Islamic marital practices
Encyclopedia
Muslim marriage and Islamic wedding customs are traditions and practices that relate to wedding
ceremonies and marriage
rituals prevailing within the Muslim world
. Participants in these rites belong to communities of people
who have Islam
as their faith
.
According to the teachings of the Quran, a married Muslim couple is equated with clothing. Within this context, both husband and wife act as each other’s protector and comforter, just the way real garments “show and conceal” the body of human beings. Thus, they are meant “for one another”.
In Islam, Polygyny
is allowed with certain restrictions, however Polyandry
is not. Even so, the number of Polygynist families amounts to a very small minority with the majority of Muslims practicing monogamy
.
s although young people are at liberty to express their preferences and state what they are looking for in a prospective partner, it is not the usual practice for them actively to seek a partner for themselves. This is mostly done by their parents or other elders within the family. In other words, it is usually an ‘arranged marriage’. Arranged marriage must fulfil the basic condition of the freely given consent of both the bride and the groom. A ‘forced’ marriage
, where consent has not been given by either the bride or the groom, or is given only under excessive pressure, is a different matter; this would be contrary to the teachings of Islam, and would immediately call into question the validity of the marriage. Arranged marriages are the general custom among Muslims as the best way to find, vet and meet potential husbands or wives within the overall context of the Islamic way of life.
of choice
when marrying within their religion, Muslim men and women are given the right to choose who they want to marry. When marrying outside the religion, Muslim men may marry Christian or Jewish women but not other religions. Muslim women are not allowed
to marry outside of Islam.
In relation to women, men are encouraged to get married to religiously devoted women.
Same-sex Marriage
is not allowed in Islam.
or dower
, to his wife. This type of dower, based on what was agreed upon by the couple, could be in the form of any item and “in any amount”. An example is a cantar or a “great amount” of gold. However, the man can also marry a woman based on the amount of knowledge he has about the Quran, even though he has no material possessions.
After the consummation
of their marriage, it is customary for the male spouse to give a wedding reception
, known as the Walima
, to family members and friends. Such a reception serves as a celebration of the couple’s happiness.
In Islam, both husbands and wives are described to have equal duties and rights, although men are further described as having a “degree above” their wives. The Islamic rationale for this is that the husband is given authority within the household because he has received a heavier load of responsibilities, which include taking care of the woman who has become his wife, and that he also provides financial support to her. Wives are expected to respect their husbands wishes. On the other hand, men are expected to safeguard their women, because they were married to women with God’s trust. Yet, both man and woman, once married, are expected to act as responsible guardians. Married men are to act as guardians of their families. The women, in turn, become guardians of the home and their children.
Chinese Muslim
marriages resemble typical Chinese marriages except traditional Chinese religious rituals are not used.
Muslims in India
normally follow marriage customs that are similar to those practiced by Muslims of the Middle-East, which are based on Islamic convention. These Islamic traditions were first handed down to medieval Indians by propagators of the Islamic religion that involved sultan
s and Moghul rulers at the time. The blueprint
is the same as the Middle-Eastern Nikah
, a pattern seen in marriage ceremonies of Sunnis and Shias. Traditional Muslim Indian wedding celebrations typically last for three days. Prior to the observance of the wedding ceremony proper, two separate pre-wedding rituals, which involve traditional dancing and singing, occurs in two places: at the groom’s house and at the bride’s home.
On the eve of the wedding day, a bridal service known as the Mehndi
ritual or henna
ceremony is held at the bride’s home. This ritual is sometimes done two days before the actual wedding day. During this bridal preparation ritual, turmeric
paste
is placed on the bride’s skin for the purpose of improving and brightening her complexion
. Then henna or mehndi, is applied on the bride’s hands and feet, by the mehndiwali, a female relative.
The Indian Islamic wedding ceremony is also preceded by a marriage procession known as the groom’s baraat
. From this convoy arrives the groom, who will share a sherbet drink with a brother of his bride, while at the place of the marriage ceremony which could either be at the house of either groom or bride or another venue. This drinking ritual happens as the sisters of the bride does some tomfooleries and playfully striking guests using flower-filled cudgels.
The wedding ceremony, known as Nikaah
, is officiated by the Maulvi
, a priest also called Qazi. Among the important wedding participants are the Walises, or the fathers of both groom and bride. and the bride's legal representative. It is the bride's father who promises his daughter's hand to the groom, a ritual known as the Kanya-dhan. Also in this formal occasion, particularly in conventional Islamic weddings, when men and women typically have separate seating arrangements. Another common practice are wedding sequences that include the reading of Quranic verses, the groom’s proposal and bride’s acceptance parts known as the Ijab-e-Qubul or the ijab and qabul; the decision-making of the bride’s and groom’s families regarding the price of the matrimonial financial endowment
known as the Mehar
or Mehr
(a dower no less than ten dirham
s), which will come from the family of bridegroom. Blessings and prayers are then given by older women and other guests to the couple. In return the groom gives salutatory salaam
wishes to his blessers, especially to female elders. The bride also usually receives gifts known generally as the burri, which may be in the form of gold jewelries, garments, money, and the like.
The marriage contract
document is known as the Nikaahnama, and is signed not only by the couple but also by the Walises and the Maulvi.
After the Nikaah, the now married couple joins each other; to be seated among commonly separately-seated male and female attendees. The groom is customarily brought first to the women's area in order for him to be able to present gifts to his wife's sister. Although jointly seated, the bride and the groom can only observe one another via mirrors, and a copy of the Quran is placed in between their assigned seats. With their heads sheltered by a dupatta
and while guided by the Maulvi, the couple reads Muslim prayers.
After the wedding ceremony, the bride is brought to her new home: the house of her husband, to be welcomed by her mother-in-law who will be holding a copy of the Quran over the bride’s head.
The wedding reception
hosted by the bride’s family is known as the Valimah or the Dawat-e-walima. Then, as custom dictates, the groom will stay in his wife's home overnight, but will be lodged inside a separate room and not with his wife. On the fourth day after the Nikaah, the bride performs the Chauthi, a trip to her parents' house.
