Recurring segments on The Colbert Report
Encyclopedia
In addition to its standard interviews, The Colbert Report features many recurring segments that cover a variety of topics. The following is a list of those segments, both past and present.
heaps praise on one specific news maker from the previous week for, as Colbert himself puts it, being "such an imposing presence that people automatically fall in place behind you, deferentially sniffing your butt." The irony of the segment comes from the fact that the honoree has typically fallen from grace as a result of the supposed alpha behavior Colbert is celebrating.
to mean that Jewish people should apologize specifically to him, and introduces a hotline (1-888-OOPS-JEW) that Jews can call to apologize for anything that they may have done to "wrong" Stephen. The phone occasionally rings during the show, with an old style bell ringer that rings to the tune of Hava Nagila
. The segment is reintroduced every season during the High Holidays, and each subsequent season it is revealed that the number to call has to be shared with another hotline that shares the same number, first 1-888-MOPS-KEY and later 1-888-MOSS-LEW., 1-888-MOS-PLEX, and 1-888-NORS-LEZ.
from specific districts, hoping to fill all 434 spaces on his map. (The missing 435th district is California's 50th, which was declared dead to Stephen in 2005 following the Duke Cunningham
scandal
, because it had "let Duke down." On Ash Wednesday in 2006, its status was changed to "never existed to me," making it the only item in that category.) The segment features Colbert first giving a short history lesson on the district, then interviewing the representative and asking them "loaded" questions.
that was awarded to him
by Knox College.
The introduction graphic to this segment is a reference to the chess game with death in Ingmar Bergman
's film
, with Colbert wearing scrubs as he uses trickery to literally cheat Death and win. Colbert usually then prefaces each segment by noting that he is not a medical doctor, but rather a Doctor of Fine Arts, followed by a joke about what he is allowed to do (example: delivering babies through Georgia O'Keeffe
paintings). The segment usually features accounts of actual medical and health news, including recent breakthroughs and announcements of the type found on other medical and health segments which then segue into plugs for the (fictional) sponsor, "Prescott Pharmaceuticals", and their highly dubious "Vaxa" product line. This health advice is generally dangerous or unhelpful, and has comedic side effects such as "Skeletal Xylophoning", or "REO Speedlung
". The segment always ends with Stephen Colbert saying, "I'll see you in health!," a play on the phrase, "I'll see you in hell!"
On the April 25, 2011 episode, Colbert renamed his product line "Vacsa", after he received a cease-and-desist letter from a company whose line of homeopathic products is actually called Växa. He insisted that any similarities between the two names was purely "axidental".
. It profiles expensive and high-profile items, like personal submarines and $750,000 pens
, which only the "super rich" could afford. In the introduction, Colbert reminds viewers that the segment is for billionaires "only", instructing "poor" millionaire viewers to change the channel. On October 20, 2008, Colbert Platinum was spun off as Colbert Aluminum, due to the economic crisis of 2008. Its focus was the formerly wealthy, Colbert telling viewers not to watch "if you haven't had a yacht repossessed in the last six months". As of August 20, 2009, Colbert announced that the recession was over and that Colbert Platinum had been reinstated.
ended with the dissolution of the Soviet Union
in 1991. The segment covers news from former Soviet Bloc countries, such as Cuba
, North Korea
, Russia
, China
, and Yugoslavia
.
' s "The Most Ridiculous Item of the Day". Variants include "The Most Poetic F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard".
's The Da Vinci Code
, "The DaColbert Code" is an occasional segment in which Colbert uses his mysterious code (actually an elaborate word association game) to uncover past and future events. This typically leads Colbert to form absurd conclusions, such as that Mike Myers
was responsible for the Hurricane Katrina
debacle — although in 2006 and 2009 he used the DaColbert Code to accurately predict the five top Oscar winners
and shortly before the 2008 elections, the code repeatedly said that Barack Obama
would be the next US president. The segment uses Leonardo Da Vinci
's Mona Lisa
as its opening graphic, with Colbert's face edited in. On every occasion, he illustrates how it works by giving a test of it by predicting who killed John F. Kennedy
, which at each time had led to a different suspect, including Jacqueline
, Johnson
, Nixon
, and Kennedy himself.
's competing bids for the presidential nomination. The title is a portmanteau, combining the title of left-leaning syndicated news program Democracy Now!
with that of the film Apocalypse Now
. (The opening sequence alludes to the film with the song "Ride of the Valkyries
" and a cutout of John McCain
's head quoting the film's famous line "The horror ... the horror!")
human interest
segment "Making A Difference".
position, while the other will take a more characteristic ultra-conservative view. The conservative Colbert will almost always win, generally posing an extremely unlikely hypothetical situation (either concerning special circumstances or hypothetical fallout), and using that for his justifications.
To date, the only time the 'liberal' Colbert has won was on the episode airing on November 4, 2009. In this episode, the 'liberal' Colbert called on Al Gore
to help him argue (who was there in person.) The ultra-conservative Colbert then called his own version of Al Gore (also played by the real Al Gore.) However, unlike the two debating Stephens, "both" Al Gores were of the same opinion, and convinced the conservative Colbert that they were right.
Fact
s), to Friddles (Freedom Riddle
s), Franagrams (Freedom Anagram
s) and Frnaps (Freedom Snaps). Drinking game
s and Freedom Trivia were also offered. The messages displayed were typically reflective of Colbert's exaggerated patriotism and inflated ego, for instance, "Did you know… In 1983, Stephen legally changed his middle name to 'Gettysburg Address'." They were discontinued soon after the commencement of the show's second season; the last Freedom Trivia message appeared in the January 26, 2006 episode of the Report.
" in Wisconsin. It has recurred occasionally, featuring stories of escaped monkeys, but mostly revolving around Colbert's disappointment upon the discovery that whatever story is being profiled has been resolved and will not need follow up, giving him no excuse to use the graphic featuring a monkey riding a lamb and firing a gun. A "Lobster Edition" of the segment was also featured, using the same graphic.
and Pride and Prejudice), then praises a movie that conservatives have found objectionable (such as Brokeback Mountain
). The segment has featured an "Awards Edition," a "Christmas Edition," and a "Summer Blockbuster Edition."
series, signed by Colbert himself.
star Sam Waterston
, who, as the title suggests, says things you should never believe in a trustworthy manner—things such as, "I'm from the future. Come with me if you want to live.
" It was introduced in January 2008 to illustrate the perils of relying on the "folksy" charms of then-presidential candidate and Law & Order costar Fred Thompson, who, to the distress of Colbert, was frequently hailed as a "Reagan figure
" by the press. The segment ran three times (although Colbert claimed that he has proven the case "dozens of times"), and was discontinued after Thompson withdrew from his campaign for the presidency.
. This segment was originally titled "Arc! Who goes there?"
, Bears and Balls features an over-sized red button that, when pressed, bleats out simplistic answers (frequently "Bees!") to finance-related questions, although Colbert will sometimes have to press it several times (each time emitting irrelevant and often comedic answers) before eliciting a response relevant to the question. The button occasionally gives an answer before Colbert even presses it.
, bobsledding, curling
, and speed skating
were all profiled. Luge
was passed upon, due to it being considered the "gayest sport". The final segment featured the race between Colbert and olympic skater Shani Davis
. Which was issued after Davis called Colbert "a jerk" for slamming Canada for not allowing the US speedskating team to practice in their arena.
' s sports recap. The introduction and graphics are reminiscent of ESPN
's SportsCenter
. The introduction music is Skulls and Snakes by Zack Tempest of Xtreme Music. It was essentially created to cover the Saginaw Spirit
, an Ontario Hockey League
junior ice hockey
team whose secondary mascot, Steagle Colbeagle, was named after Colbert. The Spirit was the driving force of the segment at its inception, with Colbert recapping games, trash-talking upcoming opponents and advising the team's coach, but has since become a segment for more generalized sports and sport related stories, once taking up an entire show on its own during the writer's strike.
, by which Colbert portrays him in a light that suggests that he is a jerk.
.
the number one threat to America for failing to credit him with the coining of the word "truthiness
". Variations on this segment have included a GreatDown, which Colbert listed the five greatest things in America; a Mini ThreatDown that featured a single "threat number .5", which Colbert had neglected to mention in the previous night's ThreatDown; a ShredDown, the title given to the guitar solo competition between Colbert and Chris Funk; a Threat StandDown, the antithesis of the ThreatDown, in which viewers are told to stop being afraid; and a number of themed ThreatDowns, including an all animal, science and technology, and most frequent threats editions.
The Xbox Live Arcade game Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3 Commander's Challenge has an achievement referencing the ThreatDown. You have to destroy all the bears in the level 'Number One Threat to America'
", only to immediately turn around and condemn them with a "Wag of the Finger
", sometimes for the same reason. In one such instance, Colbert lavished approval on then-Prime Minister of Australia
John Howard
for his criticism of Barack Obama
, expressing agreement with the remarks, before showering Howard with abuse for daring to speak ill of an American citizen. He also has tipped his hat to Roe v. Wade, the abortion case, because he wants to be able to "Roe" across a lake in a boat, not "Wade" across and ruin his jacket.
from around the world
.
