Erotic humiliation
Encyclopedia
Erotic humiliation is the consensual
use of psychological humiliation
in a sexual context, whereby one person gains arousal or erotic excitement from the powerful emotions of being humiliated and demeaned, or of humiliating another; often (but not always) in conjunction with sexual stimulation of one or both partners in the activity. The humiliation need not be sexual in itself; as with many other sexual activities it is the feelings derived from it which are sought, regardless of the nature of the actual activity. It can be verbal or physical, and can be relatively private or public. Often it can become ritual
ized, and unlike some sexual variations it can also be easily carried out over a long distance or online
. The distinction between humiliation and dominance in an activity such as erotic spanking
is that the sought-after effect is primarily the humiliation; the activity is just a means to that end.
While fantasy and fascination with erotic humiliation is a prevalent part of BDSM
or other sexual roleplay, relatively little has been written on it. Humiliation play can however be taken to a point where it becomes emotionally or psychologically distressing to one or the other partner, especially if it is public humiliation
. Erotic humiliation can become extreme enough to be considered a form of edgeplay
, that some consider may best be approached with advance negotiation
and use of a safeword
. This is a highly subjective issue, and depends greatly on context.
, and the person who humiliates them is often called the top
, (though these are standard terms used in general dominant/submissive role play and are not specific to humiliation interests) or if female, sometimes humiliatrix. Other common names are slave or sub/submissive for the bottom, and Master/Mistress
or Dom/Domme for the top.
Humiliation is not the same as dominance
, as the devotee is not necessarily seeking to be ordered about. Humiliation comes into its own as a sexual force when the devotee seeks the humiliation over and above the means; for example, when being spanked is primarily valued because of the belittlement involved. As such, it encompasses a range of paraphilia
, in particular foot fetish
or shoe fetish, body worship
, spanking
, bondage
and most BDSM
styles. It can be as basic as the desire to kiss and massage feet as a precursor to sex, or it can be complex, involving roleplay or public displays of subservience. It can also be for a set period of time (a "scene
") or as an ongoing facet of a relationship. The "humiliation" is not intrinsic to the act or the object. Rather, it is semiotically charged by the shared attitude of the partners engaged in the act. It is they who invest specific acts, objects or body-parts with a humiliating aspect.
There are many scenarios which may be considered as giving rise to sexual humiliation
. Some scenarios may be based on verbal abuse
and others on physical aspects.
Verbal aspects might include:
Physical and tangible aspects might include:
Some sexual humiliation involves inflicting pain, but much of it is far more concerned with ridicule, mocking, degradation
, and embarrassment
.
Sexual roleplaying
may or may not involve humiliation. For example, one person might play the part of a dog
because they enjoy being mock-forced into it, and the top will emphasize the lowness of the bottom's status as an animal, whereas another person might play the role of the dog without any element of humiliation, simply as an expression of their inner animal or playful spirit.
and (paradoxically) a high degree of awareness and communication is needed to ensure that the result is desirable, rather than abusive. For example, a submissive may enjoy being insulted in some ways, but be genuinely crushed and devastated if humiliated or insulted in other ways.
Humiliation play is also connected to sexual fetishism, in that non-sexual activities may become sexualised by association with arousal, and also may be associated with exhibitionism
in the sense of wanting others to witness (or being aroused by others witnessing) one's sexual degradation.
For some people, activities such as name-calling are a way of achieving ego reduction
or getting over sexual inhibition
s. For example, between gay people, terms usually associated with homophobia
may be used, such as "faggot" or "dyke
."
As with all sexual activities, some people have sexual fantasies
about humiliation, and others actually undertake it as a lifestyle or in a scene
.
Sexual fantasies relating to mild humiliation are not uncommon. Some humiliation roleplay (pup-play and age play in particular) is combined with loyalty and care-giving to the extent that these fetishes can be seen as exercises in trust rather than primarily a humiliation fetish. Consider that the desire to be beneath the other partner during intercourse, the idea of "getting caught" such as with having sex in the garden or woods, or mild rape fantasies (where the person imagines themselves to be forced in a way they would like, and which must be seen as completely different to any real form of rape), are mild emotional games that emphasise status, vulnerability and control. However, for most people such ideas remain a fantasy and they would have strong reservations about it being made public, or engaged in with a partner for real, however erotic the idea may be.If a person does reveal their fetish to their partners, this usually is a result of a huge amount of trust invested in them, due to the similarly huge psychological struggle they would have had to have gone through to tell them.However, the desire to be humiliated may be a motivating cause for confession as the act of confessing would be humiliating. Many people have the worry of being ridiculed for their fetish, and such ridicule from their partners could be psychologically catastrophic. Therefore, many people use online humiliation (where the humiliator and others are involved via the internet
using chat, email, websites, etc.) as a compromise between exhibitionism and reality on the one hand, and safety and anonymity on the other.