, normally include the betrothal, the determination of the bridal dowry known as the hantaran agreed upon by both the parents’ of the groom and the bride (usually done one year before the solemnization of marriage), delivery of gifts and the dowry (the istiadat hantar belanja), the marriage solemnization (the upacara akad nikah) at the bride’s home or in a mosque
, the henna application ritual known as the berinai, the costume
changing of the couple known as the tukar pakaian for photography
sessions, a Sunday feast-meal for guests, and the bersanding or the sitting-in-state ceremony of the couple at their own home. Prior to being able to meet his bride, sometimes a mak andam, a “beautician”, or any member of the family of the bride will intercept the groom to delay the joining of the would-be spouses; only after the groom was able to pay a satisfactory “entrance fee” could he finally meet her bride. The wedding ceremony proper is usually held on a weekend, and involves exchanging of gifts, Quranic readings and recitation, and displaying of the couple while within a bridal chamber. While seated at their “wedding throne”, the newly-weds are showered with uncooked rice and petals, objects that signify fertility
. The guests of the wedding celebration are typically provided by the couple with gifts known as the bunga telur or “flower and egg”. The gifted eggs are traditionally eggs dyed with red coloring and are placed inside cups or other suitable containers bottomed with glutinous rice
. These eggs also symbolize fertility, a marital wish hoping that the couple will bear many offspring. However, these traditional gifts are now sometimes replaced by non-traditional chocolates, jellies, or soaps.
The marriage contract that binds the marital union is called the Akad Nikah, a verbal agreement sealed by a financial sum known as the mas kahwin, and witnessed by three persons. Unlike in the past when the father of the bride customarily acts as the officiant
for the ceremonial union, current-day Malay weddings are now officiated by the kadhi, a marriage official and Shariat or Syariat Court religious officer.
in the Philippines
include the Tausug tribe, a group of people in Jolo
who practice matrimonial activities based on their own ethnic legislation and the laws of Islam. Their customary and legal matrimony is composed of negotiated arranged marriage
(pagpangasawa), marriage through the “game
of abduction
” (pagsaggau), and elopement (pagdakup). Furthermore, although Tausug men may acquire two wives, bigamous or plural marriages are rare.
Tausug matrimonial customs generally include the negotiation and proclamation of the bridewealth (the ungsud) which is a composition of the “valuables for the offspring” or dalaham pagapusan (in the form of money or an animal that cannot be slaughtered for the marital feast); the "valuables dropped in the ocean" or dalaham hug a tawid, which are intended for the father of the bride; the basingan which is a payment in the form of antique gold or silver Spanish
or American
coins for the transference of kingship rights toward the usba or “male side”; the “payment to the treasury” (sikawin baytal-mal, a payment to officers of the law and wedding officiants); the wedding musicians and performers; wedding feast costs; and the guiding proverb that says a lad should marry by the time he has already personally farmed for a period of three years. This is the reason why young Tausug males and females typically marry a few years after they reached the stage of puberty
.
Regular arranged Tausug marriages through negotiation are typically according to parental wishes, although sometimes the son will also suggest a woman of his choice. This is the ideal, esteemed, and considered “most proper” in the legal point of view of Tausug culture, despite of being a time-consuming and costly practice for the groom. If the parents disagree with their son’s choice of a woman to marry, he might decide to resort to a marriage by abducting the woman of his choice, run away, run amuck, or choose to become an outlaw. In relation to this type of marriage, another trait that is considered ideal in Tausug marriage is to wed sons and daughters with first or second cousins, due to the absence of difficulty in negotiating and simplification of land inheritance discussions. However, there is also another way of arranging a Tausug marriage, which is through the establishment of maglillah pa maas sing babai or by “surrendering to the lady’s parents”, wherein the lad proclaims his intention while at the house of the parents of the woman of his choice; he will not depart until he receives permission to marry. In other circumstances, the lad offers a sum of money to the parents of the lass; a refusal by the father and mother of the woman would mean paying a fine or doubling the price offered by the negotiating man.
“Abduction-game marriages” are characteristically in accord with the grooms’ requests, and are performed either by force or “legal fiction”. This strategy of marrying a woman is actually a “courtship
game” that expresses a Tausug man’s masculinity and bravery. Although the woman has the right to refuse marrying her “abductor”, reluctance and refusal does not always endure because the man will resort to seducing the “abductee”. In the case of marriages done through the game of abduction, the bridewealth offered is a gesticulation to appease the woman’s parents.
Elopements are normally based on the brides’ desires, which may, at times, are made to resemble a “bride kidnapping” situation (i.e. a marriage through the game of abduction) in order to prevent dishonoring the woman who wished to be eloped. One way of eloping is known to the Tausugs as muuy magbana or the "homecoming to get hold of a husband", wherein a Tausug woman offers herself to the man of her choice or to the parents of the man who she wants to become her spouse. Elopement is also a strategy used by female Tausugs in order to be able to enter into a second marriage, or done by an older unwed lady by seducing a man who is younger than her.
During the engagement
period, the man may render, although not obligatory, services to his bride’s parents in the form of performing household chores. After the period of engagement has lapsed, the marital-union ceremony is observed by feastings, delivery of the whole bridewealth, slaughtering of a carabao
or a cow, playing gong
s and native xylophone
s, reciting prayers in the Arabic
and Tausug language
s, symbolic touching by the groom of his bride’s forehead, and the couple’s emotionless sitting-together ritual. In some instances when a groom is marrying a young bride, the engagement period may last longer until the Tausug lass has reached the right age to marry; or the matrimonial ceremony may proceed a wedding the Tausug termed as “to marry in a handkerchief” or kawin ha saputangan because the newly-wed man can live after marriage at the home of his parents-in-law but cannot have marital sex with his wife until she reaches the legal age.
Tausug culture also allows the practice of divorce
.