's Today Show segment Where in the World is Matt Lauer?
and Colbert's announcement that he would take his show to the Persian Gulf
for a week of shows. The segment profiles a random region in the Persian Gulf using the Press Your Luck
board. On the May 6, 2009 airing, Colbert changed the title to Where in the When and Who in How is Stephen Someone Going to be in the Something Where? per Pentagon's request, as it was stated that the segment's theme song gave out too much information about the location of where the show would be taping.
On June 8, 2009, The Colbert Report aired from the Al-Faw Palace (Also known as the Water Palace), at Camp Victory, Baghdad, Iraq. He interviewed Gen. Raymond T. Odierno
. Senator John McCain
and President Barack Obama
made special appearances, as did Presidents Bill Clinton
and George H.W. Bush on day two.
See: Operation Iraqi Stephen: Going Commando 2009 Visit to Baghdad, Iraq for further information.
* ordered by the episode date in which the word/phrase first appeared or the date of its only appearance
segment Talking Points Memo and can also be likened to Mark Hyman's The Point conservative commentaries for Sinclair Broadcasting Group's former News Central
concept. The Wørd is the longest running segment on the Colbert Report, having been a feature since the first episode on October 17, 2005. The first "The Wørd" was the originator of the now famous word/concept Truthiness
.
As Colbert himself explains it:
In the episode aired on April 17, 2008, former Democratic
presidential
candidate John Edwards
appeared on The Report and performed his own variation of The Wørd, called EdWørds.
On April 22, 2010, while attacking William Gheen for accusing Stephen's home state's senator Lindsey Graham
of being a homosexual, Stephen introduced a BonusWørd.
injury, Colbert took up wrist injuries in general as a "pet cause" debuting Wrist Watch on July 31. The segment purports to expose "Hollywood's 'glamorization' of wrist
violence." Generally the segment shows scenes from television and film featuring someone either hurting their arm or wrist in some way or having it removed. Colbert also wore and marketed "Wriststrong" gel bracelet
s, a parody of Lance Armstrong's Livestrong wristband
s. The cast that he wore afterwards was removed on the show on August 23, 2007.
(Yahweh) or run contrary to what he thinks would be God's will (No Way). One example was the news story stating that Mormons may have baptized President Barack Obama
's relatives. Colbert labeled this "No Way", explaining that Mormons are teetotalers and Obama uses even the flimsiest excuse to have a beer. Another was the story of Dinosaur Adventureland, a Creationist dinosaur theme park whose owner claimed that he was not required to pay the $600,000 in payroll taxes he owed to the IRS because he was employed by God. Colbert labeled this "Yahweh", and then said that God should not be imagined as He was by Hollywood films such as King of Kings, but more like Mr. Six
of the Six Flags
television commercials. He also claimed that the manna that fell in the desert
was funnel cake
. Rarely, Colbert used a "Middle Way' or 'Maybewey, because he was unsure if an event was in "Yahweh or "No Way" territory.
Alpha Dog of the Week
Alpha Dog of the Week is a segment in which ColbertStephen Colbert (character)
The Reverend / Sir / Dr. / Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A., brain-child of Google, is the persona of political satirist Stephen Colbert, as portrayed on Comedy Central's The Colbert Report. Described as a "well-intentioned, poorly informed high-status idiot", the character is a self-obsessed right-wing...
heaps praise on one specific news maker from the previous week for, as Colbert himself puts it, being "such an imposing presence that people automatically fall in place behind you, deferentially sniffing your butt." The irony of the segment comes from the fact that the honoree has typically fallen from grace as a result of the supposed alpha behavior Colbert is celebrating.
Atone Phone
The Atone Phone was introduced in the 2007 season during the Jewish High Holidays. Stephen interprets the Ten Days of RepentanceTen Days of Repentance
The Ten Days of Repentance are the first ten days of the Hebrew month of Tishrei, usually sometime in the month of September, beginning with the Jewish holiday of Rosh Hashanah and ending with the conclusion of Yom Kippur.-Introduction:...
to mean that Jewish people should apologize specifically to him, and introduces a hotline (1-888-OOPS-JEW) that Jews can call to apologize for anything that they may have done to "wrong" Stephen. The phone occasionally rings during the show, with an old style bell ringer that rings to the tune of Hava Nagila
Hava Nagila
"Hava Nagila" is a Hebrew folk song that has become a staple of band performers at Jewish weddings and Bar/Bat Mitzvahs.-History:...
. The segment is reintroduced every season during the High Holidays, and each subsequent season it is revealed that the number to call has to be shared with another hotline that shares the same number, first 1-888-MOPS-KEY and later 1-888-MOSS-LEW., 1-888-MOS-PLEX, and 1-888-NORS-LEZ.
Better Know a District
Better Know a District is a recurring segment where Colbert interviews members of CongressUnited States House of Representatives
The United States House of Representatives is one of the two Houses of the United States Congress, the bicameral legislature which also includes the Senate.The composition and powers of the House are established in Article One of the Constitution...
from specific districts, hoping to fill all 434 spaces on his map. (The missing 435th district is California's 50th, which was declared dead to Stephen in 2005 following the Duke Cunningham
Duke Cunningham
Randall Harold Cunningham , usually known as Randy or Duke, is United States Navy veteran, convicted felon, and former Republican member of the United States House of Representatives from California's 50th Congressional District from 1991 to 2005.Cunningham resigned from the House on November 28,...
scandal
Cunningham Scandal
The Cunningham scandal is a U.S. political scandal in which defense contractors paid bribes to members of Congress and officials in the U.S. Defense Department, in return for political favors in the form of federal contracts. Most notable amongst the recipients of the bribes was California...
, because it had "let Duke down." On Ash Wednesday in 2006, its status was changed to "never existed to me," making it the only item in that category.) The segment features Colbert first giving a short history lesson on the district, then interviewing the representative and asking them "loaded" questions.
Spinoffs
- Better Know a Challenger, a segment during the 2006 Congressional ElectionsUnited States House elections, 2006- House of Representatives prior to the election :As of November 7, 2006, the U.S. House of the 109th Congress was composed of 229 Republicans, 201 Democrats and 1 Independent . There were also four vacancies...
where Colbert interviewed challengers because the incumbent declined to appear on his show. - Better Know a Protectorate, a 4-part series focusing on the protectorateProtectorateIn history, the term protectorate has two different meanings. In its earliest inception, which has been adopted by modern international law, it is an autonomous territory that is protected diplomatically or militarily against third parties by a stronger state or entity...
s of the United States. - Better Know a Founder, a 56-part series focusing on the signers of the United States Declaration of IndependenceUnited States Declaration of IndependenceThe Declaration of Independence was a statement adopted by the Continental Congress on July 4, 1776, which announced that the thirteen American colonies then at war with Great Britain regarded themselves as independent states, and no longer a part of the British Empire. John Adams put forth a...
. - Better Know a President, a 43-part series where Colbert interviews former Presidents by speaking to impersonatorImpersonatorAn impersonator is someone who imitates or copies the behavior or actions of another. There are many reasons for someone to be an impersonator, some common ones being as follows:...
s. - Meet an Ally, a series focusing on the nations in the Coalition of the WillingMultinational force in IraqThe Multi-National Force – Iraq was a military command, led by the United States, which was responsible for Operation Iraqi Freedom. Multi-National Force – Iraq replaced the previous force, Combined Joint Task Force 7, on 15 May 2004, and was later itself reorganized into its successor, United...
. - Betterer Know a District, features extended versions of previously shown interviews.
- Better Know a Memory, a "recap" of sorts following the 2006 elections, showing "better known" representatives that had been returned to Congress.
- Better Know a Presidential Candidate Who'll Talk to Me, an indefinite series featuring interviews with presidential candidates from the 2008 presidential election. To date, only Republicans Mike HuckabeeMike HuckabeeMichael "Mike" Dale Huckabee is an American politician who served as the 44th Governor of Arkansas from 1996 to 2007. He was a candidate in the 2008 United States Republican presidential primaries, finishing second in delegate count and third in both popular vote and number of states won . He won...
(who asked Colbert to be his running mate) and Ron PaulRon PaulRonald Ernest "Ron" Paul is an American physician, author and United States Congressman who is seeking to be the Republican Party candidate in the 2012 presidential election. Paul represents Texas's 14th congressional district, which covers an area south and southwest of Houston that includes...
have appeared for such interviews, although Hillary Clinton, Barack ObamaBarack ObamaBarack Hussein Obama II is the 44th and current President of the United States. He is the first African American to hold the office. Obama previously served as a United States Senator from Illinois, from January 2005 until he resigned following his victory in the 2008 presidential election.Born in...