Common methods of online humiliation include:
These practices can be conducted via chat, webcam
, e-mail, BDSM contact websites, or via the virtual world of Second Life.
Consent (BDSM)
Consent within BDSM is an issue that attracts much attention in the field. Practitioners' interests are in ensuring appropriate consent for personal, ethical, and legal reasons...
use of psychological humiliation
Humiliation
Humiliation is the abasement of pride, which creates mortification or leads to a state of being humbled or reduced to lowliness or submission. It can be brought about through bullying, intimidation, physical or mental mistreatment or trickery, or by embarrassment if a person is revealed to have...
in a sexual context, whereby one person gains arousal or erotic excitement from the powerful emotions of being humiliated and demeaned, or of humiliating another; often (but not always) in conjunction with sexual stimulation of one or both partners in the activity. The humiliation need not be sexual in itself; as with many other sexual activities it is the feelings derived from it which are sought, regardless of the nature of the actual activity. It can be verbal or physical, and can be relatively private or public. Often it can become ritual
Ritual
A ritual is a set of actions, performed mainly for their symbolic value. It may be prescribed by a religion or by the traditions of a community. The term usually excludes actions which are arbitrarily chosen by the performers....
ized, and unlike some sexual variations it can also be easily carried out over a long distance or online
ONLINE
ONLINE is a magazine for information systems first published in 1977. The publisher Online, Inc. was founded the year before. In May 2002, Information Today, Inc. acquired the assets of Online Inc....
. The distinction between humiliation and dominance in an activity such as erotic spanking
Erotic spanking
Erotic spanking is the act of spanking another person for the sexual arousal or gratification of either or both parties...
is that the sought-after effect is primarily the humiliation; the activity is just a means to that end.
While fantasy and fascination with erotic humiliation is a prevalent part of BDSM
BDSM
BDSM is an erotic preference and a form of sexual expression involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role-play. The compound acronym BDSM is derived from the terms bondage and discipline , dominance and submission , and sadism and masochism...
or other sexual roleplay, relatively little has been written on it. Humiliation play can however be taken to a point where it becomes emotionally or psychologically distressing to one or the other partner, especially if it is public humiliation
Public humiliation
Public humiliation was often used by local communities to punish minor and petty criminals before the age of large, modern prisons .- Shameful exposure :...
. Erotic humiliation can become extreme enough to be considered a form of edgeplay
Edgeplay
In BDSM, edgeplay is a subjective term for types of sexual play that are considered to be pushing on the edge of the traditional S.S.C. creed. They would be considered more R.A.C.K...
, that some consider may best be approached with advance negotiation
Negotiation (BDSM)
In the BDSM community, negotiation is a form of communication where participants make arrangements on each others' requirements, responsibilities, and limits to find the best possible agreement....
and use of a safeword
Safeword
A safeword is a code word or series of code words that are sometimes used in BDSM for a submissive to unambiguously communicate their physical or emotional state to a dominant , typically when approaching, or crossing, a physical, emotional, or moral boundary...
. This is a highly subjective issue, and depends greatly on context.
Terminology and overview
The person being humiliated is often called a bottomBottom (BDSM)
In BDSM, a bottom or submissive is the partner in a BDSM relationship or a BDSM scene who takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role, to that of the top or dominant....
, and the person who humiliates them is often called the top
Top (BDSM)
In BDSM, a top or dominant is the partner in a BDSM relationship or in a BDSM scene who takes the active or controlling role over that of the bottom or submissive partner....
, (though these are standard terms used in general dominant/submissive role play and are not specific to humiliation interests) or if female, sometimes humiliatrix. Other common names are slave or sub/submissive for the bottom, and Master/Mistress
Dominatrix
Dominatrix or mistress is a woman or women who takes the dominant role in bondage, discipline and sadomasochism, or BDSM. A common form of address for a submissive to a dominatrix is "mistress", "ma'am", "domina" or "maîtresse"...
or Dom/Domme for the top.