There are also other courtship
, marriage, and wedding customs in the Philippines.
traditionally involves scheduling the wedding date, preparation for the bride and groom, and carousing with dancing and singing which takes place one week or less prior to the wedding night. Bridal preparation is done by women by anointing the body of the bride with oil, application of perfumes to the bride's hair, use of creams, feeding the bride with special dishes, washing the bride’s hair with amber and jasmine extracts, use of the Arabian
Kohl
or Arabian eye liner
, and decorating the hands and feet with henna (a ritual known as the Laylat Al Henna or “henna night” or "night of henna", and performed a few days before being wed; during this evening, other members of the bride’s family and guests also place henna over their own hands). The Emirati bride stays at her dwelling for forty days until the marriage night, only to be visited by her family. Later, the groom offers her items that she will use to create the Addahbia, a dowry which is composed of jewelry, perfumes, and silk, among others.
In Dubai
, one of the seven emirates
of the UAE
, the traditional Bedouin
wedding is a ceremonial that echoes the earliest Arab concept of matrimony, which emphasizes that marital union is not simply a joining together of a man and a woman but the coming together of two families. Traditionally lasting for seven days, Bedouin marriage preparations and celebration starts with the marriage proposal known as the Al Khoutha, a meeting of the groom’s father and bride’s father; the purpose of the groom’s father is to ask the hand of the bride from the bride’s father for marriage; and involves the customary drinking of minty Arab
tea
. After this, the negotiating families proceed with the Al Akhd, a marriage contract agreement. The bride goes through the ritual of a “bridal shower
” known as Laylat Al Henna, the henna tattooing of the bride’s hands and feet, a service signifying attractiveness, fortune, and healthiness. The Al Aadaa follows, a groom-teasing rite done by the friends of the bride wherein they ask compensation after embellishing the bride with henna. The ceremonial also involves a family procession
towards the bride’s home, a re-enactment of a war dance
known as Al Ardha, and the Zaahbaah or the displaying of the bride’s garments and the gifts she received from her groom’s family. In the earliest versions of Bedouin wedding ceremonies, the groom and the bride goes and stays within a tent
made of camel
hair, and that the bride is not to be viewed in public during the nuptial proceedings. The wedding concludes with the Tarwaah, when the bride rides a camel
towards her new home to live with her husband. After a week, the bride will have a reunion with her own family. Customarily, the groom will not be able to join his bride until the formal wedding procedure ended. The only place where they will finally see each other is at their post-wedding dwelling.
Established Bedouin wedding customs also entail the use of hand-embroidered costumes, the dowry, and the bridewealth. Islamic law dictates that the jewelry received by the bride becomes her personal property.
Wedding
A wedding is the ceremony in which two people are united in marriage or a similar institution. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes...
ceremonies and marriage
Marriage
Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found...
rituals prevailing within the Muslim world
Muslim world
The term Muslim world has several meanings. In a religious sense, it refers to those who adhere to the teachings of Islam, referred to as Muslims. In a cultural sense, it refers to Islamic civilization, inclusive of non-Muslims living in that civilization...
. Participants in these rites belong to communities of people
Muslim
A Muslim, also spelled Moslem, is an adherent of Islam, a monotheistic, Abrahamic religion based on the Quran, which Muslims consider the verbatim word of God as revealed to prophet Muhammad. "Muslim" is the Arabic term for "submitter" .Muslims believe that God is one and incomparable...
who have Islam
Islam
Islam . The most common are and . : Arabic pronunciation varies regionally. The first vowel ranges from ~~. The second vowel ranges from ~~~...
as their faith
Religion
Religion is a collection of cultural systems, belief systems, and worldviews that establishes symbols that relate humanity to spirituality and, sometimes, to moral values. Many religions have narratives, symbols, traditions and sacred histories that are intended to give meaning to life or to...
.
According to the teachings of the Quran, a married Muslim couple is equated with clothing. Within this context, both husband and wife act as each other’s protector and comforter, just the way real garments “show and conceal” the body of human beings. Thus, they are meant “for one another”.
In Islam, Polygyny
Polygyny in Islam
In Islam, polygamy is allowed and practised under certain restricted conditions. Muslim men are allowed to practise polygyny, that is, they can have more than one wife at the same time, up to a total of four...
is allowed with certain restrictions, however Polyandry
Polyandry
Polyandry refers to a form of marriage in which a woman has two or more husbands at the same time. The form of polyandry in which a woman is married to two or more brothers is known as "fraternal polyandry", and it is believed by many anthropologists to be the most frequently encountered...
is not. Even so, the number of Polygynist families amounts to a very small minority with the majority of Muslims practicing monogamy
Monogamy
Monogamy /Gr. μονός+γάμος - one+marriage/ a form of marriage in which an individual has only one spouse at any one time. In current usage monogamy often refers to having one sexual partner irrespective of marriage or reproduction...
.
Arranged marriages
Arranged marriageArranged marriage
An arranged marriage is a practice in which someone other than the couple getting married makes the selection of the persons to be wed, meanwhile curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship. Such marriages had deep roots in royal and aristocratic families around the world...
s although young people are at liberty to express their preferences and state what they are looking for in a prospective partner, it is not the usual practice for them actively to seek a partner for themselves. This is mostly done by their parents or other elders within the family. In other words, it is usually an ‘arranged marriage’. Arranged marriage must fulfil the basic condition of the freely given consent of both the bride and the groom. A ‘forced’ marriage
Forced marriage
Forced marriage is a term used to describe a marriage in which one or both of the parties is married without his or her consent or against his or her will...
, where consent has not been given by either the bride or the groom, or is given only under excessive pressure, is a different matter; this would be contrary to the teachings of Islam, and would immediately call into question the validity of the marriage. Arranged marriages are the general custom among Muslims as the best way to find, vet and meet potential husbands or wives within the overall context of the Islamic way of life.