, and John EdwardsJohn EdwardsJohnny Reid "John" Edwards is an American politician, who served as a U.S. Senator from North Carolina. He was the Democratic nominee for Vice President in 2004, and was a candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2004 and 2008.He defeated incumbent Republican Lauch Faircloth in...
have all made appearances on the Report. - Better Know a Governor, a series focusing on state governors (starting with Mark SanfordMark SanfordMarshall Clement "Mark" Sanford Jr. is an American politician from South Carolina, who was the 115th Governor of South Carolina from 2003 to 2011....
) - Better Know a Lobby, a 35,000-part (originally infinite-part) series, introduced on the February 6, 2008 episode, focusing on lobbyists that work on Capitol Hill.
- Better Know a Beatle, a 4-part series focusing on the members of The BeatlesThe BeatlesThe Beatles were an English rock band, active throughout the 1960s and one of the most commercially successful and critically acclaimed acts in the history of popular music. Formed in Liverpool, by 1962 the group consisted of John Lennon , Paul McCartney , George Harrison and Ringo Starr...
. - Better Know a Cradle of Civilization, a 1-part series about the history of Iraq shown during Operation Iraqi Stephen.
- Better Know a Made Up District, a [unintelligible] part series about made up districts; a reference to inaccurate submissions to the United States government's website that tracks the spending of stimulus money, by business people who made up congressional districts.
- Better Know a Stephen, a segment introduced December 16, 2009 in which Colbert interviews other prominent men named Stephen (specifically spelled with a "ph").
- Better Know an Enemy, a series focusing on the terrorist enemies.
- Better Know a Riding, a 1-part segment focusing on the Canadian Electoral DistrictElectoral district (Canada)An electoral district in Canada, also known as a constituency or a riding, is a geographical constituency upon which Canada's representative democracy is based...
of Ujjal DosanjhUjjal DosanjhUjjal Dev Singh Dosanjh, PC, QC, is a Sikh Canadian lawyer and politician. He served as 33rd Premier of British Columbia from 2000 to 2001 and as a Liberal Party of Canada Member of Parliament from 2004 to 2011 including a stint as Minister of Health from 2004 until 2006 when the party lost...
which took place on February 22nd, 2010 during the 2010 Winter Olympics2010 Winter OlympicsThe 2010 Winter Olympics, officially the XXI Olympic Winter Games or the 21st Winter Olympics, were a major international multi-sport event held from February 12–28, 2010, in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, with some events held in the suburbs of Richmond, West Vancouver and the University...
in VancouverVancouverVancouver is a coastal seaport city on the mainland of British Columbia, Canada. It is the hub of Greater Vancouver, which, with over 2.3 million residents, is the third most populous metropolitan area in the country,...
, British ColumbiaBritish ColumbiaBritish Columbia is the westernmost of Canada's provinces and is known for its natural beauty, as reflected in its Latin motto, Splendor sine occasu . Its name was chosen by Queen Victoria in 1858...
, CanadaCanadaCanada is a North American country consisting of ten provinces and three territories. Located in the northern part of the continent, it extends from the Atlantic Ocean in the east to the Pacific Ocean in the west, and northward into the Arctic Ocean...
. The riding profiled was Vancouver SouthVancouver SouthVancouver South is a federal electoral district in British Columbia, Canada, that has been represented in the Canadian House of Commons from 1917 to 1997, and since 2004. It covers the southern portion of the city of Vancouver, British Columbia....
, where the Olympics took place. - Better Know a Kissinger, A one part series on Henry Kissinger prior to Colbert's interview of Henry Kissinger.
The Boards
Originating from phrases used by Colbert as a warning or condemnation, the On Notice and Dead to Me boards are giant blue boards listing people and things that have angered Colbert. When the On Notice board is full, Colbert is forced to either remove an item or transfer it to the Dead to Me board, which is reserved for his most hated nemeses. One-off variations have included a Called Out white board on August 14, 2006, a red Fantasies board on January 31, 2007, a Do Not Say board on April 25, 2007 and a pocket-sized "On Notice" board on October 2, 2007.Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.
Cheating Death is a medical and health-related segment. During Cheating Death, Colbert refers to himself as Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A., a reference to the Honorary Fine Arts DoctorateDoctor of Fine Arts
Doctor of Fine Arts is doctoral degree in fine arts, typically given as an honorary degree . The degree is typically conferred to honor the recipient who has made a contribution to society in the arts...
that was awarded to him
Honorary degree
An honorary degree or a degree honoris causa is an academic degree for which a university has waived the usual requirements, such as matriculation, residence, study, and the passing of examinations...
by Knox College.
The introduction graphic to this segment is a reference to the chess game with death in Ingmar Bergman
Ingmar Bergman
Ernst Ingmar Bergman was a Swedish director, writer and producer for film, stage and television. Described by Woody Allen as "probably the greatest film artist, all things considered, since the invention of the motion picture camera", he is recognized as one of the most accomplished and...
's film
The Seventh Seal
The Seventh Seal is a 1957 Swedish film written and directed by Ingmar Bergman. Set during the Black Death, it tells of the journey of a medieval knight and a game of chess he plays with the personification of Death , who has come to take his life. Bergman developed the film from his own play...
, with Colbert wearing scrubs as he uses trickery to literally cheat Death and win. Colbert usually then prefaces each segment by noting that he is not a medical doctor, but rather a Doctor of Fine Arts, followed by a joke about what he is allowed to do (example: delivering babies through Georgia O'Keeffe
Georgia O'Keeffe
Georgia Totto O'Keeffe was an American artist.Born near Sun Prairie, Wisconsin, O'Keeffe first came to the attention of the New York art community in 1916, several decades before women had gained access to art training in America’s colleges and universities, and before any of its women artists...
paintings). The segment usually features accounts of actual medical and health news, including recent breakthroughs and announcements of the type found on other medical and health segments which then segue into plugs for the (fictional) sponsor, "Prescott Pharmaceuticals", and their highly dubious "Vaxa" product line. This health advice is generally dangerous or unhelpful, and has comedic side effects such as "Skeletal Xylophoning", or "REO Speedlung
REO Speedwagon
REO Speedwagon is an American rock band. Formed in 1967, the band grew in popularity during the 1970s and peaked in the early 1980s. Hi Infidelity is the group's most commercially successful album, selling over ten million copies and charting four Top 40 hits in the US...
". The segment always ends with Stephen Colbert saying, "I'll see you in health!," a play on the phrase, "I'll see you in hell!"
On the April 25, 2011 episode, Colbert renamed his product line "Vacsa", after he received a cease-and-desist letter from a company whose line of homeopathic products is actually called Växa. He insisted that any similarities between the two names was purely "axidental".
Colbert Platinum (CP)
Colbert Platinum is The Colbert Report's version of High Net Worth (HNW) on CNBCCNBC
CNBC is a satellite and cable television business news channel in the U.S., owned and operated by NBCUniversal. The network and its international spinoffs cover business headlines and provide live coverage of financial markets. The combined reach of CNBC and its siblings is 390 million viewers...
. It profiles expensive and high-profile items, like personal submarines and $750,000 pens
Montblanc (pens)
Montblanc International GmbH is a German manufacturer of writing instruments, watches and accessories, often identified by their "White Star" logo.-History:...
, which only the "super rich" could afford. In the introduction, Colbert reminds viewers that the segment is for billionaires "only", instructing "poor" millionaire viewers to change the channel. On October 20, 2008, Colbert Platinum was spun off as Colbert Aluminum, due to the economic crisis of 2008. Its focus was the formerly wealthy, Colbert telling viewers not to watch "if you haven't had a yacht repossessed in the last six months". As of August 20, 2009, Colbert announced that the recession was over and that Colbert Platinum had been reinstated.
Cold War Update
Cold War Update is a segment where Colbert dismisses "rumors" that the Cold WarCold War
The Cold War was the continuing state from roughly 1946 to 1991 of political conflict, military tension, proxy wars, and economic competition between the Communist World—primarily the Soviet Union and its satellite states and allies—and the powers of the Western world, primarily the United States...
ended with the dissolution of the Soviet Union
Dissolution of the Soviet Union
The dissolution of the Soviet Union was the disintegration of the federal political structures and central government of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics , resulting in the independence of all fifteen republics of the Soviet Union between March 11, 1990 and December 25, 1991...
in 1991. The segment covers news from former Soviet Bloc countries, such as Cuba
Cuba
The Republic of Cuba is an island nation in the Caribbean. The nation of Cuba consists of the main island of Cuba, the Isla de la Juventud, and several archipelagos. Havana is the largest city in Cuba and the country's capital. Santiago de Cuba is the second largest city...
, North Korea
North Korea
The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea , , is a country in East Asia, occupying the northern half of the Korean Peninsula. Its capital and largest city is Pyongyang. The Korean Demilitarized Zone serves as the buffer zone between North Korea and South Korea...
, Russia
Russia
Russia or , officially known as both Russia and the Russian Federation , is a country in northern Eurasia. It is a federal semi-presidential republic, comprising 83 federal subjects...