Humiliation is not the same as dominance
Domination and submission (BDSM)
Dominance and submission is a set of behaviors, customs and rituals involving the giving by one individual to another individual of control over them in an erotic episode or as a lifestyle....
, as the devotee is not necessarily seeking to be ordered about. Humiliation comes into its own as a sexual force when the devotee seeks the humiliation over and above the means; for example, when being spanked is primarily valued because of the belittlement involved. As such, it encompasses a range of paraphilia
Paraphilia
Paraphilia is a biomedical term used to describe sexual arousal to objects, situations, or individuals that are not part of normative stimulation and that may cause distress or serious problems for the paraphiliac or persons associated with him or her...
, in particular foot fetish
Foot Fetish
Foot Fetish is the first solo studio album by the Jackyl's lead singer, Jesse James Dupree.- Track listing :All songs written by Jesse James Dupree except where noted.# "Mainline" – 3:25 # "First Taste of Freedom" – 3:53...
or shoe fetish, body worship
Body worship
Body worship is any practice of physically reverencing a part of another person's body, and is usually done as a submissive act in the context of BDSM. Typical kinds of body worship are muscle worship, foot worship, penis worship, vagina worship, and ass worship...
, spanking
Spanking
Spanking refers to the act of striking the buttocks of another person to cause temporary pain without producing physical injury. It generally involves one person striking the buttocks of another person with an open hand. When an open hand is used, spanking is referred to in some countries as...
, bondage
Bondage (BDSM)
Bondage is the use of restraints for the sexual pleasure of the parties involved. It may be used in its own right, as in the case of rope bondage and breast bondage, or as part of sexual activity or BDSM activity.- Private bondage :...
and most BDSM
BDSM
BDSM is an erotic preference and a form of sexual expression involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role-play. The compound acronym BDSM is derived from the terms bondage and discipline , dominance and submission , and sadism and masochism...
styles. It can be as basic as the desire to kiss and massage feet as a precursor to sex, or it can be complex, involving roleplay or public displays of subservience. It can also be for a set period of time (a "scene
Scene (BDSM)
In BDSM, a scene is the stage or setting where BDSM activity takes place, as well as the activity itself. The place where a BDSM activity takes place is usually called a dungeon. A BDSM activity can but need not involve sexual activity or sexual roleplay. A scene will vary, depending on the wishes...
") or as an ongoing facet of a relationship. The "humiliation" is not intrinsic to the act or the object. Rather, it is semiotically charged by the shared attitude of the partners engaged in the act. It is they who invest specific acts, objects or body-parts with a humiliating aspect.
Means of humiliation
Humiliation
Humiliation is the abasement of pride, which creates mortification or leads to a state of being humbled or reduced to lowliness or submission. It can be brought about through bullying, intimidation, physical or mental mistreatment or trickery, or by embarrassment if a person is revealed to have...
. Some scenarios may be based on verbal abuse
Verbal abuse
Verbal abuse is best described as a negative defining statement told to you or about you; or by withholding any response thus defining the target as non-existant...
and others on physical aspects.
Verbal aspects might include:
- Reduction to Human animal roleplayHuman animal roleplayAnimal roleplay may be either a non-sexual or an erotic sexual role-play...
or human pet, referring to these individuals as pet, dog, girl, bitch, or making them eat and drink from pet food and water bowls. - Verbal belittlement, such as "slave", "boy", "girl", "missy", "pet".
- Insults and verbal abuseVerbal abuseVerbal abuse is best described as a negative defining statement told to you or about you; or by withholding any response thus defining the target as non-existant...
, such as "fat", "ugly", "stupid", "worthless". - Degrading references, such as "slut", "tart", "bitch", and "whore".
- Racial or ethnic slurs
- Slighting of body parts or behaviors, such as disparaging or cruel references to breasts, facial appearance, genitalia or genital size, bottom, and slighting of mannerisms such as walking, responsiveness, standard of self-care.
- Having to ask permission for everyday activities such as going to the toilet, spending money or eating.
- Small breasts humiliation, where scorn is addressed over the supposed inadequacy of the adult female's breasts, or her inability to please a lover, and her breasts become objects of derision.