Community programs
There has been a recent emergence of events and programs held by community groups and organisations aimed at helping single Muslims to find prospective partners . These events and programs have mostly been found in non-Muslim countries, mainly in the USA and United Kingdom, due to the fact that there is growing concern from the organisers that the Muslim youth in non-Muslim countries are struggling to find prospective partners. The programs and events differ from traditional marriage bureaus and match making websites for the reason that participants can meet real people face to face and that the events do provide a platform for single Muslims to meet in a environment that is conducive to their faith.Choice of partner
With regards to freedomFree will
"To make my own decisions whether I am successful or not due to uncontrollable forces" -Troy MorrisonA pragmatic definition of free willFree will is the ability of agents to make choices free from certain kinds of constraints. The existence of free will and its exact nature and definition have long...
of choice
Choice
Choice consists of the mental process of judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one of them. While a choice can be made between imagined options , often a choice is made between real options, and followed by the corresponding action...
when marrying within their religion, Muslim men and women are given the right to choose who they want to marry. When marrying outside the religion, Muslim men may marry Christian or Jewish women but not other religions. Muslim women are not allowed
Endogamy
Endogamy is the practice of marrying within a specific ethnic group, class, or social group, rejecting others on such basis as being unsuitable for marriage or other close personal relationships. A Greek Orthodox Christian endogamist, for example, would require that a marriage be only with another...
to marry outside of Islam.
In relation to women, men are encouraged to get married to religiously devoted women.
Same-sex Marriage
Same-sex marriage
Same-sex marriage is marriage between two persons of the same biological sex or social gender. Supporters of legal recognition for same-sex marriage typically refer to such recognition as marriage equality....
is not allowed in Islam.
What to look for in a man
According "Initiating and Upholding an Islamic Marriage", Hedaya Hartford states that there are many significant factors to consider prior to getting married. When looking for a potential spouse one should look for specific virtues- In a husband these are: Piety, A halaal (lawful) income, sufficient to support his household, basic Islamic knowledge, because Allah says in the Quran, "Protect yourself and your family from the fire" (Qur'aan, 66:6)., contentment, ability to make mature judgments, ability to understand and think soundly, a forgiving nature, tolerance, an even temper, patience, generosity, responsibility, protectiveness, cooperation, being from a decent stable family, and good appearance and bodily cleanliness (Hartford 50).What to look for in a woman
According "Initiating and Upholding an Islamic Marriage", Hedaya Hartford states the qualities you look for in a woman to make your wife and the mother of your children are: Piety, affectionate and easy going nature, ability to make mature judgments, ability to understand and think soundly, obedience, patience, contentment, being from a decent stable family, good appearance and bodily cleanliness (Hartford 52-53).Dowries
At the wedding, a Muslim husband typically gives a gift, known as the MahrMahr
In Islam, mahr is an amount of money paid by the groom to the bride at the time of marriage which she can spend as she wishes. The English concept of "dower", the gift of funds to the wife in the event she becomes widowed, closely approximates mahr. The terms "dowry" and "bride price" are...
or dower
Dower
Dower or morning gift was a provision accorded by law to a wife for her support in the event that she should survive her husband...
, to his wife. This type of dower, based on what was agreed upon by the couple, could be in the form of any item and “in any amount”. An example is a cantar or a “great amount” of gold. However, the man can also marry a woman based on the amount of knowledge he has about the Quran, even though he has no material possessions.
After the consummation
Consummation
Consummation is the initial sexual act made within a marriage.Consummation can also refer to:* Consummation , 1970 recordingSee also:* Consummation of days, event predicted in Daniel Chapter 12, verses 1-4...
of their marriage, it is customary for the male spouse to give a wedding reception
Wedding reception
A wedding reception is a party held after the completion of a marriage ceremony. It is held usually as hospitality for those who have attended the wedding, hence the name reception: the couple receives society, in the form of family and friends, for the first time as a married couple. Hosts...
, known as the Walima
Walima
Walima or Valima , or the marriage banquet, is the second of the two traditional parts of an Islamic wedding. The walima is performed after the nikah, or marriage ceremony. The word walima is derived from awlam, meaning to gather or assemble. It designates a feast in Arabic...
, to family members and friends. Such a reception serves as a celebration of the couple’s happiness.
In Islam, both husbands and wives are described to have equal duties and rights, although men are further described as having a “degree above” their wives. The Islamic rationale for this is that the husband is given authority within the household because he has received a heavier load of responsibilities, which include taking care of the woman who has become his wife, and that he also provides financial support to her. Wives are expected to respect their husbands wishes. On the other hand, men are expected to safeguard their women, because they were married to women with God’s trust. Yet, both man and woman, once married, are expected to act as responsible guardians. Married men are to act as guardians of their families. The women, in turn, become guardians of the home and their children.
China
Prominent Muslims in China, such as Generals, followed standard marriage practices in the 20th century, such as using western clothing like white wedding dresses.Chinese Muslim
Hui people
The Hui people are an ethnic group in China, defined as Chinese speaking people descended from foreign Muslims. They are typically distinguished by their practice of Islam, however some also practice other religions, and many are direct descendants of Silk Road travelers.In modern People's...
marriages resemble typical Chinese marriages except traditional Chinese religious rituals are not used.
India
India
India , officially the Republic of India , is a country in South Asia. It is the seventh-largest country by geographical area, the second-most populous country with over 1.2 billion people, and the most populous democracy in the world...
normally follow marriage customs that are similar to those practiced by Muslims of the Middle-East, which are based on Islamic convention. These Islamic traditions were first handed down to medieval Indians by propagators of the Islamic religion that involved sultan
Sultan
Sultan is a title with several historical meanings. Originally, it was an Arabic language abstract noun meaning "strength", "authority", "rulership", and "dictatorship", derived from the masdar سلطة , meaning "authority" or "power". Later, it came to be used as the title of certain rulers who...
s and Moghul rulers at the time. The blueprint
Blueprint
A blueprint is a type of paper-based reproduction usually of a technical drawing, documenting an architecture or an engineering design. More generally, the term "blueprint" has come to be used to refer to any detailed plan....
is the same as the Middle-Eastern Nikah
Nikah
Marriage in Islam is an Islamic prenuptial contract between a man and woman to live as husband and wife. It is a formal, binding contract considered integral to a religiously valid Islamic marriage, and outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom and bride involved in marriage proceedings...