, China
China
Chinese civilization may refer to:* China for more general discussion of the country.* Chinese culture* Greater China, the transnational community of ethnic Chinese.* History of China* Sinosphere, the area historically affected by Chinese culture...
, and Yugoslavia
Yugoslavia
Yugoslavia refers to three political entities that existed successively on the western part of the Balkans during most of the 20th century....
.
The Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard
The Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard is a segment in which Colbert highlights a "bizarre" recent news item. It likens to The O'Reilly FactorThe O'Reilly Factor
The O'Reilly Factor, originally titled The O'Reilly Report from 1996 to 1998 and often called The Factor, is an American talk show on the Fox News Channel hosted by commentator Bill O'Reilly, who often discusses current controversial political issues with guests.The program was the most watched...
The DaColbert Code
A parody of Dan BrownDan Brown
Dan Brown is an American author of thriller fiction, best known for the 2003 bestselling novel, The Da Vinci Code. Brown's novels, which are treasure hunts set in a 24-hour time period, feature the recurring themes of cryptography, keys, symbols, codes, and conspiracy theories...
's The Da Vinci Code
The Da Vinci Code
The Da Vinci Code is a 2003 mystery-detective novel written by Dan Brown. It follows symbologist Robert Langdon and Sophie Neveu as they investigate a murder in Paris's Louvre Museum and discover a battle between the Priory of Sion and Opus Dei over the possibility of Jesus having been married to...
, "The DaColbert Code" is an occasional segment in which Colbert uses his mysterious code (actually an elaborate word association game) to uncover past and future events. This typically leads Colbert to form absurd conclusions, such as that Mike Myers
Mike Myers (actor)
Michael John "Mike" Myers is a Canadian actor, comedian, screenwriter, and film producer of British parentage...
was responsible for the Hurricane Katrina
Hurricane Katrina
Hurricane Katrina of the 2005 Atlantic hurricane season was a powerful Atlantic hurricane. It is the costliest natural disaster, as well as one of the five deadliest hurricanes, in the history of the United States. Among recorded Atlantic hurricanes, it was the sixth strongest overall...
debacle — although in 2006 and 2009 he used the DaColbert Code to accurately predict the five top Oscar winners
79th Academy Awards
The 79th Academy Awards ceremony , honored the best films of 2006 and took place on February 25, 2007 at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood on ABC. Ellen DeGeneres hosted the ceremony for the first time. The producer was Laura Ziskin. The announcers were Don LaFontaine and Gina Tuttle.The nominees were...
and shortly before the 2008 elections, the code repeatedly said that Barack Obama
Barack Obama
Barack Hussein Obama II is the 44th and current President of the United States. He is the first African American to hold the office. Obama previously served as a United States Senator from Illinois, from January 2005 until he resigned following his victory in the 2008 presidential election.Born in...
would be the next US president. The segment uses Leonardo Da Vinci
Leonardo da Vinci
Leonardo di ser Piero da Vinci was an Italian Renaissance polymath: painter, sculptor, architect, musician, scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, geologist, cartographer, botanist and writer whose genius, perhaps more than that of any other figure, epitomized the Renaissance...
's Mona Lisa
Mona Lisa
Mona Lisa is a portrait by the Italian artist Leonardo da Vinci. It is a painting in oil on a poplar panel, completed circa 1503–1519...
as its opening graphic, with Colbert's face edited in. On every occasion, he illustrates how it works by giving a test of it by predicting who killed John F. Kennedy
John F. Kennedy
John Fitzgerald "Jack" Kennedy , often referred to by his initials JFK, was the 35th President of the United States, serving from 1961 until his assassination in 1963....
, which at each time had led to a different suspect, including Jacqueline
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
Jacqueline Lee Bouvier "Jackie" Kennedy Onassis was the wife of the 35th President of the United States, John F. Kennedy, and served as First Lady of the United States during his presidency from 1961 until his assassination in 1963. Five years later she married Greek shipping magnate Aristotle...
, Johnson
Lyndon B. Johnson
Lyndon Baines Johnson , often referred to as LBJ, was the 36th President of the United States after his service as the 37th Vice President of the United States...
, Nixon
Richard Nixon
Richard Milhous Nixon was the 37th President of the United States, serving from 1969 to 1974. The only president to resign the office, Nixon had previously served as a US representative and senator from California and as the 36th Vice President of the United States from 1953 to 1961 under...
, and Kennedy himself.
Democralypse Now!
Democralypse Now! was introduced during the 2008 presidential primaries and covered how the Democratic party was "destroying itself" through Hillary Clinton and Barack ObamaBarack Obama
Barack Hussein Obama II is the 44th and current President of the United States. He is the first African American to hold the office. Obama previously served as a United States Senator from Illinois, from January 2005 until he resigned following his victory in the 2008 presidential election.Born in...
's competing bids for the presidential nomination. The title is a portmanteau, combining the title of left-leaning syndicated news program Democracy Now!
Democracy Now!
Democracy Now! and its staff have received several journalism awards, including the Gracie Award from American Women in Radio & Television; the George Polk Award for its 1998 radio documentary Drilling and Killing: Chevron and Nigeria's Oil Dictatorship, on the Chevron Corporation and the deaths of...
with that of the film Apocalypse Now
Apocalypse Now
Apocalypse Now is a 1979 American war film set during the Vietnam War, produced and directed by Francis Ford Coppola. The central character is US Army special operations officer Captain Benjamin L. Willard , of MACV-SOG, an assassin sent to kill the renegade and presumed insane Special Forces...
. (The opening sequence alludes to the film with the song "Ride of the Valkyries
Ride of the Valkyries
The Ride of the Valkyries is the popular term for the beginning of Act III of Die Walküre, the second of the four operas by Richard Wagner that comprise Der Ring des Nibelungen. The main theme of the Ride, the leitmotif labelled Walkürenritt, was first written down by the composer on 23 July 1851...
" and a cutout of John McCain
John McCain
John Sidney McCain III is the senior United States Senator from Arizona. He was the Republican nominee for president in the 2008 United States election....
's head quoting the film's famous line "The horror ... the horror!")
Difference Makers
Difference Makers pays tribute to ordinary Americans whom Colbert deems to be making a difference, usually in promoting a passionate cause of dubious value, such as a woman who believes that teaching pole dancing is a feminist cause. The Difference Maker being profiled is described in heroic superlatives, and the segments feature patriotic background music, but the interviews shown invariably contradict the narrator's praising statements. This is one of the few segments in which Colbert does not feature at all, except as the narrator. The name bears a similarity to that of the NBC Nightly NewsNBC Nightly News
NBC Nightly News is the flagship daily evening television news program for NBC News and broadcasts. NBC Nightly News has aired from Studio 3B, located on floors 3 of the NBC Studios is the headquarters of the GE Building forms the centerpiece of 30th Rockefeller Center it is located in the center...
human interest
Human interest story
A human interest story is a feature story that discusses a person or people in an emotional way. It presents people and their problems, concerns, or achievements in a way that brings about interest or sympathy in the reader or viewer....
segment "Making A Difference".
Formidable Opponent
For the Formidable Opponent, Colbert debates a topic against the only person he deems truly worthy of his opposition: himself. The segment gives the appearance that there are two Stephen Colberts, each facing the other, wearing different colored ties (usually a blue tie for the liberal Colbert and red for the conservative) and standing against different backdrops, an illusion attained through use of a green screen and chroma-key technology to change the color of Colbert's tie. One of the Colberts will generally take a more liberalLiberalism
Liberalism is the belief in the importance of liberty and equal rights. Liberals espouse a wide array of views depending on their understanding of these principles, but generally, liberals support ideas such as constitutionalism, liberal democracy, free and fair elections, human rights,...
position, while the other will take a more characteristic ultra-conservative view. The conservative Colbert will almost always win, generally posing an extremely unlikely hypothetical situation (either concerning special circumstances or hypothetical fallout), and using that for his justifications.
To date, the only time the 'liberal' Colbert has won was on the episode airing on November 4, 2009. In this episode, the 'liberal' Colbert called on Al Gore
Al Gore
Albert Arnold "Al" Gore, Jr. served as the 45th Vice President of the United States , under President Bill Clinton. He was the Democratic Party's nominee for President in the 2000 U.S. presidential election....
to help him argue (who was there in person.) The ultra-conservative Colbert then called his own version of Al Gore (also played by the real Al Gore.) However, unlike the two debating Stephens, "both" Al Gores were of the same opinion, and convinced the conservative Colbert that they were right.
Four Horsemen of the A-Pop-calypse
In the Four Horsemen of the A-Pop-calypse segment Colbert criticizes the media (radio, film, television, and books) for hastening the end of civilization.Freedom Trivia
These short messages frequently appeared on screen immediately before or after commercial breaks during the show's first season. The titles were typically portmanteaux, ranging from Fracts (FreedomLiberty
Liberty is a moral and political principle, or Right, that identifies the condition in which human beings are able to govern themselves, to behave according to their own free will, and take responsibility for their actions...