- Small penisPenisThe penis is a biological feature of male animals including both vertebrates and invertebrates...
humiliation, where scorn is addressed over the supposed inadequacy of the adult male's genitals, or his inability to please a lover, and his penis becomes an object of derision. - Forced repetition, such as being obliged to repeat back commands to confirm them.
- Forced flatteryFlatteryFlattery is the act of giving excessive compliments, generally for the purpose of ingratiating oneself with the subject....
, such as agreeing that every decision that the dominant makes is wise, correct, and justifiable, while additionally praising the dominant's physical and personality traits. - MockeryMockeryMockery is an American film about the Russian Revolution. It was the second film made in Hollywood by Danish director Benjamin Christensen and starred Lon Chaney, Sr...
, derision, and ridiculeRidiculeRidicule is a 1996 French film set in the 18th century at the decadent court of Versailles, where social status can rise and fall based on one's ability to mete out witty insults and avoid ridicule oneself...
. - Being scolded like a child.
Physical and tangible aspects might include:
- EjaculatingFacial (sexuality)A facial is a term for the sexual activity in which a man ejaculates semen onto the face of one or more sexual partners. A facial is a form of non-penetrative sex, though it is generally performed after some other means of sexual stimulation, such as anal sex, intercourse, masturbation, or oral sex...
, spitting, or urinating on the bottom's body, especially the face. - Performance of menial tasks or abusive workload, such as cleaning the floors with a toothbrush.
- Frequent, mandatory performance of sexual services for the dominant, such as erotic massageErotic massageErotic massage or sensuous massage is the use of massage techniques to achieve or enhance sexual arousal. Massages have been used for medical purposes for a very long time. Its use for erotic purposes also has a long history. Today it is used by some couples on occasions as part of lovemaking,...
, cunnilingusCunnilingusCunnilingus is an oral sex act performed on a female. It involves the use by a sex partner of the mouth, lips and tongue to stimulate the female's clitoris, vulva, or vagina...
, analingus, or fellatioFellatioFellatio is an act of oral stimulation of a male's penis by a sexual partner. It involves the stimulation of the penis by the use of the mouth, tongue, or throat. The person who performs fellatio can be referred to as the giving partner, and the other person is the receiving partner...
, without expectations of reciprocal acts or intercourseIntercourseIntercourse may refer to:*Sexual intercourse*Interpersonal communication, any kind of human communication and/or interactionPlaces:*Intercourse, Alabama, USA*Intercourse, Pennsylvania, USABooks:*Intercourse , a 1987 book by Andrea Dworkin...
. - Detailed accountability and control (micro-management) as to time spent or activities done, including list of jobs to do, precise directions as to how the housework is to be performed, and exactly how to act and behave.
- Specific rituals and affectations to be adopted. This includes displays of subservience, such as lighting cigarettes, walking a pace behind the dominant, only speaking when spoken to, kneeling or prostratingProstrationProstration is the placement of the body in a reverentially or submissively prone position. Major world religions employ prostration either as a means of embodying reverence for a noble person, persons or doctrine, or as an act of submissiveness to a supreme being or beings...
in front of the dominant when expecting orders, eating only after others or on the floor, low status place to sleep, and a wide variety of body worshipBody worshipBody worship is any practice of physically reverencing a part of another person's body, and is usually done as a submissive act in the context of BDSM. Typical kinds of body worship are muscle worship, foot worship, penis worship, vagina worship, and ass worship...
activities such as kissing or licking the dominant's feet, boots, buttocksButtocksThe buttocks are two rounded portions of the anatomy, located on the posterior of the pelvic region of apes and humans, and many other bipeds or quadrupeds, and comprise a layer of fat superimposed on the gluteus maximus and gluteus medius muscles. Physiologically, the buttocks enable weight to...
, anusAnusThe anus is an opening at the opposite end of an animal's digestive tract from the mouth. Its function is to control the expulsion of feces, unwanted semi-solid matter produced during digestion, which, depending on the type of animal, may be one or more of: matter which the animal cannot digest,...
, vulvaVulvaThe vulva consists of the external genital organs of the female mammal. This article deals with the vulva of the human being, although the structures are similar for other mammals....