, a pattern seen in marriage ceremonies of Sunnis and Shias. Traditional Muslim Indian wedding celebrations typically last for three days. Prior to the observance of the wedding ceremony proper, two separate pre-wedding rituals, which involve traditional dancing and singing, occurs in two places: at the groom’s house and at the bride’s home.
On the eve of the wedding day, a bridal service known as the Mehndi
Mehndi
Mehndi or menhdi is the application of henna as a temporary form of skin decoration in India, as well as by expatriate communities from the country. The word mehndi is derived from the Sanskrit word mendhikā. The use of mehndi and turmeric is described in the earliest Vedic ritual books...
ritual or henna
Henna
Henna is a flowering plant used since antiquity to dye skin, hair, fingernails, leather and wool. The name is also used for dye preparations derived from the plant, and for the art of temporary tattooing based on those dyes...
ceremony is held at the bride’s home. This ritual is sometimes done two days before the actual wedding day. During this bridal preparation ritual, turmeric
Turmeric
Turmeric is a rhizomatous herbaceous perennial plant of the ginger family, Zingiberaceae. It is native to tropical South Asia and needs temperatures between 20 °C and 30 °C and a considerable amount of annual rainfall to thrive...
paste
Paste (rheology)
In physics, a paste is a substance that behaves as a solid until a sufficiently large load or stress is applied, at which point it flows like a fluid. In rheological terms, a paste is an example of a Bingham plastic fluid....
is placed on the bride’s skin for the purpose of improving and brightening her complexion
Complexion
Complexion refers to the natural color, texture, and appearance of the skin, especially that of the face.-History:The word "complexion" is derived from the Late Latin complexi, which initially referred in general terms to a combination of things, and later in physiological terms, to the balance of...
. Then henna or mehndi, is applied on the bride’s hands and feet, by the mehndiwali, a female relative.
The Indian Islamic wedding ceremony is also preceded by a marriage procession known as the groom’s baraat
Baraat
Baraat is a bridegroom's wedding procession in India and Pakistan. In Indian communities, it is customary for the bridegroom to travel to the wedding venue on a mare, accompanied by his family members....
. From this convoy arrives the groom, who will share a sherbet drink with a brother of his bride, while at the place of the marriage ceremony which could either be at the house of either groom or bride or another venue. This drinking ritual happens as the sisters of the bride does some tomfooleries and playfully striking guests using flower-filled cudgels.
The wedding ceremony, known as Nikaah
Nikaah
Nikaah is a 1982 Hindi film produced and directed by B. R. Chopra. The film stars Raj Babbar, Deepak Parashar and Salma Agha in her Hindi movie debut role. The film also had Asrani, Iftekhar and Gufi Paintal in support roles. The films music is by Ravi. The original name of the movie was Talaq...
, is officiated by the Maulvi
Maulvi
Mawlawi is an honorific Islamic religious title given to Sunni Muslim religious scholars or Ulema preceding their names, similar to the titles Maulana, Mullah, or Shaykh. Mawlawi generally means highly-qualified Islamic scholar...
, a priest also called Qazi. Among the important wedding participants are the Walises, or the fathers of both groom and bride. and the bride's legal representative. It is the bride's father who promises his daughter's hand to the groom, a ritual known as the Kanya-dhan. Also in this formal occasion, particularly in conventional Islamic weddings, when men and women typically have separate seating arrangements. Another common practice are wedding sequences that include the reading of Quranic verses, the groom’s proposal and bride’s acceptance parts known as the Ijab-e-Qubul or the ijab and qabul; the decision-making of the bride’s and groom’s families regarding the price of the matrimonial financial endowment
Gift
A gift or a present is the transfer of something without the expectation of receiving something in return. Although gift-giving might involve an expectation of reciprocity, a gift is meant to be free. In many human societies, the act of mutually exchanging money, goods, etc. may contribute to...
known as the Mehar
Mahr
In Islam, mahr is an amount of money paid by the groom to the bride at the time of marriage which she can spend as she wishes. The English concept of "dower", the gift of funds to the wife in the event she becomes widowed, closely approximates mahr. The terms "dowry" and "bride price" are...
or Mehr
Mahr
In Islam, mahr is an amount of money paid by the groom to the bride at the time of marriage which she can spend as she wishes. The English concept of "dower", the gift of funds to the wife in the event she becomes widowed, closely approximates mahr. The terms "dowry" and "bride price" are...
(a dower no less than ten dirham
Dirham
Dirham or dirhem is a unit of currency in several Arab or Berber nations, and formerly the related unit of mass in the Ottoman Empire and Persian states...
s), which will come from the family of bridegroom. Blessings and prayers are then given by older women and other guests to the couple. In return the groom gives salutatory salaam
S-L-M
Shin-Lamedh-Mem is the triconsonantal root of many Semitic words, and many of those words are used as names. The root itself translates as "whole, safe, intact".-Salam "Peace":...
wishes to his blessers, especially to female elders. The bride also usually receives gifts known generally as the burri, which may be in the form of gold jewelries, garments, money, and the like.
The marriage contract
Contract
A contract is an agreement entered into by two parties or more with the intention of creating a legal obligation, which may have elements in writing. Contracts can be made orally. The remedy for breach of contract can be "damages" or compensation of money. In equity, the remedy can be specific...
document is known as the Nikaahnama, and is signed not only by the couple but also by the Walises and the Maulvi.
After the Nikaah, the now married couple joins each other; to be seated among commonly separately-seated male and female attendees. The groom is customarily brought first to the women's area in order for him to be able to present gifts to his wife's sister. Although jointly seated, the bride and the groom can only observe one another via mirrors, and a copy of the Quran is placed in between their assigned seats. With their heads sheltered by a dupatta
Dupatta
Dupatta Dupatta(Urdu: دوپٹا, Hindi: दुपट्टा, Bengali: ওড়না, Sindhi: پوتي, Tamil:துப்பட்ட) Dupatta(Urdu: دوپٹا, Hindi: दुपट्टा, Bengali: ওড়না, Sindhi: پوتي, Tamil:துப்பட்ட) (alternative names include chadar (in Pakistan), orni/odhni, chunri, chunni, orna, and pacheri, is a long,...
and while guided by the Maulvi, the couple reads Muslim prayers.