Fact
Fact
A fact is something that has really occurred or is actually the case. The usual test for a statement of fact is verifiability, that is whether it can be shown to correspond to experience. Standard reference works are often used to check facts...
s), to Friddles (Freedom Riddle
Riddle
A riddle is a statement or question or phrase having a double or veiled meaning, put forth as a puzzle to be solved. Riddles are of two types: enigmas, which are problems generally expressed in metaphorical or allegorical language that require ingenuity and careful thinking for their solution, and...
s), Franagrams (Freedom Anagram
Anagram
An anagram is a type of word play, the result of rearranging the letters of a word or phrase to produce a new word or phrase, using all the original letters exactly once; e.g., orchestra = carthorse, A decimal point = I'm a dot in place, Tom Marvolo Riddle = I am Lord Voldemort. Someone who...
s) and Frnaps (Freedom Snaps). Drinking game
Drinking game
Drinking games are games which involve the consumption of alcoholic beverages. These games vary widely in scope and complexity, although the purpose of most is to become intoxicated as quickly as possible...
s and Freedom Trivia were also offered. The messages displayed were typically reflective of Colbert's exaggerated patriotism and inflated ego, for instance, "Did you know… In 1983, Stephen legally changed his middle name to 'Gettysburg Address'." They were discontinued soon after the commencement of the show's second season; the last Freedom Trivia message appeared in the January 26, 2006 episode of the Report.
Indecision 2010: Revenge of the Fallen
Coverage of the 2010 midterm elections. Republicans were poised to re-take the House of Representatives and possibly the Senate. The segment subtitle is from the movie Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. In this case, the "fallen" are the Republicans. Senator Mitch McConnell is shown as transforming from a turtle, and Minority Leader John Boehner is shown as transforming from an orange traffic cone.Monkey on the Lam
Monkey on the Lam first appeared in August 2007 after a monkey escaped and went "on the lamOn the Lam
"On the Lam" is a song by Kele Okereke, lead singer and rhythm guitarist of the band Bloc Party, released as the third single from his debut solo album The Boxer. The music video was released on October 8, 2010, with the digital EP being released on October 25....
" in Wisconsin. It has recurred occasionally, featuring stories of escaped monkeys, but mostly revolving around Colbert's disappointment upon the discovery that whatever story is being profiled has been resolved and will not need follow up, giving him no excuse to use the graphic featuring a monkey riding a lamb and firing a gun. A "Lobster Edition" of the segment was also featured, using the same graphic.
Movies That Are Destroying America
Movies That Are Destroying America is a film review segment in which Colbert provides his opinions on recently-released movies—often, he admits, without actually having seen anything more than the trailers (which he claims "give you the best part of the movie anyway"). This often leads to a humorous and mistaken impression of the movies being reviewed as Colbert viciously attacks films that most would consider to be benign (such as Over the HedgeOver the Hedge (film)
Over the Hedge is a 2006 computer animated family action comedy film based on the characters from United Media comic strip of the same name. Directed by Tim Johnson and Karey Kirkpatrick, and produced by Bonnie Arnold, it was released in the United States on May 19, 2006.The film was produced by...
and Pride and Prejudice), then praises a movie that conservatives have found objectionable (such as Brokeback Mountain
Brokeback Mountain
Brokeback Mountain is a 2005 romantic drama film directed by Ang Lee. It is a film adaptation of the 1997 short story of the same name by Annie Proulx with the screenplay written by Diana Ossana and Larry McMurtry...
). The segment has featured an "Awards Edition," a "Christmas Edition," and a "Summer Blockbuster Edition."
Nailed 'Em
Nailed 'Em is a segment where Colbert covers a dubious triumph of "Order & Law". The segment involves someone breaking a minor or absurd law, and being brought to justice - for example, a man who was charged for allowing his spouse to eat from his plate at an all-you-can-eat restaurant. The segment is narrated by Colbert, who uses various dramatic rhetoric and strange metaphors to portray the law-breaker as a horrid criminal. In certain cases, Colbert follows up a story on this segment by "punishing" the "criminal" in a way that sarcastically underscores the absurdity of the crime for which they were "nailed." An example of this is when a young boy who loved to read had his library card revoked because his family lived in a different borough than their library of choice, and as such did not pay taxes that supported that library. He was featured on this segment, and Colbert responded by "forcing" the boy to read even more books, which he enacted by sending him a box full of books previously featured on his show, as well as a collector's box-set of the entire Harry PotterHarry Potter
Harry Potter is a series of seven fantasy novels written by the British author J. K. Rowling. The books chronicle the adventures of the adolescent wizard Harry Potter and his best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, all of whom are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry...
series, signed by Colbert himself.
People Destroying America
In a similar style to that of Nailed 'Em and Difference Makers, People Destroying America features interviews surrounding a person who has committed some sort of trivial action or offense that Colbert deems to be "destroying America." The narration, usually read by Colbert, tends to describe the subject and their supposed offense in ominous superlatives which are invariably contradicted by the benign responses of the interviewees.Sam Waterston Says Things You Should Never Believe in a Trustworthy Manner
Sam Waterston Says Things You Should Never Believe in a Trustworthy Manner is a brief segment featuring Law & OrderLaw & Order
Law & Order is an American police procedural and legal drama television series, created by Dick Wolf and part of the Law & Order franchise. It aired on NBC, and in syndication on various cable networks. Law & Order premiered on September 13, 1990, and completed its 20th and final season on May 24,...
star Sam Waterston
Sam Waterston
Samuel Atkinson "Sam" Waterston is an American actor and occasional producer and director. Among other roles, he is noted for his Academy Award-nominated portrayal of Sydney Schanberg in 1984's The Killing Fields, and his Golden Globe- and Screen Actors Guild Award-winning portrayal of Jack McCoy...
, who, as the title suggests, says things you should never believe in a trustworthy manner—things such as, "I'm from the future. Come with me if you want to live.
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Terminator 2: Judgment Day is a 1991 science fiction action film directed by James Cameron and written by Cameron and William Wisher Jr.. It stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Robert Patrick, and Edward Furlong...
" It was introduced in January 2008 to illustrate the perils of relying on the "folksy" charms of then-presidential candidate and Law & Order costar Fred Thompson, who, to the distress of Colbert, was frequently hailed as a "Reagan figure
Ronald Reagan
Ronald Wilson Reagan was the 40th President of the United States , the 33rd Governor of California and, prior to that, a radio, film and television actor....
" by the press. The segment ran three times (although Colbert claimed that he has proven the case "dozens of times"), and was discontinued after Thompson withdrew from his campaign for the presidency.
Smokin' Pole: The Fight for Arctic Riches
Smokin' Pole: The Fight for Arctic Riches is a segment in which Colbert recaps news surrounding the world's nations laying claim to the resources of the Arctic CircleArctic Circle
The Arctic Circle is one of the five major circles of latitude that mark maps of the Earth. For Epoch 2011, it is the parallel of latitude that runs north of the Equator....
. This segment was originally titled "Arc! Who goes there?"
Stephen Colbert's Balls for Kidz
Stephen Colbert's Balls for Kidz is an "educational" children's segment providing lessons on what Colbert deems to be important issues. It features a panel of four children interviewing adult "experts" whose typically absurd answers elicit bemused or horrified reactions from the young panel. The segment is filmed in two separate parts - field interviews with, or re-cut news footage of the "experts"; and the children's questions and reactions - which are then edited together to create the final piece.Stephen Colbert's Bears & Balls
A financial advice segment in the style of Mad MoneyMad Money
Mad Money is an American finance television program hosted by Jim Cramer that began airing on CNBC on March 14, 2005. Its main focus is investment and speculation, particularly in publicly traded stocks...
, Bears and Balls features an over-sized red button that, when pressed, bleats out simplistic answers (frequently "Bees!") to finance-related questions, although Colbert will sometimes have to press it several times (each time emitting irrelevant and often comedic answers) before eliciting a response relevant to the question. The button occasionally gives an answer before Colbert even presses it.
Stephen Colbert's Fallback Position
A segment in which Colbert searches for a job other than being a political pundit, such as a spy or a Thunderbird. In each of these segments, he interviews someone in the profession he is considering and asks them why he should choose that job. At the end of the interview, Colbert becomes convinced and tries out his fallback position.Stephen Colbert's Skate Expectations Kicking Ice and Taking Donations On the Slippery Slope Down the Icy Path to the Frozen Road Up to Vancouver '010
A four part series where Colbert would profile a winter olympic sport in the 2010 Winter Olympics and try out for the corresponding US team. In each of the segments, skeletonSkeleton (sport)
Skeleton is a fast winter sliding sport in which an individual person rides a small sled down a frozen track while lying face down, during which athletes experience forces up to 5g. It originated in St. Moritz, Switzerland as a spin-off from the popular British sport of Cresta Sledding...