, etc. to express acknowledgment, subservience, shameShameShame is, variously, an affect, emotion, cognition, state, or condition. The roots of the word shame are thought to derive from an older word meaning to cover; as such, covering oneself, literally or figuratively, is a natural expression of shame....
, or even positive emotions such as happiness or excitement. - Suppressed freedom of movementFreedom of movementFreedom of movement, mobility rights or the right to travel is a human right concept that the constitutions of numerous states respect...
and/or privacy. This may include never being able to leave the room in which the dominant is present without permission, having the dominant watch while the slave or submissive uses the toilet, being forbidden to leave the house or 'dungeon' in general for the duration of slavery or servitude, etc. - Detailed punishments for a variety of 'infractions' or misbehavior, such as having to stand in a corner facing a wall for several hours, flogging or whipping, reduced rations, or forced exercise.
- Roleplaying "lower status" beings, such as animals (for example dog or horse) or babies/children (see human animal roleplayHuman animal roleplayAnimal roleplay may be either a non-sexual or an erotic sexual role-play...
, pup-play, and adult baby play). - Spanking, slapping, whipping, restraint or other BDSM activities such as cock and ball tortureCock and ball tortureCock and ball torture is a sexual activity involving torture of the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking.The recipient of...
(CBT). - Prohibitions or restrictions on clothing, even in public. For females a common example is being mandated to only wear revealing bikinis or lingerie. For men, a particularly powerful sense of humiliation may be achieved through forced feminizingFeminization (activity)Feminization is used to describe the practice, especially in female dominance, of switching the gender role of a male submissive. It is usually achieved through cross-dressing, where the male is dressed in female attire, ranging from just wearing female undergarments to being fully dressed in very...
or cross-dressingCross-dressingCross-dressing is the wearing of clothing and other accoutrement commonly associated with a gender within a particular society that is seen as different than the one usually presented by the dresser...
. Both sexes may be expected to go completely nudeNudityNudity is the state of wearing no clothing. The wearing of clothing is exclusively a human characteristic. The amount of clothing worn depends on functional considerations and social considerations...
, with decorative objects such as collars, diapers, bands, tiaras, or cuffs being the only exceptions. - Use of chastity beltChastity beltA chastity belt is a locking item of clothing designed to prevent sexual intercourse. They may be used to protect the wearer from rape or temptation. Some devices have been designed with additional features to prevent masturbation...
s or other means of erotic sexual denialErotic sexual denialErotic sexual denial, also known as orgasm denial, is a sexual practice in which a heightened state of sexual arousal is maintained for an extended length of time without orgasm, and is commonly practiced in association with BDSM and sexual bondage. Erotic sexual denial can be another name for or...
. - Wearing of external signs of "ownership", such as a collar.
- Having friends, family or strangers aware of or witnessing one's treatment (i.e., public humiliationPublic humiliationPublic humiliation was often used by local communities to punish minor and petty criminals before the age of large, modern prisons .- Shameful exposure :...
). - Erotic objectification, where the bottom is cast in the role of an object, such as a footstool.
- EmbarrassmentEmbarrassmentEmbarrassment is an emotional state of intense discomfort with oneself, experienced upon having a socially unacceptable act or condition witnessed by or revealed to others. Usually some amount of loss of honour or dignity is involved, but how much and the type depends on the embarrassing situation...
. - Male forced anal penetration using dildos, anal plugs, or similar objects.
- Cuckoldry, taking on a third party lover to humiliate the bottom as an expression of the relationship between the top and the bottom. In this scenario, the bottom typically is allowed only to witness, and not invited or permitted to participate.
- Having to ask permission to orgasmOrgasmOrgasm is the peak of the plateau phase of the sexual response cycle, characterized by an intense sensation of pleasure...
during sexSexIn biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety . Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents...
or masturbationMasturbationMasturbation refers to sexual stimulation of a person's own genitals, usually to the point of orgasm. The stimulation can be performed manually, by use of objects or tools, or by some combination of these methods. Masturbation is a common form of autoeroticism...
. - Forced to wear a gag or restraints on the body.
- Financial domination, where usually a submissive (or money slave) will give gifts and money to a dominant. The relation may often be accompanied by other practices of BDSM, but there may be virtually no further intimacy between the individuals.