After the wedding ceremony, the bride is brought to her new home: the house of her husband, to be welcomed by her mother-in-law who will be holding a copy of the Quran over the bride’s head.
The wedding reception
Wedding reception
A wedding reception is a party held after the completion of a marriage ceremony. It is held usually as hospitality for those who have attended the wedding, hence the name reception: the couple receives society, in the form of family and friends, for the first time as a married couple. Hosts...
hosted by the bride’s family is known as the Valimah or the Dawat-e-walima. Then, as custom dictates, the groom will stay in his wife's home overnight, but will be lodged inside a separate room and not with his wife. On the fourth day after the Nikaah, the bride performs the Chauthi, a trip to her parents' house.
Malay
Malay wedding traditions, such as those that occur in SingaporeSingapore
Singapore , officially the Republic of Singapore, is a Southeast Asian city-state off the southern tip of the Malay Peninsula, north of the equator. An island country made up of 63 islands, it is separated from Malaysia by the Straits of Johor to its north and from Indonesia's Riau Islands by the...
, normally include the betrothal, the determination of the bridal dowry known as the hantaran agreed upon by both the parents’ of the groom and the bride (usually done one year before the solemnization of marriage), delivery of gifts and the dowry (the istiadat hantar belanja), the marriage solemnization (the upacara akad nikah) at the bride’s home or in a mosque
Mosque
A mosque is a place of worship for followers of Islam. The word is likely to have entered the English language through French , from Portuguese , from Spanish , and from Berber , ultimately originating in — . The Arabic word masjid literally means a place of prostration...
, the henna application ritual known as the berinai, the costume
Costume
The term costume can refer to wardrobe and dress in general, or to the distinctive style of dress of a particular people, class, or period. Costume may also refer to the artistic arrangement of accessories in a picture, statue, poem, or play, appropriate to the time, place, or other circumstances...
changing of the couple known as the tukar pakaian for photography
Photography
Photography is the art, science and practice of creating durable images by recording light or other electromagnetic radiation, either electronically by means of an image sensor or chemically by means of a light-sensitive material such as photographic film...
sessions, a Sunday feast-meal for guests, and the bersanding or the sitting-in-state ceremony of the couple at their own home. Prior to being able to meet his bride, sometimes a mak andam, a “beautician”, or any member of the family of the bride will intercept the groom to delay the joining of the would-be spouses; only after the groom was able to pay a satisfactory “entrance fee” could he finally meet her bride. The wedding ceremony proper is usually held on a weekend, and involves exchanging of gifts, Quranic readings and recitation, and displaying of the couple while within a bridal chamber. While seated at their “wedding throne”, the newly-weds are showered with uncooked rice and petals, objects that signify fertility
Fertility
Fertility is the natural capability of producing offsprings. As a measure, "fertility rate" is the number of children born per couple, person or population. Fertility differs from fecundity, which is defined as the potential for reproduction...
. The guests of the wedding celebration are typically provided by the couple with gifts known as the bunga telur or “flower and egg”. The gifted eggs are traditionally eggs dyed with red coloring and are placed inside cups or other suitable containers bottomed with glutinous rice
Glutinous rice
Glutinous rice is a type of short-grained Asian rice that is especially sticky when cooked. It is called glutinous Glutinous rice (Oryza sativa var. glutinosa or Oryza glutinosa; also called sticky rice, sweet rice, waxy rice, botan rice, biroin chal, mochi rice, and pearl rice, and pulut) is a...
. These eggs also symbolize fertility, a marital wish hoping that the couple will bear many offspring. However, these traditional gifts are now sometimes replaced by non-traditional chocolates, jellies, or soaps.
The marriage contract that binds the marital union is called the Akad Nikah, a verbal agreement sealed by a financial sum known as the mas kahwin, and witnessed by three persons. Unlike in the past when the father of the bride customarily acts as the officiant
Officiant
An officiant is someone who officiates at a service or ceremony, such as marriage, burial, or namegiving/baptism. Officiants may be ordained by any denomination as members of their clergy, or by secular/Humanist or interfaith/interspiritual religious bodies...
for the ceremonial union, current-day Malay weddings are now officiated by the kadhi, a marriage official and Shariat or Syariat Court religious officer.
The Philippines
Muslim communitiesIslam in the Philippines
Islam is the oldest recorded monotheistic religion in the Philippines. Islam reached the Philippines between the 12th and 14th century with the arrival of Muslim traders from Persian Gulf and the Malabar Coast in Southern India, and their followers from several sultanate governments in the Malay...
in the Philippines
Philippines
The Philippines , officially known as the Republic of the Philippines , is a country in Southeast Asia in the western Pacific Ocean. To its north across the Luzon Strait lies Taiwan. West across the South China Sea sits Vietnam...
include the Tausug tribe, a group of people in Jolo
Jolo
Jolo may refer to:* Jolo Island* Jolo, Sulu* Jolo, West Virginia* Jolo is also the nickname of Swedish author Jan Olof Olsson....
who practice matrimonial activities based on their own ethnic legislation and the laws of Islam. Their customary and legal matrimony is composed of negotiated arranged marriage
Arranged marriage
An arranged marriage is a practice in which someone other than the couple getting married makes the selection of the persons to be wed, meanwhile curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship. Such marriages had deep roots in royal and aristocratic families around the world...
(pagpangasawa), marriage through the “game
Game
A game is structured playing, usually undertaken for enjoyment and sometimes used as an educational tool. Games are distinct from work, which is usually carried out for remuneration, and from art, which is more often an expression of aesthetic or ideological elements...
of abduction
Bride kidnapping
Bride kidnapping, also known as marriage by abduction or marriage by capture, is a practice throughout history and around the world in which a man abducts the woman he wishes to marry...
” (pagsaggau), and elopement (pagdakup). Furthermore, although Tausug men may acquire two wives, bigamous or plural marriages are rare.