, bobsledding, curling
Curling
Curling is a sport in which players slide stones across a sheet of ice towards a target area. It is related to bowls, boule and shuffleboard. Two teams, each of four players, take turns sliding heavy, polished granite stones, also called "rocks", across the ice curling sheet towards the house, a...
, and speed skating
Speed skating
Speed skating, or speedskating is a competitive form of ice skating in which the competitors race each other in traveling a certain distance on skates. Types of speed skating are long track speed skating, short track speed skating, and marathon speed skating...
were all profiled. Luge
Luge
A Luge is a small one- or two-person sled on which one sleds supine and feet-first. Steering is done by flexing the sled's runners with the calf of each leg or exerting opposite shoulder pressure to the seat. Racing sleds weigh 21-25 kilograms for singles and 25-30 kilograms for doubles. Luge...
was passed upon, due to it being considered the "gayest sport". The final segment featured the race between Colbert and olympic skater Shani Davis
Shani Davis
Shani Davis is an Olympic Champion speed skater from the United States.At the 2006 Winter Olympics in Turin, Italy, Davis became the first Black athlete to win a gold medal in an individual sport at the Olympic Winter Games . He also won the silver in the 1,500 m...
. Which was issued after Davis called Colbert "a jerk" for slamming Canada for not allowing the US speedskating team to practice in their arena.
Stephen Colbert's Sport Report
The Sport Report (both pronounced with silent "t"s) is The Colbert ReportESPN
Entertainment and Sports Programming Network, commonly known as ESPN, is an American global cable television network focusing on sports-related programming including live and pre-taped event telecasts, sports talk shows, and other original programming....
's SportsCenter
SportsCenter
SportsCenter is a daily sports news television show, and the flagship program of American cable network ESPN since the network launched on September 7, 1979. Originally broadcast only daily, SportsCenter is now shown up to twelve times a day, replaying the day's scores and highlights from major...
. The introduction music is Skulls and Snakes by Zack Tempest of Xtreme Music. It was essentially created to cover the Saginaw Spirit
Saginaw Spirit
The Saginaw Spirit is a major junior ice hockey team based in Saginaw, Michigan. They are members of the West Division of the Western Conference of the Ontario Hockey League , one of the Major Junior leagues of the Canadian Hockey League ....
, an Ontario Hockey League
Ontario Hockey League
The Ontario Hockey League is one of the three Major Junior ice hockey leagues which constitute the Canadian Hockey League. The league is for players aged 15-20.The OHL also operates under the Ontario Hockey Federation of Hockey Canada....
junior ice hockey
Junior ice hockey
Junior hockey is a catch-all term used to describe various levels of ice hockey competition for players generally between 16 and 20 years of age...
team whose secondary mascot, Steagle Colbeagle, was named after Colbert. The Spirit was the driving force of the segment at its inception, with Colbert recapping games, trash-talking upcoming opponents and advising the team's coach, but has since become a segment for more generalized sports and sport related stories, once taking up an entire show on its own during the writer's strike.
Stephen Hawking is Such an A-Hole
Presented as covering stories regarding astro physicist Stephen HawkingStephen Hawking
Stephen William Hawking, CH, CBE, FRS, FRSA is an English theoretical physicist and cosmologist, whose scientific books and public appearances have made him an academic celebrity...
, by which Colbert portrays him in a light that suggests that he is a jerk.
Stephen's Sound Advice
Stephen's Sound Advice is an advice segment during which Colbert proffers absurdist remedies for problems such as taxes, power blackouts and identity theftIdentity theft
Identity theft is a form of stealing another person's identity in which someone pretends to be someone else by assuming that person's identity, typically in order to access resources or obtain credit and other benefits in that person's name...
.
Tek Jansen
Fully titled: Stephen Colbert Presents: Stephen Colbert's Alpha Squad 7: The New Tek Jansen Adventures, the Tek Jansen shorts are animated adventures, purportedly of the main character of Colbert's (fictional) unpublished book, Stephen Colbert's Alpha Squad 7: Lady Nocturne: A Tek Jansen Adventure. The shorts could be said to be formulaic and over the top, with each one featuring Jansen taking part in heroic adventures, becoming amorous with every woman (human and otherwise) he meets, spouting one-liners, and falling into mortal danger in a cliffhanger ending. Invariably the real Colbert will react to the animated goings-on as if he, too, finds it as exciting as the narrator does.ThreatDown
The ThreatDown is one of the show's longest running segments, listing the five biggest threats to Americans as identified by Stephen Colbert. Bears and robots (and, occasionally, robot bears) each frequently feature high on the list, either as their own entry or in connection with another entry. The threats posed are often a threat to no one but Colbert himself; for example, in January 2006, Colbert declared the Associated PressAssociated Press
The Associated Press is an American news agency. The AP is a cooperative owned by its contributing newspapers, radio and television stations in the United States, which both contribute stories to the AP and use material written by its staff journalists...
the number one threat to America for failing to credit him with the coining of the word "truthiness
Truthiness
Truthiness is a "truth" that a person claims to know intuitively "from the gut" or that it "feels right" without regard to evidence, logic, intellectual examination, or facts....
". Variations on this segment have included a GreatDown, which Colbert listed the five greatest things in America; a Mini ThreatDown that featured a single "threat number .5", which Colbert had neglected to mention in the previous night's ThreatDown; a ShredDown, the title given to the guitar solo competition between Colbert and Chris Funk; a Threat StandDown, the antithesis of the ThreatDown, in which viewers are told to stop being afraid; and a number of themed ThreatDowns, including an all animal, science and technology, and most frequent threats editions.
The Xbox Live Arcade game Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3 Commander's Challenge has an achievement referencing the ThreatDown. You have to destroy all the bears in the level 'Number One Threat to America'
Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger
Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger (Also referred to as "T-Dubs" or "Tip/Wag") is a segment in which Colbert expresses approval or disapproval of people or news items. It is not uncommon for Colbert to praise someone with a "Tip of the HatHat tip
A hat tip is an act of tipping or doffing one's hat as a cultural expression of recognition, respect, gratitude, greeting, or simple salutation and acknowledgement between two persons....
", only to immediately turn around and condemn them with a "Wag of the Finger
Index finger
The index finger, , is the first finger and the second digit of a human hand. It is located between the first and third digits, between the thumb and the middle finger...
", sometimes for the same reason. In one such instance, Colbert lavished approval on then-Prime Minister of Australia
Prime Minister of Australia
The Prime Minister of the Commonwealth of Australia is the highest minister of the Crown, leader of the Cabinet and Head of Her Majesty's Australian Government, holding office on commission from the Governor-General of Australia. The office of Prime Minister is, in practice, the most powerful...
John Howard
John Howard
John Winston Howard AC, SSI, was the 25th Prime Minister of Australia, from 11 March 1996 to 3 December 2007. He was the second-longest serving Australian Prime Minister after Sir Robert Menzies....
for his criticism of Barack Obama
Barack Obama
Barack Hussein Obama II is the 44th and current President of the United States. He is the first African American to hold the office. Obama previously served as a United States Senator from Illinois, from January 2005 until he resigned following his victory in the 2008 presidential election.Born in...
, expressing agreement with the remarks, before showering Howard with abuse for daring to speak ill of an American citizen. He also has tipped his hat to Roe v. Wade, the abortion case, because he wants to be able to "Roe" across a lake in a boat, not "Wade" across and ruin his jacket.
The Blitzkrieg on Grinchitude
A segment that is featured around Christmas season. He Colbert covers stories that involve people suggested to be attacking Christmas getting foiled in various ways.Un-American News
Un-American News is a segment in which Colbert reports on newsNews
News is the communication of selected information on current events which is presented by print, broadcast, Internet, or word of mouth to a third party or mass audience.- Etymology :...
from around the world
World
World is a common name for the whole of human civilization, specifically human experience, history, or the human condition in general, worldwide, i.e. anywhere on Earth....
.
Where in the World and when in Time is Stephen Colbert Going to be in the Persian Gulf?
Where in the World and when in Time is Stephen Colbert Going to be in the Persian Gulf? was a segment that was created in response to both the cancellation of Matt LauerMatt Lauer
Matthew Todd "Matt" Lauer . is an American television journalist best known as the host of NBC's The Today Show since 1997. He was previously a news anchor in New York and a local talk-show host in Boston, Philadelphia, Providence and Richmond...
's Today Show segment Where in the World is Matt Lauer?
Where in the World is Matt Lauer?
