores, they are confronted by Eskimo Nell. She is described as something of a sexual champion, and challenges Dick to satisfy her. Dick accepts but Nell's skill and power soon gets the better of him and he climaxes prematurely. Pete attempts to avenge his mate's affront by sticking his gun up Nell and firing all six rounds but all this achieves is to bring Nell to her own orgasm. Disappointed, Eskimo Nell chides the pair for their poor performance. She expresses nostalgia for her home in the frozen North, where the men apparently have better staying power. Dick and Pete return to Dead Man's Creek, their pride severely dented.

The opening lines (in one version) are:

Gather 'round, all ye whorey!

Gather 'round and hear my story!

When a man grows old, and his balls grow cold,

And the tip of his prick turns blue,

Far from a life of Yukon

Yukon

Yukon is the westernmost and smallest of Canada's three federal territories. It was named after the Yukon River. The word Yukon means "Great River" in Gwich’in....

 strife,

He can tell you a tale or two.

So pull up a seat, and buy me one neat

And a tale to you I will tell,

About Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete,

And a harlot named Eskimo Nell.

Other stanzas:

When Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete

Go forth in search of fun,

It's Dead-Eye Dick that swings the prick,

And Mexican Pete the gun.

When Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete

Are sore, depressed and sad,

It's always a cunt that bears the brunt,

But the shooting's not so bad

Now Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete

Lived down by Dead Man's Creek,

And such was their luck that they'd had no fuck

For nigh on half a week.

Oh, a moose or two, and a caribou,

And a bison cow or so,

But for Dead-Eye Dick with his kingly prick,

This fucking was mighty slow.

Dick pound on his cock with a huge piece of rock

And said, "I want to play!"

It's been almost a week at this fucking creek,

With no cunt coming my way.

So, do or dare, this horny pair

Set off for the Rio Grand.

Dead-Eye Dick with his kingly prick,

And Pete with his gun in hand.

Then as they blazed their noisy trail,

No man, their path withstood.

Many a bride, her husband's pride,

A pregnant widow stood.

The closing stanza mimics the opening:

When a man grows old, and his balls grow cold,

And the tip of his prick turns blue,

And the hole in the middle refuses to piddle,

I'd say he was fucked, wouldn't you?

Origin and history

This is a folk poem with no known author. It is in the style of Robert Service

Robert W. Service

Robert William Service was a poet and writer who has often been called "the Bard of the Yukon".Service is best known for his poems "The Shooting of Dan McGrew" and "The Cremation of Sam McGee", from his first book, Songs of a Sourdough...

 the writer best known for his writings of the Canadian North, in particular of his poem "The Shooting of Dan McGrew

The Shooting of Dan McGrew

"The Shooting of Dan McGrew" is a narrative poem by Robert W. Service, first published in The Songs of a Sourdough in 1907 in Canada.The tale takes place in a Yukon saloon during the Yukon Gold Rush of the late 1890s...

". As with all traditional poems/songs, there is variation to the texts. It appeared in bawdy song books compiled by university students in South Africa

South Africa

The Republic of South Africa is a country in southern Africa. Located at the southern tip of Africa, it is divided into nine provinces, with of coastline on the Atlantic and Indian oceans...

 in the 1940s, so it is at least sixty years old. Nell has been the subject of serious research and differences of interpretation have been recorded.

One tradition is that the poem was written by Noël Coward

Noël Coward

Sir Noël Peirce Coward was an English playwright, composer, director, actor and singer, known for his wit, flamboyance, and what Time magazine called "a sense of personal style, a combination of cheek and chic, pose and poise".Born in Teddington, a suburb of London, Coward attended a dance academy...

 in the style of Robert Service's Yukon ballads. This is recounted by John Masters

John Masters

Lieutenant Colonel John Masters, DSO was an English officer in the British Indian Army and novelist. His works are noted for their treatment of the British Empire in India.-Life:...

 in his historical novel "By the Green of the Spring". Masters recounts Coward's first performance of the poem in a Paris nightclub in August 1919. He includes four verses from the poem, which differ somewhat from those above.

Nell in print and record

The poem, owing to its bawdy nature, has generally been passed on by word of mouth or in manuscript from one generation to another. There are a few published versions.

Nell on the Web

At least four versions of Eskimo Nell can be found on the Web. Of these, the last claims to be based on five distinct versions and credits Mudcat Cafe

Mudcat Cafe

The Mudcat Café is an online discussion group and song and tune database, which also includes many other features relating to folk music.-History:...

.