- Forced masturbationMasturbationMasturbation refers to sexual stimulation of a person's own genitals, usually to the point of orgasm. The stimulation can be performed manually, by use of objects or tools, or by some combination of these methods. Masturbation is a common form of autoeroticism...
in a humiliating manner. - Feelings of humiliation are key to many of those engaged in klismaphiliaKlismaphiliaThe term Klismaphilia refers to the receiving of sexual arousal from introducing liquids into the rectum and colon via the anus. This paraphilia often involves the use of enemas. The term klismaphilia was coined in 1973 by Dr...
. - Feederism
Some sexual humiliation involves inflicting pain, but much of it is far more concerned with ridicule, mocking, degradation
Degradation
Degradation may refer to;* Biodegradation, the processes by which organic substances are broken down by living organisms* Cashiering or degradation ceremony, a ritual performed when cleric is deprived of office or a knight is stripped of the honour...
, and embarrassment
Embarrassment
Embarrassment is an emotional state of intense discomfort with oneself, experienced upon having a socially unacceptable act or condition witnessed by or revealed to others. Usually some amount of loss of honour or dignity is involved, but how much and the type depends on the embarrassing situation...
.
Sexual roleplaying
Sexual roleplaying
Sexual roleplay is an erotic form of roleplay: it is a sexual behavior where two or more people act out roles in a sexual fantasy. How seriously this is taken depends on the people involved, and the scenario may be anywhere from simple and makeshift to detailed and elaborate, complete with...
may or may not involve humiliation. For example, one person might play the part of a dog
Human animal roleplay
Animal roleplay may be either a non-sexual or an erotic sexual role-play...
because they enjoy being mock-forced into it, and the top will emphasize the lowness of the bottom's status as an animal, whereas another person might play the role of the dog without any element of humiliation, simply as an expression of their inner animal or playful spirit.
Psychology of humiliation
Humiliation in general stimulates the same brain regions that are associated with physical pain, the inference being that humans evolved to remember social rewards and punishments as strongly as other animals recall physical reward or pain in response to their environment. As with any form of pain experimentation in a sexual context, consentConsent (BDSM)
Consent within BDSM is an issue that attracts much attention in the field. Practitioners' interests are in ensuring appropriate consent for personal, ethical, and legal reasons...
and (paradoxically) a high degree of awareness and communication is needed to ensure that the result is desirable, rather than abusive. For example, a submissive may enjoy being insulted in some ways, but be genuinely crushed and devastated if humiliated or insulted in other ways.
Humiliation play is also connected to sexual fetishism, in that non-sexual activities may become sexualised by association with arousal, and also may be associated with exhibitionism
Exhibitionism
Exhibitionism refers to a desire or compulsion to expose parts of one's body – specifically the genitals or buttocks of a man or woman, or the breasts of a woman – in a public or semi-public circumstance, in crowds or groups of friends or acquaintances, or to strangers...
in the sense of wanting others to witness (or being aroused by others witnessing) one's sexual degradation.
For some people, activities such as name-calling are a way of achieving ego reduction
Ego reduction
The concept of ego reduction occurs in several contexts. The term is predicated on the use of Sigmund Freud's concept of the ego to describe the conscious adult self.Ego reduction has been used* as a goal in Alcoholics Anonymous...
or getting over sexual inhibition
Sexual inhibition
A sexual inhibition is a conscious or unconscious constraint or curtailment by a person of behaviour relating to specific sexual matters or practices or of a discussion of sexual matters....
s. For example, between gay people, terms usually associated with homophobia
Homophobia
Homophobia is a term used to refer to a range of negative attitudes and feelings towards lesbian, gay and in some cases bisexual, transgender people and behavior, although these are usually covered under other terms such as biphobia and transphobia. Definitions refer to irrational fear, with the...
may be used, such as "faggot" or "dyke
Dyke (slang)
Dyke is slang terminology referring to a lesbian or lesbianism. It originated as a derogatory label for a masculine woman, and this usage still exists. However, some attempt to use it in a manner they see as positive, or simply as a neutral synonym for lesbian...
."
As with all sexual activities, some people have sexual fantasies
Sexual fantasy
A sexual fantasy, also called an erotic fantasy, is a fantasy or pattern of thoughts with the effect of creating or enhancing sexual feelings; in short, it is "almost any mental imagery that is sexually arousing or erotic to [an] individual"...
about humiliation, and others actually undertake it as a lifestyle or in a scene
Scene (BDSM)
In BDSM, a scene is the stage or setting where BDSM activity takes place, as well as the activity itself. The place where a BDSM activity takes place is usually called a dungeon. A BDSM activity can but need not involve sexual activity or sexual roleplay. A scene will vary, depending on the wishes...