Where in the World is Matt Lauer? is a segment on NBC's Today show, which features co-host Matt Lauer traveling the world to various locations within one week. The title is similar to the children's computer game and PBS game show Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, and the segment's opening...
and Colbert's announcement that he would take his show to the Persian Gulf
Persian Gulf
The Persian Gulf, in Southwest Asia, is an extension of the Indian Ocean located between Iran and the Arabian Peninsula.The Persian Gulf was the focus of the 1980–1988 Iran-Iraq War, in which each side attacked the other's oil tankers...
for a week of shows. The segment profiles a random region in the Persian Gulf using the Press Your Luck
Press Your Luck
Press Your Luck is an American television daytime game show created by Bill Carruthers and Jan McCormack. It premiered on September 19, 1983 on CBS and ended on September 26, 1986. In the show, contestants collected "spins" by answering trivia questions and then used the spins on an 18-space game...
board. On the May 6, 2009 airing, Colbert changed the title to Where in the When and Who in How is Stephen Someone Going to be in the Something Where? per Pentagon's request, as it was stated that the segment's theme song gave out too much information about the location of where the show would be taping.
On June 8, 2009, The Colbert Report aired from the Al-Faw Palace (Also known as the Water Palace), at Camp Victory, Baghdad, Iraq. He interviewed Gen. Raymond T. Odierno
Raymond T. Odierno
Raymond T. Odierno is a United States Army general and the 38th and current Chief of Staff of the Army. Odierno most recently commanded United States Joint Forces Command from October 2010 until its disestablishment in August 2011. He served as Commanding General, United States Forces – Iraq and...
. Senator John McCain
John McCain
John Sidney McCain III is the senior United States Senator from Arizona. He was the Republican nominee for president in the 2008 United States election....
and President Barack Obama
Barack Obama
Barack Hussein Obama II is the 44th and current President of the United States. He is the first African American to hold the office. Obama previously served as a United States Senator from Illinois, from January 2005 until he resigned following his victory in the 2008 presidential election.Born in...
made special appearances, as did Presidents Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton
William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton is an American politician who served as the 42nd President of the United States from 1993 to 2001. Inaugurated at age 46, he was the third-youngest president. He took office at the end of the Cold War, and was the first president of the baby boomer generation...
and George H.W. Bush on day two.
See: Operation Iraqi Stephen: Going Commando 2009 Visit to Baghdad, Iraq for further information.
Who's —ing Me Now?
Variants of this segment include Who's Honoring Me Now? and Who's Not Honoring Me Now?, where Colbert brings attention to a media outlet that is recognizing him for something, or failing to recognize him for something he feels he should be recognized for respectively, playing on the character's self-centered nature. Who's Attacking Me Now? parodies the tendency of conservative pundits to portray themselves as besieged by foes in order to rally supporters to their defence. Who's Riding My Coattails Now? is another variation.Words in the Title Sequence
During the title sequence for the show a bunch of words can be seen, usually words describing patriotic characteristics. The last word shown changes from time to time, sometimes changed specifically for a particular episode. With the current title sequence, Stephen is seen jumping over this last word while giving a sort of "battle-cry" and holding an American flag.| "Word/phrase" | | General episode dates they appeared* | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Grippy | Oct 05+ | |
| Megamerican | Feb 06+ | |
| Lincolnish | 4/17/06+ | |
| Superstantial | 9/11/06+ | Start of season 2. |
| Freem | Jan 07+ | |
| Eneagled | 2/26/07+ | |
| Flagaphile | 4/9/07+ | |
| Good | 7/16/07+ | |
| Gutly | 9/10/07+ | |
| Warrior-poet | 10/29/07+ | |
| President Bush Have a Hotdog with Me | 3/10/08-7/17/08 | The previous week, Bush had a "hot dog date" with John McCain, and Stephen claimed this invitation was in his opening and he was snubbed. |
| Self-Evident | 4/14/08-4/17/08 | When visible, during convention coverage |
| Rock On! | 7/16/08 | Rush was a guest |
| Multi-Grain | 7/21/08+ | |
| Vote | 10/15/08+ | |
| Factose Intolerant | 11/5/08+ | |
| Colmes-Free Since 2009 | 1/6/09+ | |
| Seven-Inch Gangly Wrench | 2/4/09 | A nod to episode-long guest Steve Martin |
| Juice It! | 2/5/09+ | |
| Purple-Mounted | 4/20/09+ | |
| 346X | 5/4/09 | In the interview of evening guest, it was brought up how J. J. Abrams J. J. Abrams Jeffrey Jacob "J. J." Abrams is an American film and television producer, screenwriter, director, actor, and composer. He wrote and produced feature films before co-creating the television series Felicity... liked to place hidden "clues" within his TV works which would somehow relate to some of the mysteries of the particular show. After it was hinted he had placed various "clues" in this episode, various random symbols/messages appeared, and the 346x can be inferred to be connected these clues, suggesting that clues together could form some sort of secret meaning. |
| Farewellison | 9/17/09 | A farewell to executive producer Allison |
| Fundit | 9/22/09+ | |
| Applepious | 1/4/10+ | Beginning the new opening for HD |
| Libertease | 3/29/10+ | |
| SCILF | 6/1/10+ | As in MILF MILF (slang) MILF, an acronym for "Mother/Mom/Mum I'd Like to Fuck", is a common colloquial term generally regarded as vulgar when spelled out. It denotes a sexually attractive older female, generally between 25 and 50 years of age.-History:... |
| Flurpy | 7/5/10 | Stephen did the whole show sick, with several pre-taped segments, presumably feeling "flurpy" |
| TBD | 8/2/10-8/4/10 | |
| Überballed | 8/5/10+ | |
| Army of Won | 9/8/10 | Armed forces special part 1 |
| Ready, Vet, Go! | 9/9/10' | Armed forces special part 2 |
| Heterosapien | 9/13/10+ | [sic], despite the term "Homo sapiens" being two words and having an "s" |
| Cinco de Me-o | 10/25/10 | In honor of the 5-year anniversary of the Report, which happened during a week off |
| March Madness | 10/26/10 | Referring to the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear to occur the following Saturday on October 30 in Washington, D.C. |
| Let Feardom Ring | 10/27/10 | |
| When Scary Met Rally | 10/28/10 | |
| Fearnix Rising | 11/1/10 | |
| Hang 2010 | 11/2/10 | Live Election Night special |
| Batter-Fried | 11/3/10-11/4/10 | |
| Downtrickler | 11/8/10+ | |
| Thankstaking | 11/18/10 | Last show before Thanksgiving |
| Christmust | 11/29/10 | First show after Thanksgiving |
| Deck the balls | 12/7/10+ | |
| Van Gogh-Getter | 12/8/10 | Episode focusing on Stephen's art project |
| Lad Liberty | 1/3/11-2/3/11 | |
| Yay-Hole | 2/14/11-3/10/11 | |
| Winning! | 2/28/11 | In reference to Charlie Sheen Charlie Sheen Carlos Irwin Estevez , better known by his stage name Charlie Sheen, is an American film and television actor. He is the youngest son of actor Martin Sheen.... 's outrageous interviews about the controversy of his frequent partying and then subsequent hiatus of his popular show, Two and a Half Men Two and a Half Men Two and a Half Men is an American television sitcom that premiered on CBS on September 22, 2003. Starring Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer, and Angus T. Jones, the show was originally about a hedonistic jingle writer, Charlie Harper; his uptight brother, Alan; and Alan's growing son, Jake... . |
| Strong Swimmer | 3/21/11-4/14/11 | |
| Word Hurdler | 4/25/11-5/19/11 | Literally referring to his jumping over these word phrases in the title sequence. |
| I'm in England | 4/28/11 | Part of Colbert's attempt to convince people he was in England to attend the British Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, which was to occur the following morning. |
| Win Laden | 5/2/11 | Referring to the news of the killing of Osama bin Laden Death of Osama bin Laden Osama bin Laden, then head of the Islamist militant group al-Qaeda, was killed in Pakistan on May 2, 2011, shortly after 1 a.m. local time by a United States special forces military unit.... , announced the previous night. |
| Pacman | 5/31/11 | Referring to the Super PAC Political action committee In the United States, a political action committee, or PAC, is the name commonly given to a private group, regardless of size, organized to elect political candidates or to advance the outcome of a political issue or legislation. Legally, what constitutes a "PAC" for purposes of regulation is a... , ColbertPAC (Colbert Super Pac), Colbert was trying to and subsequently did form while also relating to the popular arcade video game and brand Pac-Man Pac-Man is an arcade game developed by Namco and licensed for distribution in the United States by Midway, first released in Japan on May 22, 1980. Immensely popular from its original release to the present day, Pac-Man is considered one of the classics of the medium, virtually synonymous with video games,... |
| #hashtag | 6/1/11 | The lettering is actually in all lowercase when normally they are in all capital letters |
| #ivebeenhacked | 6/2/11 | Referred to Rep. Anthony Weiner's sexting Sexting Sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones. The term was first popularized in early 21st century, and is a portmanteau of sex and texting, where the latter is meant in the wide sense of sending a text possibly with... scandal Anthony Weiner sexting scandal The Anthony Weiner sexting scandal, also dubbed Weinergate, began when Democratic U.S. Congressman Anthony Weiner used the social media website Twitter to send a link to a sexually suggestive picture to a 21-year-old Washington State woman... when Weiner accidentally tweeted an inappropriate photo of his penis, although it was inside his underwear (but still explicit, especially for a government official), with his Twitter Twitter Twitter is an online social networking and microblogging service that enables its users to send and read text-based posts of up to 140 characters, informally known as "tweets".Twitter was created in March 2006 by Jack Dorsey and launched that July... account. At this time Weiner had claimed his account was hacked and then they tweeted the photo. However Weiner did not outright deny it was a picture of him, stating he could not with "certitude" say it was a photo of him or not. Stephen then on his own Twitter account posted a string of 16 "tweets" with links to photos while stating similarly, "I cannot say with certitude that this is not part of my body." The photos were typically various outrageous and humorous pictures that obviously were not human body parts, male or otherwise, or made suggestive references to "inappropriate" parts of the (male) human body. He included in all these posts the hashtag: #ivebeenhacked. The letters in this phrase were all lowercase as well. |
| #iwasnthacked | 6/6/11 | This followed Anthony Weiner's press conference admitting the indecent photo posted on his Twitter account was indeed accidentally done by him and the photo was of him taken by himself. He also admitted that he was lying when he claimed his account had been hacked. The letters were again in all lowercase. |
| Your Ad Here | 6/7/11+ | |
| Less Talk, More Rock | 6/20/11-6/23/11 | Commemorating "Stephest Cobechella '011." |
| Tighty Righty | 6/27/11- | |
| From C to Silent T | -11/17/11 | Referring to pronunciation of Stephen's last name and to the last line of the song, America the Beautiful America the Beautiful "America the Beautiful" is an American patriotic song. The lyrics were written by Katharine Lee Bates and the music composed by church organist and choirmaster Samuel A. Ward.... ("From sea to shining sea"). |
| Consubstantial? | 11/28/11- | First show after the revised Catholic mass began to use this word during the profession of faith. Including a question mark echoes the confusion felt by many Catholics attending mass the previous Sunday. |
The Wørd
The Wørd is a frequently recurring segment during which Colbert chooses a word or phrase as a theme for a rant on a topical subject or news item while messages displayed in a sidebar either highlight or sarcastically undercut what he is saying. This segment is a parody of The O'Reilly FactorThe O'Reilly Factor
The O'Reilly Factor, originally titled The O'Reilly Report from 1996 to 1998 and often called The Factor, is an American talk show on the Fox News Channel hosted by commentator Bill O'Reilly, who often discusses current controversial political issues with guests.The program was the most watched...