Nell in popular culture

The poem was recited by Harold Shea in the novel The Incomplete Enchanter by L. Sprague de Camp

L. Sprague de Camp

Lyon Sprague de Camp was an American author of science fiction and fantasy books, non-fiction and biography. In a writing career spanning 60 years, he wrote over 100 books, including novels and notable works of non-fiction, including biographies of other important fantasy authors...

 and Fletcher Pratt, in response to a demand by Spenser's

Edmund Spenser

Edmund Spenser was an English poet best known for The Faerie Queene, an epic poem and fantastical allegory celebrating the Tudor dynasty and Elizabeth I. He is recognised as one of the premier craftsmen of Modern English verse in its infancy, and one of the greatest poets in the English...

 Blatant Beast for an epic poem. The Blatant Beast reacts only by slowly getting to its feet and lumbering off into the woods while shaking its head, and later admits to a third party that it has been told such an indecent poem that it is ashamed to repeat it - a unique experience for the terrible Beast.

The True Story of Eskimo Nell

The True Story of Eskimo Nell

The True Story of Eskimo Nell is a 1975 Australian comedy film produced, directed, and written by Richard Franklin, and starring Max Gillies as Deadeye Dick and Serge Lazareff as Mexico Pete...

is a 1975 film by Australian director Richard Franklin

Richard Franklin (director)

Richard Franklin was an Australian-born film director.-Early life and career:Franklin was born and grew up in Brighton, Melbourne and was educated at Haileybury College. In the 1960s, Franklin was the drummer in the Melbourne band The Pink Finks, which also featured Ross Wilson and Ross Hannaford,...

, in which two men, Deadeye Dick and Mexico Pete, go forth in search of the famed prostitute Eskimo Nell in the Australian Outback

Outback

The Outback is the vast, remote, arid area of Australia, term colloquially can refer to any lands outside the main urban areas. The term "the outback" is generally used to refer to locations that are comparatively more remote than those areas named "the bush".-Overview:The outback is home to a...

. Eskimo Nell

Eskimo Nell (film)

Eskimo Nell, a.k.a. The Ballad of Eskimo Nell a.k.a The Sexy Saga of Naughty Nell and Big Dick , is a 1975 British film directed by Martin Campbell and produced by Stanley Long...

is also the name of another 1975 movie from the UK directed by Martin Campbell

Martin Campbell

-Life and career:Campbell was born in Hastings, New Zealand. He directed two James Bond films, 1995's GoldenEye, starring Pierce Brosnan, and 2006's Casino Royale, starring Daniel Craig, and was the first Bond director since John Glen to direct more than one film, as well as the oldest director in...

 in which three men are enlisted by a producer to make an erotic film inspired by The Ballad of Eskimo Nell, "...the bawdiest ballad ever written", according to the film's tagline

Tagline

A tagline is a variant of a branding slogan typically used in marketing materials and advertising. The idea behind the concept is to create a memorable phrase that will sum up the tone and premise of a brand or product , or to reinforce the audience's memory of a product...

.

Reference to the song is also made in the novel The Rat and the Raven by Kerry Greenwood, as translated into Elvish by a pair of mischievous Rangers in the science fiction novel The Sunrise Lands by S. M. Stirling, and in Dream Park by Larry Niven and Steven Barnes.

Eskimo Nell is mentioned in the song "Please Don't Touch

Please Don't Touch (song)

Please Don't Touch is the debut single by English rock and roll group Johnny Kidd & The Pirates, released in 1959 reaching number 25 on the UK singles charts.-Personnel:*Johnny Kidd – vocals*Mike West, Tom Brown – backing vocals*Alan Caddy – lead guitar...

" by Johnny Kidd & The Pirates. The song has since been covered by Motörhead/Girlschool

Girlschool

Girlschool are a British heavy metal band originating out of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal scene in 1978 and frequently associated with contemporaries Motörhead. They are the longest running all-female rock band, still active after more than 30 years...

, Stray Cats

Stray Cats

Stray Cats are an American Rockabilly band formed in 1980 by guitarist/vocalist Brian Setzer , upright bassist Lee Rocker and Slim Jim Phantom in the Long Island town of Massapequa, New York. The group had numerous hit singles in the UK, Australia and the U.S...

, The Meteors

The Meteors

The Meteors are an English psychobilly band formed in 1980. Originally from London, England, they are often credited with giving the psychobilly subgenre—which fuses punk rock with rockabilly—its distinctive sound and style...

, Hellbillys

Hellbillys

Hellbillys is a psychobilly band from Oakland, California. The band formed in 1989 and on their MySpace page they claim to be "the longest running Psychobilly band in the states."....

, and Throw Rag

Throw Rag

Throw Rag is a four piece punk rock band from the Salton Sea, California. Formed in 1993, Throw Rag has been fronted by Sean Wheeler aka Captain Sean Doe aka Diamond Boss aka Sun Trash since the inception of the band...

.