.
Sexual fantasies relating to mild humiliation are not uncommon. Some humiliation roleplay (pup-play and age play in particular) is combined with loyalty and care-giving to the extent that these fetishes can be seen as exercises in trust rather than primarily a humiliation fetish. Consider that the desire to be beneath the other partner during intercourse, the idea of "getting caught" such as with having sex in the garden or woods, or mild rape fantasies (where the person imagines themselves to be forced in a way they would like, and which must be seen as completely different to any real form of rape), are mild emotional games that emphasise status, vulnerability and control. However, for most people such ideas remain a fantasy and they would have strong reservations about it being made public, or engaged in with a partner for real, however erotic the idea may be.If a person does reveal their fetish to their partners, this usually is a result of a huge amount of trust invested in them, due to the similarly huge psychological struggle they would have had to have gone through to tell them.However, the desire to be humiliated may be a motivating cause for confession as the act of confessing would be humiliating. Many people have the worry of being ridiculed for their fetish, and such ridicule from their partners could be psychologically catastrophic. Therefore, many people use online humiliation (where the humiliator and others are involved via the internet
Internet
The Internet is a global system of interconnected computer networks that use the standard Internet protocol suite to serve billions of users worldwide...
using chat, email, websites, etc.) as a compromise between exhibitionism and reality on the one hand, and safety and anonymity on the other.
Online humiliation
Online humiliation is the desire to be seen in a sexually embarrassing context via the internet. This practice allows the submissive to seek fetish partners from across the world.Common methods of online humiliation include:
- Public pilloryPilloryThe pillory was a device made of a wooden or metal framework erected on a post, with holes for securing the head and hands, formerly used for punishment by public humiliation and often further physical abuse, sometimes lethal...
- Embarrassing photographic or video assignments for submissives - submissive must humiliate themselves on camera, etc.
- The requirement for submissives to keep online journals, detailing personal information such as masturbation frequency and details
- Verbal abuse
- Publicly bidding for items that reveal their fetishes
- Money slavery - submissive must buy dominant gifts, pay for bills, or pay taxes
- Homework slavery - submissive must do the dominant's homework, or occupational work
- Repetitive assignments such as copying the phone book, etc.
These practices can be conducted via chat, webcam
Webcam
A webcam is a video camera that feeds its images in real time to a computer or computer network, often via USB, ethernet, or Wi-Fi.Their most popular use is the establishment of video links, permitting computers to act as videophones or videoconference stations. This common use as a video camera...
, e-mail, BDSM contact websites, or via the virtual world of Second Life.
See also
- BDSMBDSMBDSM is an erotic preference and a form of sexual expression involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role-play. The compound acronym BDSM is derived from the terms bondage and discipline , dominance and submission , and sadism and masochism...
- Bukkake
- Erotic hypnosis
- Erotic sexual denialErotic sexual denialErotic sexual denial, also known as orgasm denial, is a sexual practice in which a heightened state of sexual arousal is maintained for an extended length of time without orgasm, and is commonly practiced in association with BDSM and sexual bondage. Erotic sexual denial can be another name for or...
- Femdom
- Maledom
- OmorashiOmorashiis a fetish subculture recognized predominantly in Japan, in which participants experience arousal from having a full bladder or a sexual attraction to someone else experiencing the feeling of a full urinary bladder. Outside of Japan, it is not usually identified separately from urolagnia , though...
- Sexual fetishismSexual fetishismSexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a specific situation. The object or situation of interest is called the fetish, the person a fetishist who has a fetish for that object/situation. Sexual fetishism may be regarded, e.g...
- Strip search prank call scamStrip Search Prank Call ScamThe McDonald's strip search scam was a series of incidents occurring for roughly a decade before an arrest was made in 2004. These incidents involved a man calling a restaurant or grocery store, claiming to be a police detective, and convincing managers to conduct strip searches of female...
, an incident where erotic humiliation has been raised as a legal defense to a civil lawsuit
External links
- Tomatoes Can Be Torture (also see Part Two and Part Three)