segment Talking Points Memo and can also be likened to Mark Hyman's The Point conservative commentaries for Sinclair Broadcasting Group's former News Central
News Central
News Central was a primetime newscast on Sinclair television stations in the United States, mixing locally produced news with nationally produced news and an opinion segment from Sinclair's Hunt Valley, Maryland studios...
concept. The Wørd is the longest running segment on the Colbert Report, having been a feature since the first episode on October 17, 2005. The first "The Wørd" was the originator of the now famous word/concept Truthiness
Truthiness
Truthiness is a "truth" that a person claims to know intuitively "from the gut" or that it "feels right" without regard to evidence, logic, intellectual examination, or facts....
.
As Colbert himself explains it:
In the episode aired on April 17, 2008, former Democratic
Democratic Party (United States)
The Democratic Party is one of two major contemporary political parties in the United States, along with the Republican Party. The party's socially liberal and progressive platform is largely considered center-left in the U.S. political spectrum. The party has the lengthiest record of continuous...
presidential
President of the United States
The President of the United States of America is the head of state and head of government of the United States. The president leads the executive branch of the federal government and is the commander-in-chief of the United States Armed Forces....
candidate John Edwards
John Edwards
Johnny Reid "John" Edwards is an American politician, who served as a U.S. Senator from North Carolina. He was the Democratic nominee for Vice President in 2004, and was a candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2004 and 2008.He defeated incumbent Republican Lauch Faircloth in...
appeared on The Report and performed his own variation of The Wørd, called EdWørds.
On April 22, 2010, while attacking William Gheen for accusing Stephen's home state's senator Lindsey Graham
Lindsey Graham
Lindsey Olin Graham is the senior U.S. Senator from South Carolina and a member of the Republican Party. Previously he served as the U.S. Representative for .-Early life, education and career:...
of being a homosexual, Stephen introduced a BonusWørd.
Wrist Watch
Following a July 2007 wristWrist
In human anatomy, the wrist is variously defined as 1) the carpus or carpal bones, the complex of eight bones forming the proximal skeletal segment of the hand;...
injury, Colbert took up wrist injuries in general as a "pet cause" debuting Wrist Watch on July 31. The segment purports to expose "Hollywood's 'glamorization' of wrist
Wrist
In human anatomy, the wrist is variously defined as 1) the carpus or carpal bones, the complex of eight bones forming the proximal skeletal segment of the hand;...
violence." Generally the segment shows scenes from television and film featuring someone either hurting their arm or wrist in some way or having it removed. Colbert also wore and marketed "Wriststrong" gel bracelet
Gel bracelet
Gel bracelets, or jelly bracelets are an inexpensive type of wristband. They come in a variety of colors, and several can be worn on each arm. They have been popular in waves throughout the Western world and elsewhere since the 1980s...
s, a parody of Lance Armstrong's Livestrong wristband
Livestrong wristband
The LIVESTRONG Bracelet is a blue silicone gel bracelet launched in May 2004 as a fund-raising item for the Lance Armstrong Foundation, founded by cyclist and pnumonia survivor Lance Armstrong. The bracelet itself was developed by Nike and their ad agency Wieden+Kennedy.-Purpose:The bracelet is...
s. The cast that he wore afterwards was removed on the show on August 23, 2007.
Yahweh or No Way
In this segment, Colbert determines whether various news events were influenced by divine interventionDivine Intervention
Divine intervention is a term for a miracle caused by God's/a god's active involvement in the human world.Divine Intervention may also refer to:*"Divine Intervention", a 1991 song on Matthew Sweet's album Girlfriend....
(Yahweh) or run contrary to what he thinks would be God's will (No Way). One example was the news story stating that Mormons may have baptized President Barack Obama
Barack Obama
Barack Hussein Obama II is the 44th and current President of the United States. He is the first African American to hold the office. Obama previously served as a United States Senator from Illinois, from January 2005 until he resigned following his victory in the 2008 presidential election.Born in...
's relatives. Colbert labeled this "No Way", explaining that Mormons are teetotalers and Obama uses even the flimsiest excuse to have a beer. Another was the story of Dinosaur Adventureland, a Creationist dinosaur theme park whose owner claimed that he was not required to pay the $600,000 in payroll taxes he owed to the IRS because he was employed by God. Colbert labeled this "Yahweh", and then said that God should not be imagined as He was by Hollywood films such as King of Kings, but more like Mr. Six
Mr. Six
Mr. Six is an advertising character, first featured in a 2004–05 advertising campaign by the theme park chain Six Flags. Appearing as a bald, decrepit, wrinkled old man wearing a tuxedo and thick-framed glasses, he invites stressed and over-worked people to Six Flags by performing a frenetic dance...
of the Six Flags
Six Flags
Six Flags Entertainment Corp. is the world's largest amusement park corporation based on quantity of properties and the fifth most popular in terms of attendance. The company maintains 14 properties located throughout North America, including theme parks, thrill parks, water parks and family...
television commercials. He also claimed that the manna that fell in the desert
The Exodus
The Exodus is the story of the departure of the Israelites from ancient Egypt described in the Hebrew Bible.Narrowly defined, the term refers only to the departure from Egypt described in the Book of Exodus; more widely, it takes in the subsequent law-givings and wanderings in the wilderness...
was funnel cake
Funnel cake
Funnel cake or funnelcake is a regional food popular in North America at carnivals, fairs, sporting events, and seaside resorts. Funnel cakes are made by pouring batter into hot cooking oil in a circular pattern and deep frying the overlapping mass until golden-brown. When made at concession...
. Rarely, Colbert used a "Middle Way' or 'Maybewey, because he was unsure if an event was in "Yahweh or "No Way" territory.
See also
- List of The Colbert Report episodes
- The Daily ShowThe Daily ShowThe Daily Show , is an American late night satirical television program airing each Monday through Thursday on Comedy Central. The half-hour long show premiered on July 21, 1996, and was hosted by Craig Kilborn until December 1998...
- Comedy CentralComedy CentralComedy Central is an American cable television and satellite television channel that carries comedy programming, both original and syndicated....
- Stephen Colbert at the 2006 White House Correspondents' Association DinnerStephen Colbert at the 2006 White House Correspondents' Association DinnerOn April 29, 2006, American comedian Stephen Colbert appeared as the featured entertainer at the 2006 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner, which was held in Washington, D.C., at the Hilton Washington hotel...
- Colbert's Shred-Off with the Decemberists following Green Screen Challenge dispute
- List of late night network TV programs