Spain
Spain , officially the Kingdom of Spain languages]] under the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages. In each of these, Spain's official name is as follows:;;;;;;), is a country and member state of the European Union located in southwestern Europe on the Iberian Peninsula...
or American
United States
The United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...
coins for the transference of kingship rights toward the usba or “male side”; the “payment to the treasury” (sikawin baytal-mal, a payment to officers of the law and wedding officiants); the wedding musicians and performers; wedding feast costs; and the guiding proverb that says a lad should marry by the time he has already personally farmed for a period of three years. This is the reason why young Tausug males and females typically marry a few years after they reached the stage of puberty
Puberty
Puberty is the process of physical changes by which a child's body matures into an adult body capable of reproduction, as initiated by hormonal signals from the brain to the gonads; the ovaries in a girl, the testes in a boy...
.
Regular arranged Tausug marriages through negotiation are typically according to parental wishes, although sometimes the son will also suggest a woman of his choice. This is the ideal, esteemed, and considered “most proper” in the legal point of view of Tausug culture, despite of being a time-consuming and costly practice for the groom. If the parents disagree with their son’s choice of a woman to marry, he might decide to resort to a marriage by abducting the woman of his choice, run away, run amuck, or choose to become an outlaw. In relation to this type of marriage, another trait that is considered ideal in Tausug marriage is to wed sons and daughters with first or second cousins, due to the absence of difficulty in negotiating and simplification of land inheritance discussions. However, there is also another way of arranging a Tausug marriage, which is through the establishment of maglillah pa maas sing babai or by “surrendering to the lady’s parents”, wherein the lad proclaims his intention while at the house of the parents of the woman of his choice; he will not depart until he receives permission to marry. In other circumstances, the lad offers a sum of money to the parents of the lass; a refusal by the father and mother of the woman would mean paying a fine or doubling the price offered by the negotiating man.
“Abduction-game marriages” are characteristically in accord with the grooms’ requests, and are performed either by force or “legal fiction”. This strategy of marrying a woman is actually a “courtship
Courtship
Courtship is the period in a couple's relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage, or establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind. In courtship, a couple get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or other such agreement...
game” that expresses a Tausug man’s masculinity and bravery. Although the woman has the right to refuse marrying her “abductor”, reluctance and refusal does not always endure because the man will resort to seducing the “abductee”. In the case of marriages done through the game of abduction, the bridewealth offered is a gesticulation to appease the woman’s parents.
Elopements are normally based on the brides’ desires, which may, at times, are made to resemble a “bride kidnapping” situation (i.e. a marriage through the game of abduction) in order to prevent dishonoring the woman who wished to be eloped. One way of eloping is known to the Tausugs as muuy magbana or the "homecoming to get hold of a husband", wherein a Tausug woman offers herself to the man of her choice or to the parents of the man who she wants to become her spouse. Elopement is also a strategy used by female Tausugs in order to be able to enter into a second marriage, or done by an older unwed lady by seducing a man who is younger than her.
During the engagement
Engagement
An engagement or betrothal is a promise to marry, and also the period of time between proposal and marriage which may be lengthy or trivial. During this period, a couple is said to be betrothed, affianced, engaged to be married, or simply engaged...
period, the man may render, although not obligatory, services to his bride’s parents in the form of performing household chores. After the period of engagement has lapsed, the marital-union ceremony is observed by feastings, delivery of the whole bridewealth, slaughtering of a carabao
Carabao
The carabao or Bubalus bubalis carabanesis is a subspecies of the domesticated water buffalo found in the Philippines, Guam, Indonesia, Malaysia, and various parts of Southeast Asia...
or a cow, playing gong
Gong
A gong is an East and South East Asian musical percussion instrument that takes the form of a flat metal disc which is hit with a mallet....
s and native xylophone
Xylophone
The xylophone is a musical instrument in the percussion family that consists of wooden bars struck by mallets...
s, reciting prayers in the Arabic
Arabic language
Arabic is a name applied to the descendants of the Classical Arabic language of the 6th century AD, used most prominently in the Quran, the Islamic Holy Book...
and Tausug language
Tausug language
Tausūg is a language spoken in the province of Sulu in the Philippines, in Malaysia, and in Indonesia by the Tausūg people....
s, symbolic touching by the groom of his bride’s forehead, and the couple’s emotionless sitting-together ritual. In some instances when a groom is marrying a young bride, the engagement period may last longer until the Tausug lass has reached the right age to marry; or the matrimonial ceremony may proceed a wedding the Tausug termed as “to marry in a handkerchief” or kawin ha saputangan because the newly-wed man can live after marriage at the home of his parents-in-law but cannot have marital sex with his wife until she reaches the legal age.
Tausug culture also allows the practice of divorce
Divorce
Divorce is the final termination of a marital union, canceling the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between the parties...
.
There are also other courtship
Courtship in the Philippines
Traditional courtship in the Philippines is described as a "far more subdued and indirect" approach compared to Western or Westernized cultures. It involves "phases" or "stages" inherent to Philippine society and culture. Evident in courtship in the Philippines is the practice of singing romantic...
, marriage, and wedding customs in the Philippines.
United Arab Emirates
Generally, wedding ceremonies in the United Arab EmiratesUnited Arab Emirates
The United Arab Emirates, abbreviated as the UAE, or shortened to "the Emirates", is a state situated in the southeast of the Arabian Peninsula in Western Asia on the Persian Gulf, bordering Oman, and Saudi Arabia, and sharing sea borders with Iraq, Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, and Iran.The UAE is a...
traditionally involves scheduling the wedding date, preparation for the bride and groom, and carousing with dancing and singing which takes place one week or less prior to the wedding night. Bridal preparation is done by women by anointing the body of the bride with oil, application of perfumes to the bride's hair, use of creams, feeding the bride with special dishes, washing the bride’s hair with amber and jasmine extracts, use of the Arabian
Arab world
The Arab world refers to Arabic-speaking states, territories and populations in North Africa, Western Asia and elsewhere.The standard definition of the Arab world comprises the 22 states and territories of the Arab League stretching from the Atlantic Ocean in the west to the Arabian Sea in the...
Kohl
Kohl (cosmetics)
Kohl is an ancient eye cosmetic. It was made by grinding galena and other ingredients. It is widely used in South Asia, the Middle East, North Africa, the Horn of Africa, and parts of West Africa to darken the eyelids and as mascara for the eyelashes...
or Arabian eye liner
Eye liner
Eye liner is a cosmetic used to define the eyes. It is applied around the contours of the eye to create a variety of aesthetic illusions. Although primarily aimed at females, it has broadened its appeal to the male market, known commonly by the portmanteau guyliner.-History:Eyeliner was first used...
, and decorating the hands and feet with henna (a ritual known as the Laylat Al Henna or “henna night” or "night of henna", and performed a few days before being wed; during this evening, other members of the bride’s family and guests also place henna over their own hands). The Emirati bride stays at her dwelling for forty days until the marriage night, only to be visited by her family. Later, the groom offers her items that she will use to create the Addahbia, a dowry which is composed of jewelry, perfumes, and silk, among others.
In Dubai
Dubai
Dubai is a city and emirate in the United Arab Emirates . The emirate is located south of the Persian Gulf on the Arabian Peninsula and has the largest population with the second-largest land territory by area of all the emirates, after Abu Dhabi...
, one of the seven emirates
Emirates of the United Arab Emirates
The United Arab Emirates is composed of 7 emirates :-References:...
of the UAE
United Arab Emirates
The United Arab Emirates, abbreviated as the UAE, or shortened to "the Emirates", is a state situated in the southeast of the Arabian Peninsula in Western Asia on the Persian Gulf, bordering Oman, and Saudi Arabia, and sharing sea borders with Iraq, Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, and Iran.The UAE is a...
, the traditional Bedouin
Bedouin
The Bedouin are a part of a predominantly desert-dwelling Arab ethnic group traditionally divided into tribes or clans, known in Arabic as ..-Etymology:...
wedding is a ceremonial that echoes the earliest Arab concept of matrimony, which emphasizes that marital union is not simply a joining together of a man and a woman but the coming together of two families. Traditionally lasting for seven days, Bedouin marriage preparations and celebration starts with the marriage proposal known as the Al Khoutha, a meeting of the groom’s father and bride’s father; the purpose of the groom’s father is to ask the hand of the bride from the bride’s father for marriage; and involves the customary drinking of minty Arab
Arab cuisine
Arab cuisine is defined as the various regional cuisines spanning the Arab World, from Morocco and Tunisia to Saudi Arabia, and incorporating Levantine, Egyptian .-History:...
tea
Tea
Tea is an aromatic beverage prepared by adding cured leaves of the Camellia sinensis plant to hot water. The term also refers to the plant itself. After water, tea is the most widely consumed beverage in the world...
. After this, the negotiating families proceed with the Al Akhd, a marriage contract agreement. The bride goes through the ritual of a “bridal shower
Bridal shower
A bridal shower is a gift-giving party held for a bride-to-be in anticipation of her wedding. The custom originated in the 1890s and is today most common in the United States, Canada, and by North American influence, in Australia....
” known as Laylat Al Henna, the henna tattooing of the bride’s hands and feet, a service signifying attractiveness, fortune, and healthiness. The Al Aadaa follows, a groom-teasing rite done by the friends of the bride wherein they ask compensation after embellishing the bride with henna. The ceremonial also involves a family procession
Procession
A procession is an organized body of people advancing in a formal or ceremonial manner.-Procession elements:...
towards the bride’s home, a re-enactment of a war dance
War dance
A war dance is a dance involving mock combat, usually in reference to tribal warrior societies where such dances were performed as a ritual connected with endemic warfare....
known as Al Ardha, and the Zaahbaah or the displaying of the bride’s garments and the gifts she received from her groom’s family. In the earliest versions of Bedouin wedding ceremonies, the groom and the bride goes and stays within a tent
Tent
A tent is a shelter consisting of sheets of fabric or other material draped over or attached to a frame of poles or attached to a supporting rope. While smaller tents may be free-standing or attached to the ground, large tents are usually anchored using guy ropes tied to stakes or tent pegs...
made of camel
Camel
A camel is an even-toed ungulate within the genus Camelus, bearing distinctive fatty deposits known as humps on its back. There are two species of camels: the dromedary or Arabian camel has a single hump, and the bactrian has two humps. Dromedaries are native to the dry desert areas of West Asia,...
hair, and that the bride is not to be viewed in public during the nuptial proceedings. The wedding concludes with the Tarwaah, when the bride rides a camel
Camel
A camel is an even-toed ungulate within the genus Camelus, bearing distinctive fatty deposits known as humps on its back. There are two species of camels: the dromedary or Arabian camel has a single hump, and the bactrian has two humps. Dromedaries are native to the dry desert areas of West Asia,...
towards her new home to live with her husband. After a week, the bride will have a reunion with her own family. Customarily, the groom will not be able to join his bride until the formal wedding procedure ended. The only place where they will finally see each other is at their post-wedding dwelling.
Established Bedouin wedding customs also entail the use of hand-embroidered costumes, the dowry, and the bridewealth. Islamic law dictates that the jewelry received by the bride becomes her personal property.
See also
- Islamic marital jurisprudenceIslamic marital jurisprudenceIn Islamic law , marriage is a legal bond and social contract between a man and a woman. Islam commends marriage, with the age of marriage being whenever the individuals feel ready, financially and emotionally...
- Pakistani weddingPakistani weddingMarriage in Pakistan is a legal union between a man and a woman. Culturally, it is not only a link between the husband and wife, but also an alliance between their respective families...
- Punjabi wedding traditionsPunjabi wedding traditionsPunjabi wedding traditions and ceremonies are traditionally conducted in Punjabi and are a strong reflection of Punjabi culture.The actual religious marriage ceremony - among Sikhs, the weddings are conducted in Punjabi; among Muslims, in Urdu; and among Hindus, in Sanskrit. There are...
- Persian marriage